


Matchmaker

by CynthiaK2014



Category: The Magnificent Seven (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-25
Updated: 2015-05-25
Packaged: 2018-04-01 04:39:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 12
Words: 99,163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4006156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CynthiaK2014/pseuds/CynthiaK2014
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set in the modern day ATF universe.  Ezra Standish and Vin Tanner try for a relationship while keeping up with their cases.  Originally written in 2001 under my pseudonym Athea Holmes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The rape/noncon is thwarted in the past but the effects linger. Violence is part of their job but I'll warn ahead of time.

********************  
Ezra, part one  
******************** 

The rose on my desk hadn’t been there last night when I left at nine with my report safely written, printed and slipped into Mr. Larabee’s in-basket. But there it stood in a small bud vase right by the phone where I’d be sure to see it. I cast a quick look around at the others but each was busy.

I shook out my coat and hung it neatly on the hanger I’d brought in to help the camel’s hair keep its shape. The finicky neatness of my youth seemed deeply ingrained into my soul. When a single layer of cloth was all that stood between the elements and me I knew better than to take it for granted. The silk scarf that I unwound from around my neck and folded neatly had come from Mr. Tanner at Christmas time.

He’d gotten my name in the interoffice draw and I’d been greatly pleased by his obvious care in choosing the brilliant green scarf. He’d muttered something about my feeling the cold when I’d thanked him and blushed so red that I’d just nodded. He wasn’t much of a talker, unlike myself and I didn’t want to embarrass him with too profuse a thank you. 

Sadly, it was the closest I was ever likely to be to him.

But I’d procrastinated enough and I turned to find the rose still there. Sitting down, I lifted the vase and brought the deep crimson bud to my nose. The deep rich scent filled my nostrils and I held it inside, remembering lazy summer afternoons in Georgia at my Grandmother’s house. Maude had parked me there for the third time when I was eight and Grandmother Eugenia had let me tend her garden with her.

“That’s quite a smile you have there, Ezra. Where’d you find a rose this time of year?” Buck’s voice broke into my memories and I opened my eyes to find him perched on the corner of my desk. His blue eyes gleamed with the very thought of new gossip.

I placed it back on the desk and shook my head. “I have no idea, Mr. Wilmington. Was I the only one so favored this morning?”

“Yep, Chris said it was here when he arrived at seven.”

Shuddering at the thought of getting up that early, I eyed him sternly. “Are you setting me up again, sir? Is there some poor young lady also the recipient of a rose bud this morning?”

He made a mock gesture of consternation, his hand over his heart. “You wound me, Ezra. I have no idea who did it. Maybe you have a secret admirer?”

“Yeah, Ezra, maybe some beautiful woman on one of the other teams wants to catch your attention.” J. D. broke into the conversation with an excited aside from his desk next to mine. He didn’t get out much and his reading tended to be on the sensational side.

“Then, she should have left me a note along with the rose.” I stood up and automatically shook out my pants. “I will leave you two to speculate while I go and see what our fearless leader hates the most about my report.”

“Ah, you’re no fun, Ezra.” J. D. sighed and Buck left my desk for his.

Tapping at Mr. Larabee’s door, the quiet ‘come in’ took me into his office. Vin was already there, slouched in a chair in front of our chief’s desk. His blue eyes met mine and his shy smile made my heart beat faster. “Good morning, gentlemen. I don’t suppose that either of you know anything about the floral offering on my desk?”

Larabee’s smile was more of a smirk. “We haven’t had a good rumor in the office for weeks. I figured that someone decided to start one. Now, about the Munson case . . .”

I took the chair next to Vin and breathed in his clean scent rather like I’d inhaled the rose’s perfume. Keeping half my mind on the monologue across the desk, I let the other half catalog the sight of my deepest despair. The long blond hair cascaded over the blue shirt stretched across his broad shoulders. He’d washed it with something that smelled of ‘spring’ to me and my fingers itched to comb through it.

“Hell, Chris, we know all that.” Vin’s voice was irritated and the disgusted look he threw across the desk at his friend surprised me.

“I’m recapping, Vin.” Larabee glared back but without the ice that he usually showed to everyone else. “If you’ve got another way of getting one of us into that gated community, I wish you’d tell me what it is.”

“Gentlemen, if I may?” I interrupted the verbal duel and caught a twin glare. “Have you read the end of my report, Mr. Larabee?”

“Yes. And it’s too dangerous, Ezra.” The glare softened for the first time in my history with the ATF and I wondered why.

“Way too dangerous, Ez’.” Vin was frowning now and I could hardly believe my ears. Larabee had shared my report with our marksman? “Vernon Munson doesn’t take no for an answer.”

The disgust in his voice almost overshadowed the fear in his eyes and I felt a flash of white-hot anger at the very thought that the playboy might have hurt him. My suggestion had been that I should go in as an innocent bystander with a starry-eyed view of the smuggling that Munson was involved in. I’ve been bi-sexual most of my life and acting the naïve for him would be child’s play.

But I was wondering if Vin had been a true naïve when he’d met him.

Those clear blue eyes met mine and he tried to smile at the question in them. “Chris got there in time so all I had to show for it was some bruises and a strong desire to never be in that position again. I hear tell that he hasn’t changed any.”

“All the more reason for me to go in and make sure that he doesn’t get away with this latest atrocity. Drugs are plentiful enough without him bringing more in for his playmates. I think you could trust me with this one, Mr. Larabee. Mr. Tanner.” I smiled while my heart broke at the certainty in his voice. Male loving was obviously not an option for the sharpshooter and the little fantasy that had kept my hopes alive over the last year died a quiet death.

Friendship would have to be enough.

“Trust isn’t the problem, Ezra.” Larabee ran a hand through his hair, ruffling the short blond waves. “Vernon is growing unpredictable and I have my suspicions that he’s begun using his own drugs to excess. To the best of my knowledge, he’s already raped and killed two men. He bought another one off who belonged to a Family he didn’t want to offend. The instability is dangerous.” 

“Drug taking is a fool’s game. He’s partial to blondes but he has a weakness for green eyes so he might let my dark hair slip by.” I kept my attention on our leader so I wouldn’t see the disgust in Vin’s gaze when I offered to prostitute myself for the team. It wasn’t like I hadn’t done it before.

Although that was long ago and far from this little haven I’d found. A year had gone by, longer than I’d ever been in one place. Perhaps this would be the straw that broke the team’s inclusion of me into their lives. I would miss the easy camaraderie that warmed my frozen soul. But if my mother had taught me anything, she’d taught me to keep a bag packed at all times.

“No!” Vin was sitting up and glaring at me ferociously. “He doesn’t have a kind bone in his body and he likes to . . . to hurt the person that he’s with. You’re good and fast with the martial arts, Ez’, but he’s so big and heavy that he could hurt you bad.”

I was stunned at his appeal and his seeming desire to keep me in one piece. When I found out what Vernon had done to this gentle soul, I would take great pleasure in cutting off his cock and stuffing it down his throat. Vin deserved to be cherished for the beautiful person he was. His innocence shone from him and was one of the things I loved about him.

One of the many emotions that he’d freed in me.

“Mr. Tanner, I understand your concern,” I didn’t really but I wanted him to relax. “And I promise to take every precaution needed but unless you can come up with something else . . .” I shrugged.

“I know, damn it!” Larabee was tapping his pencil on his desk, a sure sign that he was thoughtfully considering my request. “I just wish there was another route. Vernon is too dangerous to leave alone. Judge Travis wants to convict him in the worst possible way.”

“Then I will get to work, gentlemen.” I smiled and nodded to them both before escaping into the outer office. It was time to head down to the research library on fifth floor to do my homework.

The small office tucked into a corner of the ATF building housed a small collection of eclectic items, not least of which was the librarian. Miss Clover had a timeless quality about her. Rumor had it that she’d been here since the forties but to me she was ageless. With her short spiked gray hair, soft blue eyes and smiling lips, she reminded me of the Grandmother I’d been reminded of this morning.

“Miss Clover?” The outer office was empty but a muffled curse from behind the steel security door led me into her inner sanctum. She was tugging on a table, trying to move it from its current location to another.

“Mr. Standish, how fortunate.” She stopped and leaned against the edge of the heavy table. “I would appreciate another hand, if you would be so kind.”

Smiling, I stepped in and took hold of one end. A noise from behind startled me but the smile on her face told me it was someone she also considered a friend. “Miz Clover, you know I told you to give me a call when you wanted to move something.”

I’d know that soft twang anywhere. Did I dare hope that Vin had followed me to speak more of his past?

“Mr. Tanner, how nice of you to give Mr. Standish a hand. I had this wonderful idea about space and what we do in here.” She stepped aside and let Vin take her place. Directing us with a gentle hand, we moved every piece of furniture in the room. When we were done, the room looked much bigger and I wasn’t quite sure why.

She smiled with great satisfaction and patted our shoulders. “Much better and you boys were so quick that I can still get the computers hooked back up before lunch. But right now, the two of you need to sit down here while I go make us a nice pot of tea. I’ll knock on the door when it’s ready.”

Leaving us and shutting the door firmly behind her, I couldn’t help but smile at Vin. He was already chuckling and the sound was tucked into my heart-memory.

“She’s a real character. You got any idea what we just did to make the place look so big?” He was looking around and I split my attention between it and him.

He was so graceful while he prowled the room like a cougar I’d seen once in the Florida bayous. “I’m not sure but by rounding the corners with those two bookcases and setting this table in the center, she’s created something like a formal herb garden knot.”

Casting a startled look at me, he nodded slowly. “And turning this storage cabinet this way, lets her put the bulletin board on its back so that freed up the wall space to hold the two new computers back to back. Reminds me of a feng shui bagua.”

I nodded at his comparison. “I expect that if she puts a wind chime over there so the breeze from the opening door moves it, she’ll be inviting protection for her family.”

“And that’s us,” Vin sighed and sat down at the table we’d first moved. “The teams of ATF agents are her family. She told me she don’t have any others.”

Joining him, I watched the sadness in his eyes. “You don’t need to talk about the incident if it hurts. I won’t take him less than seriously.”

He traced a circle on the table in front of him, over and over. “I was 24 and still a virgin . . . in all ways. Life was tough growing up and I kind of put all those feelings into a locked spot in my heart. Didn’t figure that I was supposed to learn about love and such this life.”

My heart ached at the shy confession and I spared a quick wondrous thought that our upbringings had been so similar in that respect.

“But Chris saw something in me that I didn’t know was even there and added me to the team. One of the first cases was a drug murder and he put me into a kind of undercover spot on the University campus.” Shy eyes met mine and he quirked a smile. “You probably figured out that reading and I don’t get a long too well. Its called dyslexia and I was on campus to work with a tutor. The Munson clan was there and that’s when Vernon saw me.”

His slight shiver was almost unnoticeable. And once again, I felt that white-hot anger rise up at the man who’d tried to take advantage of his innocence. “You matched the profile of the murder victim, didn’t you?”

He nodded. “At first, I remembered it was a job but he was real sympathetic and he even helped me with my reading. Real patient and kind, affectionate even like I was a favored younger brother. Something inside of me kept trying to tell me that he wasn’t what he seemed but I was too caught up in the feelings.”

I was going to castrate him with a dull knife, I decided. “But one night it changed and he attacked you?”

Those blue eyes held so much pain that it was all I could do to keep my hands in my lap to keep from reaching out to him. “Yeah, we’d had a couple beers and were wrestling a mite when he made his move. At first, it was just a kiss and he was real patient with me. He was only the third person who’d ever wanted to. I reckon that he knew that and went real slow. I was walking on clouds when Chris decided that I needed to go to our next session wired. I fought it hard but he got that old black glare on his face and Buck like to matched it.”

I thanked God again for the family spirit of this rare team. “And he tried to rape you.”

His eyes went distant and his finger kept tracing that circle on the tabletop. “First, he wanted me to sniff some white powder to ‘help me concentrate’. I remember feeling so cold whilst he was sniffing some to show me how harmless it was. I knew right there that he didn’t really feel anything for me but by then he was tearing at my clothes and had me pinned to the floor when he discovered the wire under my shirt.”

I held onto my hands to keep from reaching across the table. “But Chris and Buck appeared and pulled him off you. Why didn’t he serve any time for attempted rape?”

The blush told its own story. “I was so ashamed at what I’d been feeling. His lawyer got him off pleading entrapment. Said that I lured him on.”

“You had nothing to be ashamed of.” I knew my voice was too intense but I couldn’t bear to see him feeling guilty for something that wasn’t his fault. “And I promise that I won’t feel anything for him or let myself get taken in by spurious concern. I know full well that he wouldn’t mean it.”

No one had ever meant it including the woman who’d betrayed me and the man who’d fucked me. Maude was right when she shook her head and wondered aloud how she could have ever born such an un-loving child.

He smiled shyly. “I know that, Ezra. Chris took me out to the ranch and let me heal. Josiah came out and took me fishing. Buck went riding with me. J. D. brought out this computer game that helped with my reading problem while Nathan ‘bout walked my legs off hiking over those hills of Chris’.”

Thank God, they’d been there for him. I wished I had been but then I wouldn’t have been very useful except for killing Mr. Munson slowly and painfully. But there was no time like the present to overcome that little oversight.

“I’m glad that your family was there for you.” I tried out a smile and it must have passed because he smiled back. “Will it hurt for you to talk about him?”

“Nah, I mostly got over it when I met Charlotte. She took care of my virginity and when she left, at least it was with gentleness.” He shrugged ruefully and I felt that twinge that reminded me of how much that hurt. Someday he’d find a woman who loved him and whom he could love.

It would hurt but I’d be happy for him. And the ice inside of me would grow a little thicker. Who ever said ‘it was better to have loved and lost then never to have loved at all’ didn’t know what the hell he was talking about. A knock at the door had me leaping to my feet to open it for Miss Clover. Her sharp glance told me that we’d be having a long talk in the near future.

Just like Grandmother Eugenia.

The golden brew was poured into delicate glass cups with handles so small that I could only get one finger through them. But the weight was negligible and we soon were sipping at the fragrant tea. She looked a question at me and I savored the taste of my first swallow.

“Chrysanthemum flowers.” I said confidently.

Her eyes crinkled. “Quite right, Mr. Standish, how very discerning of you. Now, why did you come to the library?”

“I need some background information on Vernon Munson and his family.” I told her and tried not to watch Vin turn his teacup around and around in his long, elegant fingers. He has such beautiful hands that I could watch them for hours. Wrenching my attention back to my favorite librarian, I surprised a sad look in her eyes.

“The Munsons were once the premier family of Denver but the line has dwindled to Vernon and his third cousin Michael. I’m afraid that Michael spends most of his time in the third world countries trying to make up for the appalling excesses of his cousin. Wait here while I bring up a file or two that might help you.” She set down her cup and rose to leave.

I watched her closely without seeming to. Had she faltered a little when rising? I wasn’t the only one watching because Vin spoke as soon as she was out of earshot. “She looked a little pale. Think maybe she was feeling light headed?”

“I don’t know but maybe she knew Michael or his folks and it’s painful to speak of them. Some background would be nice about the whole family.” I chafed at the bit. I wanted the information now so I could go to work on taking Vernon down. 

“How’d you know what kind of tea this was, Ez’?”

My attention came back to Vin and his puzzled look. “I spent some time in China working for another of the alphabet agencies and I enjoyed most their teas. One of my friends was an elderly apothecary named Li Soong and he taught me how to identify the different blends.”

“It’s real soft on the tongue but it smells like flowers.” Vin took another drink and I had to drop my eyes to my cup to hide my reaction to the innocently erotic swallow.

I was a fool to keep tormenting myself thusly but I couldn’t bring myself to stop. Mother always had despaired of my ‘soft’ longings. Someday I’d be the frozen son who would do her proud but not yet . . . not just yet. I’d soak up these painful feelings to remind me on those cold, lonely nights when I’d moved on. This could be the case that did it . . . the one that alienated me from the ‘family’ of Team Seven.

So I did what I always did and hid behind my words while telling him of some of the varieties of tea I’d drunk. He was laughing when Miss Clover returned with some yellowing files and her smile was soft as she shook her head at his antics. Then his cell phone went off and he left for a training session with some of team four at the shooting range.

“What a nice pair of boys you are, Mr. Standish.” Miss Clover sat down where he’d been sitting and pushed the files to me. “It does my heart good to hear him laugh. Are you ever going to tell him of your feelings?”

My heart tried to crawl right out of my chest and lodge like a giant lump in my throat while I gazed horrified at her. She clucked and shook her head. “My dear Mr. Standish, it’s quite evident to me that you love him not at all like a brother. Such love shouldn’t be wasted or allowed to die just because of some outmoded belief in the mores of the times.”

I gulped my tea and watched her pour me some more. “How?”

Her smile was tender while she patted my hand. “Those pretty green eyes of yours give away the secrets of your soul every time you look at him. I may be an old woman but those feelings don’t ever go away. I was just remembering what I felt the moment I first saw young Michael Munson. He’d just turned 21 and was still the unspoiled seeker of truth. I was 31 and fell so helplessly in love that I never fell out.”

The faint longing was still there in her voice. “But I was already set in my ways and had no desire to commit the sin of chaining him down. We were friends and that was all I could expect so he began his travels and soon we were down to a card at Christmas. After his parents death, he never once returned to the States except for the one day every three years that he came and spoke to the family trust lawyer. Vernon was already showing his true colors and Michael was so appalled that he simply couldn’t cope with it. If there is anyway to bring Vernon to the punishment he so richly deserves, I will do everything in my power to help.”

The steel of her gleamed brightly before me and I nodded slowly. “It’s true that my assignment is to bring him down and stop the drug importation that is under his control. I would appreciate your help.” I paused and looked down at our hands, turning mine slowly to clasp hers. “As to the other matter, I am . . . not sure that anything can be done. He has no inclinations towards . . . men and I must respect that.”

“But it hurts like a sword through the heart.” Her quiet words echoed those I couldn’t bring myself to say. “I hope that you are wrong but whatever happens, please remember that I’m here and always ready to listen. There wasn’t anyone I could share my sorrow with so many years ago. Oh, I had a fling or two and enjoyed the loving but it wasn’t enough. No one but him will ever be enough.”

Her words reverberated through out my entire body and I clutched her hand tightly while I concentrated on fighting back the tears that could never be allowed to fall. All I could manage was a slightly strangled, “Thank you.”

She nodded sharply, letting me go and opening the files in front of her, giving me time to regain my composure and get back to the business at hand. We spent an hour going over the Munson family history. I had a much better grasp of the background that had shaped the young Vernon. I’d also seen a picture of the two cousins laughing at something beyond the camera range.

Michael was tall and slender with slightly shaggy blond hair and a pair of the greenest eyes that I’d ever seen. His entire body glowed with good health and vitality, completely eclipsing the younger Vernon. His hulking football build was such a contrast to his older cousin’s quicksilver demeanor. At least to my eyes. Michael and Vin were like twins and I could see why the younger Miss Clover had fallen so hard.

We were more alike than I had imagined. Perhaps I would grow to accept my fate calmly the way she had. I’d been alone most of my life and looked to be alone for the rest as well. Perhaps I’d look back one day and find myself able to remember Vin with nostalgic tenderness, the way she seemed to remember Michael.

And if I were very lucky, I’d be able to take down Vernon and allow her Michael to return home safely for more than the occasional visit. Of course, any physical damage I could inflict on Vernon along the way would be one of those little perks that I found so satisfying. Standish’s tended to become rather mean when their family was interfered with the way that Mr. Munson had interfered with mine.  
*********************  
Vin, part two  
**************** 

I was a mite worried that Ezra still didn’t understand how bad Vernon could be when he’d had a snoot full of that pretty white powder. I’d have to keep an eye on him to make sure he didn’t do nothing rash. Miss Clover had surprised me with her knowledge of the Munson family. I was pretty sure that she wouldn’t have said anything but for the fact that Ezra would be putting his life on the line this time when he went under cover.

She had a soft spot for the genteel agent. And if I admitted it, so did I. He was such a private person and he hid himself under layers and layers of camouflage. But sometimes I saw part of the man underneath and that man fascinated me. I was used to watching others like I watched the men I had hunted for bounty. You can learn a lot about people that way.

And the more I knew about Ezra Standish, the more I wanted to know. He was the mystery man of our team and for some reason I couldn’t let him alone. I needed to know more about what made him tick. It just wasn’t like me not to give a man his privacy but there was this little itch that wouldn’t go away every time I saw him. Not for the first time, I wished my Ma hadn’t left me quite so young. She had a way of seeing right through to the heart of folks.

I could use that right now and I didn’t know why. Or why that pretty rose on his desk had made me frown. Chris said it was probably just some lovesick secretary but I wasn’t so sure. The smile on his face that I’d caught through the blinds in the other office seemed to touch something deep inside of me. It was a happy smile, open and bright, not the way he usually controlled himself.

Part of me wanted to see him that way again. The team was my family and the best I’d ever had but just lately I’d been a mite restless . . . wanting something but I wasn’t quite sure what. It wasn’t something that I could talk to Chris about, at least not yet. But from what Miss Clover had said, maybe I had a friend I could share with. She reminded me of Miss Nettie just a bit.

Both of them were independent elderly ladies and I’d always gotten along well with them. Or maybe I would sit down with Josiah and ask him about these feelings that puzzled me. He never judged anybody, just accepted them for who they were. Those wise eyes of his could see so deep that sometimes it was scary. But his gentleness was as much a part of him as his wisdom and I trusted him almost more than I trusted Chris.

I was a lucky man to have such a close family of brothers. The team I was coaching right now on the firing range didn’t have that closeness and I pitied the lone woman among them. Valerie was the best shot of the bunch but she had to hide her ability to keep the peace among her fellow agents. The team leader wasn’t using his people to their fullest potential and I thanked God for Chris’ ability to accept us for who we were.

Some of the others called us eccentric and other names not quite nice, but none of them could boast our solve-rate or our success in catching the bad guys. I sent team four on their way, keeping Valerie back for a moment with just a little tick of my head. When the others had gone, I grinned at her and proposed a bet. She grinned back and reloaded her gun. Setting up the targets, I took a stance and watched her match me.

Five minutes later we brought our targets forward and I shook her hand. We’d tied each other and I told her that I’d be willing to have her as backup any day. She put her gun away and shook my hand with a quiet, ‘thank you’. I’d seen a shadow near the door and I waited for whoever had a need to hide to come out.

Wasn’t too surprised to see the leader of team four come forward. His name was Duncan Hastings and seemed to be a pretty stand-up guy. “She’s good, isn’t she?”

“Yep, she’s better than any two of the rest of your team. I wasn’t joking about having her as my backup.” I kept it simple and watched him sigh.

“I’ll work on it, Tanner. I don’t want her leaving because we’ve frustrated her and not utilized her abilities to the fullest. Thanks.” He nodded to me and left.

That made me feel better and I’d be sure to tell Chris that Hastings seemed to be a canny fellow. We had paired with them a couple of months back and it had worked out okay. Ezra and Valerie had played a couple on the lookout for some diamonds. They dressed up real good and flashed a lot of money around with Ezra playing poker with his usual style.

I couldn’t have done it to save my life but Ezra, he just smiled and cuddled Valerie close while cleaning out the bad guys of all their cash so they had to use their stolen diamonds for one more shot at getting back their money. He and Val were wearing wires and Ezra made J. D. and Nathan outside in the surveillance van laugh over and over. Valerie had told me later that she’d never felt so beautiful as she did with Ez as her escort.

He was real courtly with the ladies but I hadn’t seen him dating or anything since he’d joined the team. Partly that was because he was undercover almost seven of the last twelve months with just the occasional time in the office. Sometimes I wondered how he kept who he was straight with his job. Did he ever forget who he was supposed to be?

Heading back to our floor, I checked the time and stuck my head into Chris’ office. He was talking on the phone and waved me to my usual chair. I made sure that the others had already left before sitting back and contemplating this new assignment. I hated Vernon with all my heart for his cruelty and part of me wanted to be the one who took him down.

But it looked like Ezra would be the one in harm’s way and I didn’t like that at all. I kept reliving those long moments when I’d been held helpless by the big man’s weight and known that I was a heartbeat away from being raped by someone who I thought might care for me. My stomach was tight and it hurt to take a deep breath.

“What’s wrong, Vin?” Chris had finished his phone call without me realizing it.

“Just remembering that night. I’m worried that Ezra might underestimate him and get hurt.” I couldn’t sit still and had to get up to pace. “Miz Clover was bringing up some files about the family when I had to leave so maybe he’ll come up with something else that won’t put him in such danger.”

“He can take care of himself, Vin.” Chris shrugged and that didn’t sit well with me. “He’s a big boy and his martial arts training will protect him.”

“You saying that I was so weak that Vernon could take me easy?”

“Hell, no!” Chris glared at me. “You know better than that. He didn’t have the history that he does now. You went in not having the whole story but Ezra does and he knows exactly what he’s facing.”

I was still pacing from the window to the door. “He’s shorter and slighter than I am, Cowboy. All it would take is one lucky punch and Vernon would have him hog-tied and at his mercy.”

“Not going to happen, Vin. Those new wires are so small that we can have him wired for sound and Vernon wouldn’t find a thing. Not that it will get to that point.” Chris was tapping his pencil again which told me he wasn’t quite as sure as he was letting on. “At the risk of repeating myself, he can take care of himself.”

Movement at the corner of my eye stilled my restless pacing. Ezra had just come in and was carrying some folders to his desk. Laying them on the golden oak, he picked up the vase and took another long sniff of the pretty rose. That smile was back, the one that spoke of old memories that felt real good.

As if he knew I was watching, his eyes lifted to mine and he blushed just a bit as if I’d caught him doing something wrong. And that just wasn’t right. He had the right to have good memories, the same as the rest of us. I left the office and reached his desk at the moment he put the rose back down.

“It’s a real pretty rose, Ezra. I’m glad that someone thought to bring it in. You don’t often find an old fashioned rose with some smell left to it.”

He chuckled. “Indeed, Mr. Tanner, it reminds me of the roses that my Grandmother Eugenia tended in her Georgia garden for many years. Some of my summers were spent helping her prune and fertilize ‘her babies’ she called them. I don’t think I’ve smelled a sweeter rose since.”

That was a good memory and I relaxed at the thought it was his grandma and not an old girlfriend he was remembering. “My Ma was always partial to red roses. She told me they stood for passion.”

Those green eyes of his met mine and for just a moment I thought I saw sorrow in them before he shuttered them the way he usually did. “She was right, Mr. Tanner, they do stand for passion. It’s too bad that my secret admirer didn’t think to leave a note. I’ll be taking these files home to study tonight.”

He opened his briefcase and laid the files inside before turning for his coat. The hesitation caught my eye and when he took his coat and practically turned it inside out, I wondered what was wrong. He felt in both sleeves and the pockets before surveying the floor almost frantically.

“What’s wrong, Ez?” It looked like he’d lost something.

“My scarf . . . the one you gave me for Christmas, it’s not here.” He was checking under his desk and then the desks near his.

That made me feel pretty good about my choice of present. When I got his name, I was real flustered. He’s a man who believes in quality and I didn’t have a clue what to get him. But one day when he was complaining about the cold, I had the idea. Miss Nettie and I went shopping in a real fancy men’s clothing store and she’d helped me pick out the green scarf. I knew it was the right one when he opened it and immediately slung it around his neck.

It matched his eyes perfectly.

He’d thanked me quietly but I could see that he really liked it. He’d worn it every day since and I smiled every time I saw it around his neck. “Maybe one of the other guys borrowed it?”

His eyes snapped with emerald fire. “They know better, Mr. Tanner. I’m beginning to think that my ‘admirer’ may not have the best of intentions.”

That sobered me right up. “You mean a stalker.”

“Exactly.” His voice was tense and his shoulders slumped a little when he turned back to his coat. “Hopefully, you are correct and it will be returned unharmed. I shall just have to endure the chill until it’s found.”

“You could buy a spare so’s you don’t have to wear it every day.” I suggested and saw his eyes go blank. “Herman’s is where I got that one. Miz Nettie went with me so I wouldn’t get scared off by those uppity salesmen.”

The warmth came back into his eyes and he smiled his familiar half smile. “If it isn’t returned I will brave Herman’s to see if an adequate replacement can be found. Good afternoon, Mr. Tanner, I will see you tomorrow.”

He nodded to me and buttoned his coat on the way out the door. I watched him leave wondering for the thousandth time what went on inside of his head. Heading back to Chris’ office, I told him about the missing scarf. He took it seriously too and we decided to say something to the others about watching who came in and out of our offices.

It was a pretty open area and members of other teams used our meeting room since it was the only one on this floor. But the room where our desks were was a little more private with two doors coming in and out. They weren’t ever locked since we locked our desks and Chris locked his desk and office. It was a mystery and one that I was determined to solve.

I didn’t like to think of some psycho woman targeting Ezra like that.

Buck walked in right then and when Chris said something about it, he flung himself in the other chair and thought hard. “You know it might not be a woman at all but one of the other male agents who’s sweet on Ezra. The man is a tasty morsel no matter how you look at it. I got to say that there’s one or two who wouldn’t mind waking up on the same pillow with our gambler.”

I couldn’t hardly believe my ears when he said that but when I looked at Chris, he was nodding like he understood. A man? Not a woman but a man who liked Ezra? That just wasn’t possible that somebody like Vernon would be on one of our teams. “That’s not right, Buck, we don’t have anybody like that here.”

Buck’s eyes met Chris’ and they talked silently between them for a long moment. “Vin, it isn’t always like Munson. There are men who love other men just like you loved Charlotte.”

“And there are committed couples out there who share the same love and devotion that Sarah and I had.” Chris’ voice was soft, the way it always is when he talks about his dead wife. “It doesn’t have to be rape and pain, the way that Vernon tried on you. I can think of at least two other male couples in this building. The policy is still ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ and that’s worked pretty well for the last few years.”

I couldn’t hardly believe my ears. I knew they weren’t funnin’ me because they both knew the shame I’d felt when Vernon had tried to rape me. “Willingly? Couples that I know on the other teams?”

Chris nodded. “Sorry, Vin, I didn’t realize that you didn’t know. Male on male love can be just as satisfying as the other variety. Some men and women are bisexual and can go either way.”

My brain was trying to put everything back in the right slots but nothing fit anymore. Buck leaned forward and put his hand on my knee. “Vin, if you’ve got questions, I’d be glad to answer them. I wasn’t sure that you’d want to know about that kind of loving so I never offered before. But,” he shrugged and shot a smile at Chris, “I’ve been there and done that so if you want, I’ll do my best to explain it.”

Buck? Womanizer Buck had loved another man? I felt as if the world had gone upside-down on me and nothing was what it seemed. And Chris seemed to understand it completely. Could he have done . . . that too? Was I so stupid that I’d never even thought about men? And that’s when it hit me . . . I’d enjoyed Vernon’s kisses and somewhere in my mind had to have been the thought about where those kisses would lead.

I gulped over the big lump in my throat. “I think maybe I do, Buck. I think maybe I’d like to know what it’s like when you . . . l-l-like the person you’re with.”

His eyes were so gentle when he squeezed my knee before sitting back. “No problem, Vin. We’ll get together over a beer or two tonight and I’ll give you a course in Male Loving 101. Guaranteed to answer all the questions you can think of.”

Chris snorted. “I believe I’ll come along and make sure that all the information is accurate and not . . . stretched at all.”

Buck looked wounded and clapped his hand to his heart. “Would I stretch the truth, Chris? Don’t answer that. I might dress it up a little but I’d never tell a lie.”

“Exactly what I’m afraid of, Buck. I’ll come along just the same.” He glared at his oldest friend and the thought crossed my mind that maybe they’d been one of those pairs earlier in their friendship. That was a whole new thought for me and I knew that I needed some time alone to think.

After I heard a little more about the whole thing.

Nathan joined us then and his questions about our next assignment let me slip from the room and away from the strange new emotions. Standing hesitantly by my desk, I felt the need to get out and walk away some of this tension. Thinking back to what Ezra had said about wind chimes, I grabbed my coat and headed out.

There was a gift shop near the ATF building that I’d been in before with J. D. who needed a present for Casey. It was a long narrow store and I was pretty sure I’d seen wind chimes in the back. The air was brisk and cold and I breathed it in like I hadn’t had fresh air in a long time. Even with all the gas fumes from the cars going by, it was still cleaner than the dry air in our office building.

The bell tinkled when I opened the door and wiped my feet. The owner nodded at me with a bright smile and took me straight back to the spot I’d remembered from before. Even though it was still February, she had garden items on display next to the wind chimes and they reminded me that Spring was coming. She left me alone and I took my time testing the chimes.

One had a real sweet sound and a cat decorating it. I knew that Miss Clover liked cats because there was always cat hair on her clothes. Nothing too much ‘cause she was a real clean lady but those critters leave hair everywhere. I took it down and started looking around to see what else was there. I didn’t have any reason to be looking for a present but you never knew when you were going to need something.

The gardening display drew me like a magnet. Ma had loved digging in the soil and even though I was only three when she died, I could remember playing in the dirt while she planted seeds nearby. I could still feel the soft earth between my little fingers and the mud pies she’d helped me make while the sun beat down on us. Most of the display was kind of silly; full of things that no real gardener would use.

But the prepackaged seeds and soil looked kind of fun. They had four different kind of herbs and the picture of lavender took me back again to the soft scent in the little pillow that Ma had made for me. I’d had it for most of my childhood until it disappeared during the tenth move or maybe it was the eleventh. It had lost its smell years before but I still missed it sometimes.

The directions were real simple and I thought I’d give it a try. If I got into trouble, Josiah would loan me his green thumb. I paid for them both and held the bag close to me while I walked back to the ATF building. Stopping on fifth floor, I gave Miss Clover the chimes and told her what Ezra had said. She gave that sharp little nod of hers and had me put the hook in the ceiling so I could hang it.

Opening and closing the door made it ring sweetly and she smiled up at me while she patted my shoulder. Then she shooed me out so she could close the library. I hadn’t realized that I’d taken that long to shop so I dashed up the stairs instead of taking the elevator. I didn’t want Buck to think that I didn’t want to talk some more.

The two of them were still talking but Nathan’s coat was gone along with Josiah’s and the clock showed 5:30. Work had been kind of slow lately and Chris had let us come and go, as we needed. I put my little garden on my desk and scissored open the tops of the plastic bags so I could pour some water from the office cooler in. When I looked up, I saw Buck and Chris watching me.

I couldn’t help but blush a little. “Saw this and remembered my Ma growing lavender back when I was a baby. Thought I might give it a try.”

Chris smiled at me. “Good idea. When they grow too big for your desk, you can transplant them into that little park by that deathtrap you call home.”

“Now, now, don’t go calling my place a deathtrap, Chris. It’s getting better down in the neighborhood since the Sisters of Mercy moved into that set of row houses a block over. They’ve already begun talking about planting a garden for the neighbors this summer.” I told him as we walked out of the office.

“Right.” Buck said, clapping me on the shoulder and continuing the gentle needling I’d come to expect from him. He was the big brother I’d never had and even though he teased me all the time, I knew I could always count on him if I ever got into trouble.

We each took our own cars to Inez’ restaurant and bar. That was another sore point with the others whenever they saw my old Jeep. But it was comfortable if you didn't mind a few breezes coming up through the floorboards or the noise of the engine. I could probably afford something newer but I didn’t like being in debt and I was still a thousand shy of the cost of a new Jeep.

I got there first and ordered a pitcher of beer for our usual table in the far corner. Inez smiled at me and scolded me for not stopping in to eat in over a week. She promised me a quesadilla platter that would spark my appetite and I accepted for all of us. Some of the others might show up and I wanted some questions answered before they did.

Chris and Buck knowing how stupid I’d been, I could take but I wouldn’t want the others to know. The other two were only a couple of minutes behind me and once the beer was poured, Buck started talking. He and Chris went back and forth between the two of them and when I asked hesitantly about their friendship they looked at each other before nodding.

Buck’s eyes were gentle when he talked about the joy that came from bedding a friend. And Chris’ smile was tender at the need for strength tempered with gentleness. A whole new world was opening up before my eyes and I could hardly think of any questions. But then I asked about some of the ‘hows’ and their answers widened my eyes. I didn’t have a lot of experience with women but Charlotte had gone down on me once so at least I kind of knew about oral sex.

“And that tastes good?” I couldn’t help asking.

Buck chuckled and ate another quesadilla leaving Chris to answer. “Yes, it does, Vin. Or at least it doesn’t taste bad.”

I thought about that for a long moment while I finished my second beer and shook my head at another. I needed my wits about me when I asked my last question. “Did either of you ever wonder if I’d be . . . open to another man?”

Buck choked a little and shook his head while Chris pounded on his back. His eyes were watering and he gulped the last of his beer. “Jesus, Vin, don’t spring that one on somebody without some warning!”

“Sorry, but I need to know.” I wasn’t sure what I was really asking but it had something to do with a comment I’d heard once in the locker room.

Chris tilted his head a mite then answered me. “Vin, don’t take this the wrong way but I have to say that except for Ezra, you are the one of Team Seven that a majority of the other agents would vote to be marooned with on a deserted island.”

“M-m-me?” I stuttered.

“Boy, you’ve got a kind of classic beauty that a man can appreciate.” Buck said earnestly while I was still thinking about it. “But more important, you’ve got integrity and heart. Anybody, man or woman, would be pleased to have you choose them to share your life with.”

I blinked at him and wondered when the world had done this 180 on me. Buck thought I was beautiful? I blushed beet red and dropped my eyes to the table.

“Vin, you okay?” Chris’ voice was low. “Josiah and Nathan are headed our way. We better table this for now. But if you have more questions, you come to Buck or me and we’ll do our best to answer them.”

“Okay.” I greeted Josiah and our healer but slid out from behind the table so they could take my place. I had some thinking to do and I needed privacy for all the new thoughts I’d had sprung on me. Saying my good byes, I headed for home and some space. I concentrated on my driving so’s I didn’t have an accident but those thoughts just naturally followed me home.

I didn’t turn on any lights when I got there, just took off my coat and hung it up before going to the window to sit in the old rocker that I’d found on a junk heap a couple of years back. It wasn’t the prettiest chair I’d ever seen but it had been broke in by an expert and the steady creaking reminded me of sitting on my Mama’s lap and being rocked to sleep.

Just how did I feel about my new knowledge? And did Ezra agree with Buck and Chris about male loving? Why did learning something only lead to more questions? I sighed and settled in for some heavy thinking.

*********************


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vin helps Ezra prepare for his undercover assignment and they dine well.

******************   
Ezra, part three  
****************** 

I arrived at work rather early for me. The clock had just reached 9 when I strolled in and found the others clustered around my desk. Something clenched inside of me and I wondered what my ‘admirer’ had given me now. Vin noticed me first and he blushed for some reason, giving way to let me approach my chair.

The scarf was back on my desk but with an addition.

My initials were tastefully embroidered at one end in a dull gold that went very nicely with the brilliant green of the silk scarf. “Well, my admirer has good taste at the very least.”

“She likes to sew anyway.” Buck said slowly. “I don’t think we need to worry about it being one of the guys. I don’t think any of them embroider.”

“Perhaps.” Larabee glared at my innocent scarf while I was still in shock at Buck’s suggestion. “We need to be a little more careful watching who comes and goes through these rooms, guys. This may be a harmless flirtation on somebody’s part but until we know who, I want us to be alert.”

“Any ideas, Brother Ezra?” Josiah was sniffing my rose with a faint smile.

“None, Mr. Sanchez. I do not believe that anyone has made any overtures to me about anything other than one of our cases. I am so rarely here that perhaps they have simply mistaken the desk as belonging to one of you.”

“Nope, Ezra, those are your initials. I’d say who ever it is knows you at least a little and wants to know you better.” Nathan nodded to me and returned to his desk.

That’s what I was afraid of. Sighing, I picked it up and laid it aside so I could set my briefcase down. “Gentlemen, I appreciate your concern but I’m sure this will all blow over as soon as I go back undercover. And I have some files to go over with our esteemed leader about a possible persona, so if you would excuse us?”

They dispersed a bit reluctantly while I hung up my coat and took the files that Miss Clover had given me out of my briefcase. By reading and rereading the files, I’d come to an understanding of Vernon Munson that anyone else might find odd. But I had a knack at putting myself into another’s mind and then acting on it. I wasn’t up to the profiler’s job the way that Josiah was but the actor in me somehow knew what made someone tick so I could copy it.

It’s one of the reasons that I’m so good at what I do.

But this time, my emotions kept getting in the way and I’d been up most of the night distancing myself from any personal involvement. That always left me cold and aching but nothing that a couple of aspirin wouldn’t cure . . . and perhaps a brandy with lunch. I mocked that silly part of me that persisted in dreaming of things that could never be and people who could never feel what I was feeling.

Larabee beckoned me into his office and I took the files with me along with my notes and the possible scenarios I’d come up with. Two hours later, I had his permission to begin my next assignment. That was something of a record for me. Mr. Larabee wanted to take Munson with a passion that I shared even if I hid it better than he did.

Buck was waiting for me with an invitation to lunch that I took with a sense of caution. I’d found myself on the other end of a couple of practical jokes that had made me wary. But to his credit, he wanted to help me with my secret admirer. We went to a nearby restaurant which was a step up from his usual choice and several steps down from mine but the food was adequate and the service quick.

Once our waitress had left, he started right in with some suggestions that I found rather touching. When I told him that they’d have to wait until I returned from my taking down Vernon Munson, he turned serious in a way that I’ve never seen in him before.

“He’s scum, right down to the toes of his expensive boots.” His tones were bitter and he turned the bottle of beer in his hands, but his thoughts were far away. “I won’t ever forget how bruised and battered Vin was by the time that we got to him. I wish I’d dropped him out of the window of that fancy mansion of his. If I had, you wouldn’t have to go in now and finish what we started.”

I had to go slowly since I didn’t want him to think my curiosity was of the scurrilous kind. “Vin mentioned that Vernon was kind at first, even helping him with his reading.”

“Oh yeah, he really suckered Junior good.” He took a swallow of beer and looked at me with sad eyes. “Vin was new to the team and still wary of us. He had the kind of childhood that no child should have to have. He was passed around Texas from family to family until he left the juvenile system at sixteen. He’s still real innocent though, you might have noticed that about him?”

I clenched my jaw to keep back the words I wanted to say, contenting myself with a nod. He took that as an indication to continue. “Hell, up until last night, he still thought that all male loving was the rape kind.”

I almost choked on my water. He leaned over and patted my back while I tried to regain my composure. “And now he doesn’t?”

“Hell, no. Chris and I took him over to Inez’ and filled him in on the good side of men loving men.” Buck’s eyes twinkled at me. “You probably already figured out that Chris and I go back a long way. Vin went home to think about it but he’ll be fine once he gets it all into place. I think he was more shocked at the fact that so much of the ATF lusts after him. Men and women.”

That was all too plausible. I’d seen the looks that he engendered just walking by with that graceful stride of his. I mourned for the loss of some of that innocence but felt just a smidgen of hope that he hadn’t meant his disgust from the day before. He was still very young in the ways of the world and I hoped he never grew jaded.

“He will one day be appreciated for the beautiful young man that he is. That must have been a very interesting conversation, I’m sorry I missed it.” And that was God’s honest truth. The knowledge that Buck and Chris had once been close wasn’t quite the news that he might have thought. They were too comfortable together to be anything but old lovers.

“Yeah, he’s a good man and he deserves somebody real special. I think he finally understood that good friends make the best lovers.” Buck smiled at our waitress, bringing our food. “That looks great, honey. I’m going to need some ketchup though.”

While I watched Buck destroy a perfectly good sandwich, I thought about what he’d told me. Vin’s innocence shone from him and I really hoped that Buck hadn’t given him the wrong ideas about the other options for loving. My salad was fresh and with just a touch of oil and vinegar, was a perfectly good lunch even though Buck shook his head over my ‘rabbit food’.

I quizzed him on the previous investigation of Munson and he buckled down and gave me the details that no report ever completely gets right. What he does, he does well and I appreciated the extra flesh on the bare bones of that case. It all went into my mind and the sub-layers that I’d be drawing on while undercover. Lunch took over an hour but I felt much better about my interpretation of what would bring me to Vernon’s attention.

We walked back to the office and I sat down at my computer to construct a background that would hold up to the scrutiny of a probe. J. D. was most helpful with suggestions and the way to imbed information into the databases to support my persona. He was more intelligent than he let on but since he was the youngest of the team, he knew his role and fulfilled it to perfection.

His naiveté was less than Vin’s but he seemed to instinctively know that the others didn’t want to admit that to themselves. We had an agreement to let each other be who we really were and I rather enjoyed having at least one of the team know more than just my first layer as it were. The only other one who probably knew me was Josiah and his all-seeing eyes would have been frightening without his gentle spirit. Occasionally he called me ‘son’ and I really didn’t mind since he was more father than I’d ever had growing up.

Once I had the basics in place, I went back to Larabee’s office to give him the paperwork he needed. He sat me down and gave me the usual speech about being careful and making sure that I could back up any allegations that arose in the course of my investigation. I nodded in all the right places and put on a suitably earnest look while I assured him that I’d be careful.

Perhaps he was fooled but he’d surprised me before so maybe he was just crossing all the T’s for the record. Josiah accompanied me down to the lab where the latest wires were to be found. His presence was comforting while the technician poked and prodded my suit and person. They really were marvels of miniaturization and practically undetectable unless I was stripped naked and moved away from my clothes.

Not something I planned on doing.

Josiah gave me a firm handshake and a promise to bring me to the attention of his Lord. Prayers never hurt and I thanked him before returning upstairs to get my coat and scarf. Running the silk through my fingers, I made sure there wasn’t anything else added to it except the initials.

Whoever she was, I admired her grasp of psychology. She’d taken a gift from another person and instead of destroying it in a fit of temper, she’d made it part of her campaign. How she knew that I wouldn’t just throw it away, I don’t know but if it was a guess it was inspired. Nothing that Vin ever gave me could be discarded. It was too precious and rare like the man himself.

I would not be taking it undercover. My clothes would be quite different for this role. Michael Munson’s travel in Central America was the key. It had not escaped my attention that Vin and Michael were virtual twins. Vernon was obviously in lust with his older cousin and constantly drawn to those who resembled Michael. I was going to be a returning Peace Corps volunteer who’d worked with his cousin in Guatemala.

My Spanish was excellent and I’d spent time all over Central America so my knowledge would back up my story. And my green eyes would remind Vernon of the man he loved. If he even knew what that emotion was. A drug addled brain might hold onto the remnants of an old passion and give me the ‘in’ I needed to investigate the drug smuggling. 

Wrapping my scarf around my neck, I tucked the embroidered end inside and buttoned my coat over it. It was time to take my wires and my information home to effect my transformation into Edward Stanton, earnest volunteer and all-round-do-gooder. It would be a stretch but then I was gambling my life on my ability.

It was a sure thing.

Walking down the flights of stairs, I entered the parking garage to find Vin half in and half out of his rusty old Jeep. I could almost hear the silent curses that he was muttering under the hood. Taking a brief moment to admire the provocative pose that he was unwittingly giving me, I took a deep breath and approached him.

“Is there something I could help you with, Mr. Tanner?”

“Ouch!” He hit his head on the upraised hood and rubbed the spot while grinning at me. “Hope you didn’t hear any of that. Darn thing won’t start and she’s got new spark plugs. Hate to think I wasted twenty dollars when she really needs a new starter.”

Good heavens, he was worried about $20. “What about the battery? Would some jumper cables be of any use?”

“Nah, she’s got juice, just no spark.” He was still rubbing his head and the lost-little-boy-look melted a little of my steely resolve to give him a wide berth.

I was probably going to regret this but the chance to store some more memories was too much temptation to pass up. “Perhaps I could give you a lift home and tomorrow Mr. Wilmington could help you work on . . . her.”

“It’s way out of your way, Ezra and you probably got plans.” The wistful look pierced all my layers of armor as if they were nothing.

“No plans save for some packing. Actually, you could help me out with that if you would be so kind.” I was going to hate myself, I just knew it.

“Really? You’d let me help?” He seemed so excited at the prospect of helping me and the boyish glee touched me with a warmth that only he could produce.

“Certainly, Mr. Tanner, I should probably shop at the local Good Will for the kind of clothes that a returning Peace Corps volunteer might have. I’m not sure just where the nearest one is but I seem to remember one in your neighborhood.” I was lying of course. I knew every inch of the Purgatorio district in its relation to his apartment building. His safety was top of most of the teams lists. I would venture to say that any one of us could find his building and apartment blindfolded.

“Sure is.” He let the hood down gently, as if that could possibly hurt the old wreck. “It’s about two blocks from my building and the Sisters of Mercy have been having a clothes drive to restock the shelves. I’m not saying it’s the cleanest stuff at the moment but you could wash them once or twice to make sure they’re okay to wear.”

I restrained my shudder with a determined air. “I’d be washing them anyway. Perhaps after this case is over, I can go through some of my wardrobe and find some donations for the good Sisters endeavors?”

His smile lit up the underground parking ramp. “That would be right kindly of you, Ezra. They’d sure enjoy having some good cloth to work with.”

“You can remind me after we finish the Munson case.” I told him and watched his face fall. “Don’t worry, Mr. Tanner, this case won’t take long to wrap up. And I will be just fine although I can not promise the same about Mr. Munson.”

“I’m just a mite worried about the case but I don’t want you to think that I don’t think you can’t take care of yourself.” He looked hopeful and I felt a little more ice melt from around my heart.

“Thank you, Mr. Tanner, I appreciate your trust and I promise not to abuse it. Now, we should be on our way so I can finish my shopping in time to do a washing or two.” I led the way to the gleaming Jag sitting three spots down from his rusting Jeep.

I could feel his warmth by my side and I took another deep breath to fill my lungs with his scent. I wished I could ask him about his shampoo but that would definitely be too personal a question. The key chain control unlocked the door for both of us and he grinned over the top at me.

“You just love those toys, don’t ya, Ezra?”

“I find them comforting, Mr. Tanner. In case of need, seconds can make the difference.” I smiled gently and slid behind the wheel after placing my briefcase behind the driver’s seat.

“Yeah, I know what you mean.” He frowned when he settled in beside me. “I been thinking about what I want on my new Jeep when I get the last thousand saved up. Has the Jag ever gone bad on ya?”

“No, not yet.” I started the engine and let it run for a moment before backing out. “She’s five years old now and my mechanic keeps her in excellent condition.”

Vin nodded. “Yeah, maintenance is important. It’s why I try to keep the oil changed and all the rest of it. But I’m kind of hard on her and she is creeping up on 12 years old.”

“We’ll all be glad when you get something new.” I risked a glance over at him and caught the tail end of a smile. 

“Yeah, Chris gives me hell every time he sees it and Buck won’t ride with me anymore.” He looked at me and I restrained myself from melting at the wry smile.

I nodded and kept my eyes on the traffic around us. It would be all too easy to let my control slip this close to him. The car radio began playing the familiar strains of Rimsky-Korsakov’s Scheherazade and I let the lilting violins soothe away the tension. The public radio station in Denver was even better than the one I’d grown used to in Atlanta and all my radios were permanently fixed on its frequency.

“That’s real pretty, Ezra. What kind of song is it?” Vin’s eyes were far away when I risked a side-glance at him.

That was a nice neutral subject and I made the story of Nikolai Rimsky-Korsakov’s life and music last all the way to Purgatorio. Vin hung on my every word and that was a rather heady experience for me. He was like a sponge soaking up the knowledge and mulling it over in his mind.

I parked in the alley behind his apartment building and set the car alarms. Taking my briefcase with me, I followed Vin up the stairs to his apartment. The tight jeans showed every flex of the long muscles of his back and legs. I contained my drooling but memorized every movement for replay later. And if my gaze returned rather frequently to the rounded globes of his ass, well that was understandable.

His apartment always amazed me with the clean lines of the few pieces of furniture and the pristine cleanliness of the whole room. When the door closed behind us, I felt the first hint of awkwardness creep in.

“Um, Ezra, can I ask you a question?” Those blue eyes looked into mine and I wanted nothing more to stand there forever, lost in that innocent gaze.

I had an idea I knew what he was going to ask and so braced myself, drawing in like a turtle into his shell. “Of course, you can.”

But he shook his head. “Nah, I’ll ask later. We need to find you something to wear when we go to the Good Will store. You’d be the center of attention in that pretty suit of yours. I’ve got some jeans and a sweatshirt you can put on while we’re shopping.”

For a moment, I was speechless at the very thought of wearing something that he’d worn. But I managed a nonchalant smile and nod, which he returned with a grin. The chest of drawers in the corner served as his closet and he knelt down to pull open the bottom drawer while I watched.

The jeans and sweatshirt were old and faded but scrupulously clean just like everything else in his apartment. He rose gracefully and handed them to me. “These should fit you okay, Ezra. There’s a hanger on the back of the bathroom door so’s you can hang up your suit.”

I couldn’t trust my voice right then so I just nodded and left him for the safety of the small bathroom. Laying the bundle on the closed toilet lid, I began stripping off my Ralph Lauren navy-blue suit. The white hanger was cheap plastic and barely adequate for the job but I mentally consigned the suit to the cleaners and kept on getting undressed.

The jeans were soft as butter and hugged me from back to front. The sweatshirt was a faded memento of the University of California but the soft forest hue made my eyes look even greener. My handmade leather loafers from Italy were navy and wouldn’t look unduly ridiculous with the outfit. I’d have to dig out my old running shoes for the actual charade.

Opening the door, I came out, carrying my suit on the hanger. Vin was rocking in the battered old rocker by the window and I suddenly knew that was one of his favorite spots. I felt privileged to be shown such a personal sight of this private man. The pensive look on his face told me that he was thinking hard.

“Hey, Ezra, that shirt never looked that good on me.” He jumped to his feet and met me in the middle of the room.

“It’s quite the wrong color for you, Mr. Tanner. Blue would work better with your eyes.” I bit my tongue at his blush. That was much too personal a remark. “I’ll just put my suit in the car and we can peruse the clothing selection at the local emporium.”

He nodded. “If’n you can bring yourself to call me Vin, it would sound a lot better to the Sisters.”

“Of course.” I was going to have a sore tongue at this rate if I didn’t quit biting it. “Did the Sisters ever say why they chose Purgatorio for their House?”

“Nah, I don’t think anybody had the nerve to ask them. Sister Ernestine is about six feet tall and built like a linebacker. She’s real no nonsense.” Vin joked all the way down the stairs, naming the other sisters and describing them. He had a sense of humor that rarely surfaced during the serious hours of ATF business.

After re-locking the car, we went down the street towards the shabby building with the freshly scrubbed windows. In the afternoon dusk, they gleamed amid the dusty glass of the other buildings that lined the street on both sides. If they did nothing else, I hoped the Sisters of Mercy would bring a little cleanliness and light into the lives of the inhabitants of Purgatorio.

The smell of mildew, which I’d been expecting, was overpowered by the smell of disinfectant. Clothes hanging on old metal hangers surrounded us on circular displays, slightly the worse for wear. One had a distinct tilt to it and I made a mental note to avoid that one or prepare myself to fix it. Vin greeted one of the black clad nuns behind the counter and I listened in while I took a look through the racks.

They were discussing some game that was going to be played in the playground and Vin was promising to come and help out. I found two pairs of jeans that were slightly tattered but substantially in one piece. The worn spot in the left knee would widen into a respectable hole if I worked on it. Some work shirts in heavy denim that had been washed until threadbare completed my ensemble. I chose a green hooded sweatshirt to play up my eyes.

Not quite a substitute for my scarf but safer if there was a chance of bloodletting. I was feeling quite protective of Vin and rather annoyed at the drug smuggling Mr. Munson. It wasn’t so much chance as choice and I intended it to be mine. I’d stop at a K-mart and pick up some cotton boxers. If I washed them several times and made sure I put in some softener, they would be adequate if not comfortable.

Edward Stanton wouldn’t know silk boxers from a hole in the ground. The sacrifices I make for my art. I joined Vin at the back counter and paid for my selections with one-dollar bills. The good sister smiled and thanked me sweetly while putting my new clothes into a recycled plastic bag. Vin nodded approvingly at me and I left the place with relief.

The smell had been overwhelming and I breathed in the cold air with a sense of relief. There weren’t many cars in this part of town and the lack of pollutants in the air was like a breath of spring. Vin was quiet while we walked back to his building and I gave him the courtesy of respecting his silence. He was still struggling with something and I had a good idea what it was.

But I definitely wasn’t the person who could help answer his questions and coward that I am, I was hoping to get away before he could corner me. Alas, it was not to be. On the corner of the street within half a block of safety, he stopped and trained those beautiful blue eyes on me.

“Ezra, I’d be real grateful if you’d have dinner with me tonight. I got some questions that kind of have me puzzled.” The entreating look made me capitulate without a whimper.

“Certainly, Vin. Lead the way.” I returned his smile and mentally gave myself a shake. I would keep it friendly and open but general . . . extremely general. At least, that’s what I told myself while I climbed the stairs behind the tightest, most beautiful ass in Denver.

Control, I told myself. Keep control.

********************   
Vin, part four  
***************** 

I was a little nervous but I’d gathered up my courage after a night of tossing and turning and decided that I was going to ask Ezra some questions. He was the one I needed to know about. Part of me realized that I would be changing our friendship but something deep inside of me had to know.

I’ve always gone with my gut instincts because they never lie to you. There’s a hidden core inside of everyone that keeps you alive and breathing. Some people call it intuition or their sixth sense, I just knew that I trusted it. Listening and following its advice had kept me alive my whole life and right now it was telling me to ask Ezra about his past. 

And it knew that his eyes were on me the whole way up the stairs.

I unlocked the door and wondered with a panicked thought about the contents of my fridge and cupboards. Did I have anything to cook for dinner? “Um, Ezra, is spaghetti okay with you?”

“I’ll let you know when I’ve seen the ingredients.” That rich voice had a hint of laughter in it and that relaxed me.

Leading the way into the tiny kitchen, I reached for the upper door only to watch it come off in my hand. Luckily, I caught it before it hit one of us. “Uh, well I can see I need to do a little work in here.” I could feel the red creeping up my neck but then Ezra’s hand covered mine and I forgot all about everything else.

“Might I suggest we call out for pizza?” His voice was so gentle and when I met his eyes, they were filled with laughter but not the hurtful kind. 

That relaxed me again. “They don’t deliver around here. You want we should walk over to the Beanery?”

“Ah . . . no, I don’t think so. About half a mile from here is a more than adequate restaurant that I think you might like?” He half-suggested as if afraid that I’d turn him down.

“Nothing fancy?” I didn’t want to have to get dressed up.

“I promise it’s a rather plain eatery that I must admit reminds me of my Grandmother’s cooking.” He explained a little hesitantly.

“Grandmother Eugenia? That means Southern cooking and I like that.” I took a guess and he smiled.

“Then let’s be off. I’m feeling a little peckish.” Ezra picked up his bag of old clothes and stopped. “I shall have to continue to wear your clothes if that’s all right?”

“Sure, Ezra, like I said, they look better on you then on me. If’n you want, you can wear them when you go undercover.”

“I appreciate that, Vin.” He nodded and led the way out of my apartment while I was still smiling about his use of my first name when we weren’t in public. 

Following him down the stairs, I found myself admiring his graceful walk and his posture. He reminded me of my mother and her insistence on standing up straight. I learned to slump early to keep out of the way of whatever authority had me in their line of sight. But I was part of a proud team now so I made myself a promise that I’d work on keeping my chin up and my shoulders back.

Getting in the Jag reminded me of the Jeep’s breakdown and I worried about what could be wrong with her. She’d been fine that morning and the new spark plugs had seemed to give her some pep. Maybe the damp had crept in? I noticed that fog was beginning to curl around the lampposts that were still working. 

“Is there perhaps something that I can help you with . . . Vin?” The slight hesitation at my name told me that he was struggling with what he probably thought of as informality.

“Sorry, Ezra, I was thinking about Betsy.” I looked at him and saw his jaw clench. “The new spark plugs were working this morning so why wouldn’t she start tonight?”

He pulled the Jag to the curb about fifty yards down from a brightly-lit restaurant before turning to me. “You’ve named your Jeep . . . Betsy?”

“Sure, doesn’t the Jag have a name?” I wondered what was going through his mind while his eyes warmed from their normal shuttered state.

“I must admit that there are times when I’ve called him a name or two,” his smile was beautiful. “But no, I have no official name for him although it is an intriguing thought.”

“When this case is over, we can get together and see what name would work for him. It’s important to name something that works so hard for you.” I hoped he didn’t think I was being silly but I had strong feelings about this. Kind of a hold over from the days of the old West when your horse had a name, I was pretty sure that a car was the same.

“Very well, we shall name him when I return. I’ll be thinking of some names while I’m undercover. Does the restaurant look all right to you?” He spoke kind of shyly and I nodded vigorously.

“Sure does, Ezra, it looks real clean and bright. I’m kind of hungry.”

“Then let us disembark from my trusty steed and partake of a hearty meal.” He opened his door and got out while I sat there and watched. His coat was too good to take on this assignment and I wondered if he had a jacket. Maybe a black leather jacket to go with his dark hair.

“Vin, something wrong?” He’d bent over to look back in the car and I realized that I was mooning over the thought of him in leather.

I scrambled out of my door, blushing all the way. “Sorry, Ezra, I was thinking about your coat and all.”

“I see,” his eyes danced a little, the way they did when someone amused him. “Never fear, Vin, I have a very scruffy leather jacket that will replace my nice camel hair coat for this charade.”

We walked side by side down the sidewalk to the restaurant. I looked around the big square room at the tables full of people eating and liked what I saw. Everything from the oak chairs to the posters on the wall was clean and happy. The elderly black woman at the cash register smiled and came around to greet us.

“Land sakes, child, it’s been way too long since you came in for some of my cornbread.” To my amazement, she went up on her tippy-toes and kissed Ezra’s cheek. “You’re skinny as a rail and your friend is wasting away to skin and bone. We’ll have to feed you up before we let you go.”

“Miss Daisy, I promise that I will come in more frequently once my job lets up a little.” Ezra smiled down at her and kissed her hand. “And you are quite right, my friend is tragically thin and only your cooking will put some meat on his bones.”

I couldn’t help but smile at his description and she beamed at me. “Yes, indeed, child, we’ll make sure you leave here at least two pounds heavier then when you came. Right this way, children.”

She bustled between tables to a booth at the back of the restaurant, stopping once to coax a little boy into finishing his cornbread and once to chastise an older woman who was playing with her pasta instead of eating it. All the food that I saw on the way back to the table looked great and I was already beginning to think about what to order. Miss Daisy waited while we took off our coats and hung them on the hooks by the table then sat us down and handed us a couple of menus, looking expectantly between the two of us.

“Vin, do you mind if I order for us?” Ezra hadn’t even opened his menu.

“Sure, Ezra, you know what’s good here. I don’t reckon that Miss Daisy serves anything that I wouldn’t like.”

She patted my cheek and crooned ‘sweet child’ to me while Ezra smiled that open smile that I don’t get to see very often. “Very well, Miss Daisy, we’ll start with a basket of your cornbread with butter and honey. Then we’ll try the black bean soup and your fried chicken with all the fixings.”

“Good, good, that will put a little meat on your bones.” She patted both of us and left through the swinging doors to the kitchen.

“This place is real nice, Ezra. I didn’t see a name out front though.”

“It’s simply known as Daisy’s. She’s been here for over thirty years and she has yet to do any advertising.” He leaned back against the high oak paneling of the booth and I noticed how his eyes searched the room before coming back to me. 

I’d already done my reconnaissance and seen nobody that I needed to worry about. Funny how the whole team did that now instead of just a few of us. A little care ahead of time could save a world of hurt later. But I think Ezra and I do it so automatically because of our vulnerability to the past and our current job descriptions.

Miss Daisy was back with a basket of steaming cornbread, a little porcelain beehive and two small plates. “Now, I don’t want to see any leftovers here, boys. Enjoy yourselves.” Then she bustled away and Ezra pulled back the linen napkin to reveal the moist yellow bread.

We were too busy eating to say anything for the next few moments. The cornbread was just like my mother used to make and after I drizzled honey on it, I felt like nothing had ever tasted so good. I could hear myself humming in appreciation and Ezra’s chuckle brought my eyes over to his.

He was licking his lips and for a moment I froze, feeling a flash of heat in my stomach that spread throughout my whole body. Whoa! What was that? I dropped my eyes to the plate trying to understand what I was feeling. Buck had said that Ezra and I was both lusted after by the other teams of ATF members but I hadn’t expected to do any lusting of my own.

But then I’d never really looked at Ezra . . . at least not that way. I’d only felt that kind of heat once before and that was with Charlotte. It had been wrong then with her being married and all. And part of me thought that maybe this was wrong too. But the part that Buck and Chris had talked to was feeling real okay with the searing heat that warmed me from head to toe.

“Vin, is there something wrong with the cornbread?” Ezra’s voice broke into my thoughts and I looked at the pile of crumbs that had been my appetizer.

“Um, I got to thinking about something.” I dusted my hands off and picked up a spoon to scoop up the crumbs. They were too good to go to waste.

“Those questions that you had earlier?” Now it was his turn to draw patterns in the crumbs on his plate.

“Yeah, did Buck say anything to you at lunch about last night?” I’d seen them go off together and felt kind of funny.

He hesitated then those green eyes of his met mine. “He might have mentioned that he and our esteemed leader had once been more than friends. He said that friends make the best lovers.” His gaze went beyond me, maybe back in time. A hurtful time if the bleakness was any indication. “I’ve never experienced that so am unable to back up his assertion.” 

Never? I almost said it out loud but stopped myself in time. It didn’t look to me like he’d ever enjoyed his relationships and that was a shame. At least I’d liked all the parts of making love to Charlotte. And now I was beginning to wonder what it would be like to lie with a man.

“I think he’s right, Ezra although I ain’t ever felt that either. Charlotte was married and even though I didn’t know that at first, we weren’t ever really friends. Now, I got to admit that I’m a mite curious about what it’s like the other way around.”

His eyes came back to me and for some reason I thought I saw fear there. “I have experienced both sides of the equation but am unable to help you with your curiosity. Neither of my . . . affairs lasted very long nor did they leave me feeling anything but . . . used.”

Suddenly I was madder than I’d ever been in my life. How could somebody ever take advantage of this man? How dare they hurt him? “That wasn’t your fault, Ezra. They must have been pretty stupid to treat you less then tenderly. ‘Cause I know that’s how you loved them.”

A little warmth came back into the tired eyes. “Thank you, Vin. I thought at the time that I was fulfilling my part but later events proved me wrong. And you know how much I hate being wrong.” His smile wasn’t the one I wanted, the one that made him look younger and more carefree. “But for the nonce, we’d better finish our cornbread or Miss Daisy will read us a lecture.”

“Can’t have that, Ezra, it’s too good to waste.” Just like you’re too good to waste, my friend. I dug in and happily finished another slab of cornbread. I wasn’t quite sure what had happened in the last few moments but I was real sure that I’d figure it out in time to surprise Ezra one of these days.

He nodded and went back to eating. I was kind of looking around for something to drink when Miss Daisy bustled up with two big glasses of iced tea. “Now, I poured the sweet tea for you two boys but if you want the northern kind I can bring you some.”

She was looking right at me so I knew that Ezra liked the sweet kind. It had been awhile since I’d had really good Southern tea so I just smiled and thanked her. She patted my shoulder and her sharp gaze saw the mess we’d made while we were talking. But she didn’t say anything just hared off to check on another customer. The tea was almost exactly the kind of tea my ma had given me when I graduated from breast milk.

Cold, sweet and strong. I closed my eyes to savor the taste, remembering the heat of a Texas noon and an impromptu picnic Ma and I had had in the back yard. Without opening my eyes, I shared that memory with Ezra. When I finished, I opened them in time to catch a real sad look cross his face. I’d met Maude and I was willing to bet that she’d never done anything that simple with her son.

“I think my Grandmother Eugenia would have enjoyed meeting your mother, Vin. I’m glad that you have such a happy memory of your time together.” He spoke softly and sat back to let Miss Daisy remove our basket and plates before setting down our small bowls of black bean soup.

It was so thick that I tried standing my spoon up in it and it did. Chuckling, I took my first taste and thought that nothing had ever tasted so good before. An echo of my chuckle came from Ezra’s side of the table and I looked up to find him watching me with a small smile on his face. He’d gotten over his bad memories and was enjoying my reaction, I thought hopefully.

Didn’t take us long at all to finish off the soup and Miss Daisy swooped down on us again just about the second we laid our spoons down. The basket of fried chicken was plunked right in the middle of the table and the bowl of creamy slaw joined it along with a bowl of pickled okra. Suddenly I was so hungry that I had to eat now.

I kept an eye on Ezra and his appetite seemed to have come back. The strong white teeth bit into one of the meaty chicken thighs and when his tongue came back out to lick his lips, my pants started getting tight for absolutely no reason what so ever. I had to quit watching him or disgrace myself right there at the table.

Everything was good and we kept eating until there was nothing left but bones. Miss Daisy beamed at us both and whisked away the dirty dishes before coming back with two slabs of some kind of pie with a big scoop of vanilla ice cream melting on top. She watched us while we took our first bite and the taste of boysenberry filled my mouth.

“Miss Daisy, this is pie fit for the very gods.” Ezra’s voice was a bit husky and I could only nod in agreement while I put the memory of that drawl into the new part of my mind that was named ‘Ezra’. She laughed and patted us both before leaving to coax some poor guy who hadn’t been able to finish his dinner.

We ate the pie real slow and I know that I was wishing the evening wouldn’t end. But eventually we finished the pie and drank our tea down to the ice cubes in the bottom of the glasses. He was turning his glass in those long graceful fingers of his with a kind of abstracted look on his face.

“Ezra, are you worried about Munson?”

He looked up quickly, his expression startled. “Why no, Vin, I’m not. He’s such a coward and a bully that it will be a positive delight to take him down. I was just . . . pondering the coming weeks of not being able to interact with the team.”

“We’re going to miss you, Ezra. And we’re going to be worrying about you too. I don’t like it when we’re apart instead of together. You got to promise that you’ll get a hold of us if there’s trouble.” I leaned a little closer and watched him carefully.

“I shall take every precaution, Vin. I promise.” He was struggling with something and I wondered if I knew what it was. “I have lived my life mostly alone.” He paused again then took a deep breath and brought his eyes to mine. “But over the last year I have come to . . . appreciate being part of a team. You have all become . . . friends and I shall . . . miss you. I mean, all of you.”

That warmth was back, the one that made me feel like taking a chance or two.

“I’m glad to hear it, Ezra. I think of you as a friend, too, and so do all the others in Team Seven. But if there’s even a hint of danger, I want you to call me. Vernon took something from me when he attacked me.” Now it was my turn to twirl my glass while I thought about what I wanted to say. “I don’t like being thought of as a no-account and that’s what he thought when he messed with my head.”

“Vin, I think there’s something you need to know about Vernon.” He interrupted me with a fleeting touch to my hand. “Do you remember Miss Clover talking about Michael, his cousin?”

I nodded, not sure what he meant.

“You and Michael look very much a alike. From my reading of the files, I think it very likely that Vernon loved his cousin very much but Michael never realized. So, all along he’s been searching for a substitute, some one to take the place of the man he could never have.” His eyes were real earnest and I thought about what he said.

A substitute. Somebody who kind of looked like Michael but couldn’t be no matter how much Vernon tried to pretend. That made sense to me and when I smiled, I could see Ezra relax and smile too.

“That does help, Ez’. I thought there was something wrong with me. That maybe I had led him on because I had let myself feel something that wasn’t right?” I knew I hadn’t said it right when his gaze dropped again. “But the only thing wrong was that I was the wrong man for him. You think maybe Michael knew that deep inside and that’s one of the reasons he took off?”

“Perhaps.” He shrugged that shrug that always made me think of a French lady who’d helped us on one of our cases. Real elegant-like, what Buck would call a Gaelic shrug. “That in combination with his rough tactics in sports and business may have been enough to send him running. My research on Michael shows a man with a strong penchant for doing good. He’s a man who believes in leaving the world a better place than he found it. I must admit that I admire him.”

“Yeah, he sounds like a nice guy.” Part of me took against that feeling of . . . jealousy? “It would be great if we could get him back here for Miss Clover.”

He smiled suddenly, just like the sun coming out on a cloudy day. “I must admit that I would not mind playing matchmaker for my favorite librarian. She is a true lady and deserves only the very best. Perhaps those ten years between them won’t matter so much now that she is 51 and he is soon to be 41.”

I chuckled. “That’s nothing when it comes to the heart, Ezra. Kind of like Miz Nettie and I when I ask her out to help me with shopping and the like, the years just don’t matter none at all.”

“Exactly, Vin.” His fingers fiddled with his silverware. “That reminds me of my secret admirer. I wonder what . . . she will do when I don’t turn up on Monday morning?”

I didn’t want to think about the person who had targeted Ezra but I could see that it worried him some. “We’ll keep trying to find out for you while you’re away. If’n you’re not there, maybe she’ll find someone else to play games with. Don’t you worry none. We’ll watch your back for you.”

He smiled again, the one that I’d been waiting for. “I have no fear that backup will not be there when I need it. And if there should be trouble then I shall immediately apprise the Team of it.”

“See that you do, Ezra. You know, we might want to think about heading home. There’s only four of us left.” I’d been watching without realizing it and the exodus of customers had finally caught my attention. The waitresses had been cleaning up as the people left and now there was only a young couple holding hands in the booth across the room and us two. “Miss Daisy would probably like our table back.”

“Goodness yes, look at the time.” Ezra looked at the elegant gold watch on his wrist and slid out of the booth to put on his coat. I did as well and we walked to the register where Miss Daisy was waiting with a smile.

“Now children, don’t let yourselves become strangers. I expect you back here when catfish season comes if not before.” She took our money and made change real quick. “And I want you to remember that I’m always here in case you need me.”

“We won’t forget, ma’am.” I shook her hand and felt the strength behind her grip. Somehow, I just knew that I’d found another friend.

Ezra and I were real quiet on the drive home. I wasn’t sure what I wanted to say but I felt anxious at the thought that it might be weeks before I saw him again. He pulled into the alley near the side door that I usually used. “Vin, I thank you for your company tonight. And I promise to return your clothes as soon as this charade is over.”

“Don’t you worry about the clothes, Ezra. Just take good care of yourself and keep your back to the wall at all times.” I unbuckled my seatbelt but didn’t get out yet. “When this case is over, can we sit down together and have another talk?”

He looked at me with that little tilt to his head that told me he was thinking real hard. “Yes, of course we can, Vin. Anything in particular?”

And that’s when I knew that I had to show him instead of talk to him. Words were his stock in trade, actions were mine. So, I leaned over and kissed him . . . right on those beautiful lips of his. He gasped, I think but I was too busy memorizing what he tasted like, the smell of his aftershave lotion and how his breath warmed me through and through.

I pulled away slowly. “Come back in one piece, Ezra.”

Then I got out of the Jag and hurried inside, half afraid that he might follow me and demand an explanation. But the engine purred a little louder before disappearing into the night and I relaxed. Shutting my door behind me and not even turning on any lights, I sat in the rocker to watch the night sky. The stars twinkled outside the frosty window and I wished on one the way I had when I was little. “Keep him safe, Star, and bring him home to me.”

********************


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ezra goes undercover.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Attempted rape of Ezra but the team gets there in time.

****************   
Ezra, part five  
**************** 

He kissed me.

Vin Tanner kissed me.

It still didn’t make any sense. One minute we’re talking and the next, Vin Tanner is kissing me. Me, Ezra Standish. Was it just concern over my upcoming role? Had he decided to experiment and thought I’d be safe? I got the Jag headed in the right direction and sped off down the road grappling with all the feeling that were tangled up inside of me.

His lips were soft.

Perhaps he’d just meant it in a friendly way, the way that Josiah hugged me sometimes or Buck clapped me on the back. Expansive gestures with a friendly intent? He was such a private man though, not given to making the grand gesture. 

He tasted a bit like vanilla.

Had I given my feelings away? Had he seen the one thing that I had wanted to hide from him? I stopped automatically for a red light and found myself shaking. I was in no shape to begin an assignment as tricky as this one would be but there was no time to fall apart. A good brandy and perhaps one of the sleeping pills that I hated to use would see me through this bizarre encounter.

The light, clean scent of herbs was still there in the car.

It would be awhile before I used the Jag again and if I were lucky, his scent would still be there when I returned. The rest of the trip home was spent on autopilot while I grappled with my surging emotions. Only Vin could make me so unsure about what I was feeling. He had slipped under my defenses and taken up position there with an ease that I would have bet couldn’t be done.

Except for him.

Except for his sweet nature, wicked sense of humor and beautiful soul. He was my opposite in every way and I was drawn to his bright spirit. But I’d only hurt him if I tried for any kind of relationship because I didn’t have any idea how to give myself so openly, the way he had tonight.

That wish didn’t have a hope. 

It just wasn’t in me. I’d been told that often enough that it must be true. And Vin . . . beautiful Vin must never be hurt. He’d lived such a hard life and he deserved only the very best when it came to relationships. I’d always thought that he and Chris would one day take their almost psychic bond to another level of intimacy. I watched for that, torturing myself with pictures of them together.

Joyfully making love. Not something I’d ever experienced or ever hoped to.

Parking the Jag in the garage, I leaned my forehead against the wheel and wished for the moon. But all too soon, I had my emotions under control and got out with my bag of old clothes and briefcase. The sooner I began to dress in my new persona, the sooner I’d be ready to take Mr. Vernon Munson down.

Arriving at my door, a package on the floor brought all my protective instincts to the fore. My admirer shouldn’t have known where I live. Going down on one knee, I carefully examined it and breathed a sigh of relief. It was Miss Clover’s handwriting so I scooped the brown padded envelope up and unlocked my door.

Laying everything down on the dining room table, I threw the clothes in the washer and added some old cotton boxers from the box under my bed. I rarely threw such things away since underwear was an important detail that amateurs always got wrong. Once the washer was humming, I picked up the package and opened the stapled end. A short letter fell out with a videotape.

_My dear Mr. Standish,_

_Please take great care with your assignment. Vernon Munson is a loathsome man and capable of infinite cruelty. I was of two minds about sharing this piece of my past but you might need a bit more psychological evidence. I would appreciate if you watched this tape but told no one else about it._

_Of course, if you need to, just ignore my request and go on to do the excellent job I know that you always do. I hadn’t watched it in some time but it is revealing in its own way. I hope it helps._

_My prayers are with you,  
Emma Clover_

I looked at the videotape and had a premonition what I was about to see. Loading it into my player, I turned the volume up a bit and settled in to watch. It was an amateurish home movie set in the back yard of a Tudor brick mansion only seen as background. Miss Clover was sitting in a rose arbor and laughing at the antics of the men and women in front of her. But she was the youthful 31 she’d told me of and there was 21 year old Michael in all his beauty. His voice was deep and filled with laughter while he directed the putting together of what had to be his birthday party.

The tape only lasted for 30 minutes but by the end, I had tears on my cheeks. So much life and love was packed into the time that I ached for my friend. I could see why she loved him. He was the epitome of light and laughter. He drew men and women to him with just his smile. But the caring concern he felt for his friends was also evident. At one point, he’d joined her in the arbor and slung an arm about her. The love was palpable and they had both glowed.

How unfair that an age difference should have separated them.

I rewound it and played it twice more, taking a break to put the clean clothes in the drier and find my old bomber jacket. Michael had a couple of habits that I practiced until they became a part of Edward’s persona. He tapped his chin with the forefinger of his left hand when he was thinking and when he was embarrassed, he stroked his eyebrow with the same finger to give himself time to think.

I was willing to bet that he still did. And that Vernon would remember them.

Memorizing the gestures while I packed, I made sure that every detail of my new persona was perfect before succumbing to the need for sleep. I didn’t want to take a chance on dreams so I took a sleeping pill with my nightly brandy. Standing in front of the windows to the south, I let myself have one more wallow in the memory of the evening with Vin.

The sound of his voice, the way he ate his cornbread, the gentle laughter of him – they all mixed together in my mind until I kicked off my shoes and pulled a blanket over me on the sofa. The pill brought blessed relief from the bittersweet thoughts and kept the dreams away.

***

I slipped into Vernon’s life easily and was soon a part of his circle. Every so often, I’d catch a glimpse of the man he’d been at sixteen when his older cousin had been an influence on him. But he’d coarsened almost beyond recognition save for that occasional gesture that reminded me of the videotaped birthday party.

He enjoyed my naiveté and the fictitious stories of my encounters with Michael. And the second time I brushed my eyebrow with downcast eyes, I heard him catch his breath. The hook had been set and soon I was his constant companion. Once a day, I made contact with the drop that I’d set up so the others would know that everything was proceeding according to plan.

But I was heartsick at some of the things I saw and heard. I had to pretend to succumb to his blandishments and begin to ‘loosen up’ as he so quaintly put it. But I liked Edward Stanton and it felt like a betrayal of everything Michael Munson stood for to allow his cousin to seduce me.

The drugs were the worst. I hated taking them because of the loss of control. So far, I had managed to keep from the cocaine but twice I’d allowed him to talk me into smoking a marijuana joint. That’s a rather gentle drug and it just gave the world a rosy glow before leaving me feeling melancholic. Nothing had ever given me the good buzz that a twelve-year old scotch did.

But Edward only enjoyed beer so that escape was denied me.

By the third week, I had almost a complete map of his organization and I felt that things were coming to a crisis point. Contacting the Team, I set up a meeting that would seem accidental and hopefully away from prying eyes. Some of Vernon’s set didn’t like me moving in on him and my path was rather thorny at that moment.

Sitting in the small clinic on the University campus, I awaited my ‘doctor’. When my name was called, I slipped into the room to find Buck waiting for me. I’d known that it couldn’t be Vin because of his prior history with Vernon but even so, I felt disappointed. “Mr. Wilmington, it is a pleasure to see you.”

“Thank god, Ezra. We were starting to think that you’d never call. We’ve missed you, especially Junior. He’s been moping ever since you left.” Buck’s hearty voice was suitably subdued.

And my traitorous heart leapt at that statement. But I beat it back down and went on with business. We didn’t have that much time to set up the rest of our mission. I gave him the documents I’d been compiling and his eyes widened when he saw the scope of Vernon’s organization. The Munson family had brains.

Too bad Vernon hadn’t used them to help people the way Michael had.

Buck was a little hesitant about my plan and I had to admit there was an element of risk involved but part of me wanted the chance to avenge Vin’s humiliation. My psyche was going to have to have a vacation when this case was over. Parts of me were beginning to fray at the edges. The dreams weren’t helping any. 

The ones with Vin and I at a shady pond wearing a minimum of clothing. The ones with moans and sighs and touches that awoke me in an alarmingly hard state.

I was beginning to hate the night and yearn for the damn sleeping pills. Some of my desperation must have come through because at long last, Buck agreed and set the time of our next meeting to finalize the plans. Events were moving more quickly now and I could feel that little spark that told me that this charade was nearing an end.

Thank God.

Ruthlessly, I put all thoughts aside of what would come after this case was finished. I refused to look that far ahead. Every day would be taken as it came. I couldn’t afford to screw up now. But I was tense and I knew it. That’s what comes from letting your emotions get the better of you, I told myself. Look how much better it would be if you could just turn them on and off like Maude did.

That thought brought back a little of the ice that I needed to numb the feelings that were so inappropriate. There was a party tonight and I firmly expected to be shown the last piece of Vernon’s organization. I was so sure of it that I threaded the wire into the hem of the University of California sweatshirt that was Vin’s. That bit of comfort, I couldn’t deny myself.

Every time I wore it, it felt like part of him close to me. It might be the closest I got to him and I wanted to make sure that I had it fixed into my very skin. He was my armor against the sometimes-seductive role I played. He’s so honest that the thought of him kept me honest.

Of course, I could never tell him that. I didn’t think he’d appreciate being my talisman against the dark. But he was and I had the suspicion that he always would be. How ironic that at the same age that Miss Clover had found the love of her life, I had found mine. And neither of us could have the one we wanted. 

The melancholy that usually struck after a case seemed to be creeping in early. I choked it off and made myself think only of what had to be done. I had the meeting with Buck at the student union to prepare for and a few weapons to secrete about my person. The flat knife that fit in the tongue of my left running shoe slid into place easily.

The heavy wire that could bind or cut went into the right side seam on my jeans. I’d be a trifle less bend-able but I’d never been much of a lounger anyway. Grandmother Eugenia hadn’t approved of a gentleman who slouched. Thinking of her lightened my spirits a bit and I pondered where to put the small derringer that she had bequeathed me.

“A gentleman always has a little something up his sleeve, dear.”

I could still her lovely Southern drawl and see her deadly precision with a gun. I’d never told Maude about my shooting lessons. That was Grandmother’s and my little secret. But Vernon was a very touchy-feely kind of man and he’d quickly notice an unaccustomed bulge. So, I left it at the bottom of my bag and hoped that I wouldn’t need it.

Seven o’clock saw me using the men’s room on the third floor of the student union. It was only a one-holer so it was usually empty. When I slipped inside, Buck was already there.

“We’re ready, Ezra. You wired?”

“I am as ready as I shall ever be, Mr. Wilmington. Is my backup in place?” I couldn’t help asking although I already knew the answer.

“Sure is and we’re ready to arrest a whole bunch of people. The DEA is practically panting at the thought of taking Munson down and so are the cops.” The feral look on the normally genial face told me something had happened.

“What aren’t you telling me?”

He frowned and sighed. “I knew that I couldn’t keep from telling you. They found one of the bodies that Chris was sure Munson had hidden. You know, one of the guys that looked liked Vin. We’ve got it under wraps for the moment but the news will break soon and we need to be on the closing side of the case. Judge Travis is getting antsy.”

“I will thank him to remember that I am doing the best I can, as quickly as I can.” I bit my tongue to keep from snapping at poor Buck. It wasn’t his fault that things were coming together so quickly.

“We know that, Ezra. Chris told him that you were working night and day to bring this to a close. You feeling all right?” That soft voice was full of concern and it warmed me most unexpectedly.

“I’m fine, Buck. Just a little tired of playing a part twenty-four hours a day. I’ll just wile away the rest of my time totaling up the overtime I’ve been working and what I’ll do with the proceeds.” I managed a smile and that seemed to satisfy him.

“We’ve missed the Friday night poker games with you, Ez’. You need to get back and keep us on our toes.” He clapped me on the back then hugged me close for a brief moment. “Go on so’s we can finish this case.”

I chuckled and left him, heading across campus to the other side where the old Munson mansion still stood. I’d been there several times and always I felt the presence of the ghosts of that day almost twenty years before when Michael had celebrated his 21st birthday so happily. It was a nice old house but sad. Briefly, I wondered if a place could have memories and whether any ghosts lived in what had once been a happy home.

Perhaps if we exorcised Vernon, Michael would come back and make the house live again. It was a nice thought and kept me walking briskly towards the brightly lit three-story building. The sounds of the raucous party could be heard two blocks away. Taking a deep breath, I put on a shy smile and went in to find my target.

He wasn’t hard to find. Vernon Munson stood head and shoulders over everyone else in the room. His booming laugh and expansive gestures drew everyone’s attention like a magnet. I slowly made my way to his small circle of intimate friends who were never very far from his side.

The latest in a string of blonde, green-eyed bimbos was held close to his side, one of his large hands cupping her breast. Her name was Trixie and supposedly she was a junior but I had my doubts about her academic credentials. Part of me thought she might be the insider that the DEA had planted but who hadn’t been able to get close enough. But I had never seen even a spark of intelligence in her big green eyes.

If she was DEA, she was damn good. And it certainly wasn’t her fault that she hadn’t succeeded. They hadn’t realized that a woman wasn’t needed, just a man. Vernon smiled when he saw me and drew me into his other arm. “Ed, I’m glad you could make it tonight. You’ve been studying too hard. I guarantee that we’ll relax you right into tomorrow.”

I hugged him back and chuckled. “You always say that, Vern. I’ve got that algebra test on Monday and I’m not doing very good at all. But I could sure use a beer.”

He laughed and took his arm away from Trixie to reach behind him. A cooler had several six packs of beer on ice and he plucked out one for me. It was domestic but then I was getting used to that. He even opened it for me, never letting me go. But when he reeled Trixie back in and whispered to her, I drank some of my beer and wondered why my alarm bells were ringing.

Her shrill laugh cut through my thoughts and Vernon was smirking when he looked back at me. “I’ve got something special for you tonight, Ed. I promise that you’re going to forget that algebra exists.”

His second-in-command, a blond by the name of Steve who was more of a bodyguard than anything else, laughed along with him and my instinct was to find a wall and put my back against it. But I just smiled and leaned into Vernon’s side a little more. He responded by hugging me tighter.

I hid my revulsion with the experience of a lifetime, smiling up at him and drinking some more beer. “That would be wonderful, I’m sick of studying.”

“Of course, you are, Ed. Now drink up, I’m way ahead of you.” He smiled down at me and his fingers on my upper arm rubbed me through the cotton shirt.

I finished the beer and accepted another one from Trixie who was eyeing me speculatively. I had the sinking feeling that Vernon had a threesome fantasy that he wanted to indulge. I didn’t want to be a part of that but I might not have the choice. Just then, a gentleman I’d never seen before came up to us and Vernon stiffened. “Derek, good of you to come. Steve, go and find some of that Scotch that my friend here likes.”

I was going through my mental Rolodex and finally found the name to go with the face. We’d never met but he was an import-export entrepreneur that had been investigated about five years back in Santa Cruz. I finally had my missing link but it was too soon to get away from this crowd. I just hoped that Buck was listening and had seen Derek Hudson enter the house.

The conversation was general but Vernon’s hands were flexing on the both of us and I could feel the bruises forming. I could just imagine what Trixie’s upper arm looked like. She usually wore long sleeves and it wasn’t because of the weather. I felt a twinge of sympathy for her and hoped that business would supersede Vern’s pleasure.

“Derek, where are my manners? Have you met Trixie Beecham and Ed Stanton?” Vern had relaxed and we both murmured our ‘how do you do’s’ to the slender man with the dark hair.

“It’s a pleasure, Trixie. And Ed, Vern’s told me so much about you.” White teeth gleamed at me and I smiled shyly at him.

Vern began a long involved conversation about my woes with math and Derek teased me about being too serious. Something was going on and I had the sinking feeling that I knew what it was. I was beginning to perspire profusely and the thinking part of my brain knew that something was wrong.

I hadn’t had a chance to check the beer but I was pretty sure that I’d been drugged.

And there was no way to get that message through to my listeners.

“Well now, Derek, I promised you something special tonight and I know you’re anxious to start.” He nodded at his bodyguard who’d returned with the dark whiskey for Derek. “Thanks, Steve, we’ll be back in a little while. Don’t let the party get boring.”

I stumbled a little when Vern dragged us away from the bright lights and noise. “Vern, I feel a little dizzy. Maybe I shouldn’t have drunk so much beer.”

“Nah, Ed, you’re just finally beginning to relax. And Trixie here is going to show you a good time. We’re going to loosen you up a little, kid.” 

Derek laughed and I felt a shiver go up my spine. Whatever the drug was, I was succumbing very quickly. There were halos around all the lights and my hearing came and went with rapidity. I could no longer really feel my hands or feet and Vern had to hold me up.

I was in deep trouble and felt a sick revulsion at the thought of being raped or raping anyone else.

“Vern, what’s happening?” I slurred my words, not at all on purpose. My tongue felt huge and clumsy in my mouth.

“Nothing you won’t enjoy, Ed. I’ll make very sure of that.” His voice seemed to come from far away and I recognized the door that he was steering us to. Steve opened it for us and Vern steered us inside. 

All I could see was the bed and when I fell face forward on the velvet spread, I prayed earnestly to a god I didn’t believe in. Vern’s hands stroked me, burning me through my jeans before he turned me over and ripped my pants apart with one strong tear. The air on my fevered skin felt cold and I tried to fight the drug but to no avail.

“Thanks for the Ecstasy, Derek. I’ve been waiting to see how your new blend works.” Vern’s voice came through loud and clear. I would have groaned if I’d been able but no such luck. “Trixie, honey, get his shirt off so you can start pleasuring him. Unless you want to go first, Derek?”

“I’ll just watch this time.” A cool hand trailed over my legs while Trixie’s fingernails scratched my chest.

I was trembling all over and it wasn’t from cold although I was completely naked now. All my weapons were in my clothes and my martial arts were useless since I no longer had control of my limbs. My cock however had no such reservations and I could feel it spring to life under Vern’s sucking.

Trixie was giggling now and shedding her clothes. “Gee, Vern honey, he’s sure pretty under all those old clothes. And real big too, this is going to be fun.”

“He is indeed, Trixie. But not as big as me, is he?” Vern was still squeezing my cock and the pleasure bordered on pain before I felt her settle on me. She moaned a little and my gaze watched in disbelief as she slid me inside of her while Derek squeezed her breasts and Vern gave her a hickey on the side of her neck.

She began riding me while I moaned at the exquisite sensations. It had been a very long time for me and the feelings were wonderful. Well, some of them were. When Vern slipped a hand under us and slid his fingers behind my balls and down to my crease, I knew what was coming. Shoving two of his meaty fingers in tore me and from what I could see of his cock, I wouldn’t survive his rape without massive internal injuries.

The blood letting had already started. I hoped that the Team was on their way.

*******************   
Vin, part six  
***************** 

The longer we waited the worse I felt. 

The DEA kept saying wait - wait but I knew something bad was happening to Ezra.

I could feel it in my heart.

When J.D. let out a whoop, he startled all of us. “Derek Hudson is an importer with a record. We got the last piece.

“Gee, Vern honey, he’s sure pretty under all those old clothes. And real big too, this is going to be fun.”

Her voice came through loud and clear. I was out of the surveillance van with Josiah right behind me. I could hear the DEA agent-in-charge swearing up a storm but there was no way that Ezra was going to get raped so he could get more evidence. The other two cars erupted agents and Chris was right at my side when we hit the back door and started upstairs.

The party was louder here, the heavy bass sending vibrations through the floor and up through my shoes. I took the stairs two at a time with my gun drawn. Chris and Josiah still on my heels. J.D. whispered loudly that it should be the third door on the left but I couldn’t spare a glance back to see where he was.

Chris tried the door handle gently but it was locked and he shot it off without hesitation. I kicked the door in so I was the first one through. All I wanted was to see Ezra safe but the bed seemed full of people obscuring my view. Buck surged around me and pulled a naked Vernon from the pile. I ignored his bellowing completely and watched Chris cuffing the dark haired man named Derek.

But the man I wanted had just appeared from under the buxom blonde who Josiah was chastising gently. Ezra was like a pale statue stretched out on the gaudy red cover. I quickly wrapped him up in the blanket but the sight of him was burned into my memory. The bruises showed vividly against his white skin and his eyes were dilated so badly that only a faint rim of green still showed. And his beautiful cock jutted straight out from his body like a great big flag. Trixie was right, he was good and big.

I gathered him close, rocking him gently and saying his name. I called for Nathan who appeared from nowhere, detouring around the brawl in the center of the room between Buck and Vernon. Buck was mopping the floor with the out of shape drug pusher but I was too concerned at Ezra’s continuous trembling to pay any attention.

“Damn, what else was in that devil’s brew?” Nathan was taking his vital signs. “His pulse is racing and his heartbeat is starting to skip beats, it’s beating so fast. Chris, find out what was in the drug.” A muffled ‘all right’ was his only answer.

“He’s still hard as a rock, Nathan. Ecstasy isn’t an aph-aphrodisiac, is it?” I stumbled on the big word but he was already shaking his head no.

“Probably added something fun like Viagra or one of the impotence drugs to his blend.” Nathan was still taking his pulse. “Where the hell is the ambulance? He’s going into shock.”

“Nathan, would it help if he . . . came?” I could hardly get the words out but something inside of me knew it might help slow him down.

The startled look told me he hadn’t thought of that and when he bared Ezra’s groin and gently palpitated his lower stomach, the tremors got worse. Ezra moaned and Nathan’s dark skin blushed. There was no way that I wanted his hands on my friend so I hissed at him, “Shield me, Nathan.”

He nodded once before standing and blocking the others view. Taking Ezra’s cock in my hand, I gripped him firmly and started to move. Hoping that the same friction I used on myself would feel good to him, I stroked him up and down until he burst and sprayed the corner of the cover with his seed. His entire body relaxed while I was still holding him and his eyed rolled back into his head.

“Nathan!” 

The big man whipped around and felt for Ezra’s pulse while I was wiping my hand on the cover and wishing I didn’t have to clean him off so quickly. I would have liked to hold him longer.

“Better, but still not good. Chris, where’s the ambulance?” 

“They’re coming up now. Both of you stay with Ezra while we wrap up this party. We’ll join you at the hospital. Don’t let him wake up alone.” Chris thankfully gave me permission to do what I would have done anyway.

Not going hadn’t been an option for me – I had to stay with him. The stretcher guys appeared then and all too soon, I had to let Ezra go so they could strap him in. Nathan went first and I stayed at Ezra’s head while they negotiated the tricky back stairs. Then we were in the ambulance, running the siren and heading full speed for Denver General.  
It still seemed like forever to me. Nathan explained things to the emergency room doctor while I simply stayed at Ezra’s side, ignoring the nurses and orderlies. I only had to show my badge once but the intern seemed intent on moving me and I wasn’t about to move.

All kinds of medical lingo flew around the small room where they took us. A technician drew blood from one arm while they were examining him from one side to the other. But when they turned him onto his side that’s when they found the blood. For one heart stopping moment, I was afraid that either Vernon or Derek had raped him because we’d been too long in coming to his rescue.

Nathan’s exclamation was shortly proceeded by a relieved headshake. “Looks like some anal tearing but not too bad. Hopefully, it was just fingers. Let’s take some swabs just in case.” 

Ezra was shaking again and one of them made some jeering comment about Ezra’s stamina. I growled a warning, at the same moment the ER doctor reprimanded the snickering intern, sending him from the room. I made a mental note to make sure that he didn’t have anything to do with Ezra’s care while he was here.

I saw Ezra’s eyes flutter open and I leaned over him, blocking his view of anybody but me. “Ezra, you’re in the hospital and the doctors are examining you. I hate to ask you but did Munson use anything in you?”

He nodded shakily and managed a whisper, “Fingers.”

Nathan sighed in relief and I smiled at Ezra, holding his cold hand with mine. “You’re safe now. I’m not leaving you. Just relax and let Nathan take care of you.”

He nodded again and squeezed my hand a little while I spoke real low and gentle-like. The doctors were doing something that hurt him and he bit his lip while I cast a steely look over his shoulder at the men working behind him. But Nathan shook his head slightly and I knew that they’d finished taking their samples.

Damn it, they shouldn’t have had to take anything. We should have been quicker. Better yet, Ezra shouldn’t have had to spend 22 days living with a low-life like Vernon Munson. It had been the longest three weeks of my life and I’d still managed to fail him when push came to shove.

“This analgesic cream will help with the pain. The anal fissures aren’t bad enough to have to suture. They’ll heal on their own. Don’t worry, Ezra, you’re going to be fine.” Nathan patted his shoulder and I saw Ezra’s eyes fill with tears while his tremors began to increase again.

“Can we get a blanket here? He’s cold.” I spoke to Nathan but one of the nurses was already there with a heated thermal blanket. She tenderly covered Ezra and I tucked it around his shoulders with a quiet ‘thank you’ to her. 

“We’ll be moving him soon to a private room on second floor for his overnight stay. Are you going to be going with him?” Her pretty brown eyes were busy checking me out but I just nodded and kept most of my attention on Ezra.  
We were always a puzzlement to the nurses and doctors when one of us got wounded. But most of them accepted our need to be with our team members. The few that didn’t understand were quickly removed. I hadn’t seen this one before but she’d either learn or be moving on pretty quick.

Nathan came back from his little confab with the ER doctor and moved to my side so Ezra could see him. “Hey, big guy, we’re moving you soon to another room. Either Vin or I will be with you at all times and the rest of the guys will be along shortly. You did good, Ezra. I’m sorry we didn’t get there earlier.”

He tried to smile but all the muscles weren’t working quite right yet. “Soon . . . enough.”

I wanted to scream out, ‘no it wasn’t’ but I just held onto his hand a little harder. Then the orderlies were back and we were moving down the hall, into the elevator and finally down another quiet hall to an empty room. They transferred him into the hospital bed and another nurse began to tuck him in but Nathan stopped her with a smile and sent her out.

“Vin, I hate to ask you but could you help him relieve himself again? The strain on his heart will be less if he comes.” Nathan wasn’t quite blushing but it was a near thing.

Of course, he didn’t know that it was no hardship at all for me to help Ezra. In fact, I wouldn’t have let him if he’d asked. “No problem, Nathan. Just keep guard for me outside the door?”

He nodded happily and slipped out while I rolled Ezra onto his side again. His eyes were ashamed and I couldn’t have that. “Ezra, please let me do this for you. I want to so bad that my hands are shaking but it’s not fair that you don’t get to choose who helps you.”

A little wrinkle appeared between his eyes and he almost stuttered when he answered me. “Y-y-you want t-t-to?”

I blushed from the neck up but met his eyes as bravely as I knew how. “Yep. I did some hard thinking while you were gone and I was hoping that you didn’t mind me kissing you. ‘Cause I surely want to kiss you again.”

“M-m-me?” The hopeless disbelief twisted my heart something fierce.

“Only and ever you, Ezra Standish.” And I leaned in and kissed him again. The faint taste of beer and blood couldn’t overpower the sweetness of him. My hand found his cock under the covers and when I grasped him, he gasped into my mouth.

He wasn’t the only one with a hard-on right then but I fisted him just hard enough for him to climax with a sigh. He passed out again and this time, I took my time and licked my hand free of his seed. It wasn’t a taste I’d ever known before but I surely did hope that I would be able to taste it again.

“That’s . . . that’s the m-m-most erotic thing, I’ve ever s-s-seen.” He seemed to be getting more of his speech back.

“You taste good everywhere, Ezra. ‘Course there’s parts I haven’t tasted yet but if you let me, I expect to enjoy them all.” I leaned in and kissed him again for the sheer joy of finally being able to.

Gently licking his lips, I waited for him to decide if he wanted me inside. He opened hesitantly but I took my time and slid my tongue in next to his for a little search mission of my own. He tasted just as good as I’d thought he would. Rubbing my tongue on the roof of his mouth had him groaning and I pulled back just far enough to check that it was a good groan and not a bad one.

“I think th-that you’re going t-to have to help me again.” He looked kind’a hopeful this time and I grinned at him before peeling back the blankets so I could see all of him.

“You’re beautiful, Ezra. Everywhere but ‘specially here. I ain’t seen many cocks but if I’d seen a million, I don’t reckon any of them would be this pretty.” I let one finger slide down his length and he twitched just like he had a life all his own. “You’re so warm and hard but soft at the same time. I like touching you but I think it’s time I tasted another part of you.”

He moaned softly when I dared to lick his flared crown. I wrapped a hand around his shaft to apply a little friction while I slowly mapped the soft skin of his crown and tasted the single tear he wept from the small slit. 

“You taste even better here. Kind’a like that pickled okra we had at Miss Daisy’s.” I teased him a little and surprised him into a small smile. “Don’t ever doubt that I want to do this, Ezra. You’re important to me and I aim to prove it over the next few decades.”

He was already wide-eyed and I melted at the hope that fought with disbelief in his gaze. “I promise you that we’ll have a long talk as soon as you get out of here. Are you okay with me tasting you?”

Nodding with a little jerk, he took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “More than . . . okay. Wanted it but knew . . . knew I couldn’t have . . . not you.”

“Yes, you can, Ezra. You can have any part of me that you want.” I promised him but knew I hadn’t yet convinced him. Right now though, he needed the relief that I could give him and I leaned in to suck him into my mouth.

He gasped and shook all over so I hurried up and gave him his release. He didn’t have much seed left but what there was tasted just fine to me. Licking him gently, I made sure none had escaped before covering him back up and waiting for him to wake up again. He opened his eyes in less than five minutes and I made sure that I was the first thing he saw.

“You’re real.”

I could have wept at the wonder in his voice and I know I had tears in my eyes when I smoothed back the dark hair that had fallen forward onto his forehead. “I’m real and so are you, Ezra. Don’t want to rush you or take advantage of you but I been falling in love with you for awhile now. Didn’t know it until Buck and Chris talked about what men loving men could be like.”

He shook his head, his eyes half-drooping with weariness and the drugs. “You c-could do a lot better, Vin. I’m n-no prize.”

“Don’t you talk like that, Ezra. I think you’re one of the best men I’ve ever known. And I know I ain’t no one that you might have ever considered but I hope you might take a chance.” I kept up the gentle stroking while his eyelids drifted lower and lower.

“Haven’t considered anyone else since I m-met you.” He sounded real hopeless but I leaned in and kissed him again, stopping his words with my lips.

“Hush now, Ezra. We’ll talk after you get some sleep. I’m not going anywhere and neither are you. If’n you just give me a chance, I think we can build something real solid between us.”

His eyes fluttered open again to gaze at me with what I was hoping was longing before closing again. His whisper was almost nonexistent but I still heard him. I think I’ll always hear him.

“Love you, Vin.”

I kept on brushing through his hair and felt his grip on my other hand loosen when he finally fell asleep. He was still too warm to my touch and his pulse raced under the soft skin at his throat, throbbing much too fast. But I had to think he was getting better because anything else was unacceptable.

The gentle knock on the door made me call out softly. Chris stuck his head around the door before coming in to join me at the bedside. “How is he?”

“Better, I think but we better have Nathan back in to see for sure. They find out what kind of drugs were in the beer?” I’d never felt so disinclined to investigate something in my whole career. I got a healthy curiosity but right now the only important thing was Ezra. For once, I was willing to let someone else do the work.

“They’re analyzing what’s left of that beer that he’d been drinking. He kept it in his hand all the way to the bedroom before dropping it. There was still some left and Nathan has it down in the lab.”

I chuckled, never stopping my stroking of Ezra’s soft hair. “Probably pestering the tech into letting him help.”

He joined me in quiet laughter. “I expect you’re right. Is this why you’ve been such a bear at work these last three weeks?”

“Yeah, I guess you could say so.” I spared him a glance and saw nothing but acceptance. That was a big relief because I respect his opinion a lot and I’d hate to go against him. But I would have if I’d had to. Ezra was too important to me. “I got to thinking after you and Buck showed me the other side of male loving. It’s always been Ezra since he joined the team. I just didn’t realize ‘how’ until Buck opened my eyes.”

He laughed again but it was a kind laugh. “That’s why he went into Murphy’s Adult Bookstore last week.”

I blushed. “Didn’t have the nerve to do it myself so Buck went in for me. And J.D. showed me some great Internet sites that had a whole lot of information in them.

He groaned and shook his head. “Not on government time, I hope.”

“Nope, I went over to Buck and J.D.’s to use their computer.” I had, too. I hated to appear ignorant and I needed to know how to make it good for Ezra since I was pretty sure that he hadn’t had it good before.

“It’s still a ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ policy in the Bureau. Just keep it low key and you’ll be fine. Does Ezra know you have plans?”

I couldn’t help the smile that crept out. “He knows.”

Chris chuckled again and turned to leave. “Josiah is champing at the bit so I’ll go ahead and send him in.”

“Thanks, Chris.” I watched him open the door. “For everything.”

“Anytime, Vin.” He smiled over his shoulder as Josiah came in and made his way over to the bed.

“How is he, Vin?” The big man hovered over Ezra like an anxious father.

“I’m fine, Josiah.” Ezra opened his eyes and gave him a little smile that lit up his face.

“Of course, you are, young man. The good Lord had you in his sight all the time, although I wish we mere mortals had kept a better look out.” Josiah patted his shoulder tenderly.

“You got there in t-time, Josiah. I’ll be f-fine once these drugs are out of my s-system.”

I could see what a strain he was still under. I kept a hold of his hand through their short conversation and Josiah patted my shoulder before he left.

“Take good care of him, Brother Vin. I think he needs some tender loving care while he heals.” And with that astounding statement, he smiled on us both and left.

“D-does everybody know?” The plaintive note in his voice made me want to smile but I just leaned in and kissed him instead. He opened to me immediately and his tongue hesitantly moved between my lips to touch mine.

I kept it short since the trembling was back. He was only half-hard when I checked and another knock on the door had me rearranging the covers before calling out for them to enter. And sure enough it was Buck and J.D. They both had to touch Ezra to make sure he was okay and when he asked about Vernon, Buck gave him the short version. They left after only a few moments and I asked them to watch the door for me.

This time he was fully hard and I took him back in my mouth while his hand touched my hair tentatively. I hummed to show my appreciation and heard him gasp. So I did it again and yet again while his hips tried to thrust into my mouth. His moans were music to my ears and I sucked harder while I tried to get a little more of him inside of me. The books had talked about relaxing the throat muscles but I don’t know if they meant that would work with someone of Ezra’s size.

Then again, I didn’t know if he was really all that big since I didn’t have much to compare him to. He was bigger than me but probably not all that much bigger. I was looking forward to our comparing ourselves. But then he was coming with a little cry that I wanted to hear again and again. I licked him clean and covered him up again while he panted to get in more oxygen.

“That was the most incredible thing I’ve ever felt, Vin. Thank you.” He was shy but determined in his praise and I leaned over to share his taste with him for a long moment.

“I’m getting real addicted to the way you taste, Ezra. I think I’m going to need it every day.” I was back to brushing his hair and he was all but purring like the old tomcat that Ma had fed every day when I was little. That was another good memory so I shared it with him while he tried to look affronted at being compared to a cat.

But I could see the smile he was trying to hide and I just kissed him again. I was serious about being addicted to his taste. Now, I knew why Buck was always talking about his ‘expert’ techniques. I might have to take some notes the next time he was spouting off. Another knock at the door told me that Nathan was probably back.

And I was right. More importantly, he and the hospital doctor had the analysis of the drug and the counteracting drug that would help ease it from Ezra’s system. They explained it in big words that went right over my head but that didn’t matter so long as they helped him. The doctor gave Ezra a shot in the rear end that brought a pained look to his face but he said nothing so I didn’t either.

Although, I couldn’t help but give the doctor a real close look that soon sent him scurrying from the room. Nathan just chuckled and told me to get a chair since Ezra would soon be asleep. He told us goodnight and that he’d see us in the morning. I pulled up a chair and watched Ezra lose the fight to stay awake.

“Sweet dreams, Ezra. I’ll be right here if you want me.” I brushed little kisses over his eyelids and down his nose.

“Always . . . want . . . you,” was all he managed before falling asleep but that was more than enough for me.

The battle for Ezra’s heart wasn’t over yet but I knew now that he would be willing to fight for me too. All I needed was a chance and I was going to make sure that I got it. The rest of the team looked like they would be right there to back both of us up and I was depending on them to help me keep the door open to Ezra’s heart. He had a lot of bad memories to let go and I intended to make sure that I helped him start believing in the future.

‘Cause the future I saw was looking brighter all the time.

I loved him and he loved me back. 

Buck was right – friends do make the best lovers.

*********************


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ezra wakes up to a whole new world.

***************   
Ezra, part seven  
*************** 

Something was lying on my arm and when I opened my eyes to see what it was, my memories caught up to my waking mind in a rush. Vin’s long hair was spread out like a silky fan across the hospital blanket that covered me. Quick images from the night before flew across my eyes but nothing could distract me from the sight of an unaware and sleep relaxed Vin.

He looked so very young and innocent.

But unless my memory played me false, he’d taken to oral sex with a man like a duck takes to water. Even though I knew that the drugs had played a big part in the nightmare I’d just experienced; I couldn’t help but think that his presence had lightened the dark. I never felt so out of control in my life but once he touched me, I had never felt so safe. Parts of the evening were hazy and painful but not the Vin-parts.

Never the Vin-moments.

He’d said he loved me and I was afraid that I might have slipped and told him of my feelings. Maybe I could blame it on the drugs?

“Morning, Ezra. You’re thinking again.” The husky voice told me that he’d caught me out and his blue eyes twinkled over at me. “Here’s a reminder of what we decided last night.”

And those warm lips were on mine again but even better than what I remembered. The tip of his tongue outlining my lips brought him the entrance he wanted and I shivered with the need to be closer to him. His early morning taste was even better than the night before.

I was definitely blaming this on the drugs.

His lips finally left mine and he leaned over me with mischief in his eyes. “I can tell that you’re feeling a mite concerned about my forward ways. But I got to tell you that I mean every word and I’m going to be telling you that I love you over and over, until you believe me.”

That was the most astounding declaration I’d ever heard and it left me speechless. He laughed delightedly and kissed me again. I told myself that it would be impolite to interrupt him and raised a hand to touch his hair. The long strands felt like silk to my fingers and he hummed a little, which reminded me of his inspired performance of the night before. No one had ever put my pleasure first and I was unsure of what to do about that.

He pulled just far enough away to press little kisses over my chin and down my throat. I had to say something but I didn’t know what. 

“Vin,” well, it was a start. And it brought his face up to look into mine. The eyes were serious and I hoped I wouldn’t stutter as I had last night. “It has been a stressful time for both of us and with my getting hurt, that only exacerbates the situation.”

“That’s true, Ezra but I still love you and unless you can look me right in the eye and deny that you love me, too,” he paused and gulped, “then I’m not stopping.”

And I couldn’t say it. 

I couldn’t lie to him about my feelings. I did love him and had for such a long time that I no longer wanted to deny it. “I . . . I love you too, Vin. Are you sure?”

His whole face lit up and he kissed me hard for a brief moment before pulling back. “I’m so sure that it doesn’t bother me that the rest of the team knows.”

I froze and my memory replayed the team’s brief visits. They did indeed know and seemed to be all right with it. And that was the second most amazing thing I’d ever known. “Yes . . . well, I seem to have missed a great deal while I was undercover.”

“Don’t worry about it, Ezra. I promise to tell you all about it.” His fingers stroked the side of my face and that felt so good that I was hard put to keep from purring. “But I need you to forgive us for letting it go so long last night. The DEA agents were so sure that more was coming that we were almost too late.”

“I never doubted that you would be there before it got too bad. I’m just sorry that you needed to . . . help me so often afterwards.” I could feel myself blushing and I never blushed.

“Well now there I’ve got to disagree with you, Ez’. I liked helping you and I’m looking forward to helping you again. ‘Course if you’d like to give me a . . . hand, now and then. I wouldn’t say no.” He was laughing at me but I felt too good to care.

“I shall endeavor to be as helpful as I know how.” I promised him solemnly.

He gripped my hand tightly. “We’re going to be all right, Ezra. You’ll see. I know it ain’t going to be real easy but so long as we both remember that we love each other, we’ll get through okay.”

“I have no experience with things going . . . okay.” I confessed and wondered why he grinned.

“Know that, Ez’, but I think that together we can make each other real happy. And I promise that I’ll work just as hard as I can.”

“I promise too, Vin.” I could hardly believe I was saying this but this could be my only chance to love him. “I will try very hard not to let you down.” 

“You couldn’t if you tried.” He looked at me with those gentle eyes of his and I could feel my heart melting completely. A knock on the door broke us apart and he called for them to enter.

A gray-haired nurse bustled through with a thermometer in one hand and a bedpan in the other. When I protested that I could get up to relieve myself, she glared at me and stuck the thermometer under my tongue. While taking my pulse, she eyed Vin with an unsure gaze until he smiled sweetly at her. That young man could charm the birds right off the trees, as my Grandmother Eugenia was wont to say.

The temp and heartbeat must have been all right because she gave me permission to get up and use the facilities if Vin would help me. He volunteered promptly and winked at me behind her back. She made a notation on the chart that hung at the end of my bed before bustling off and promising me breakfast in fifteen minutes. I could just imagine how ‘delicious’ that would be even if Vin hadn’t bet me in a quiet voice that Jello would be involved.

But then he was sliding his arms around me to steady me when I came upright. The room did a 360 on me and I held on tight until the world stopped revolving.

“I’ve got you, Ez’. Just hold on to me.” He rested his forehead against mine and I breathed him in like a fine bouquet.

“Be careful or I’ll hold on too tight.” I wanted him all right but I didn’t want to smother him.

“That’s just not possible, Ezra.” He kissed the end of my nose and slid me the rest of the way off the bed. “Besides, I’m going to be holding onto you, too. I reckon that we’ll find the right balance with a little practice.”

His words could be read on so many different levels that I found myself in the small bathroom before I realized that we were moving. He stood at my back and held the skimpy little gown up so I could relieve myself. It never even occurred to me to be self-conscious about such an intimate act because his nuzzling of my neck distracted me completely.

“Vin, are you planning on tasting every bit of skin I have?”

“Yep, I surely am, Ezra. You taste good everywhere.” He licked behind my right ear and I shuddered all the way down to my toes. Vin laughed delightedly and did it again. “I’m going to learn every single thing that makes you feel good and then I’m going to love you right into passing out again.”

I could feel his crotch pressed against my cheeks and the hardened member reminded me that while he’d already fulfilled his promise, I had yet to get to taste him. “I believe that it may be my turn to do some tasting of my own.”

Turning into his arms, I initiated a kiss for the first time while my arms slid around his slender waist to pull him closer. He moaned a little when his lips parted and sucked my tongue inside of his tasty mouth. Rubbing our tongues together was pure heaven while I tried to count his teeth slowly.

But a tap at the bathroom door brought us apart quickly. Vin was trying hard not to laugh and his lighthearted-ness must have been catching because I had to bite my tongue hard to keep from joining him. He reached over and flushed the toilet while I washed my hands. Then he reassured the nurse that we’d be right out.

I felt rather shaky and was rather glad to have his support on the way back to the bed. My heart seemed to be beating rather fast and I knew Vin had felt the difference because he eased me back into bed gently. I couldn’t stop watching him and it was almost unbelievable that I now had his permission. His hands were so tender when he tucked me under the sheets and blanket. 

“Breakfast, Ezra. You eat up and be real good so the doctor lets you out this morning. You got yourself a private nurse who’s itching to give you some of that tender, loving care that Josiah was talking about.” He raised the head of the bed a little while I investigated the covered tray on the rolling table.

“Well, perhaps I could persuade you to help me out?” I eyed the gelatinous mound of eggs next to the hard-as-nails toast with the little dish of frozen butter-substitute with a skeptical eye. “This looks rather unappetizing to put it bluntly.”

“You got that right, Ez’. But I guess I can help out a friend.” Those blue eyes twinkled at me and somehow I knew that I’d be eating every bite as long as he was the one wielding the fork.

The tasteless meal was soon consumed and rolled away from the bed while Vin brought the chair a little closer and leaned his arms on the bed covers. For once in my life, I felt no urge to talk. Somehow the miracle of Vin was suppressing my defensive barriers and giving me permission to be silent.

And this silence was more healing than any drugs the doctor could prescribe. His fingers stroked the back of my hand with calming warmth and I felt myself content to just lie there and soak up the peace he brought with him. I’d always know he was a very special man but the joy he brought to his work had now been extended to me and that was so overwhelming that I didn’t know what to do or say.

I had nothing with which to gift him back and that worry must have shown in my face because he leaned over and kissed me hard before pulling back just far enough to watch my eyes. “Ezra, I love you. Goin’ to keep saying that and showing you until you know it deep inside of your heart, the way that I know it in mine. I know that you’re a mite rusty in the loving department but I’m depending on you to show me what I need to know about making,” he blushed a little, “about making love with you.”

“I seem to remember something being said about Murphy’s Adult Bookstore?” I tried for a teasing tone and he grinned.

“Let’s just say that Buck’s a real good friend and found me a primer so’s I could do some studying. But those were just pictures and words, I need you to make them come alive for me.” 

Vin was serious and I found a lump in my throat that wouldn’t let any words out. But somehow, I swallowed hard and gripped his hand a little more tightly. “I won’t be a very good instructor, Vin. The only man I thought I loved showed me how he could take pleasure but not how to give it back. All I knew was pain and humiliation after he fucked me, called me frigid and left.”

“Son of a bitch!” Vin’s hissed words almost made my heart stop until I realized they weren’t directed at me. “You just tell me his name, Ezra, and I’ll make sure that he never hurts anyone else. How could he take your love and throw it away like that?”

And once again, I found myself speechless. Those stormy blue eyes were flashing lightning bolts and suddenly the past didn’t seem so terrible. His healing powers extended even there and I’d never felt so light before, as if some heavy weight had finally dropped away.

“Vin,” was all I could manage but he seemed to understand.

“Ezra, I promise that I’ll never hurt you like that. We’ll learn together how to make love to each other.” He kissed me tenderly then scattered kisses all over my face, interspersing them with little comments. “I love this dimple, Ez’. And your chin is just right. But I really love this spot that makes you shiver.”

And right on cue, I shivered all the way down to my toes when he licked behind my ear. He just chuckled and kept on moving down my throat to the hollow where he bathed me with his tongue, making me moan at the sensations. Then he pulled away with a smile.

“I can hear the doctor coming this way and at the moment your heart rate would keep you in here another day. So I want you to think about your Grandmother Eugenia’s garden on a hot, sunny afternoon . . .” his words were mesmerizing while he sent me back in time to the garden of my youth. By the time the doctor and interns arrived, my relaxation was complete and Vin was calmly sitting by the bed with his arms folded.

Their examination was thorough but everything checked out although the doctor did take the precaution of ordering another blood test to make sure the drugs were completely out of my system. Chris arrived in time to hear the verdict and the small suitcase that he brought was a welcome sight. He teased me gently about being hard on my clothes and I blushed crimson.

Vin just chuckled and told Chris to watch the door while he helped me dress. Our leader left meekly and I pondered the changing dynamics of the relationships of our team. “Vin, are you sure the others are all right with this?”

“Real sure, Ezra. Swing over this way so I can get your socks on.” He dropped a kiss on the top of my left foot and I felt it all the way up to my heart. “Your feet are cold, Ez’. They keep this place too damn cool.” He sent me a flirtatious look that warmed me all the way through. “I’ll do my best to warm you up once I get you home.”

“Oh, I’m sure that your best will be more than adequate. But since you spent the night here so uncomfortably in that hospital chair, perhaps I can do something to soothe away your aches?” I ventured into unknown territory and was rewarded with a glowing smile that took my breath away.

“I reckon that I might need you to . . . massage away an ache or two. If you wouldn’t mind?” The shy look up through his impossibly long eyelashes sent an urgent message to my groin.

“That sounds like something I could do, Vin. Of course, a long hot bath and some massage oil might help too.” 

He slid my boxers up my legs and urged me to lift up with a gentle caress that hardened me completely. “Why look, Ezra, that swelling is back. We wouldn’t want the doctor to see this and maybe keep you any longer so I guess I better take care of it.”

And with no further ado, he slid his hot, wet mouth around the crown of my cock while I looked down at him in shock. That tongue of his should be declared a lethal weapon and I shuddered under the raspy washing of my sensitive skin. It was a disgracefully short time before I was pulsing out my climax into his waiting mouth. I hadn’t come this often in a year or more and I wondered if I just might have to thank the despicable Mr. Munson for his choice of drugs.

“There now, I think you’ll fit inside these boxers,” he grinned up at me and again urged me up so he could slide them over my hips. “Now, the jeans, then we can get rid of that fetchin’ little nightshirt.”

I let him dress me completely and marveled at the tender caresses that he lavished on me with every button and zipper. I felt as if I was in some strange dream that just kept getting better and better. And the secret me, the one I kept hidden deep inside, decided that I liked it and maybe it was time to come out of the dark, cold place that had kept me safe all these years.

Or had it just kept me a solitary prisoner in my very own prison?

“Ezra, come on back to me.” Vin’s voice came faintly to me and I shook my head to clear away the clinging cobwebs that stuck to me.

“I’m sorry, Vin.” I didn’t want him to worry. “I promise not to be so inattentive.”

“That’s okay, Ez’. We kind’a been hurrying things along since last night and if’n we need to slow down, we can.” He smiled at me and I marveled at his insight.

“Not too much slower, my friend. I’m looking forward to holding you without any interruptions.” I sighed and rested my head on his shoulder. “May we go back to my apartment this time? That hovel I’ve been living in had inadequate bathing facilities.”

“You bet, Ezra. I’m looking forward to helping you wash all those hard to reach spots.” He grinned and flung an arm around my shoulders, urging me from the room. 

Chris was waiting for us, having already filled out the hospital paperwork. He informed us that we had the rest of the day off but would be expected in the next morning. The DEA was having conniptions but Chris grinned and told us that Josiah was baffling them with ease. There was never any love lost between our two agencies but Vin sounded positively gleeful at the thought of frustrating them.

It warmed my heart to see him so protective of me. As the elder, I was more used to looking out for my teammates than being looked after. I was enjoying the turnabout but also wondering what would happen when we did go into work. Would the others be so accepting when the euphoria of closing a case died away?

Chris packed us onto the bench seat of his big black truck with the little suitcase stuffed behind us. Vin sat in the middle and his warmth warmed me all along that side. It was such a relief to listen to them banter back and forth about some of the things that had gone on while I was undercover. The very normality of their stories began to relax me.

Life was good and if I tried not to think too far ahead, well that was probably just a protective impulse. I knew that Vin would never consciously hurt me. But I had no idea how to act as a partner and I feared hurting him because of my ignorance. I was back to praying again to a God in whom Josiah had such faith. 

He was an unknown God to me but perhaps the man I called friend would be willing to intercede for my sinful self.

We arrived at my apartment building and I looked up at the familiar façade with a sigh of relief. The one room apartment near the campus had been small, squalid and furnished with the rejects of a junk store. I got out with Vin right on my heels. Chris called to Vin to take the other suitcase that he’d packed for him. Then he told us to take care of each other and said good-bye.

I could hardly believe my ears. He really did accept us.

Vin urged me inside and we made our way into the lobby and up the elevator to the sixth floor. He had my keys and for a moment, I wondered how he’d gotten them. But once the door was shut behind us and his arms slid around me, I forgot all about such inconsequentials.

“Ezra, how about I make some of that tea you like while you start drawin’ our bath?” He asked me in a low whisper from that spot behind my ear.

Shivering, I nodded shakily. “Yes, I would enjoy that . . . Vin.” It still felt odd to be speaking his name so familiarly. “I’ll just turn up the heat a little, I turned it down since I wouldn’t be here.”

“Good idea, Ezra, I don’t want you to catch a cold.” He kissed me again and set me free. “Tea comin’ right up.”

I turned the thermostat up to 80 degrees so the hot air would start immediately. Wandering back through the rooms that still looked so empty of anything but the few pieces of furniture I’d collected, I couldn’t blank my thoughts. As much as I wanted to believe that Vin and I could be together, I looked around at my cold, sterile apartment and knew that it matched my heart.

Nothing in my life had prepared me for the warmth he brought with him and I was afraid that I was thawing. And what was left of me wouldn’t be good enough or satisfy him.

The bathroom was so cold that my teeth were chattering when I pulled out two white towels and laid them on the counter. The rational part of my mind was telling me that it was just a reaction to the odd drug cocktail that Munson had given me. But a part of me laughed with a jeer and told me ‘what else can you expect from a cold fish like you?’

I tried to fight it back, that cold depression that tried to overcome me after every mission. But it always felt as if I’d lost another piece of myself and I wondered if today would be the day that I lost the last little bit of humanity that was left to me. I shivered continuously and I could see my hand shaking when I reached in to turn on the hot water.

It ran cold for a long moment and I thought how appropriate that was but then Vin’s warmth was there and his arms slid around me. “Ezra, you’re freezing. Isn’t that water warming at all?”

“Takes a while,” was all I could manage through my chattering teeth. He held me close, searing me with heat everywhere he touched me.

“It will be all right, Ezra. I’ve got you.” His husky voice was so beautiful to me and finally the water turned hot and I pushed in the drain plug so the tub would start to fill. “Now, that’s more like it, Ez’. That’ll soon warm you up.”

I looked at him and opened my mouth to tell him that he shouldn’t risk catching the frost bite that my last lover had accused me of giving him, but he kissed me instead and I forgot all the warnings I should be giving him. He radiated the warmth of a hundred suns and I gave into the temptation to soak up just a little more of the love and caring he shone on me.

“Oh, Ezra, I do love you.” He smiled at me with such a wondering look that I wanted to cry out that I didn’t deserve it. “Now, let me get you undressed so’s we can warm you up some.” A whistle pierced the air and he jumped up, “Oops! Let me get the teakettle and I’ll bring the tea in here. If’n we surround you with hot water and put some inside of you, that should do the trick.”

I managed a laugh and he darted from the room with the grace of quicksilver. I started unbuttoning my shirt, remembering how he’d buttoned each one with a kiss. Turning my mind off, I concentrated on removing my clothes. The water was half way up the side of my oversized tub and I poured a little of the scented oil I kept nearby into the steaming water.

Magnolias were among the flowering shrubs that Grandmother Eugenia had grown in her garden and I’d always been fond of their scent. I hoped that Vin would be too. I had just finished removing my boxers when Vin toed the door open and came in with one of my trays filled with teapot and cups. He was biting his lip and concentrating on not spilling anything.

If it was possible, I fell even deeper in love at that moment. When he looked up and saw me standing by the tub, he froze and I wondered what was wrong.

“You’re so beautiful, Ezra, like one of those famous statues in a museum.” He shook his head and set the tray down on the far end of the tub where two plants set. “I’m going to taste every square inch of skin and then I’m going to hold you so close that we won’t know where one starts and the other ends.”

He caressed my face and I ducked my head with a blush before beginning to unbutton his shirt. I would return his kindness with as much care as I was capable of. “I believe I will enjoy that, Vin. And now it is my turn to touch and taste you.”

*****************   
Vin, part eight  
***************** 

I could see he was real skittish but when his shaking fingers began to unbutton me, I knew that he was going to try. I was still mad as hell at the stupid man who’d called him frigid and walked away from him. I could tell that Ezra was spooked by my declarations. But he liked them too. I had the feeling that I had my work cut out for me in gentling my friend.

But Ezra was worth every moment of effort that I could devote to him.

I knew he didn’t believe me when I called him beautiful but he surely was. At the moment though he was shivering as if it was freezing. It had to be the last of those damn drugs that Munson had tricked him into taking. I wasn’t much for tea drinking but I knew that Ezra loved his tea so I’d enjoy it for his sake.

“You are the beautiful one, Vin.” He’d finished unbuttoning me and I let the shirt slip from my shoulders while he touched me hesitantly as if he couldn’t believe he was allowed to. I shook my head but he smiled real shy-like at me and undid my jeans before kneeling to slide them down my legs. I’d a been self-conscious but his look up at me was so full of amazement that I just reached out and stroked his hair to remind him that I was real.

The water was just six inches from the top of the sides when I leaned over and turned off the taps so we didn’t overflow. He’s so graceful when he moves but this time I could see the tremors rippling over his skin while he shivered in what felt like too warm air to me. Holding out my hand, I took his and helped him into the tub. The water was super-hot but he just sighed real quiet-like and sank down.

I joined him and for the first time realized just how big this tub really was. It was deep and wide with plenty of room for the two of us. The water came almost to the top of his shoulders and I watched him scoop up a double handful and pour it over his head with a look of bliss on his face. He was so beautiful with the beads of water catching on his eyelashes and his hair turning sleek with water.

Those big green eyes of his opened to find me watching him and he blushed just a bit. I smiled and drew him closer, moving my hands slowly over his skin. “You look even better without your clothes, Ezra. But I don’t want anyone else seeing you like this. I’m afraid that I’m going to a mite possessive. Is that okay?”

“Oh,” his gaze looked so bewildered that I just had to pull him all the way into my arms. 

I kind of scooted down so I could recline against the sloping back of the tub while he rested on my chest. He wasn’t as heavy on me as I thought he should be. “Ezra, did you lose some weight? You don’t hardly weigh anything at all.”

He smiled. “I always lose weight when I go undercover. I think that all my energy is devoted to staying in character and usually the food doesn’t taste very good. We could have dinner tonight at Daisy’s?”

“That sounds just about perfect, Ez’. You feeling any warmer?” I couldn’t help asking since I could feel his cock starting to harden against mine.

“Yes, thank you, I’m nice and toasty.” He wriggled just a bit and I knew he could feel me too because his eyes were glowing. “Speaking of toasty, I’m feeling a little hungry right now. Would you mind if I nibbled on a little something?”

“God, no!” I barely had time to say before his mouth latched onto one of my nipples and began sucking. I’d never felt anything like it before and I couldn’t help but moan. His head came up at once to check if it was a good-moan or a bad-groan. I trailed my fingers over his lips and smiled so’s he’d know to keep on suckling.

And he did, pretty soon switching over to the other one. Little bolts of lightning were darting through my whole body from just that innocent caress. And I don’t think my cock had ever been harder in my whole life. He wiggled again and grinned at me before sliding down between my legs. His hands brought my hips up so my cock broke the water.

“You’re even more beautiful here, Vin.” His gaze was as reverent as any one of the Sisters of Mercy in church. And when his mouth took me in, it felt like he was worshipping me. Charlotte had done this to me once and it had been good but somehow knowing that it was Ezra’s mouth pleasuring me made it a whole lot better.

He nibbled real gentle-like down to my balls before sliding his tongue all the way back up one side. Then he did it to the other side and it felt so good that I had to groan. Ezra checked me again then went back to nibbling his way around my cock, pausing every now and then to suck real hard on my crown. That rough tongue of his made me shudder all the way down to my toes.

I could feel my balls start to tighten and he must have too because he widened his mouth or something until I could feel him everywhere. The sight of him taking me all the way in took my breath away. I tried not to thrust up and floating in water made it even more difficult but he just hummed around me. The vibration shook me hard and I came into his throat while he swallowed around me.

My whole body jerked and jerked again but Ezra kept me safely from drowning. It felt like I’d never come so hard in my life. And the little shivers that kept racing over my skin felt just as good. If I hadn’t of been in hot water already, I think my skin would have boiled it for us.

I slipped free of his lips and he gently let my hips sink while he licked his lips. For some reason, I found that a real turn-on but my cock had decided to take a nap for the moment so’s I couldn’t do anything about it. He was still stroking my stomach while he hid his eyes from me and I wondered what he was thinking.

“Was it . . . all right?” He finally looked up and I immediately pulled him up into my arms for a hard hug.

“I’ve never felt anything like it, Ezra. I didn’t choke you, did I?” I wondered what he was thinking when he shook his head slightly and kissed the hollow of my throat. I’d never known that that was a hot spot for me but at the moment I needed to find out why he was being so quiet. “Would you think it real selfish of me if I wanted you to do that again on dry land?”

This glance was shy but determined and a hint of a smile flickered over his lips. “I think that could be arranged, Vin. You taste of ambrosia.”

I’d never heard of that before so I asked him what ambrosia was. He smiled a real smile for me and while we soaped each other, he told me stories about the ancient gods on Olympus. I listened with only half of my attention because the sight of soap bubbles sliding over his skin was mesmerizing. When his nipples peeked through the white suds, I knew that I’d have to taste them soon.

My gaze must have looked a mite lustful because his voice faltered and he blushed for me. “Um, Ezra, I think I see something that I need to taste. Would you mind if we changed places?”

He shook his head and soon I had him lying in front of me with those brown nipples of his hardening under my eyes. I rinsed him good then leaned in to lap at them with my tongue. His sigh was a contented one and I used my teeth just a little to nibble there over his heart. Ezra’s moan was the sweetest thing I’d ever heard and I could feel his skin ripple beneath my touch. 

My touch. I was the one who brought him this pleasure. Me and only me. Somehow, I knew that I was going to be a real possessive lover. I’d have to make sure that Ezra was okay with that but later. Right now, I had to take care of the beautiful cock that was rising in the hot water towards my chin.

His hands threaded through my hair with fingers that shook. If I live to be a hundred, I’ll not ever get used to the feeling of that hot hard cock pulsing out his seed for me. There wasn’t much left for me but enough to remind me of his salty taste. He was trembling all over again and I held him close while he calmed down. Those damn drugs had to still be in his system a bit and I probably needed to make sure he rested.

“Vin, thank you.” He kissed me real sweet-like and I returned the favor. It was odd to taste him and me at the same time but I was hoping that I’d get used to it. “I think I need to get out of the tub now.”

I nodded and knelt up so’s I could stand to help him get out. But he was looking at me again and when he touched me gently, I swear my cock all but stood to attention even though I’d just come. “Ezra, you got the magic touch. Let’s get out of here before I come all over you.”

He laughed and accepted my hand up. “I would enjoy that, Vin but I was hoping that you’d want to come inside me.”

Now it was my turn to blush because I’d read about that in the books that Buck had got for me. It sounded pretty scary to me and I wasn’t sure that I wanted to try that yet. “I read about it, Ez’ but I don’t know if either of us is ready for that. I want the doctor to tell me that you’re okay first. You bled last night because of that Munson and I want to make sure that I don’t hurt you.”

He nodded and accepted my hand to steady him while we got out of the tub. “I shall endeavor to wait patiently, Vin.”

“That doesn’t mean that you can’t show me what it will feel like when you come inside of me.” I teased him gently and he froze while he was toweling himself. He looked as if he couldn’t believe what he’d heard and I pulled him into my arms, wondering what I had said to shock him. “Ezra?”

His eyes looked so bewildered when they met mine. “You . . . you want me . . . inside of you?”

I was going to gut the man who’d hurt him so.

Or stake him naked to an African anthill and spread honey over him. 

Better yet, I’d find him and send him into a high security prison right after telling the inmates that he liked to molest young boys.

But that was later, right now I had to make sure he understood me. “Of course I do, Ezra. I love you and I want to know what brings you pleasure. The books say that it feels real good when your pro . . . prostate gland is stimulated.”

“You want me . . . to . . .” he was having a real hard time saying it so I kissed him as tenderly as I knew how and he opened to me so we could taste each other. When we finally had to breathe, I hugged him close while his arms slid around my waist and hung on.

“Ezra, I promise that we’ll go slow. Real slow so’s we can enjoy every little bit of our lovemaking.” I whispered in his ear and felt him shiver against me.

“I love you, Vin. Are you sure?” His voice was real husky and low.

I’m never going to get used to hearing that and I hugged him tight. “I love you, too. And I’m just as sure as sure can be.” He nodded against my shoulder and I felt his tongue come out to taste my skin with a little lick. I chuckled and nibbled on the ear closest to me. “What say we take this party to bed for a nap? I want to wake up with you wrapped around me.”

I could feel his smile against my shoulder along with the yawn he tried to hide. We were mostly dry by now and I got us moving towards the bedroom that I’d seen once when we came to play poker and we’d thrown our coats on the bed. One of these days, I was going to ask him why he had so little furniture. But not now - not when his eyes were sleepy and content.

Pulling back the covers, I slid him between the cool sheets and told him to stay put while I went back for the tea tray. The doctor had said he needed to replace the fluids he’d lost and flush the drugs out so I was going to make sure that he did. Bringing it back to the bedside table, I poured us both a cup. He’d stuffed both pillows behind him so he was half sitting up and half reclining.

“You look like one of those gods you were telling me about.” I crawled in beside him before handing him his cup. “This is one of those bags that said it was non-caffeine so’s it won’t hurt you to drink it now.”

He sniffed once and smiled at me. “Mango is one of my favorites. Thank you, Vin.”

We drank our tea with the hands that weren’t holding on to each other. It was real cozy here under the light green cover that felt like goose down. Warm but not heavy. I could feel my own eyes want to close. Usually I can go without much sleep but with all the emotions of the night before and the uncomfortable chair in the hospital room, I was ready to catch forty winks.

When he finished his tea, I took both our cups and set them aside before drawing him down flat. He rolled towards me and I gathered him in close. I kissed him gently and he responded before tucking his head into that little spot between my neck and shoulder that must have been made just for him. He was asleep before he could take a deep breath and I wasn’t far behind him.

I don’t know what woke me but it was quite a bit later ‘cause the sun was coming through the windows on this side of the apartment. Ezra was still asleep and I watched him breathe. All the lines of worry were gone and he looked much younger than he did normally. I thought about what I knew about his past and wondered if he’d ever felt loved the way that I wanted to love him. Unconditionally.

Maybe his grandmother had? He had a lot of good memories of her from what he’d told me. But the once that Maude had blown through hadn’t been a very good visit. He’d developed a little tic in his temple and a permanent wrinkle between his eyes about five minutes after she arrived. I’d been real lucky to have the mother that I remembered even if I hadn’t had her for long.

I wondered what she might think of Ezra and if she’d be okay with me loving another man. Somehow, I thought she’d like him and welcome him to the family with open arms. He muttered something that I didn’t catch then he wiggled a little before starting awake and looking around him as if he didn’t know where he was.

But his eyes cleared when he saw me and we shared a smile before he leaned down to kiss me. He tasted just a bit like the mango tea and I thought that I might just get used to that taste. We cuddled together and it felt good to be lazy for once. Usually I’ve got a million things to do; play basketball with the neighborhood kids or help the Sisters or exercise the horses out at Chris’ ranch.

“Ezra, you ever been riding before?”

“I learned from my Grandmother Eugenia’s cousin.” He smiled at me and started placing little kisses down my throat and onto my chest. “He had . . . a palomino . . . who was very . . . gentle.” He gently bit each nipple before continuing down to my belly button. “She was a good . . . horse to learn on.” He lapped at the small navel and I shivered all over. 

“I was thinking that maybe this weekend we could go out to Chris’ ranch and exercise some of the horses.” I was having a hard time concentrating on my suggestion because he had slipped between my legs and was kissing the soft skin of my inner thighs.

“That would be fun . . . if the sun comes out . . . and the wind stops howling.” He was rolling my balls between his fingers real gentle-like and I was tense all over. “We can talk about it later, Vin, I can see that an afternoon snack is in order.”

And he was opening wide to suck me straight down his throat. I’m usually real quiet but it felt so good that I just had to moan. He flattened his tongue and flicked it against the underside of my cock while I quivered. He was still rolling my balls between his fingers but his other hand was underneath them and his finger was sliding down my skin to my entrance and back again.

It all felt good although I was a little afraid of what we’d talked about before. But he didn’t put it inside of me or anything, just rubbed the skin lightly. I could feel little tingles spread through my privates and I was moaning again when he slowly raised up to tease the crown and lick the little slit there. Then he was sliding me back in and the heat of his mouth almost destroyed me. But he was pressing something at the base of my cock and the urge to come went away a little.

He did it again and again until my hands were on his head and my hips were thrusting up a little to get deeper inside of that hot wet mouth that was pleasuring me so much. Then he swallowed around me and I let go and came . . . and came . . . and came. It felt like all my muscles had just died and gone to heaven. Ezra swallowed every seed as if he just couldn’t get enough of it.

But finally, he let me go and slid up beside me. My arms felt like lead weights had been attached but I got them around him and pulled him in close. He was smiling and he kissed my shoulder. “Thank you, Vin. I still think you taste like royal ambrosia. Food fit for the gods.”

“Well, I don’t know about that but I got to say that you taste better than Miss Daisy’s coleslaw.” I waggled my eyebrows at him and tried to look innocent but he could see right through me. He bit his lip but the laugh got out anyway. I just grinned while he laughed into my shoulder.

“Vin, you are an amazing man. Thank you.” He pressed his lips real tender-like against the soft skin under my jaw and it made me shiver.

“I thank God everyday for you, Ezra.” I kissed the soft hair on top of his head and breathed in the scent of him. Twenty years from now, I’d still be able to track him by his scent alone. There was just a hint of the magnolia oil that he put into the bath water and I thought that he was kind of like that shrub.

Ma had always said growing magnolias in Texas was a lot of hard work but when they blossomed, it was worth all the effort. Ezra was too, although I could see that some serious pruning of the bad memories in his past was coming up. I thought that maybe I wouldn’t share that idea with him just yet.

“I’ve never really believed in the fire and brimstone god of Grandmother Eugenia’s Baptist church.” His voice sounded kind of far away and I listened intently for another clue to what had shaped him into the man that he was now. “Josiah’s beliefs are much more palatable in our line of work. His god is one of love and caring and sometimes I let myself think of him. But my favorite deity is Kwan Yin, the goddess of mercy. She reminds me of my other grandmother who I only met three times in my life.”

“I been meaning to ask which grandmother Eugenia was, your mother’s mother or your father’s? And why didn’t you meet your other grandmother more often?”

“Eugenia is Maude’s mother. Grandmother Esther was my father’s mother. Their family wasn’t pleased when Maude landed Elijah Standish. I think even she was surprised at the extent of the opposition but since she was pregnant with me within a month of the wedding, his family accepted her with rather grim disapproval. When I was born, the christening was held at his family home in upstate New York. Maude says that Grandmother Esther even loaned her the christening dress that my father had worn when he was born.” 

I could see that something was bothering him and I didn’t know if I should ask more questions or back off and let him take his time. My curiosity was huge but I didn’t want to spook him. “Is that why you’re circumcised?”

He came back to me in a rush, a twinkle in his eye. “Indeed, it is, Vin. Maude told me once that I didn’t even cry when they snipped the skin away.”

Shuddering at the thought of a knife anywhere near his cock or mine, I was glad that my family hadn’t had the money for ‘extras’ as old Doc Easter called them. “Do I taste different because of the foreskin?”

“You taste like Vin, a little musky but like a fine wine I want to drink again and again.” He reassured me. “You keep yourself so clean that it’s a pleasure to taste you there.”

“Good, I don’t want to be the only one who likes it.” I hugged him close then reached for the tray on the bedside table. “Doctor said that you need to drink more fluid to replace all that you lost because of the drugs. Tea’s gone cold but just pretend that it’s supposed to be.”

He sat up gracefully and reached over me for the tray. I was just at the wrong angle to grab it but he set it down so’s we could both get to our cups. The tea was room temp but it still tasted good and I asked him how they got it to taste like mango. He knows so much that it’s like having a walking, talking encyclopedia by your side. 

We finished the pot of tea then cleaned up in the bathroom. It felt a lot warmer to me but he was still shivering every now and then so I left the thermostat alone. He’d let me know when it got too hot. I watched him shave his five o’clock shadow away. He’s even graceful doing something that ordinary. I didn’t usually have to shave more than once a day so I just watched every stroke.

His eyes met mine in the mirror and he smiled a little at my intent gaze. “Vin, I’m not that fascinating.”

“Yeah, you are, Ez’. I don’t think I ever watched another man shave before. You make it look real sexy.”

He blushed and almost cut himself. “I’ve never heard shaving called sexy before.”

“That’s ‘cause you don’t watch yourself, Ezra.” I shrugged and leaned against the marble-topped sink. “But then, I think you look sexy just walking across the room.”

He rinsed off the razor with downcast eyes and the remains of his blush still red on his cheeks. “I don’t believe I’ve ever had such a nice compliment, Vin. Thank you.”

“Shucks, Ez’, I’m just saying the truth. Chris and Buck said that you’re the most lusted-after man on our team.” I watched him pat his face dry and wondered why he suddenly smiled.

“Not quite correct, Vin. Of our team, you’re the one most highly desired.” Ezra leaned in to kiss my objection away and distracted me real good.

“How about we split the difference and be a little smug that none of them can have us?” I suggested when I got my breath back. He laughed out loud and I felt pleased as punch that I’d tickled his funny bone.

“I think that is an excellent idea, Vin. Now, I’m feeling a little hungry. Why don’t we get dressed and go to Daisy’s for an early dinner? If we have to be into work bright and early tomorrow morning,” he rolled his eyes at the thought, “then we should probably go to bed at a reasonable hour.”

“Yeah, Ez’, I think I’d enjoy taking you to bed real early.” I waggled my eyebrows again and he laughingly tugged me into the bedroom and his clothes closet.

We dressed pretty casual for him and kind of dressy for me. If we could just keep those compromises going in other parts of our relationship, we’d have that fifty years I was dreaming about. And although the other members of the team had often speculated on whether or not Ezra owned any jeans, I now knew for sure that he did. ‘Course, they were pretty fancy as jeans went and the long-sleeved Henley had a snazzy name on the label but other than that they were just fine.

He had a black leather short coat that made him look real sleek and dangerous. I must have had a kind of lustful look in my eyes because he blushed again and dropped his wallet into the outer pocket. Taking up his keys from the bowl on the table behind the love seat, he led the way out the door. Walking behind him, I watched that graceful walk of his.

“Ezra, I hope you don’t mind if I lust in my heart over the way you walk.” I asked him and watched the back of his neck turn red.

“No, Vin, you save it up for my delectation later tonight.” He sent me a real heated look over his shoulder and I licked my lips in anticipation.

Dessert was looking better and better.

******************


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ezra begins to feel hopeful. And some toys make an appearance.

********************   
Ezra, part nine  
******************** 

I awoke to the new day with a feeling of anticipation, not something that I ever remember doing before. But then, I’d never been so well loved before. Vin had spooned up behind me and his arms held me close to keep me from getting away. Of course, how was he to know that I never wanted to get away, never wanted him to let me go? Hope warred with common sense and for the first time, I wanted hope to win out.

“Morning, Ezra.” Vin’s voice was sleep roughened and when he nuzzled the back of my neck, it tickled. “I could get real used to waking up like this, my friend. Did you sleep all right?”

I turned in his arms so I could see him. “I’ve never slept so well. I too, would like to do this again. Perhaps you would oblige me by coming back here after work?”

His smile could charm the birds from the trees. “Sure enough, Ez’, I’d like that. ‘Course I need to detour by my place and pick up some clothes.”

“Good, did you ever figure out why Betsy didn’t start?” I could still feel the relief when he’d explained that it wasn’t a woman but a car he was worried about.

“Now there you go, it was the damnedest thing, Ezra. She started up right away the next day when Buck came with me to see what was wrong.” He grinned ruefully. “He like to teased me about that for a week. And she’s started every day since. I guess there’s just no accounting for cars.”

Something was trying to get through to me about that whole episode but I was distracted by Vin leaning in to kiss me. All of my higher brain functions went away when he did that and all I could feel was his warmth. I hoped that I never became blasé about his kisses or indeed, about him. Once again, I was hoping rather than thinking, something he’d brought into my life and the cold stone that had been my heart.

“Ezra, what you thinking about so hard?” His warm fingers were caressing my cheek and his eyes looked a little concerned.

So I tried to smile and give him the truth that he deserved. “I’m a little worried that I can’t love you the way you deserve. I’ve had no practice in considering another before myself.”

“Well, I don’t have much experience myself, Ezra.” He kissed me gently before pulling back a little. “Guess we should learn together how to take care of each other. I’m willing if you are.”

“Oh, I’m willing, Vin, just not sure how to go about it.” I confessed and he kissed me again.

“We’ll learn as we go, Ez’. Now, how about we take a shower together so’s we can get ready for work. There’s a stack of paperwork with our names on it back at the office.” He let me go and rolled out of bed, stretching that magnificent body so hard that I heard joints pop. “C’mon, Ezra, out of bed so’s I can wash that beautiful body of yours.”

Well, who was I to say him nay? I rolled out and took his outstretched hand. He was a very tactile lover and I was enjoying the freedom of touching him too. The shower unit in my bathroom was large enough for two and I was looking forward to sharing it with Vin. He’s like a sleek seal when he’s wet and I still wanted to lick his body from his toes up to his elven-like ears.

If I was lucky, I’d have the time to do so. He was like a large child with the soap under the hot water and he gave me a little of my childhood back to me with his antics. We emerged squeaky clean and he dressed in the jeans he’d worn the day before. I loaned him a blue shirt that had never looked that good on me. A black leather vest completed his ensemble and made him look a little dangerous.

He asked me to wear my green cotton sweater and pouted when I told him that it was too casual for work. So I gave in and wore it with a navy blue turtleneck underneath for some added heat. For some reason, I couldn’t seem to stay warm. I know that it worried Vin but I was sure that it would pass sooner rather than later. A navy silk blazer with matching pants and I looked like myself again.

I hadn’t been up this early in years and when he enthusiastically recommended breakfast on the way to work, I agreed. But then I would have agreed to almost anything he wanted, for I found that pleasing him pleased me too. Besotted was the very least of what I was at the moment. But I had been for a year and now I could finally show it to him. That was incredibly freeing and I pondered that while shrugging into my camel hair coat and wrapping my green scarf around my neck.

Vin watched me while I drove into the heart of downtown Denver. Every time I looked over, he was gazing at me with such a longing look that it was all I could do not to stop the car and pull him into my arms. I’d never been the object of such open affection before and I found that I liked it. When we parked in my usual spot, I let him lead me to a little café two buildings over from ours. It had a bit of a greasy spoon ambiance but the waitress knew Vin by name so I resigned myself to a new tradition.

Once we’d ordered, Vin went back to looking at me. “Ezra, I’m a mite worried about how we’re going to act together. I got this urge to touch you all the time like if I don’t hang onto you, you’ll disappear on me.”

“But I won’t, Vin. If you continue to want me then I shall be here. I can’t conceive of being anywhere else.” I owed him my honesty even though part of my mind told me that it was dangerous to trust him so much.

“I reckon I’ll always want you, Ez’. But I don’t want you to think that I’m taking all your time.” He turned the coffee cup around and around in his strong, capable hands. “We both are used to being alone and I don’t want to bore you.”

I shook my head ruefully at how alike we’d begun to think. “I was just thinking that I wouldn’t want to smother you with my unwanted attention. There’s nothing you could possibly bore me with unless . . .” I dared to tease him, “it was country music.”

“Hey, now!” He sat up indignantly. “Don’t go dissin’ my music. And if by smothering, you mean holding on real tight, then you’ve got nothing to worry about. I like it when you hold me close like you don’t ever want to let go.”

Dorie delivered our breakfasts just then and I watched in consternation while he poured half the container of syrup over his stack of blueberry pancakes. His sweet tooth was legendary among the team but this was the first time I’d met up with it at breakfast. My omelet was surprising light and fluffy and I revised my opinion of the café. The wheat toast was crisp, not soggy and they had a little pot of some of the best strawberry jam that I’d ever tasted.

The next few moments were spent in eating while things were hot and I enjoyed watching him eat. He concentrated on it the way he did everything else, with single-minded fervor. And I was the lucky man who had all that attention focused on me when we made love. I was thrice blessed with his love and I made myself a solemn vow that I would prove myself worthy of him.

“Ezra, you’re thinking deep thoughts again.” His voice broke into my musings and I realized that he was watching me instead of his pancakes. 

“Sorry, I was just thinking about how lucky I am that you want me.” I blushed and dropped my eyes to my omelet.

“Shoot, Ezra, I’m the lucky one.” He chuckled and I felt his foot touch mine beneath the table. “You are so far above me that I never dared hope that you’d look twice at me.”

“You must be joking, Vin?” I shook my head. “I’m the one who never dreamed that you’d ever want me. I fell in love with you the day we met. You were wearing that blue chambray shirt that matches the color of your eyes and all I could think was ‘how beautiful he is’.”

It was his turn to blush. “Way back then? Why didn’t you say something before this?”

“Vin, I have no history of successful relationships. I’m no prize and you were so completely heterosexual that I knew I had no chance.” I sighed a little, thinking about those lonely days. “I shall be forever grateful to my secret admirer for making Buck say something to you.”

“Hey, that’s right.” He sat up straight from his usual slouch. “We still don’t know who he or she is. But I guess you’re right, Ez’. If’n Buck and Chris hadn’t explained what kind of love two men could make, I’d have never realized what I was really feeling for you. That was kind of a surprise for me but I’m right glad that you felt the same way.”

“I always will, Vin.” I vowed myself to him and felt nothing but satisfaction that I finally could. What other changes would come to me, I wondered? Good or bad, I was determined to see this through.

“Me too, Ezra.” He smiled at me and went back to devouring his pancakes while I ate some more toast and wondered why the food wasn’t warming me up. I was certainly glad that I’d worn several layers.

We finished breakfast and paid Dorie, leaving her a slightly larger tip than was my usual want. She’d been attentive but not obtrusive and with our conversation, that was worth its weight in gold. Walking briskly back to the Federal Building, we were whisked up to the seventh floor via the elevator and I girded myself for greeting the rest of the team. I had a vague memory of them at the bust and in the hospital but this would be the first time that Vin and I greeted them as lovers.

And I admit to being rather frightened at what they would say or do. I didn’t want Vin to be hurt by loving me and I valued my place on the team more than I’d ever valued anything else. But when we walked through the door, all we got was a chorus of hello’s and a bellowed order to come into Larabee’s office after we’d hung up our coats.

Normality is a wonderful thing.

The DEA agent-in-charge, Mr. Winter, was sitting in our leader’s office and to call him impatient was a gross misnomer. He was practically vibrating with the urge to go over every little detail of my three weeks with Mr. Munson. I’d known this was coming and I agreed to go over it all but only if one of the team was with me and the tape player was running. 

He didn’t like the idea of his questions being on tape but if I’d learned anything in my undercover career, it was to have backup at all times. Anything less was too dangerous. Mr. Larabee already had the conference room set up and Josiah joined us immediately. I relaxed with him there and prepared to go back over my time as Edward Stanton. I’ve perfected a recall of events and conversations, which can spook the casual observer.

But when Mr. Winter questioned my recollections, Josiah explained to him that I first needed to go through the days in order before entertaining questions. He guided me through the first two weeks quickly but then as the links in the investigation grew stronger, each day had more detail to get down until we were going through that last day almost minute by minute.

We broke for a late lunch, eating in Mr. Larabee’s office without the DEA. Josiah was quiet and restful while I finished my soup and ate a few crackers. My appetite still wasn’t back to normal and probably wouldn’t be until I’d washed myself clean of the case. I’d already drunk a gallon of water but I was still thirsty. Just before going back to the conference room, Vin came in. He was like a breath of spring air to me and Josiah hastily left us alone, closing the door behind him.

The blinds were thankfully closed when Vin and I met in the middle of the office. His arms were strong around me and his lips took mine hard as if determined to imprint his very essence on me. I was only too glad to let him. When we finally had to breathe, I laid my head on his shoulder and took a deep gulp of Vin-flavored air.

“Seems like a week since I last held you. Didn’t think I could last much longer.” He murmured into my ear before licking behind my ear and making me shiver.

“I know exactly what you mean. Reliving the last three weeks makes me feel unclean and you’re the only one who can make the bad taste go away.” The honesty-urge seemed to be growing on me.

“None of that garbage can touch you, Ezra, because you’re better than Munson is . . . way better.” He insisted and pulled far enough away to look into my eyes. “Just remember I love you and we’re going home together.”

“I love you, too. Perhaps another scented bath will be in order once we leave work?” 

“You got yourself a deal, partner.” He grinned at me and kissed me again. This one was sweet and almost chaste in its tenderness.

I was growing addicted to his kisses, an addiction to which I would gladly succumb. We parted reluctantly when a knock came at the office door. He tidied my hair with his fingers and it was all I could do, not to lean into the soft caress. But the knock came again and it appeared that Mr. Larabee wanted his office back.

So, I left Vin and our leader together, rejoining Josiah and Mr. Winter in the conference room. The questions came thick and fast from the DEA and also Judge Travis’ lawyers who joined us about 3:00. It was well after six when we finally finished for the day. My energy was at rock bottom and my extremities felt frozen. In the office, the others were waiting, well past quitting time and their concern was palpable in their handling of me.

J. D. held my coat for me while Buck took my briefcase. Nathan checked my pulse and frowned a bit when I admitted that I was cold and had a headache. The team wanted to celebrate our victory but they agreed to postpone it until I was feeling better. He told Vin to make sure I stayed warm and took some Tylenol with my evening tea. We all walked down together to the car park and I handed Vin my keys to the Jag. I really didn’t feel up to driving in the latter end of rush hour traffic. He was worried about me, I could tell but he also loved the feel of all that power under his fingertips.

I settled back in the soft leather seat and turned my head so I could watch him drive. He looked like a race car driver with his leather clad hands caressing the steering wheel and his long hair spilling over his shoulder. I wanted to feel those silky strands against my skin again, almost as much as I wanted to rest in his arms.

We drove the whole distance without saying a word but the silence was a contented one and I reveled in his closeness. The whole car smelled of him and I breathed him in over and over. He parked in my assigned garage and gave me a quick look that nonetheless seemed better than an x-ray.

“We’re going to go upstairs, take a bath and have some soup for dinner. Then I’m going to take you to bed and hold you until we fall asleep. What do you think?”

I sighed in relief. “It sounds absolutely perfect, Vin. All my energy seems to have left.”

He nodded and got out, circling the car to open my door and help me from the low slung seat. I hated to admit it but I needed his strong arm when the garage seemed to swirl around me. I would have stumbled if he hadn’t kept hold of me. My reaction to this case seemed excessive but I decided that I could blame it on the drug cocktail that Munson had fed me.

I hate drugs of all kinds and these seemed to still be affecting me. I hoped that Nathan would soon have the blood tests back so we’d know what the hell was in that beer. I could feel myself leaning towards Vin and he gave me support while we journeyed up in the elevator to my floor. He got the door open and the blast of hot air was most welcome.

“Oops, I forgot to turn down the heat when we left this morning.” Vin headed for the thermostat then looked at me and hesitated. “It feels good to you, doesn’t it?”

Nodding, I took off my coat. “It’s the first time today that I’ve felt warm. But you’re right, we should probably turn it down. I dislike wasting energy.”

“It’s not wasting if you’re cold, Ezra. I’ll wait and turn it down once we’ve gone to bed.” He smiled at me and that warmed me more than any heated air. “Why don’t you get the bath started while I heat up some soup?”

I nodded again and headed for the bathroom to turn on the hot water. I undressed slowly, loathe to remove my clothing and feel the air against my skin. Moving back to the bedroom, I hung everything up then hurried back to the warmer bathroom. Pouring in the magnolia scented oil, I got in the tub and submerged myself with a sigh of relief. My skin was tingling all over and I wondered if that was a side effect of the drug. The headache was like a spike driven in above my right eye and I pressed my fingers against the spot as if that would relieve the tension.

“Ezra?” Vin’s worried voice reached me and I opened my eyes to momentarily see two of him. I blinked and shook my head but the halos around the lights were back. That hadn’t happened since the night I was drugged and I wondered what that meant.

“Vin, I’m seeing double.” I closed my eyes tight and pressed my fingers into them.

The sound of a cell phone being dialed caught my attention. “Nathan, Ezra is seeing double and his headache is a lot worse. Un-huh . . . yes . . . okay, I’ll expect you in a few minutes.”

I leaned my head against the cushioned backrest. “My skin is tingling all over and you’re right, the headache is much worse.”

His fingers stroked my temples and that felt so good that I hummed my appreciation to him. He kept it up with slow strokes and I could feel a little of the tension dissipate under his gentle handling. I was warming up too and the tingling was a minor nuisance that I soon forgot.

“Just relax, Ezra, relax and let me take care of you.” His soft murmur made me smile and I did indeed start to let go.

The doorbell ringing startled me back to the here and now. Vin got up and left to answer it, leaving me to wonder if I should get out of the tub or even if I could get out on my own. Kneeling up, I managed to slip over the side and onto the bath mat but the weakness had spread to my legs and all I could do was sit there and pull down a towel to cover myself.

“Ezra?” Vin’s voice was frightened and for once, I was glad to see Nathan pull out his medical equipment. 

“Okay, Ezra, now just relax and let me take a listen.” His hands were warm when he wrapped the blood pressure equipment around my upper arm. He was quick and I wondered what he thought of Vin’s hovering at my other side. “Well, that’s not very healthy for a man of your age. 90 over 60, no wonder you’re feeling a little weak. And your pulse is much too fast. Still cold?”

I nodded and Vin passed on the rest of my symptoms to him while I kept my eyes closed. The healer’s hands cradled my head and asked me to open them so he could check my pupils. I did so and I could see a worried expression on his face. Vin was practically vibrating with suppressed energy and I wanted to reassure him but didn’t have any energy of my own. The tingling was getting worse like a thousand ants crawling over my skin and the shivers were back.

“Vin, get him back in the tub so he’ll stay warm. I’m going to call the lab and see if they’ve finished analyzing his blood. Is there any tea ready?” Nathan helped Vin get me up and back in the blessedly hot water.

“Yeah, it’s brewing. Watch him so he doesn’t slide down and drown himself.” Vin’s tightly controlled voice broke through my enjoyment of the heat.

“Vin, I’ll be f-f-fine.” I cursed the stutter, knowing that instead of reassuring him I had just made the tension worse.

“Of course you will, Ezra.” Nathan’s voice was professionally soothing then he was talking to the hospital and I gave up listening.

Vin was back quickly and I soon had a steaming cup of mango tea to warm me up further. He held my free hand between both of his and I could feel his worry through his tight hold. The stabbing pain was getting worse and I suddenly had the urge to throw up.

“Vin, get the waste basket, please.” I said through gritted teeth and he barely had time to get it positioned before I was vomiting into it. There wasn’t much left inside of me but the mango tea definitely tasted bad coming back up. It would be a while before I’d be able to drink it again.

I was trembling all over and Vin was stroking the back of my neck while he asked Nathan to hurry up. I hated being such a burden to him but part of me was glad that I could lean on his strength. Then Nathan returned and he helped Vin get me back out of the hot water.

“We’re going to take you into the Wasserman Clinic, Ezra. You need an IV drip to replenish your electrolytes and counteract the lingering drugs. An overnight stay and you’ll be back to normal.” His tones were brisk while he toweled me off and Vin went to get my clothes. Calling to my lover, “Vin, something soft that won’t chafe his skin.”

He brought back an old pair of sweats that I hadn’t worn in a long time but they were warm and soft. I don’t remember too much of the trip to the clinic, just Vin holding me tight in the back of Nathan’s old Chevy. He stayed close while the staff settled me in and got the IV going. They didn’t even blink an eye when he said he was staying. I went to sleep holding his hand and hearing his voice softly telling me a story from his youth.

When I awoke, he was still there holding my hand. His eyes were tired but his smile when I told him that I felt better was bright. He kissed me gently and rubbed little circles on my hand with his thumb. The nurse who performed my early morning medical checks was a quiet woman with kind eyes who assured me that breakfast would be right there.

And this breakfast was a sight for sore eyes. Creamy oatmeal with brown sugar and whole wheat toast with just a little butter all went down and stayed down. The headache was gone and my skin felt normal again. When I told Vin that, he smiled happily and stole the last slice of toast out from under my nose.

Nathan and the doctor from the night before showed up soon after and we held a little conference on what was wrong and how to keep it from coming back. The blood test results were so much gobbledygook to me but I grasped enough to realize that it would be several days before I was completely back to normal. The migraine would probably come back if I didn’t take it easy so I was told to go home and sleep.

After making an appointment to return to the clinic in three days, I was released with a set of pills to help me stay relaxed. Nathan drove us back to my apartment and after dropping us off, went to the grocery store to get some soft foods that wouldn’t strain my system while I was healing. Vin put me to bed still in my sweat suit and thick socks. I only let go of his hand when Nathan came back. Not even the sounds of conversation outside the bedroom door could keep me awake after swallowing one of those pills.

I floated above the bed in a daze and only when Vin stripped down to his boxers and slid in beside me did I let go. If he was there, then I was safe. His gentle kiss sent me to sleep with a smile on my face. And all my dreams were bright.

*********************   
Vin, part ten  
***************** 

He liked to scared me to death when he got so sick so fast.

The next three days passed real slow but it was kind of a contented time all the same. Ezra spent a lot of time sleeping off the last of the drugs, but when he was awake, we talked. He liked hearing about when I was little and I liked his stories about his Grandmother Eugenia. I knew he was leaving out some things but then so was I. Some of my foster homes were pretty grim and I didn’t do much thinking on them.

But along with the memories, we were also exploring each other’s body. His was a wonder to me all clean lines and powerful shoulders. His suits tended to smooth out all his features but when I looked at him naked, all I could see was the strength of him. He confessed that he lifted weights when I asked him as if that was a fault instead of a plus.

He liked being touched but he still started when I slipped my arms around him. I could tell that his family wasn’t big on touching because of the wonder in his eyes when I leaned in and trailed a hand down his body. By the end of the third day, he was feeling better and our caresses began to heat up. I’ve always believed in tasting what I touched and Ezra tasted better than anything I’d ever tasted before.

Even his sweat was sweet and his seed was something that I wanted to taste again and again. But when he touched me, it was like no one had ever allowed him to take his time before. He was hesitant but when I encouraged him, he smiled and let his fingers do the walking. My nipples were sensitive and he loved to suck on them while I writhed beneath him.

In fact, the afternoon of the third day, he’d made me come just from that. He looked real pleased with himself and I held him close and thanked god that he was getting better. He’d scared me good with his nausea and blurred vision. Nathan tried to explain what the drug blend was but it didn’t make any sense to me or to Ezra. The drugs they gave him to counteract the effects had sent him right to sleep and kept him sleepy for the first two days.

But today, he’d decided not to take them and so far he was doing fine. I was watching him though and at the slightest hint that he was having a problem, he’d be taking his dose if I had to sit on him. Of course, that thought made me grin suddenly when I thought about sitting on him.

“That’s an evil smile if I ever saw one, Vin. What are you up to now?” His voice was lazy and content, just the way I liked to hear it.

Putting a shocked expression on my face, I leaned over him and kissed him gently before putting just enough space between us so I could watch him. “Well, you know I’ve been doing some reading? I was thinking that it might be time to have you . . . explain some of those things that have me a mite puzzled.”

He got serious real fast and even looked a little nervous. “I’ll do my best, Vin but I’m not very good at explaining something I’ve never done before.”

“Well, then we’ll just have to explain it to each other.” I leaned in and kissed him slowly while his hands slid over my shoulders and down my back, shifting us so I was resting on top of him. 

Our cocks nestled between us content for now to lie quietly together. His hands stroked my cheeks gently and I let my legs fall to either side of his hips. The first tentative caress down my crease made me shiver and he paused to make sure I was okay before brushing over my entrance and gently rubbing it.

“There’s a lot of nerve endings here, Vin, that’s why it’s so sensitive.” 

“It feels good, Ez’. I want to know more.” I reassured him and he rolled us over until he was on top of me.

“We’re going to go very slow and take our time, Vin. I don’t want to ever hurt you.” His voice was tense and I could tell that this really mattered to him.

“You aren’t going to hurt me, Ezra, any more than I’m going to hurt you. But I got to admit that I’m real curious as to why it feels good.” I smiled up at him and watched him relax a little. “If it didn’t then men wouldn’t keep on lovin’ each other.”

He finally smiled. “Indeed, Vin, I’m aware that it can feel good when the proper preparation is done.”

Reaching over to the bedside table, he snagged the bottle of massage oil that I’d used to give him a back-rub every night. I could feel the anticipation mounting while he coated his hands with the sweet smelling oil. Then he was smoothing my stomach muscles with long languid strokes that made me feel like stretching all over. He smiled down at me from between my legs and began to trail his fingers down my inner thighs.

That felt real good too and when he leaned over to suck my cock into his hot, wet mouth I just had to thrust up a little. And that’s when he rubbed that finger over my entrance again but this time he slipped inside just a bit. I tensed then relaxed so I didn’t spook him. It felt full even though it was just his finger and it felt a little funny when he eased it in further then out again. Concentrating was hard with his tongue wrapped around me but I needed to move again ‘cause I had a restless feeling inside of me.

His thumb was rubbing the skin behind my balls and I was starting to shiver again when his finger went as deep as it could go and I felt a flash of . . . something that really startled me. “Ezra, what is that?”

He slowly let me slip from his lips, leaving me all wet and shiny. “That’s the prostate gland. Did it feel all right?”

“Felt good but real different. Do it again.” I could still feel his finger inside of me although he hadn’t moved since he let me go.

“Your wish is my command.” He smiled tenderly and went back to sucking on my cock while his finger twisted inside of me. 

The flash-fire was back and I moved my hips a little, trying to get the feeling back again. But he was pulling his finger out and I moaned in disappointment only to feel him wiggle two fingers inside me. That felt really full and I squirmed at the sensation.

“Too much?” He’d let me go again and was watching me like a hawk.

I blushed. “It feels like I’ve got to . . . um, you know . . . go.”

He chuckled. “But is there any pain or discomfort?”

“Nope, just really full and . . . oh!” He’d moved them deeper and I felt a fire start deep inside of me. “More. Please more.”

He began an odd scissoring motion that brushed against that gland every once in a while and I was moaning pretty much non-stop when he deep throated me. The dual sensations were too much and I felt my cock burst while he was sucking me. His fingers stopped moving while I shuddered in release and when he slowly pulled them out, I felt like protesting.

Except that there was a little soreness and it felt good to not have that urge to push.

“All right, Vin?” He was holding me close and watching me even closer.

“I’m just fine, Ezra. It feels real odd but kind of good at the same time. I think we’re going to have to practice it some more.” I grinned at him and he relaxed enough to kiss me, sharing my taste with me.

We kissed for a long time until I felt him start to yawn. I pulled up the comforter and he snuggled close to me, falling asleep between one breath and the next. I held him and thought about what we’d just done and where we were going from here. Ezra was on sick leave while I was using up some comp time. Chris had taken it real good when I refused to leave Ezra alone. One of the team had stopped by once a day to check on us and make sure we had everything we needed.

I could tell that Ezra was used to suffering through things on his own and was a little taken aback by the pampering that we were showering him with. But he deserved all of that and more. I was determined to show him what a wonderful man he was and how he should be cherished. I think some of it was getting through and so long as we took it slow, we’d be all right.

Flexing my ass muscles, I contemplated the small ache and what it would feel like when his cock was in there. I’d taken the time to compare us side by side and he was surely bigger than anybody else I’d ever seen. It wasn’t so much the length, since he was only an inch longer than me, as it was the thickness. When he was hard, he was a lot thicker than I was and I wondered if I’d ever be able to stretch enough to take him in.

If he hurt me, he’d just shrivel up and die. But if there was a way to stretch myself for him then I would do what ever it took. I needed to know what it was like to be so possessed by him. Maybe J. D. would have some websites where I could order something.

“What are you thinking so hard about?” His sleepy voice brought me back to the here and now.

“Just thinking.” I blushed a little and knew I’d have to tell him the truth, he always knew when someone was lying to him. “I’m going to need some stretching if you’re ever to come inside of me. Do you think that there are things that would help out there at some adult bookstore or website?”

He bit his lip and worried at it until I made him stop with my own lips. It was a short kiss but powerful and he seemed a little calmer when we were done. “There are indeed things that will help if you’re sure. I don’t have to ever come inside of you except with my fingers to stimulate your gland.”

“Nope, that ain’t an option, Ez’. I want to know everything about male loving or maybe it’s just Ezra-loving that I need to know about.”

Shaking his head, he contemplated my mouth for a long moment. “I have something that might help if you are very, very sure.”

I kissed him hard, once for every word. “I . . . am . . . very . . . very . . . sure.”

He nodded and let me go to roll to the side of the bed and the table where the green lamp sat. Opening the drawer, he pulled out some real odd shaped objects and put them on the bed between us. “These are just a few . . . toys that I find useful when it’s been a long time without sexual relief.”

Ezra was blushing and I knew what it had cost him to admit that to me. “I know just what you mean, Ez’. What’s this one?”

I had picked up a flesh colored kind of triangle shape with a big base and a ridged body that was about four inches long. He took the small bottle of lubricant and spread some on the ridges until it was real slick and shiny.

“It’s a plug to help stretch the anal channel and entrance. The flared base keeps it from going in too far while the ridges massage your inner passage.”

I held it and thought about wearing it inside of me. It was thicker than two fingers but no where near as thick as Ezra’s cock. The plastic wasn’t hard and brittle but soft and yielding. “Put it in me and let me see how it feels.”

He kissed me quickly before rolling me over onto my stomach. I splayed my legs for him and heard him catch his breath. “You look like a sleek mountain cat, all muscles and grace. Are you sure you want to try this now?”

I came up onto all fours and threw him the sexiest look I knew how over my shoulder. “I’m really sure that I want you to put that nice little plug inside of me so I can get ready for your nice big cock.”

He shivered all over and moved between my legs, leaning in to blow hot air against my hole. But what really amazed me was the feeling of something hot and wet right there against my tender skin. After a moment, I realized it was his tongue and the very thought of him licking me there made me start to harden all over again.

“Ezra!” I was rocking back and forth in time with the thrusts of his rolled up tongue stabbing through the tight muscles. I was shaking all over and when I felt the first ridge of slick plastic, I pushed back to take it inside. This time the shuddering wasn’t as much fun while it moved deep inside of me. It felt much thicker and longer than I knew it was and I was just about to tell Ezra it was too much when it touched that gland.

The heat was back and his warm hands stroking my lower back muscles gave me back my confidence. “Too much? I can take it out.”

“No way. It was kind of uncomfortable at first but when you pushed it in,” he did it again and warmth blossomed all through my groin. “Oh yeah, just like that, Ez’. Damn, why didn’t anybody ever tell me how good this feels?”

“It’s a closely held secret between men and a few women. Most men don’t know anything about their bodies and few take the time or effort to find out.” He was leisurely pushing the plug in and out of me with one hand while the other gloved my cock with slow, almost lazy tugs.

“God, Ezra, it feels so good.” I felt like the fire would never go out and when the doorbell rang, I was just on the verge of coming again.

“Damn!” Ezra stopped what he was doing and scrambled from the bed. “That will be Josiah with our dinner and he has a spare key. Hold on, Vin, I’ll be right back.”

I moaned and tried to relax but once he’d thrown on a robe and left, I crept slowly to the side of the bed. I could do this, I told myself. Sitting up was harrowing because I drove the plug in all by myself but once I stood up, it felt a little better. That is, until I started walking to the chair that held my robe. Every step felt so odd that I found myself doing a kind of bowl-legged walk. 

The plug was pure torture but for some reason it never occurred to me to take the damn thing out. I was bound and determined to get myself ready for Ezra without it killing me. I pulled on my robe and tried walking normally to the door but I could feel a hitch in my gait that would hopefully go unnoticed.

Josiah’s deep rumble was coming from the kitchen and hearing Ezra laugh at something he said made me once again thankful for the members of our team. There was a special closeness between our profiler and my Ezra. When Josiah called him son, I could see Ezra wanting to respond affectionately but too afraid to do it. One of these days, he’d be able to and I’d be right there cheering him on.

“Brother Vin, you look a little tired.” Josiah’s wise eyes looked straight into my heart and when I blushed, I could see him nod in satisfaction. “I brought your favorites from the Yu Sing restaurant. Perhaps a nap after dinner would not come amiss?”

“Sounds good, Josiah.” I leaned against the table, afraid to get anywhere near a chair.

“Yes, indeed, Josiah, I’ll be sure to put him straight to bed after we eat.” Ezra had an interesting look on his face and while I was trying to decide what it was, he thanked Josiah and sent him on his way.

“Vin, do you still have it in?” He came towards me with that graceful walk of his and I could feel myself blush.

“Un-uh, it’s about ready to drive me insane but it’s still there.” I straightened up and he caught me into an embrace that immediately sent my half-hard cock to full strength.

“I’ve never seen anything so sexy as you trying to walk with that thing still in you.” His arms came around me and one hand drifted down to press the plug in.

I shivered all the way down to my toes and moaned into his mouth while he tried to devour me. The table was right behind me and was the only thing holding me up. 

“Vin, do you trust me?” He pulled back just far enough to look me straight in the eye.

“Yes.” I kept it simple and was soundly rewarded when he pushed me up onto the table and somehow got my legs over his shoulders. My robe had fallen open and with no warning what so ever, he deep throated me. My hips tried to come up but in this position, he had all the control.

And I did trust him to drive me absolutely, 

. . . positively and 

. . . completely insane.

I was panting and moaning, my hands on his head to hold him right there while his mouth sucked me so hard that I thought he might swallow me. But his hands were busy too, one pushing in the plug and the other rolling my balls like a pair of dice. When I came, I came so hard that I think I might have blacked out for a moment.

The plug was gone and Ezra was still cleaning up my groin of any stray seed he might have missed. I felt so limp that I was afraid that I was going to need help off the table. “Ezra, did you get the number of that bus that hit me?”

He chuckled and kissed his way up to my face. His look of contentment must have matched my own because he chuckled once before kissing me sweetly. When he pulled away to look at me, he shook his head. “Sorry, Vin, I missed it but perhaps if we replay this drama, I can look out for it.”

It was my turn to laugh and I struggled to sit up. He let my legs fall to his waist and he made sure I was securely on the table before pulling me on up. I draped my arms around his neck and gazed into those green eyes of his. I loved seeing him happy and content.

“We’re going to be replaying it again and again, Ez’. I love you and one of these days it’s going to be you inside of me.” I promised him solemnly and kissed him gently to seal the bargain.

“I love you too, Vin. We’ll take it very slowly and carefully for I expect you inside of me as well.” He promised me right back and sealed the bargain with another kiss.

I would have been glad to just keep on kissing but his stomach growled followed shortly by mine and we broke apart to get supper ready. Josiah had gotten me the Mongolian beef that I loved and Ezra’s lemon chicken looked real good. We filled the china plates with rice and meat, taking them back to bed with us.

We watched the news while we ate but the outside world didn’t seem to have any significance to us. I felt we were in an enchanted place where just the two of us existed. And I liked that feeling but I also knew that sooner or later we’d have to rejoin the others. I just hoped that we could ease into it kind of gradual-like.

Ezra was yawning a little and he got me doing it too. So we washed the dishes and put everything away before heading into the bathroom for our bath. I was starting to look forward to soaking so long as I had my very own bath toy to play with. Ezra was so beautiful when he was wet. Soaping each other wasn’t just for cleaning anymore but for playing.

I got to the loofah first so he had to turn around so I could scrub his back for him. There was hardly any dry skin anymore since I’d been massaging him but he still purred for me when I stroked it over his lower back. And suddenly I needed to taste him the way he’d tasted me earlier. 

“Kneel up for me, Ez’. I see a spot that I don’t want to miss.” I asked him all innocent-like. And he knelt up and stretched a little while I just kept moving the loofah lower and lower. The long muscles of his back were clearly defined here and his ass looked like one of those marble boys in a museum.

Leaning in, I slowly ran the loofah down his crease and then back up over his cheeks. He shivered all over and spread his legs just a little so’s I’d know that it was okay to touch him there. We’d been pretty careful to make sure that each new move was all right. Both of us had a little baggage to deal with and we were too important to make any mistakes. So I did the caress again and once more before I leaned in and tasted him.

He hiccuped between a moan and a gasp but since I knew I wasn’t hurting him, I just kept on a goin’. I heard my name whispered real urgent-like but I just smiled and kept on teasing that small hole. Then I started stroking his balls real gently with just my hand since I knew the loofah would be way too rough for his tender skin. And he moaned real low while his hands held onto the edge of the tub with a real strong grip.

“Vin . . . oh, Vin.” was all he could manage to say and I was sure glad that he’d shown me this little move. He didn’t taste bad at all, being a real clean person, just a little more Ezra-musk than usual. I remembered that the Book had talked about rimming but until he did it, I just couldn’t see how that could be any fun.

Boy, was I wrong.

My other hand was moving on his cock which had gotten hard about two minutes after I started rimming him and between all the stimulation, poor Ezra didn’t know which way to move. It wasn’t fair to make him wait any longer so I sped up my frictioning of his cock and decided it was time to put a little bit of me inside of him. Hoping that the water and spit was enough lube for him, I tickled his little hole with my longest finger.

He shuddered all over and pushed back so’s it went in. I’ve never felt anything so tight and hot before. I put it all the way inside of him and felt around for the bump that the Book talked about. I was watching his back to make sure he didn’t tense up and he encouraged me by constricting his muscles around my finger.

Part of me was thinking that, by God, he was going to feel real good when I finally got up the nerve to put my cock inside of him and the other part of me was wondering if I’d ever find the damn nub. But just then his whole back rippled all over and I knew I’d found it. So, I went back to rubbing it again and again while he moaned so loud that I was afraid that the neighbors would call the cops on us.

He didn’t last long after that, spraying his seed into the water and resting his head on his hands while he jerked over and over in climax. I felt pretty proud of myself for making him feel so good and I made sure that I was real slow moving my finger out of his hot channel so’s I didn’t hurt him accidentally. I leaned in and kissed his entrance to thank it for helping me out.

“Vin, you are an amazing man.” He turned around and scooted real close, bringing me in even closer so he could kiss me.

When we had to break apart to breathe, I smiled at him. “You showed me what to do and if it felt half as good as when you did it to me, then that’s goin’ some.”

“It felt like a little bit of heaven and I love you.” He had tears in his eyes but I knew he wasn’t sad, just maybe a little overwhelmed by what we were doing.

“I love you too, Ezra. We’re going to be okay if we just take it one step at a time and practice making love over and over.” I grinned at him. “Mama always said that practice makes perfect.”

“And how very right she was. I think it may be time for me to make sure that you get washed properly.” He said with a gleam in his eye and a quick grab for the loofah, which was floating nearby.

I just sat back and let him start at my feet, however he did it was going to be just fine with me. And maybe I’d learn something new that I could try on him tomorrow. We still had four days to finish healing and keep on loving. And I was looking forward to every minute of them.

*******************


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ezra tells Vin of his past. It's not pretty.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Really nasty sex with someone he thought loved him. Description is only as graphic as needed.

*******************   
Ezra, part eleven  
******************* 

Vin was an amazing man. Warm, loving, affectionate and absolutely the most beautiful person it has ever been my fortune to know. And he loved me. That was what I found the most overwhelming, the love that shone from him with every look and gesture. I had never done anything in my 31 years to deserve that warmth but I was determined that I would do whatever I had to do to keep him happy.

His curious mind kept me constantly on the alert to explain some of the things that the Book, as he called it, wrote about. I discovered that it was The New Joy of Gay Sex and we read parts of it together. He still blushed at some of the black and white illustrations, which were rather explicit but they definitely did their job at exciting him. No one performed oral sex with the enthusiasm and finesse that he did.

But then I enjoyed fellating him whenever I had the chance. I was addicted to his taste but even more so by his scent. He had J. D. bring him some clothes from his apartment and his shampoo came with them. I think I will always associate him with that sweet but tart herbal smell. I wanted to think that I would never have to be without it, however I was still rather wary of the future.

But . . . I wanted to believe him when he said he loved me.

I knew how much I meant it when I said the words to him. I’d never meant anything more surely than I did those simple three syllables. And as the days went by, I grew more aware of just how much I did mean them. Frightening thoughts filled my mind, like living together and cleaving only to each other, the forever-love-vows that I’d been so sure that I would never, ever make.

But I wanted to make them with him.

He always seemed to know when I grew frightened. He would back away, giving me the space to take a few deep breaths and center myself again. I had the lowering thought that his skills came from gentling his horses and when he teased me about being skittish, I knew I’d been right.

But then I’ve been compared to worse things.

We talked almost nonstop for two more days while I slowly healed. Vin constantly surprised me with his insight. With every look and touch he told me that he loved me. I hardly knew what to do except love him back with every fiber of my being. And I did love him with all my heart and soul.

But would it be enough?

“Ezra, you’re thinking those heavy thoughts again.” A callused finger stroked gently between my eyes and I felt like purring.

“Is what we’re doing enough for you, Vin?” I had to ask.

“Shoot, Ez’, we’re making love practically every minute of the day. I’m enjoying the hell out of it.” His grin sparked my own.

“Tomorrow we’re going out to Chris’ for the hockey game. What do the others expect of us?” Part of me wanted to stay inside of these four walls and never go out.

“They’re our friends, Ezra, and they’ll treat us like guys they haven’t seen in a while. I expect that Buck has quite a bit of gossip to pass on to us.” He nuzzled my throat, lapping at the hollow and warming me all the way through. “And I expect that Nathan will make us go hiking out in the fresh air because we ain’t been doing much exercising.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t say that.” I tilted my head a little to entice him up my neck to the hot spot behind my ear.

He chuckled and obliged me. We were necking on the sofa with our feet on the coffee table, not something that I’d ever done before and I was enjoying it immensely. I nestled in his arms and felt his groin stir beneath me once again. His powers of recuperation were amazing. And I was the lucky recipient of his ardor.

Perhaps it was time to give him the ultimate pleasure?

My shirt was already unbuttoned and his warm lips were ghosting over my nipples while I caught my breath at the feelings that rippled through me. His loving care was not something I’d ever experienced before but I thought I could get used to it. He was gently biting the nipple over my heart and my hands combed through his silky hair to hold him there.

I could come just like this but with a sigh, I pulled his head up with a gentle tug.

“Did I hurt you?” He frowned as if that could possibly happen.

“No, Vin, you could never hurt me.” I trailed my fingers down his cheek to those lips that haunt my dreams. “But I’m getting too close. Could we adjourn to the bedroom?”

“Course we can, Ez’. These pesky clothes are just getting in my way anyway.” He grinned and slid off the couch, offering me a hand up.

The butterflies in my stomach were flapping their wings a little harder as we walked back, hand in hand to my bedroom. I’d cleaned myself out before lunch with one of the Fleet enemas that I kept on hand. After my first undercover case, I couldn’t seem to get rid of the raw emotions that went along with my impersonation of a low-level mob muscleman.

While in the drugstore filling my sleeping pill prescription, I overheard an obviously gay couple arguing about the benefits of enemas. I enjoy listening to stray bits of conversation that you hear in public places. Since I was a child, I’d made up little plays from those tidbits of dialog. They kept me busy when I was alone and lonely as I so often was.

But this time, the words brought a different picture into my mind. Cleansing. Flushing away my inner fears and turmoil. I’d bought my first enema then and it had seemed to help rid me of that case. Since then, I had gone undercover so many times that I’d long since lost track. But each time, I’d survived to come back and cleanse myself of most of the emotions.

Some of them would never go away and I learned to live with them.

But now I was cleaning myself for a very different reason. I was making room for Vin in my body, the way I had made room for him in my heart. 

“Ez’, you feeling all right? Your heart is beating double time.” Vin had started undressing me and I’d been so lost in my thoughts that I hadn’t even noticed.

“I’m just excited about going to bed.” I confessed and slid the blue shirt off those wide shoulders of his.

“We’ve gone to bed quite a few times, Ezra, but I got to admit that I’m kind of excited my’ownself.” He grinned at me and unsnapped my jeans, slowly sliding the zipper down while I shivered at the feel of those callused fingers against my sensitive skin.

“Oh,” I bit my lip when he kept on sliding my pants over my hips and down my legs. “Vin, don’t tease.”

“Not teasing, Ez’, just undressing you so’s I can feel all of you against all of me.” He tapped my right leg and I lifted it obediently, then my left leg so he could take my jeans off completely.

Then he stood so I could return the favor. There is nothing more awe inspiring then watching his satin skin appear inch by inch. Kneeling, I slid off his jeans. He’d gone commando and his beautiful cock bobbed in front of me, demanding that I touch and taste him. The very thought that I would soon have him deep inside of me made me grow harder, if that was possible. Rubbing my cheek along his slender length, I surprised him into a chuckle.

“Ez’, you’re just like that old tabby cat that we had when I was two.”

That brought a smile to my face. “I’ve been called worse, Vin. Mother always said that I was just like a cat, fastidious and disdainful.”

He raised me to my feet with that little wrinkle between his eyes that told me he wasn’t sure what those words meant. I hated it when I confused him and I made haste to explain.

“She just meant that I hated getting dirty like a cat who’s always licking his fur. And as a good host, I think that it would be only proper if I helped you clean yourself, Vin.” Twisting us a little, I made sure that he landed on the bed first. Then I began a thorough cleaning with my tongue, starting at his throat and working my way down.

His laughter was such a gift to me.

I was nervous but determined while I teased him into a state of complete arousal with my licks and nips. He was groaning when I straddled his hips and leaned down to kiss him. I feasted on him with abandon while I reached behind and grasped his cock. The angle had to be just right or I’d botch it. But I wanted to give him this gift of my body since it was all I had to give.

And with a determined push, I had him inside of me. He groaned or I groaned, I’m not sure which of us it was. I broke the kiss so I could sit up and take him all the way inside. Only when I was sitting on his thighs with him as deep as he could be did I open my eyes to look down at him.

It hurt but not enough to stop me from smiling. The burn wasn’t quite as bad as I remembered it from before but then Vin wasn’t as well endowed as my first male lover. I banished all thoughts of the man who’d come before. He didn’t belong on the same planet as my wonderful new lover.

“Ezra, why?” Vin’s frown was back and his hands stroked my thighs almost hesitantly as if he might hurt me.

“I love you, Vin.” I shrugged and used my thigh muscles to rock up and down just a little to see if that changed the burn. It did a little and I knew the moment that his cock brushed against my gland. “Oh!”

“What? Did I hurt you?” He tried to move us to our sides but I resisted.

“No, Vin, you just hit my prostate and it feels wonderful.” I started rocking a little more and threw in some muscle contractions.

“Oh, God, you’re right. That feels . . . feels like heaven.” His eyes were half-slitted and I could feel his hips try to come up.

So, I relaxed a little more and fell forward so I could kiss him while he thrust up and hit my gland again and again. When we had to breathe, I grinned at him. “I can see why you’re our sharpshooter, Vin. Oh, there.”

He angled just right and massaged my gland into incandescent warmth. And with a whisper, he did it again. “Bulls-eye, Ezra.”

“Indeed,” was all the energy I had to spare for speech.

We didn’t last much longer after that, it was still too new to both of us. When I came all over his chest, my inner muscles milked him of his own climax and I felt his liquid heat flood me completely. He pulled me down to him and cuddled me close. I listened to the beating of his heart and felt content for the first time in such a long time.

“Ezra, I love you.” His hands stroked my shoulders. “I didn’t hurt you?”

“Never have, never will, Vin.” I felt all my muscles dissolving into putty. “The Book was right, it does feel good when you love the person you’re with.”

His arms hugged me close. “Why today? Why not say something?”

My head came up. “I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

He shook his head with a faint smile. “You felt better than anything I’ve ever felt before. But I’m a mite concerned that you were afraid to ask me first.”

I bit my lip, worrying it the way I usually only did when I was alone. His right hand came up and laid two fingers across my mouth so I had to stop. Those bright blue eyes were steady on mine and I knew that I’d have to come up with an explanation of sorts. But another look and I knew with a sinking heart that he deserved the truth.

And I would have to share a part of my past that hurt just thinking about it. “When I was twenty-one, I finished college and joined my first alphabet agency. Most of what we did was top secret so I’m afraid that I can’t talk about it but my partner was an experienced agent of several years. He was also very handsome and . . . and I fell for him in a way I’d never fallen before.”

This was harder than I’d thought it would be. I wanted to hide from his all-seeing gaze but he deserved to know how foolish I’d been. While I was taking a deep breath in order to continue, he slipped from me and we both groaned at the loss of connection. For a moment, I felt the terrible emptiness then Vin was rolling us to our sides and taking my lips with a passion.

He entwined his tongue around mine and sucked them both into his hot, wet mouth. Some of the pain went away and I could feel myself calming. More and more, I feared that I was indeed acting like one of Vin’s horses.

“Ezra, I love you and whatever you tell me will be safe with me.” He spoke quietly and rested his forehead against mine.

“I know that, Vin.” I took another deep breath while he pulled the comforter from the foot of the bed over both of us. We were cocooned in warmth and I sighed contentedly. “His name was Tyler Brown and we’d just finished our second assignment when I made the great mistake of showing him my feelings. Perhaps it was the relief of tension after a dangerous time, I don’t know for sure. But he took me up on my offer with a smile and a laugh.”

Swallowing the old pain, I took another breath. “We were in Jamaica in October and the whole island seemed so romantic to me. I was living in a fool’s paradise, I suppose. He wined and dined me until I was feeling no pain. We went back to my room and when he kissed me, I just melted. It felt so good to let down my defenses and be with someone else with all my heart.”

The memory was so full of pain that I closed my eyes and held onto Vin with all my strength. His soft murmur calmed me somewhat while he rocked me slowly in his arms.

“We undressed each other and that’s when I saw how very big he was. I had a moment of fear when I saw him begin to harden and grow even longer but he just laughed and told me that I would love how he would make me feel.” I paused a moment, remembering my naïve self. “I trusted him.” 

“Son of a bitch.” Vin’s voice was deadly in its intensity. “I’ve never even met him but I already hate his guts.”

I tried to smile over the lump in my throat. “He taught me a valuable lesson, Vin. It’s why I don’t . . . I don’t trust easily. But I do trust you and the other members of our team.”

“And we trust you, Ezra, don’t you ever forget that we’re there for you in all ways.” He kissed my temple tenderly and that gave me the strength to continue.

“We kissed for a few moments in the bed and his hand stroked me to climax disgracefully quickly. When I apologized, he just laughed and said that I was so young that I had plenty more to ‘come’. The little pun relaxed me and when he slid a slick finger behind my balls and up my crease, I let him. I was afraid of his size but determined to make him feel as good as he’d made me feel. When he moved me over to my stomach, I thought it was just so he could loosen me more. But he brought me up to my knees and thrust three fingers into me. It hurt but when he hit my gland that felt good. I was afraid to say anything and he kept telling me that I was his . . . his bitch and I could take it.”

Vin kept on petting me while I told him of the disgraceful details. “It’s okay, Ezra, I’ve got you. And I’m not letting go.”

“Then . . . he took his fingers out and thrust in with all his strength.” I could still feel the tearing, blinding pain that filled me. “I screamed and begged him to stop but he laughed out loud and told me to take it like the bitch-in-heat that I was. He told me that I’d been asking for a . . . a righteous fucking ever since we’d been paired. And he kept on fucking me, over and over while I begged him to stop.”

I could feel the tears well up again, remembering the awful pain from someone I thought I could trust. Thought I could love. The ice threatened to come back, that black ice that had coated my heart all those long years ago. But Vin was there, holding me, telling me he loved me and he kept me from freezing once again.

“Love you, Ezra. I love you so much and I’m not ever letting you go. No one will ever hurt you like that again.” He kept reassuring me with words and touches that kept me anchored to the here and now.

“I never did come that night. I started to freeze when he pulled out of me and slapped my bleeding ass. He told me that he had a bet with the agent who gave us our assignments that he could take me before our first year was up. He said he’d never had a more unappetizing fuck in his life. I was a poor lover and a frozen bitch who was a born bottom for real men.” 

The words still hurt even after a decade of trying to forget them. Tyler had been a master at the psychological put-down. He and my mother had both managed to leave me feeling like a reject and totally unworthy of their regard.

“He better hope that he never meets me, Ez’.” Vin’s voice was deadly in its intensity. “I got a bullet with his name on it. Nobody hurts you like that and gets away with it.”

I hid my face in his shoulder. “I asked for reassignment the next week and got sent to the Orient. It took me three years to feel the glimmer of a lighter emotion and my luck held sway even then. She was the daughter of one of the most important families in Hong Kong. I thought perhaps I might love again, that Tyler was an aberration. She used me as a decoy in a power struggle between two of the leading Tongs. When I discovered the truth, I taxed her with it . . .”

“Tell me, Ezra, let it all out of your system.” He laid a line of soft kisses all the way down my hairline.

“She laughed and told me that I was a poor excuse for a lover. I had no passion in me and was only good for show. My façade was all she wanted.” I swallowed hard and felt myself go limp in his arms. “That’s when I requested a transfer to Central America and decided not to trust anyone ever again. And I haven’t . . . not until I got assigned to Team Seven.”

And I waited for his judgment.

“My beautiful Ezra, they didn’t realize what they threw away.” He kissed my lips softly and waited until I opened my eyes before continuing. “I love you and I always will. They were fools and lower than dirt to treat you with anything less than the respect you deserve. And my Mama taught me to never hit a lady but I’m willing to make an exception in Her case.”

He was an amazing man, my Vin. All he saw was my pain and his first instinct was to make me feel better. I didn’t deserve him in the least but I would fight like hell for him now. What I felt for him was so much more than what I thought I’d felt for either of my previous lovers, that there was no comparison.

“I love you, Vin. It’s not much but you may have my heart if you want it.” I managed to whisper to him.

Vin shook his head while the lump seemed to crawl higher in my throat, cutting off my air. “Nope, Ezra, but if you’re willing, I’ll trade you mine for yours.”

The relief was almost more than I could bear. And the damn stammer came back. “R-r-really?”

“Absolutely, cross my heart and hope to die.” He performed the childhood ritual solemnly.

I blushed and dropped my eyes again. “You’ve had mine since the day we met.”

“Good. Now I want you to put that plug back inside me so’s I can keep stretching for you.” He kissed me hard before letting go and reaching for the drawer where we kept the play toys.

“Vin, you don’t have to just because I do.” I rose up on one elbow and immediately noticed the drying cum that matted my chest and his. “We need to clean up.”

“After you put this back inside of me.” He said firmly. “I know I don’t have to but I want to know what it’s like, even if it’s just once.”

I opened my mouth to say something else but what ever it was fled my mind at the sight of Vin smearing lotion on the toy he’d worn several days before. All my higher reasoning goes completely away when he does something like that and I found myself reaching out for it while he got on his hands and knees. His sultry look would have made a marble statue respond and I made sure he was well moistened before I slowly slid the oddly shaped plastic inside of him.

“More.” He wriggled a little and I obligingly pushed it in enough to spark his gland. “Damn, that feels good. Now, let’s go take a bath so you can torment me some more.”

I stroked my hands over his cheeks, pushing the plug in each time I went by. “Vin, you have the most beautiful ass, I have ever been privileged to see. After our bath, I have another toy you might enjoy.”

He sent me a questioning look but I tried for an innocent gaze that he saw right through. “It’s a date, Ezra. You, me, this bed and a new toy, right after our bath.”

“It’s a date.” I nodded and helped him from the bed, trying not to laugh at his ungainly gait away from the bed.

He was the greatest treasure of my life and I would make sure that he was never hurt, especially not by my actions. Vin would never come to harm if I had any say in the matter. He’d taken all of my shameful past and shown me that there was still something inside of me he could love.

No one had ever done that before and gratitude overflowed my cold heart, warming me the way nothing had in the past. He had always been my talisman and now he was the light that lit my way out of the darkness of my soul. I would love him the best I knew how and hope it was enough.

For now.

********************   
Vin, part twelve  
******************* 

I’d never been so angry but I’d also never had so much to lose by showing it. Ezra needed me to accept his past and the idiots who’d hurt him so badly. I tucked the name of the asshole who’d tried to destroy him in the back of my mind and made myself a promise to make sure that he paid for what he’d done to Ezra.

The woman was something else. Ma had always said that women used to be protected but nowadays they had to be just as tough as their menfolk. I’d promised her that when I grew up, I’d take care of her. She had hugged me tight and laughed real low, like she did some times. ‘If I’m not here, little angel, there will be someone who needs you.’

And how right she was. The fact that it was a man instead of a woman had kind of thrown me for a loop for a while. Now that I’d held him and listened to his halting confessions, I knew that he needed me as much as I needed him. And right now, he needed me to love him to pieces the way he’d just loved me.

If the damn plug would stop massaging me into hardness, I’d be able to think more clearly. He was still shaking a little and I wanted to get him into the hot water of our bath. I’d always been a shower man but damned if I couldn’t see the benefits of a tub. He was so beautiful when wet.

He poured in some of the oil scented with magnolias and I could see his shoulders relax a little at the familiar smell. I would do what ever I had to do to get him to relax with me again. Not to mention love him to pieces like he’d just done for me. I’ve never felt anything so hot and tight in my life. There was none of the moistness of a woman, just heat and what felt like leather massaging me.

I shivered and he looked at me in concern. “Are you all right, Vin?”

“Just remembering the way it felt inside of you, Ezra. I never felt anything like that before.” I stepped in the tub and held out my hand to him. “I want to feel it again if that’s all right with you?”

He blushed and joined me. “When ever you like, Vin. Having you inside of me was better than Christmas and my birthday combined.”

I knelt and gingerly got set down in the tub. “Well, if’n this plug don’t make me come all on it’s own, I plan on finding out what you mean.”

He chuckled and started lathering the soap. “Not just yet, Vin, but I promise that you’ll come and come hard when I get you back into bed.”

It was good to see him smiling again and I tucked my anger away so I didn’t spook him. His touch was so reverent that I felt kind of like one of those saints in the RC church - worshiped. His fingers slid over me like silk, tantalizing my skin into goosebumps. The hair on his legs teased my inner thighs and I opened them wider to get him closer. Suddenly, I wanted to be surrounded by him, penetrated and owned by him.

“Ezra!” I felt like I was on fire and only he could put out the flames. My hands tried to draw him closer while my skin rippled with every wave of water.

He pulled me into his lap, my legs around his waist while he ravaged my needy lips with the kind of kiss that I needed. His tongue surged into my mouth and started a rhythm that had my hips trying to imitate it. His hands palmed my cheeks apart and back together, pushing in the plug with every inward squeeze. Now, I was really on fire, my cock pressed against his stomach and the urge to come getting harder and harder to ignore.

We were both panting when we broke apart to breathe then he dove back in, taking my breath while he fisted my cock with one hand and pushed in the plug with the other. Somehow he knew what I needed and was giving it to me in spades. I couldn’t get in enough air and just before everything went black, I felt my cock explode in his hand.

It wasn’t but a moment before I was back with him and it was his voice that woke me. “Vin! Vin, come back to me.”

Forcing my eyes open, I managed to raise my head from his shoulder and smiled. “When can we do it again, Ez’?”

He relaxed a little. “You’re all right, then?”

“Better than all right, Ezra, I needed you to love me all out, no holding back and you did.” I found a little energy to lean in and kiss him tenderly. He returned my kiss after a moment and this time his lips were soft and gentle.

“I was afraid that I’d hurt you,” and I heard the unsaid words, ‘like I was hurt.’

“Loving me won’t ever hurt me, Ezra. I’m not fragile like a woman and I won’t break if you take me hard.” I scattered kisses over his face and felt the roughness of his evening beard. “You’re a strong man and so am I, so don’t ever think that I don’t want all of you. Because I do want you inside of me as much as you want me inside of you.”

He blinked a little at my blunt words but then he nodded slowly and I saw his eyes flame a little hotter. It was going to be all right, I could tell. Soon, he’d be ready to take me and I’d be ready to be taken. But right now, that damn plug was trying to harden my sated cock. All the blood in my body was headed south and I was feeling lightheaded again.

“Relax for me, Vin.” Ezra’s hand gloved my limp cock and while I was thrusting up, he plucked the plug out of my body and left me empty.

“Oh,” was all I could say while I think I may have pouted.

He smiled down at me and laid the rubber plug aside while his soapy hands washed my chest. Then he washed me from top to bottom before turning me over and washing my back. But this time after he rinsed me, he had me up on all fours while he leaned in to nibble his way down my crease. This whole rimming thing felt so good that I rested my head on my folded arms and just gave into the pleasure.

I got harder and harder until I needed to come in the worst way. “Ezra, please take me back to bed and make love to me.”

He rested his cheek on my back. “Are you sure, Vin? I want to but I don’t want to hurt you.”

Straightening up, I twisted around to take him in my arms. “Sometimes a little pain just reminds us that we’re alive. I promise to tell you if it’s too much but I don’t think it will be. I think that you’re going to slide inside of me and very gently take that other virginity, I been holding onto.”

His eyes were brilliant green and he couldn’t help a shiver at my words. But I could also see his resolve steady and when he stood and offered me a hand up, I could see his cock standing proudly out from his body. Soon I was going to have all that solid flesh inside of me and I could hardly wait.

He dried me slowly while I stood and let him. Ezra threw the towels on the floor and led me back to the bedroom, which told me that he was indeed ready to take me. I was willing to bet that he’d never left a messy bathroom in his life and I couldn’t help but grin at his determination. This was going to be good.

And it was. 

He laid me on my stomach and coated his hands with oil, first massaging me into the sheets before sliding a finger deep inside of me. It felt better than good and when he sparked my gland, I started heating up again. Then one became two and I couldn’t keep still, my hips restlessly moving while I hardened again. He helped by tucking one of our pillows under my stomach so my full weight wasn’t on my cock anymore.

Then he slid back in with three fingers and for the first time I tensed a little. That felt so full that I had that urge to push him out again but I fought it hard and gradually, he flexed them a little so the heat came back. His other hand stroked my back just like I did to a skittish horse and I chuckled at the thought that we’d switched places.

“Feeling a mite skittish, Vin?” He read my mind and mimicked my accent.

“A mite, Ezra, you’re doing just fine in settling me down.” And I moved back a little to get those fingers where I needed them. The flash of heat told me I’d succeeded and I heard him squeeze out more of the thick oil/lotion that we’d been using. Part of me wished I could see him getting himself ready but most of me was just impatient at the wait.

“Over onto your side, Vin. That will be easier on you according to the Book.” He guided me onto my right side and shoved the pillow away while one of his legs came between mine to hold them apart. “Breathe deep for me, my angel-Vin. And remember that I love you.”

Then his fingers were gone, leaving me empty until the warm tip of his cock pushed slowly against my entrance. I relaxed as best I could and pushed out the way the Book had said to do. The crown pierced me, opening me impossibly wide while I shook with the pain. But he stopped once he’d gotten inside, his hand moving from my hip to my stomach where he warmed me with soothing strokes.

“Tell me when to move, Vin. Either out for now or in further.” He kissed the back of my neck and I could feel his love everywhere.

“Hard part’s over, Ezra.” I couldn’t help my voice shaking just a bit. “And you feel huge but it’s getting better. Just give me a few minutes.”

“As long as you need, angel. I’m about ready to lose it anyway. You’re so tight.” The wonder in his voice made me want to cry and laugh at the same time.

And that gave me the courage to push back and take a little more of him inside of me. I’d never felt so full before but then I’d never been so well loved. He groaned a little and moved in deeper. His hand had taken my wilted cock and was slowly stroking him back to life. There were so many sensations filling me that I was hard pressed to give them the attention they deserved.

Heat.

Pressure.

No longer pain but a restless feeling that demanded more.

And he gave it to me, sliding in all the way and sparking my gland to life. Then he was moving slowly out and back in again while I hardened completely and began to help. He kept his thrusts even and soon the pace began to speed up. I was panting again, trying to get enough air into my starving lungs. When he pulled just a little harder on my cock, I suddenly froze and came hard. A brief pain distracted me enough to keep me conscious and I realized that he was flooding me with his heat and his groan was muffled in the flesh of my shoulder. 

I smiled to myself. Ezra’d branded me as his and that felt right because I was and always would be. He licked the site in apology but I just hugged him closer to show him I didn’t mind. 

“I love you, Vin.” His voice was husky.

“I love you too, Ezra. And I think that I’m going to want you inside of me again.” I realized that that was the honest truth. The pain had been fleeting and I was already forgetting it because the pleasure had been so very good.

“I’ve never felt anything like your heat, Vin.” He was slowly kissing my neck until he got to that hot spot behind my ear and made me shiver. “I’m surprised that I lasted as long as I did. You felt so tight around me.”

“Like brand new leather gloves when you pull them on for the first time?” I’d thought about it and that was exactly what it felt like inside of him.

He chuckled. “Exactly, my friend. You’re a poet, Vin, and now I’ll probably never be able to wear gloves again without thinking of you.”

“Good. I’d hate for it to just be me lusting after your touch.” I could feel him starting to shrink just a little.

“Never, Vin, I’ll always want your touch. Don’t let me hurt you now.” He rocked a little and began to back out.

I clenched around him but that only hurried him along and all too soon he’d left me empty. Turning, I gathered him in for a kiss and he let me take control of our lips. I needed that and somehow he knew me better than I knew myself. When I pulled back, he looked dazed, just the way I wanted him to look.

“We’re going to need a shower before we eat dinner. Then you promised me a new toy.”

He laughed out loud. “I don’t think that anything can match what we just did.” I pouted a little and he smiled. “Perhaps I’ll let you play with it tomorrow while we’re at Chris’.”

I drew back a bit and looked at his innocent look. “Not the plug?”

He shook his head. “No, indeed. Just a little something to . . . remind you of me.”

“You’ll be right there, Ezra. I won’t need a reminder.”

He smiled that full out smile that made me glad to see it and I gave in. Laughing, he tickled me into moving back to the bathroom. I could still feel the stretched muscles deep inside of me and I knew my gait wasn’t quite right when he slid an arm around my waist to help me walk and stroked my hip. I’ve never felt so cherished in my life. Ezra had a kind of stunned look on his face, like he couldn’t believe that I was real.

I reminded him in the shower that I was his and he was mine, washing him from top to bottom. But he got his own back when he knelt to check my entrance to make sure that he hadn’t been too rough. I could have told him that I was stretched but not torn but when he leaned in to lick me clean, it was all I could do to stay upright against the tiled wall. Locking my arms and leaning in took all my concentration.

Hell, I was half-hard again by the time the water started running cool. 

But we’d made plans to go to Miss Daisy’s for dinner and Ezra admitted that he was hungry for the first time since this assignment began. That was real good news to me because I’d been a mite worried when he couldn’t even finish his soup. I know the medication had something to do with it but still, I wanted to see him enjoying his food the way he had on our first date.

That thought made me laugh and drew a quizzical look from him. “I was just thinking that our first dinner at Miss Daisy’s was also our first date.”

He grinned. “Indeed it was, Vin. That memory kept me from going completely insane while I got deeper and deeper into Munson’s life. Well, that and your kiss.”

I stopped pulling on my jeans and pulled him into a hug. “First kiss, too, I wonder how I got so lucky.”

Kissing me tenderly, he postponed his answer for a long moment. Brushing his fingers through my hair, he shook his head a little. “I’m the lucky one, Vin. You thawed me out and burned away all the painful memories, leaving me with your beautiful love and caring.”

“I never thought I could love like this, Ez’. It helped a lot when I realized that you were the one who made my heart leap. We got to think of something real nice for Buck and Chris. Without them clueing me in, I might not have ever understood what I was feeling.” I leaned against him and breathed in his clean scent. There was still a hint of magnolias and I knew that no matter where I was, that scent would always mean home to me. Just like Ezra would always be the center of my universe.

“I shall endeavor to put my mind to the task.” He chuckled and let me go slowly, his fingers lingering on my skin. “But if you would get dressed, I would be able to think a little more clearly. That’s a sexy look for you but it’s also very distracting.”

I grinned and grabbed my last clean shirt. “I probably need to go home and pick up some clothes. Else, we’ll have to run the washer for sure.”

He nodded and I saw that little frown come back between his eyes. Something in what I’d said was worrisome to him. Thinking back over it, I suddenly knew what he was contemplating. ‘Home’ meant a lot of things but mostly a place. I really couldn’t see Ezra living in Purgatorio where my friends mostly were. There were kids that I was mentoring, the Sisters who were trying to clean the place up, my elderly neighbors who needed errands run and a host of other obligations to think about.

We were both quiet when we locked up his door and walked down to the garage. He handed me the keys to the Jag and settled in the passenger seat. I surely did love driving that car. There was power at the faintest touch of my foot or hand and it was intoxicating but also kind of fearful. You had to concentrate on your driving for sure or it would fly away with you.

And that’s when I knew what his name was. I got us parked and turned to Ezra with a big grin on my face.

“What in the world, Vin?”

“Pegasus. His name is Pegasus, ‘cause he surely would fly if you let him loose.”

His laughter was totally carefree. “Only you, Vin, would still be thinking of naming my car. But you’re right, there have been a few times on the open road when I have let him go free. Pegasus it is.”

“Good, now let’s eat before I have to bite a chuck out of his steering wheel.” I made sure everything was locked up tight before joining him on the sidewalk. Now that we were back in the world, I had to be careful about touching him or getting too close.

He seemed to be having the same problem and his rueful glance told me that we’d be touching each other real hard at the earliest possible moment. The restaurant was pretty full but our booth in the back was still free. Miss Daisy sat us down and whisked a basket of corn bread and a pitcher of sweet tea onto the table, telling us briskly that we were having sweet potatoes and ham tonight.

Ezra was chuckling when she bustled away and I watched him relax with relief. He was already buttering some corn bread so I hurried up to get my share. When he sighed and smiled happily, I knew that I probably looked pretty foolish so I dropped my eyes and concentrated on my bread.

“Vin?” He sounded kind of unsure, like he’d done something wrong.

“It’s okay, Ez’. I’m just having a problem with not being able to touch you and look at you the way I want to.” I shrugged and looked up through my eyelashes to find him smiling at me.

“I have the same problem, Vin. We’re going to have to work on that when we rejoin the Team. They seem to be all right with . . . us.” It wasn’t quite a question but I could see he was struggling with it.

“They’re fine, Ezra, and we are, too. We were friends from the start and most people will just see that friendship.” I nudged his foot with mine under the table and made sure that my voice didn’t alter by so much as an iota. “Unless I just have to grab and kiss you because some woman is giving you the glad eye.”

He looked real startled then broke into the quiet laughter that I loved to hear. “Oh, Vin, as if I’d even notice anyone else when you were in the room.”

“Good.” I nodded and finished my corn bread. He was still chuckling under his breath while he drank some of his iced tea.

Miss Daisy brought our food and patted Ezra on his shoulder. “Land sakes, child, you’ve lost weight again. I think it’s time that you came in more often so’s we can feed you up.”

“I promise that I will be in much more often, Miss Daisy. I may even be moving closer.” He told her with a smile while I tried not to let my jaw hit the table.

She left us alone and my shocked look made him blush a bit. “You love Purgatorio and the people there. I can’t ask you to give up something you love.”

“Ezra, you’re more important to me than any place or person.” I made sure that my knee was nudging his. “Maybe we could find something around here that would still let me coach some of the kids and help out my older neighbors once in a while?”

His smile was tinged just a bit with disbelief and I could see that he still didn’t quite understand how committed I was to loving him. But that was okay because we had plenty of time to discover all those places in the middle where we could meet. 

“There are some warehouses six blocks from here but closer to Purgatorio that are being converted to loft condos.” Ezra told me kind of hesitant-like.

“Hey, that would be fun to make old space new. You could design it so it was comfortable and the rest of the team would help us build it.” I could see the possibilities. “We have to have a bathroom like your apartment’s. I’m kind of getting to like hot baths.”  
He tried to hide his smile but it was just too big. “A nice big bathroom goes without saying. But we also need a big window so your rocking chair has a place for you to rock and watch the stars.”

“Yeah, and book shelves for all of your books.” I spoke around my mouthful of fluffy sweet potatoes. “And your fancy stereo with all the CDs.”

“Not to mention your exercise equipment and mine.” He reminded me. “We’ll also need space for a nice big table so we can sit all of the Team down to dinner.”

“Or poker.” It was my turn to remind him of something. “And your nice big bed.”

“Our nice big bed.” He threw me a little flirty look before taking a bite of ham.

“Yeah, our bed.” Suddenly I wanted to finish dinner and take him back home so I could love him to pieces. “Think we can do it?”

Those beautiful green eyes met mine straight on. “I think that we can do anything we set our minds to, Vin. And there’s nothing I’ve ever wanted more than a safe, warm space filled with you and our love.”

I nodded, my heart too full to speak. We were going to be okay. Whatever happened in the days ahead, we’d face it together, building a new life filled with love and laughter.

**********************


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys rejoin the outside world.

*********************   
Ezra, part thirteen  
********************* 

I love watching him eat. He enjoys his food the way he makes love, completely and with all his heart. I’ve never done that before but I wanted to. I wanted to be the man he saw first thing every morning and last thing every night. I wanted to take him inside of me and never let him go. And somehow, after a lifetime of being told how inadequate I was, I finally know that I’m not.

Not inadequate.

Not frigid.

Not cold and lonely.

Not incapable of loving or being loved.

Because I love him with all my heart and soul.

And he loves me.

Wishes really do come true.

When I was young, I went with some cousins to a Disney movie, called Sleeping Beauty and all the other kids knew the story behind the film but me. Maude wasn’t a fairy tale kind of mother. I watched, mesmerized by the unfolding story and when Briar Rose sang ‘some day my prince will come’, I was hoping with all my heart that he really would.

But Malificent was too strong for them and when she turned into the towering black dragon, I just knew what the ending would be. Then Prince Philip succeeded in killing her and racing to the sleeping princess. When he woke her with a kiss, I wanted to cry but kept those shameful tears inside. My cousins wanted to play dragons and princes after that and I played along.

But even then I knew that I wanted that fantasy to be true and not just a fairy tale. And as the years went by and I learned the hard lessons of life, I tucked that hope deep inside where nothing could ever harm it. But love needs attention and my heart was almost frozen solid when my Vin woke me with a kiss. Oh, I knew that he wasn’t a knight in shiny armor but he’s just as noble as any prince in this day and age.

And while I’m no sleeping beauty, I must admit that I hadn’t felt this alive in years. He awakened me to a passion that overwhelmed and sometimes frightened me. But he’s worth any pain or fear. He’s my talisman and I will do anything I have to, to keep him safe. Even if that means moving into a neighborhood that isn’t safe at all. My suggestion had him smiling and planning out loud while he gestured with his fork.

His passion for hard work is legendary and I fear that means that I will have to follow where he leads. However, the trust fund that I inherited from Grandmother Esther when I turned 30 will no doubt help with the initial work. I’d never built a home before but then I’d never really known what a home really was.

Home is where the heart is and mine will always be with Vin. 

I would still have some doubts now and then but for once, I was determined to give myself wholeheartedly the way he had given himself to me. That frightening thought should have put me off my food but Miss Daisy’s ham was too good not to enjoy. And Vin had convinced me that he knew what he was doing.

“Ezra, those heavy thoughts are back.” His knee pressed against mine and I smiled at his reassuring gesture.

“Not heavy, Vin, but definitely unknown thoughts for me.” I owed him my honesty. “I’ve no experience with building a relationship or a home but I want to build both with you and only you.”

His bright smile was my reward, that and his husky drawl that did such severe damage to my heartstrings. “I don’t have any experience either, Ezra, but I figure we can build the future together. Step by step, just like we do everything else. ‘Course we’ll have to be sure to make plenty of time for us. Not to mention all those baths in our new home.”

I chuckled and nodded, finishing the last of my sweet potatoes. Vin was ahead of me again and he poured us both ice tea while I was scraping my plate. Only good manners kept me from licking it clean. Some day, Miss Daisy would perhaps take me on as a cooking student and I would learn her secret of cooking sweet potatoes.

“You really think we can do it, Ez’?” He had set his plate aside and used his fork to draw patterns on the tablecloth.

“Yes. I’m looking forward to it, not the mess of construction but the creation of new space out of old. I’ve always fancied trying my hand at remodeling.” I also set my plate aside and waited for Miss Daisy to notice.

“You’ll be real good at it, Ezra. You know about stuff like that.” Vin pressed his knee in closer to mine and I pressed back.

“We need to work together on it, Vin. The space will be our home and I never want you to be uncomfortable anywhere in it.” I leaned in and briefly touched his hand. “I can be rather anal retentive when it comes to design.”

He grinned at me and returned the touch. “Not an altogether bad thing to be, Ez’.”

And I blushed, just the way he meant me to. “Some things need to be less formal than I have had them in the past. My apartment looks nice but isn’t very comfortable. I look to you to steer us in the right direction there. Your rocking chair isn’t very pretty but I could see that you find great comfort when you sit in it.”

“I found a bunch of great stuff in the garbage along Worthington Street, a few years back. I been meaning to refinish it but I never got around to it.” He laughed and shook his head. “Too busy sitting and rocking to go to work stripping it.” 

“Perhaps Mr. Larabee would allow you to bring it out to his ranch for stripping? I have never done any furniture renovation but I could learn.” I ventured and watched his face light up.

“That’s a good idea, Ez’. Half the problem with stripping is the fumes that can mess you up, not to mention fill the whole apartment with the stink.” Vin shook his head. “When we get home, I’ll call Chris and see if he would mind.”

I felt a thrill that he thought of my apartment as home. Or did he feel as I did that wherever the other was, there was home? “Yes, when we get home.”

He smiled at me and would have spoken but Miss Daisy arrived with our dessert. She set the chocolate cake with whipped cream frosting before us with a bit of a flourish and whisked away our dirty plates. Vin’s first bite had him closing his eyes and moaning in appreciation while I watched him with bated breath. His enjoyment was almost orgasmic and I smiled tenderly at him.

Opening his eyes, he caught my look and blushed. “I know, I know. I’ve got a real sweet tooth. Must be why I love you so much.”

“I am hardly sweet, Vin.” I shook my head ruefully and took my first bite of the moist, rich cake.

“Sweeter than honey, Ezra, that’s what you are.” He chuckled and took another bite.

It was my turn to blush and drop my eyes. We finished our cake in a simmering silence that bode well for our evening. I could hardly believe that we’d made love all day. He’d given me so much joy that I felt as if I’d fallen through the looking glass into an enchanted world where anything was possible.

He finished his ice tea and sat back to watch me finish my cake. “You know, Ez’, we’ve got a lot on our schedule. How about we go to my place so I can get some clean clothes and load the rocker into my Jeep? Then I’ll follow you back to your place.”

“I think it’s a stellar idea, Vin.” I could hardly bear to let him out of my sight but sooner or later we would be separated if only at work. “Perhaps you could pack a suitcase full for the near future?”

He laughed and agreed. We finished our dessert and paid at the front, but not before being hugged by Miss Daisy and promising to come back soon. He drove us to Purgatorio and I went up with him to help him pack. The small homey touches he’d picked up here and there were a very good example of why his apartment looked like a home and mine looked like a designer model.

The sampler that was framed on the wall drew my eye and when I walked over to it, I saw that it was old, very old and very beautiful. It was signed Elizabet Tanner and dated 1797. The stitch work was intricate and centered on the cloth was a house depicted more like a bayou mansion than a home in the East.

“She was my father’s great-great-great-great-grandmother.” His voice was gentle. “I don’t have much of my past left but when I went back to where my Ma was buried after I was grown, the little old librarian of the public library recognized me and gave me that sampler. She said that Ma had given it to her for me when I grew up. Do you see the little knots along the fence?”

The little protrusions were the same color as Vin’s hair and I had an inkling of what they might be. “She used strands of her hair?”

“Yep. So I come by this color naturally. I kind’a feel like I know some of my ancestors when I look at her sampler.” His eyes were gentle when they looked at the finely woven linen.

“Would you like to bring it with you to my place? It would look very nice over our bed.” I offered a bit hesitantly.

“Yeah, it would, wouldn’t it? Take it down and carry it home in Pegasus.” He grinned at me and went back to finish filling his battered old duffel bag. 

I carefully lifted it down and laid it on the distressed green table. Going to the bathroom, I took a clean towel from the stack on the back of the toilet and came back to carefully wrap it. I wouldn’t take a chance on breaking the glass. Then he was ready and I took the duffel and sampler while he hefted up the rocker to carry out. The door shut behind him and I had a sudden premonition that he would never come back here again to live.

Not a bad vision if it meant he’d be living with me from now on.

“Vin, is there anything else that you wouldn’t want to lose?” I didn’t know where my premonition was coming from but I’d learned the hard way to pay attention to it.

He cocked his head and set the rocker down. “Bad vibes, Ez?”

“I think so.” I didn’t know what else to say.

“Hold on then while I get my photo album.” He smiled at me and went back inside, returning in a moment with a three-ring binder that he put in the rocker seat before picking it up and starting down. We went slowly down the stairs and I put my burdens in the Jag before going over to help him fit the awkwardly shaped chair into the back of his Jeep.

“Darn thing. How’s that runner?” He asked me and I had to admit that it was still hung up on the side railing.

“Vin, if we put the heavy rockers inside first then even if the back window doesn’t close completely, it will stay inside while we drive.” I hesitated to make the suggestion but for some reason, I could always see how shapes could be reconfigured.

“Let’s try it.” He hauled it out with a jerk, glaring at the wood that was giving him the problem. This time we slid in the back of the rockers and slowly began to rotate the chair into position. Finally it would move no more but Vin had a short bungee cord that kept the back hatch from flying up. “Thanks, Ez’. That works just fine.”

“You start off first, Vin and I’ll follow you home.” I wanted to be sure that the old car didn’t break down in this part of town.

“Worry-wart.” Vin grinned at me but got in and started his engine.

The trip was accident free and it was much easier to get the rocker out then it had been to get it in. The elevator also helped in bringing it up to my floor. It looked rather incongruous amid my modern furniture but then I’d never spent enough time to really sit in any of my chairs for long periods. I could see that my tastes would have to change but then I had a vision of a fat overstuffed leather chair with footstool. It looked very, very comfortable and I could hardly wait to find it.

“Ezra, what are you thinking about so hard?” Vin had placed his photo album on the glass and chrome coffee table. He came over and slid his arms around me.

“I had a vision of a forest green leather chair with footstool.” I confessed with a blush. “A big, fat chair that would hold both of us.”

He laughed out loud and kissed me quickly. “Sounds good to me, Ez’. We got to keep this sofa though. Can’t let it go to strangers after we made out on it.”

It was my turn to laugh and return his kiss. “No indeed, Vin, we couldn’t let it go. But we really need a new table for the dining room so we can fit all the others around it.”

“Shoot, we’ve got to go out to Chris’ tomorrow.” He hugged me close. “I sure hope they don’t mind that I’ve got to touch you at least once every five minutes.”

“The need is mutual, Vin. Very, very mutual.” I leaned in and captured his lips to remind me of his sweet taste. We feasted for a long time before breaking apart to breathe. “We should get ready for bed. I’m feeling a little tired.”

His sharp-eyed gaze passed over me quickly. “I agree. Care to snuggle a little?”

“Always, my angel Vin, always.” I let him lead me back to our bedroom and we undressed each other slowly. I never fail to feel a sense of wonder at his beautiful body. He’s all long lines with sleek muscles and a deceptively thin form, which hides his strength. Curling up under the blankets, I held him close and took a deep breath of Vin-scented air. He appealed to all my senses. Not even the worry about how the others would react the next day could keep me from falling deeply asleep safely held in his arms.

We took the Jeep out to the ranch the next day with the rocker lashed onto the roof. Vin didn’t want me to catch cold and he swore the draft would be too much for such a long drive. He let me tune the radio to the classical station and we listened to Mozart all the way out to Mr. Larabee’s ranch. We held hands most of the way except when he needed to shift gears and I tried to blank my mind so I wouldn’t worry about the impending meeting.

When we pulled in and parked beside the other cars, Vin brought my hand to his lips and kissed it softly. “It will be all right, Ezra. They’re our friends and they want us to be happy. And being with you makes me happy.”

“Oh, Vin, never doubt that being with you makes me happier than I’ve ever been in my life. But this is all so . . . so new to me that I don’t know how to act.” I confessed.

“We were friends first and now that we’re lovers, we can fall back on our friendship to show us how to act.” He suggested.

“I will try, Vin, truly I will try.” I promised him, leaning in and taking a kiss to help me through the next few hours.

He smiled through it and when I opened my door, he made me a promise. “Watch your back, Ezra. I plan on grabbing a hug and a kiss whenever I can.”

Laughing, I helped him unlash the chair and lift it off the roof. By then, Mr. Larabee had come out and was looking askance at us. “Good morning, boys. Just why did you bring a rocking chair with you?”

“Chris, could I use the storage shed to strip her?” Vin widened his eyes and I watched our leader sigh and shake his head.

“Of course you can, Vin. Are you helping him, Ezra?” He shot a keen look at me that seemed to assess my condition. “Those fumes might not be the best thing for you right now.”

“Hey, he’s right, Ez’. Why don’t I put it in there and get the first coat of stripper on while you watch me from a safe distance? It’s the sanding more than anything else that I’ll need help with.” He smiled at me and I would have agreed to almost anything he’d said at that point.

“You’ve got half an hour, boys before the pizzas come out of the oven.” He shook his head and walked back inside.

I carried the cans of stripper, gloves and brushes, following in Vin’s wake. I was still mute but at least I was thinking again. The paralysis of meeting Larabee again was fading away. J.D. joined us five minutes later and we chatted of this and that while Vin slathered on the first coat of stripper. The ugly green showed a faded blue underneath and I wondered how many layers we would find beneath the chipped paint.

Buck joined us shortly thereafter and they eased me into conversation as if they knew how vulnerable I was feeling. I was a very lucky man to have such good friends. Before I knew it, I was laughing at one of Buck’s jokes, which J.D. topped quite neatly, making the big man blink in consternation. I’d always wondered about their friendship and thought that perhaps I could see the early signs of another couple.

It would be interesting to see how it all worked out. We went back into the house where Vin made a beeline for the hall bathroom. Even with the gloves and an old barbecue apron on, the acrid smell of stripper seemed to linger. I leaned in the bathroom doorway and watched him roll up his sleeves and wash all the way up to his elbows. But his sniff brought a frown. 

Stepping into the kitchen, I asked Larabee if he had a t-shirt that Vin could borrow. He told me where to find one in the hall closet. I got it while trying to figure out why he’d keep such a thing in there. It had several holes in it and the neckline was misshapen but Vin greeted it with relief, slipping out of the pretty blue shirt and into the faded navy t-shirt.

I took his and hung it up outside in the fresh air on a hanger rather precariously hung on the railing. There wasn’t much of a breeze so it would hopefully still be there when we left. While I was hanging it up, Nathan arrived and we re-entered together while he quizzed me about how I was feeling and how the appointment at the Clinic had gone. They’d given me a clean bill of health and so I informed him. He clapped me on the shoulder and told me that after lunch he’d take me for a good, long walk around the property.

Vin had warned me about that but I was feeling too good to worry about it. Vin would no doubt come with me and it would be nice to walk with him in the sun, even if it was barely 34 degrees outside. I’d never been one much for nature but he was a fervent advocate and I would share with him whatever I could.

He was waiting for me inside the door and Nathan joked with him about his fashion sense, telling him that he should let me pick his clothes out. I wouldn’t have believed that our medic would be so accepting of our relationship but it seemed he was. The outer world was confusing the hell out of me. The people that I thought I knew were revealing surprising depths of acceptance and compassion.

Perhaps I really had fallen through the looking glass like Alice had. If so, I was never going back. This world was much more to my liking. Larabee was yelling in the kitchen and I took that to mean that the pizzas were ready. I’d brought a salad with us, not that the others would do more than nibble on it. Nathan and I were the only two who seemed to know anything about nutrition.

But I thought that I could get Vin to eat a little more healthily if I just didn’t tell him how nutritious some of my recipes were. It had worked for Grandmother Eugenia and the young boy she took care of each summer. Good Southern cooking didn’t have to harden your arteries. 

I stuck to fruit juice, which I’d also brought with me. I was a little leery of drinking beer again. It would take a while to forget how the badly the last ones had treated me. Vin refused it too and gave me a steely look when I would have protested his abstention. I subsided meekly and none of the others said anything about his choice of beverage. We were all it seemed, feeling our way into this rearrangement of our old relationships.

The hockey game was good but not great since it didn’t have my beloved New Jersey Devils in it. But the Colorado Avalanche were an adequate substitute and it was nicely satisfying to watch them pound the Detroit Red Wings into the ice. I admit to getting just a little excited when Joe Sakic got a hat trick. If the game could no longer have Gretsky, I was willing to admit that the Avalanche captain was the next best thing.

Vin was laughing at me when I pumped my fist in the air and somehow he got his arm around me before I leaned back. When I noticed it, I took a quick look around to see if anyone else had seen it. But no one seemed to care and I curled in just a little so I could feel all of him against that side. He’s such a furnace that I found my eyes resting a little when the second period ended and the inane sports commentators came on.

Before I knew it, Vin was shaking me gently and whispering in my ear that the third period had started. I must have fallen asleep on his shoulder but once again, no one seemed to even notice. The last period was marred by several fights, which held no interest for me. It’s the beauty of the skating and stick handling that keep me watching, not the blood sport that so many of American sporting events had become.

That was not something I shared with the others.

Vin’s finger was tracing my ear, pausing every once in a while and softly pinching the lobe. My jeans were getting uncomfortably tight and I squeezed his knee in warning only to have him smile innocently at me. The little tease. Well, two could play at that game. I let my hand drift to the inside seam of his well-worn jeans, pressing ever so slightly before moving up a little higher.

He retaliated by slipping his index finger into my ear and making me shiver. So, I spread my hand wide and came within two inches of his groin, rubbing back and forth until he began to stir restlessly. The game was barely over before he jumped up and pulled me up with him.

“Let’s start on that walk, Ezra. The sun isn’t going to wait for us and you need a nice long walk in the fresh air.” He was practically dancing with the need to go but when Nathan invited himself along, he sent me a heated look that told me I would just have to wait a little longer for the kiss he was saving for me.

That was all right with me. The team friendships were just as precious to me as he was and they warmed me with their care and concern. J.D. jumped up too and teased Buck into going along. Pretty soon, the entire team decided to go and I just knew that somewhere along the line a snowball would make an appearance and then we’d be in for a free-for-all.

I could hardly wait.

********************   
Vin, part 14  
****************** 

Ezra’s cheeks were bright red and his whole face quivered with the need to laugh out loud but he was trying to keep it inside. I knew I looked pretty ridiculous with all the snow covering me from head to toe. Who knew that a snowball that missed and hit a tree branch could dump so much snow? Buck was cruising for a bruising and I was pretty sure that J.D. would help me out. 

But Ez’ was coming over to brush me off and I knew just how to free his laughter. I let him get close then I pushed him into the drift, following him down so’s I could taste him. It had been way too long since I’d kissed him. His lips parted and drew me in while his hands brushed away the snow from my back, drifting down to my ass and sending little tingles straight to my cock.

I’ve never heated up so fast in my life. 

He swallowed my groan and rolled us so we were side by side. Only the thought that the other guys were about two trees over kept me from growling and laying serious tongue on him. Breaking away from his teasing lips, I panted. “When I get you home, Ezra P. Standish, you are going to be loved within an inch of your life.”

That shy smile was back, the one that told me he still couldn’t quite believe that I meant what I said. But that was okay ‘cause I surely did like showing him.

“I shall look forward to it, Vin,” was all he said with a gentle kiss to my cold lips before sitting up and pulling me up with him.

We brushed each other off and I kept my hands to a gentle tease. He was still a little unsure of the guys and I wasn’t quite sure myself what they would be willing to turn a blind eye to when it came to our touching each other. But that reminded me of Buck and I took a quick look around and spotted J.D. looking kind of wistful at us. So I beckoned him over with a tilt of my head and he came at a trot.

“Bucklin has to pay for that little attack, J.D. You up for a little revenge?” I asked him and watched a big smile cross his lips.

“Payback’s a bitch is what he always says.” He said with a nod.

“You know that you can talk to either of us about any questions you might have, J.D.” Ezra touched his arm hesitantly and I suddenly looked at the youngest member of our team with new eyes.

He’d known where all the gay sites were on the Internet and he’d matter-of-factly signed me onto one that needed registration. It hadn’t even occurred to me that he might have leanings that way. But then, it was all so new to me that I hadn’t had any mind to spare from worrying about Ezra. Now, I put it all together and caught up to where Ez’ already was.

“Shows, huh?” He shrugged and cast a quick look at the tall man who was playfully wrestling with Josiah. “Never going to happen in a million years but . . .” he sighed, “I guess I’ll come to terms with it eventually.”

“Don’t be so quick, J.D. He goes out with the pretty ladies but he always comes home to you.” I said gently while brushing off the last of the snow from Ezra’s shoulders. Then I motioned for both of them to the other side of the big old pine. “Now, here’s the plan.”

And it worked too. Buck was eyeing us when we came around the tree together but Chris distracted him for a vital moment and pretty soon he was buried under about a ton of snow from the tree he’d been standing under. Our aim was impeccable and in the free-for-all that followed, Ezra made sure that J.D. was the one who ended up on top of the ladies’ man.

Now that my eyes were opened, I could see the gentle way that Buck handled the kid and the kind of sad look in the deep blue eyes whenever they looked at him. And suddenly, I wanted to play matchmaker for them. I was so happy that I wanted everyone else to be happy too.

Peace was declared. Eventually. And we all trooped back to the house for hot cocoa and popcorn. Ezra’s eyes were drooping and I could see that the long day had tired him. He hardly protested at all when I asked Chris if he would mind if we used the guestroom for a nap. Nathan took his pulse and listened to his heart before sending us off. We’d all used the spare bedroom at least once and I had fond memories of sleeping here after the whole Munson deal.

I tucked Ezra in after taking off his shoes. Then I rubbed little circles on his temples while he smiled and fell asleep. He’s so beautiful when he’s all relaxed like that and he looks like the angel that he calls me. Once he was safely asleep, I went outside to check on the rocker. The storage shed had solar panels that kept it powered for electricity and I’d flipped the small heater on to keep it at fifty degrees so’s the stripper would keep on working.

The old apron protected me from splatters and I scraped off the first two layers of ugly paint. Not too surprisingly, Buck joined me after a few minutes and we each took a side, working silently together until we had to upend the rocker to get the bottom rungs and rockers. I wondered if I should say something to him about J.D. but I’m not much good with words and I didn’t want to spook him.

“You okay, Vin? That’s a man-sized frown on your face.” He spoke kind of tentative like.

“I’m fine, Buck. Just thinking about something that I’m not sure about.” I got out the stripper and prepared to slather on the next coat. “How do you feel about Ezra and I?”

He chuckled and began cleaning up the scrapers. “You look real good together, Vin. He’s loosening up just fine and you’re smiling more than I’ve ever seen you. To tell the truth, I’m kind of envious.”

I smiled at him, pleased that he could tell me that straight to my face. “I’ve never been so happy, Buck. It’s like he fits all the empty places that I had inside of me, filling me up with love. He wasn’t treated too good by those he loved before.” My knuckles turned white on the brush while I fought down the anger that flooded me at the thought of Tyler Brown. “In fact, there’s an old score to be settled with an asshole who hurt him real bad.”

His eyes narrowed. “What’s his name and why do we need to kill him?”

I took a deep breath, which was a mistake with all the fumes in there. The cough started and wouldn’t hardly stop until Buck threw open the door and let some of the chill air in. “Th-thanks. Let’s get this finished and head inside before we gas ourselves to death.”

He nodded and we tidied up, leaving everything in its proper place. I’d scrape off this coat before we headed home then I’d have to come back in a couple of days to finish the job. But Ezra would be with me and that would make our trip out fun. Maybe we’d even get to go riding like we’d talked of. Buck shortened his stride to mine while we walked back to the house and I debated whether or not I should tell him about Brown.

It was a private part of Ezra’s life that I was pretty sure he wouldn’t want to share with anyone but me. “Buck, it’s private but I may need a little help once I find him. I’ll let you know.”

“Okay, but if you need to talk, I’m here for both of you.” His eyes still had that sad look in them and I spoke up before I could stop myself.

“How about you, Buck? Anything you want to talk about?”

He looked real startled at me and I could see that devil-may-care mask slip into place. “Nope, Junior, I’m just fine. Never better. Why do you ask?”

“Oh, no reason. I’m going to go check on Ezra.” I just smiled at him and slipped down the hall to wash my hands first. He was still asleep and I knelt by the bed so I could watch him. A lock of that silky dark hair had fallen onto his forehead and when I brushed it back, he smiled and leaned into my hand.

Silly, but that innocent little gesture told me more than anything else that he trusted me on a level even deeper than he might realize during his waking moments. And I vowed to him silently that he’d never regret loving me or letting me love him. My fingers slid through the waves that persisted no matter how much he tried to smooth them out. He sighed gently and I couldn’t help but lean up to kiss him softly.

“Vin.” 

The sleepy whisper hardened me instantly. “Hey, Sleeping Beauty, I guess those kisses really do work.”

He chuckled and reached up to bring my mouth back to his. Ezra always tasted good but right then, he tasted of that ambrosia he’d told me about. When he drew me up onto the bed on top of him, I felt an answering hardness at his groin. I wasn’t quite sure about the etiquette of making love in somebody else’s house but I was willing to find out.

“Vin, I don’t know if we should be doing this in Mr. Larabee’s guest room.” He stopped me with his hesitant whisper while I was investigating the sensitive patch of skin at the hollow of his throat.

“I locked the door behind me when I came in.” I said hopefully and he chuckled again.

“Why then I believe that we should partake of our pleasure, Vin. But I need to see a little more of you.” His pout went straight to my heart.

So I got up and slowly stripped away my clothes while I watched his eyes go hot and sultry. And that made me feel ten feet tall. But once I was naked, I pounced on him and stripped him bare. The feel of skin against skin slowed us to a leisurely exploration and he showed me another variation when he got us turned around so we could pleasure each other at the same time.

He tasted better than popcorn and I drank him down like my favorite Coors when he released into my eager mouth. He was trembling all over and I hugged him close and waited for him to come back to me. I could wait until then for my own release, licking the sweat slick skin of his inner thighs to make sure I didn’t miss anything.

A wet tongue licking my balls told me that he was ready to torment me some more and he pushed me onto my back so he could hold me down while he returned my teasing touches until I was in a fever of need. Biting my hand so I didn’t make any noise, I finally burst deep in his throat. He cleaned my cock with his tongue with the same fervor that I’d felt a few moments earlier.

“I can truthfully say that I’ve never enjoyed a visit to this ranch more.” His wondering voice made me laugh out loud and I squirmed around until I could taste his lips. We kissed for a long time until I noticed that he was shivering.

“Hey, Ez’, why don’t we get dressed and go sit out by the fire?” 

“Good idea, Vin. Don’t you have to clean off the stripper from your rocker?” He looked all tousled propped up on one elbow and I thought about how much I loved seeing that satisfied look in his eyes.

“Did that while you were sleeping, Ez’. Buck helped me scrape off the top two coats. Right now it’s a really gross orange, probably from the seventies. We’ll scrape off that layer before we go home.” I told him and watched his eyes go wide before he looked at the bedside clock.

“I slept for two hours?”

“Yep, you sure did. And if that’s Josiah’s chili that I can smell, you woke up just in time for dinner.” I rolled out of bed and held out my hand to him, pulling him upright and close to me. Stealing another kiss, I felt him smile and knew that he was happy. 

“Vin, I believe that I will have a very hard time to keep from smiling at dinner.” He slid his hands around my waist. 

“Me too, Ez’. The others will be jealous.” I searched and found the clothes that I’d flung every which way in my hurry to get naked. “Here’s your pants, Ezra. Where are your boxers?”

“The last I saw of them was,” he was kneeling by the bed and he bent over to fish for them while I quietly lusted after those firm white cheeks he was mooning me with. “Here they are. Oh.”

He turned and saw my lustful look, blushing and dropping his eyes. I never wanted him thinking that he’d done something wrong when it came to loving me so I pulled him up and into my arms for a kiss. I love the way he opens to me right away as if he can’t hardly wait to taste me. Both our cocks decided to wake up a bit and I loved the way they slid together, like they were made for each other.

“Oh, Vin, I do love you.” Those green eyes of his were filled with wonder and I felt real proud that I was the one who made him look like that.

“I love you too, Ezra. Don’t you ever doubt that. Now, we better get dressed before I’m forced to find out if Chris keeps lubricant in the guest bathroom.” I watched for his blush and he didn’t disappoint me. But his eyes danced for me and I knew that I’d be chastised most severely once we were safe at home.

Home. I was thinking of Ezra’s place as home. Funny how that happened right out of the blue. I found myself dressed while still thinking about how amazing that was. Life sure does have a way of surprising you sometimes. Ez’ was dressed as well and was waiting patiently for me to come back to him.

“Sorry, Ezra, but I just realized that I think of your place as home now.” I grinned at him and his eyes lit up.

“Vin, where ever you are, that’s where my home will always be.” His southern drawl flowed like honey over my hearing and I just couldn’t resist pulling him into my arms for another kiss.

But a knock at the door interrupted us and I had a flash of unease that was echoed in Ezra if the frown line between his eyes was any indication. “Vin?”

“Be right with you, Chris.” I let Ezra go reluctantly and wondered for a moment if the heater in the shed had started a fire or something. Three long paces and I had the door open to find Chris frowning real bad. “What’s up?”

“Officer Logan had police dispatch call here. He discovered a fire in your apartment building. It looks real bad. They said it was a code five.”

I heard Ezra exclaim from beside me while all the time I was thinking about the photo album that I’d taken over to Ezra’s. It would have been toast if he hadn’t had that premonition. He was thinking about that too when I looked at him so I found a smile and kissed him gently.

“Guess you’re right, Ez’. Home is where you are.” Then I turned back to Chris. “Anybody hurt?”

“Didn’t say. But we should probably get over there to see what’s what.” He was back to being the team leader who planned ahead and took care of the details. “The other guys are ready to go. We’re taking my truck and Josiah’s van.”

And just like that, we were on our way to Purgatorio. Officer Logan had been right. It was bad. Chris flashed his ATF badge and got to the fire chief while I found Mrs. Gomez and her kids safe and sound with Sister John of the Sisters of Mercy. With them was 80 year old Mr. Frick, minus his hearing aid with Sister Jimenez hollering into his good ear. All the neighbors were present and accounted for except for 78 year old Mrs. Silk who’d breathed some smoke and already been taken to Denver General.

It could have been a lot worse. None of us had many material possessions but little Rosa Gomez was crying quietly because her teddy bear had burned up. I’d bought twelve of them for the Sisters to give out at Christmas and I made a mental note to replace hers as soon as possible.

Ezra stood by my side through out the whole grim process. I could feel him supporting me while I watched the building that had been home for four years burn to the ground. You would have thought that all the snow that had fallen in the last month would have helped put it out but there wasn’t enough snow in the whole world to put out those greedy flames. The firemen weren’t even trying anymore, just hosing down the side buildings to keep them from catching fire too.

“Son, there’s nothing more we can do here.” Josiah’s comforting rumble and gentle hand on my shoulder broke into my confused thoughts. “Why don’t you let Chris take you and Ezra home? I brought my chili with us and the good Sisters are going to feed everyone at their Mission before putting them to bed.”

“Yeah, that would be good.” I knew that there wasn’t anything more I could do but it felt wrong to just turn my back on what remained of the building. “Ezra?”

“We’ll heat up something at home, Vin.” He was right there, the way he always was for me. “Tomorrow will be soon enough to worry about the rest of it. Let’s go home, Vin.”

I just nodded. Taking a last look at what had once been home, I let Josiah and Ezra lead me back to the black truck and Chris. It was a short trip but I kept a hold of Ez’s hand the whole way. I didn’t know why it felt so hollow inside of me. It was just a place like any other place that I’d lived in for the last 28 years. Maybe it was shock or remorse or guilt that I had someplace else to go while my neighbors didn’t.

I just knew that there was an empty spot inside of me that needed filling.

We were quiet the whole way up in the elevator and into the apartment. I could still smell the stink of smoke in my hair. This time it was my turn to shiver and not be able to stop but Ezra was right there to hold me. He rocked me in his strong arms while I rested my head on his shoulder and held onto him with all my strength.

“I know it hurts, Vin but I’m so grateful that you weren’t there when it happened or I might have lost you.” His whisper went straight to my heart. “Let’s shower away the smell then I’ll feed you some of my favorite soup.”

I managed a nod and he led me into the bathroom. We stripped hurriedly and he bundled the clothes up and disappeared for a moment before returning. The water was hot and slowly but surely the smoky smell faded, especially once he soaped my hair with his strong fingers. He massaged my scalp until I was purring for him. He liked that and when I opened my eyes, I caught his beautiful smile.

“You are just a big old cat, Vin.” He rinsed me carefully, making sure that no soap got into my eyes and I felt tears well at his caring touch.

“Love you, Ezra, so much.” 

“And I love you, my angel Vin. Now, let’s get dry. It’s my turn to bring you dinner in bed.” He turned off the water and we dried off before pulling on the robes that hung on the back of the door.

The apartment was still really warm and I welcomed the too hot air while little shivers raced all over me. My brain told me that was just the aftereffects of shock but my skin was rippling all over and I stayed as close to Ezra as I could get, wrapping my arms around him while he heated up some soup from the freezer in the microwave. He hummed while he worked and I soaked up the sound like it was the air I needed to breathe.

We ate the soup and oyster crackers in bed, sharing a big bowl and feeding each other every other bite. Ezra left briefly to take the dirty dish away and move the clothes from the washer to the drier. Then he slid under the covers with me and I had him skin to skin. It felt like heaven to feel his wiry curls against my almost hairless chest. He was kissing me everywhere with soft sucking kisses that branded me with his mark.

I needed that, needed to know that I was his and he’d never let me go. Reaching a long arm over to the bedside table, I grabbed the tube of lubricant and pressed it into his hand. He looked hard at me but I nodded and flipped up the cap. Ezra’s eyes went that sultry green that told me that I was going to be loved into the mattress.

And I was.

He was so careful, stretching me wider and wider until the empty spot inside of me spasmed open and took him in. His cock slid inside of me like he’d never been away and I groaned at how good he felt. I liked this position even better than the side-by-side one. Ezra was real slow with his thrusts and pretty soon I was burning hotter than the fire we’d just come from. I was panting at the pain/pleasure and when I flexed around him, he caught his breath and speeded up.

He burned me right down to the ground and I pulsed out my seed all over his stomach and mine. His weight anchored me to the bed and even though my arms felt like they had weights attached, I still held him to me. I wasn’t ever letting go. His soft lips ghosted over my skin and his tongue lapped the sweat from the hollow at the base of my throat.

“Love you, Vin. Thank you for loving me.” His murmur was so soft that I almost didn’t hear him.

“Love you, too. Loving you just keeps getting better, Ezra.” I traced his spine with my fingers and he arched up into them like the cat he’d compared me to. “I’m thinking that when we get our new place we better go looking for a watch-cat to guard it.”

“A watch-cat?” He raised his head to look at me.

“Sure, with both of us being cats, we’d just confuse a poor old dog.” I said innocently.

He snorted once before burying his head in my shoulder and beginning to laugh. I grinned to myself and went back to smoothing his spine. But when I slid them over those beautiful ass cheeks of his, he hiccuped and wiggled. That was enough to push him all the way out of me and we both groaned. But he rolled me over to check my entrance, laying a little kiss there when he found no blood.

“Rest right there while I get something to clean us up.” He kissed my shoulder and I watched him walk gracefully out of the room, thinking how very lucky I was.

Flexing my inner muscles, I pondered why something that hurt could also feel good. Being connected to Ezra through his flesh wasn’t something I’d ever thought about but I liked it. I liked it a lot and I wanted it again. But I also liked being inside of him. Just thinking about that had my cock thinking about rising again. Chuckling to myself, I reached down a hand to gently touch myself, imagining that my fingers were Ezra’s muscles flexing around me.

“Oh, that’s the most beautiful sight I’ve ever seen.” Ezra stood in the doorway with a wet cloth in one hand. “Vin, you’re my very own Apollo, come to Earth.”

“Godlike, huh?” I grinned and held out my hand. “Then you must be Hermes. Ma always said that the god of messengers was a southern gentleman.”

He laughed out loud and joined me on the bed. “More than ever, Vin, I wish I could have met your mother. She must have been a great lady.”

“She was, Ez’. And she would have liked you. I think she had as many stories inside of her as you do.” I stretched all over while he cleaned my stomach. His touch soon had me wiggling and he threw the washcloth onto the bedside table before handing me the lube.

“My turn, Vin, give me your strength and gentleness.” He lay down beside me and shot me a heated look that could only be called ‘come-hither’. 

And just like that, I was hard as a rock. So I knelt between his legs and leaned in to taste him while he shivered and clutched the sheet. Getting him ready was fun but soon he was on his hands and knees, pleading with me to come inside. Sliding into him isn’t like anything else in the world. The room, the apartment . . . hell, the whole city disappears and leaves just the two of us.

I might have lost an apartment but never my home. Wherever Ezra was, that was home and always would be. I was the luckiest man in the whole world because Ezra loved me. Ma was right, home is where your heart is.

**********************


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They start to build anew.

****************   
Ezra, part 15  
**************** 

We had to visit three toy stores before we found one that had a teddy bear identical to the one that little Rosa had lost to the fire. I stuck to Vin like glue, wondering when he’d realize that all his possessions were gone. But as the morning wore on, I listened to him joke about his favorite t-shirt from the U2 concert he’d attended in 1989 and an old wooden spoon that had been seasoned with a hundred stews. 

And I gradually came to understand that we had very different ideas about the possessions in our lives. His had stories behind the mostly found items while mine had monetary value that was either increasing or might someday. More than anything else, that brought out our very different upbringings. He told me once that he was in fourteen different foster homes between the death of his mother and the day he turned sixteen.

I was most often with Grandmother Eugenia, in between visits with Maude and her current husband. But for me, home was the small house in Tarboro, Georgia. I’d been luckier than I knew and I blessed the memory of the white-haired woman who’d taught me so many of life’s simpler lessons. Stand up straight. Be polite. Always say thank you. And don’t gobble your food.

“What has you smiling, Ez’?” Vin’s voice interrupted my thoughts and I reached a hand over to his leg.

“Just thinking about Grandmother Eugenia and all the things she taught me. I never had a teddy bear growing up but I’m glad that little Rosa will have hers.” I parked the Jag beside the Mission.

“Never?” He was looking at me with sad eyes and I hastened to disabuse him of the notion that I’d been abused.

“Maude wasn’t a stuffed animal kind of person. But Grandmother had a big old tomcat named Clancy and when I went to stay with her, he’d always come to my room and sleep with me. She’d harrumph every morning when she came to wake me up but Clancy would just stalk regally from the room with his tail high and she’d laugh at my guilty look.” I could see that old yellow tomcat so clearly.

“That’s a good memory, Ez’. Maybe we’ll find a cat who looks like him.”

“For our guard-cat?” I teased him and he just grinned at me before getting out of the car.

“Of course.” He’d already removed the tags from the small white bear with the red knitted muffler and I saw the little girl race to him from just inside the door. Vin got down to one knee and I rolled down the window in time to hear him tell her that this was her bear’s sister who needed a good home.

She almost strangled him with her hug and I sighed at the beautiful picture they made together. I’d always thought that he would make an excellent father and for one very scary month, I’d been afraid that Charlotte would take him away from the team so they could start a family.

Frankly, children rather scared me. I never knew what to say or do around them, afraid to speak down to them or worse, baffle them with too erudite language. I was hoping to keep that little foible from Vin but knowing my luck, it was bound to come out sooner rather than later. But not today, today he was checking with the good Sister on the welfare of the others before striding back to me.

I have never seen anyone who moves more gracefully than he. He was made for the wide-open spaces, not the closed in milieu of concrete and tall buildings. I’ve often fancied that he could have been a cowboy of the Old West magically transported to the modern day. Something in the way he moves makes me want to abandon the city and move to the country where I can watch him stride the land, free at last.

But I am a man of the city and I doubted that I could adapt to such a life. It was just one of the many fears that I harbored about this relationship. However, I had promised him to try and be more open about my feelings so I would do my best. And I fervently hoped that my best would be good enough.

“Deep thoughts, Ez’.” He slid in beside me and his hand reached for mine.

“Are you sure that you want to try living in the city? You came from the open spaces and that’s where your heart lies.” I had promised him my honesty.

He grasped my cold hand in his warm grip. “Home is wherever you are, Ezra.”

I will never get used to hearing that. “I love you, Vin.”

That beautiful smile lit up his whole face. “Love you, too. Now, are we going to go looking for a new place for both of us?”

“Your wish is my command.” I let go of him reluctantly. “The warehouses are eight blocks from here. The property manager is on site overseeing the workmen. There are six buildings all together but four front on a small abandoned lot that could be landscaped into a common green space.”

“Sounds interesting. Why do you know about them, Ez’?” He watched me the way I’d watched him while he was driving.

“I dislike renting when I can buy. If there’s one thing that Mother taught me, it’s to create assets for the future. I bought a small apartment building in Atlanta while I was with the FBI. Still own it actually. The rents pay for a manager and upkeep.” I risked a glance at him and immediately saw the little frown line between his eyes. “Vin, you have to remember that I’ve been undercover for most of my career. When would I get to spend any of my salary? It made more sense to invest it then to just let it sit in the bank.”

“But what about when you weren’t? Meals, shows, stuff like that.” He had turned as far towards me as the seatbelt would let him.

“I ate out occasionally and bought new clothes but until I moved here, I never had . . . friends with whom I could do things. Shows and ‘stuff like that’ aren’t much fun when you’re there alone. Usually I’d just curl up with a good book and enjoy being myself again instead of whatever character I’d been playing for months on end.” I pulled up by the site with the most contractor trucks.

“Damn, Ezra, I knew that they used you hard while you were with them but we haven’t been much better, have we?” Vin can still amaze me. Just like that he was all right with my money but instead worried about my time undercover.

“It’s what I do best, Vin. I wouldn’t be of much use to the Team if I didn’t go undercover.” I tried not to let my weariness show but he knows me too well.

“No, Ez’. It’s not what you’re best at.” He took my hand in his. “Loving me is what you’re best at.”

What an astonishing thing to say. The love in his beautiful blue eyes shone at me like a beacon. I raised his hand to my lips and nestled a kiss in his palm. “I do love you, Vin.”

“I know you do, Ezra, and I love you, too. Now, let’s go in and see what they’re doing.” He let me go and got out while I was still savoring those lovely words. We really don’t say ‘I love you’ enough.

But I soon joined him at the entrance and the manager was more than glad to show us around. Several of the lofts were already sold in the first two buildings so I asked him to take us around the building that had sold none. The northern warehouse was empty and derelict. The few openings were boarded up with weather beaten plywood. No heat only underscored the cold dank smells of neglect and abuse.

But . . . there was something mournful about the space revealed by our echoing footsteps. The manager was smart enough to give us the facts about the structural supports and power supply before letting us explore. There was an old freight elevator and after ascertaining the safety of using it, he let us take it up alone. It was four stories high, the same as the others. The elevator groaned and clanked but moved us upward. We headed for the top floor, intent on working our way down one floor at a time. 

“It’s kind of eerie up here, Ez’.” Vin was prowling through the vast expanse of grimy floor. Kneeling, he rubbed a spot clean and looked up at me with the first hint of excitement he’d shown since we walked into the building. “It’s oak, Ez’. Why would they use good wood like that in a warehouse?”

“It was built in 1903, Vin, which explains some of the anomalies I can see. They hadn’t yet started cutting corners on a wholesale level in construction.” I opened a door and found a small bathroom with a toilet and old sink that hung on the wall. “Plus, I think this may have been the office floor. The Boystand Company imported spices and tea from the Orient. The spices would have been worth a lot of money at the turn of the century and storing them on the top floor would have been a sensible security move.”

“Yeah, I knew there was something different in the air up here that I didn’t smell downstairs. Would it cost a lot to put more windows in these brick walls?” He looked at the only source of light high on the south wall, a set of six clerestory windows.

“Not really but the higher windows provide light and privacy at the same time.” I was pacing the floor to get an accurate measure of the size. “Check the ceiling for signs of leaking, would you, Vin? I’m not seeing any damage on the floor. Staining can be sanded out but I’d just as soon not have the roof fall in on us when we’re in the middle of something important.”

He laughed out loud. “Be a real interesting excuse for why we were late for work, wouldn’t it? Hey, there’s a spiral staircase behind this door.”

I looked up and crossed to him. “Probably roof access. I wonder how sturdy it is?”

“Only one way to find out.” He put his foot on the dusty black iron and gingerly shifted all his weight onto it. Another step then he was moving slowly but surely up the black steps that curved so gracefully above us. At the top, he rattled the door handle before putting his shoulder against it and giving a forceful push.

My heart was in my mouth but the door popped open and he disappeared onto the roof.

“This is great, Ezra, come up and see.” His voice beckoned me up and I trod lightly up the two-foot wide treads of twisted iron. Except for a slight vibration, it proved to be as sturdily built as the rest of this old building.

Not really surprising for turn of the century construction and one of the reasons I’d had my eye on the area. But when I stepped out onto the roof and saw Vin silhouetted against the cold gray sky, I knew that we’d found a place where we could both be happy. A vision of what a rooftop garden would look like in summer with trellis-trained flowers and dwarf fruit trees blossoming.

“Ez’?” Vin had moved up beside me and his voice was worried. I gave him my vision and he took another look around with a smile. “Yeah, I can see it, too. Guess we should have someone come in and do a structural survey to see if it could take the weight of pots and dirt. Maybe we could have a gazebo with privacy screens so we could make love in the open air without shocking anybody?”

I laughed out loud and hugged him close. “I love the way you think, Vin. Let’s go back in and see the other floors. I don’t want any surprises.”

“Yeah, I want to see what they look like.” He squeezed me once and started down the stairs at break-neck speed. He never did like waiting around. There were days when I wished I could share in that energy.

The other two floors were more cluttered up with plywood partitions but they’d be easily removed. The oak flooring continued throughout the building and the lighting was totally inadequate for modern living. After finding only one outlet on the entire third floor, I mentally made a note to check the electrical service and added another $100,000 to the restoration bill.

The nice thing about that note was all the energy efficient appliances and solar advances that would help in keeping the price of electricity down to an affordable level. I really didn’t mind paying a little more up front because the payback time was getting shorter and shorter with the rise of energy costs. When we got back to the first level, I spoke with the manager while Vin did a through survey of that floor.

The $1.3 million price tag wasn’t bad for Denver and I asked him to send me a prospectus listing the history of the building and all the pertinent legal documents. Luckily, Vin didn’t hear that and I wondered if I’d be able to keep it from him. I knew that all that money would definitely spook him. He liked paying cash for things instead of buying on time and I agreed with that philosophy. If I sold the apartment building in Georgia, I’d have enough to buy this building with hopefully enough left over for restoration. Otherwise, I could cash in some securities.

Once we were back in the Jag, Vin took a last look at the square building. “I can see us there, Ezra. Making a home and living real contented lives.”

And just like that, I made a mental note to call my lawyer and sell the Atlanta property. If Vin liked this building then here is where we would live. And perhaps we could sell one of the floors to Buck and J.D., after we got the two of them together. Smiling, I directed Pegasus to Miss Daisy’s for lunch. The next few months were going to be very exciting.

***   
My lawyer, Mr. Kennedy, had a buyer for the Atlanta property within the space of a day. I was a little shocked at the sale price but it seemed that a corporation had plans for that area. Even so, $3.8 million seemed excessive for thirty-two apartments. I called the holding company and told them to call him for the buying arrangements. While I was settling back in at work, the lawyers arranged everything between themselves and within the week, I was the owner of 221 Adams St.

At the moment of that phone call, however, we were in the middle of the Munson investigation at work and I could only sigh in satisfaction before hanging up and getting back to work. Vernon was proving to be a gold mine of depravity, especially when the Mafia connection turned up. There seemed to be nothing too dirty for him to be involved in. But it was the two bodies that turned up that were going to hopefully send him down for the rest of his natural life.

Vin and I went down to the library floor to see Miss Clover about the old files covering the disappearance of the young men. She hugged me hard when I walked in and I returned it with a smile.

“You had me scared to death, young man. I’m so glad that you survived intact.” She let me go and sniffed just a little. “And Vin, I was so sorry to hear about your loss. Do you have a place to stay?”

“He does, indeed.” I placed an arm around her shoulders. “Your plot worked very well, ma’am. My love wasn’t hopeless at all and we both owe you our thanks for helping to get us together.”

She glanced up at me with a quirk of her lips. “Sussed me out, did you? What gave me away?”

“What! Ezra, what are you talking about?” Vin looked back and forth between us with a bewildered look on his face.

“Miss Clover is the person who left me the rose and did such a fine job embroidering my scarf.” I bent down just a bit and kissed her cheek. “The old fashioned rose came from your window garden, didn’t it? The scent was a dead giveaway that it was homegrown and not commercially produced.”

“Darn, I was afraid that might give it away.” She patted my hand and looked at Vin with a smile. “The two of you were just so right together but I had to wake you up first, young man. My matchmaking skills were a little rusty but I thought a hint of danger might just do the trick.”

“You disabled Betsy, too?” Vin was starting to catch on and his look of disbelief was changing to delight.

“I always knew that class in automotive maintenance would come in handy someday.” Her grin was nothing short of impish and I watched my lover lose the battle to stay sober. Taking her free hand in his, he bent and kissed it in between laughing.

“Ma’am, you are an angel in disguise.” He looked at me and his whole heart was there in his eyes. I melted under that undisguised look of love. “Thanks to you, I have everything I ever wanted, someone who loves me and who I love more than life itself.”

My eyes misted and I held out my other hand, meeting his warm grasp. “And I can finally hold the man I love and know that I am loved in return.”

She sniffed again. “You are very lucky men and I want you to promise me that you won’t let anything come between you. Talk to each other about everything, good or bad, and hold each other close. Real love takes some work but it’s worth all the effort.”

“We will, ma’am.” Vin leaned in and kissed her cheek. “Thank you.”

“You’re most decidedly welcome. Now, why did you come down to see this old lady?” She patted his hand and let it go.

“Not so old, Emma.” A deep voice from the doorway brought us all three around to face him.

And there was Michael Munson, grayer than he was in the videotape but still whipcord thin with a barely leashed energy that seemed to fill the room. His face looked a little tired as if he’d been traveling nonstop for several days and if I wasn’t mistaken, that’s exactly what he’d been doing.

“Michael.” Miss Clover leaned into me just a little and I held her up until she could get over the shock of seeing her long lost lover. “How did you hear?”

“A Mr. Larabee contacted the mission where I was staying and asked me to come back.” He couldn’t take his eyes off of her although he’d checked us both out with lightning looks of assessment. “It was time that I stopped running away and came back to face the truth.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Munson. My name is Ezra Standish and this is Vin Tanner.” I squeezed Miss Clover’s shoulder and let my arm drop. “Mr. Larabee is our team leader and when you’re ready to speak with him, please come up to the seventh floor.”

“How do you know I haven’t already done so?” The little grin was pure Munson and I found myself responding to it.

Holding out my hand, I shook his with a smile of my own. “After twenty years away, seeing Miss Clover would definitely be your first priority.”

Vin chuckled and followed me in shaking hands with the man who looked like an older edition of himself. “We’ll put out the gone-to-lunch sign.”

Taking a last peek over my shoulder, I saw Michael hold out his hand and Emma take it hesitantly. Vin and I locked the outer door behind us before grinning at each other like a pair of idiots. I don’t pray often but I sent up a quick petition to Kwan Yin for mercy and compassion for the pair we’d just left.

We had too much energy to wait for the elevator so we took the stairs, all the while wondering out loud what they might be talking about. I held out the possibility that he’d been in love with her all the time but too ashamed to tell her after he’d run away from Vernon. Vin agreed that might be true but the ten years might have been a factor to such a young man.

Still speculating, we entered our offices to find the others waiting for us. A quick look told me that it wasn’t business but definitely pleasure that had them grinning. Buck was perched on the edge of his desk and he was the one who told us what had them all so chipper.

“Well boys, it looks like the prosecutor is going to go for three counts of murder one and racketeering charges. He won’t be coming out any time soon.”

And that was good news in more ways than one. It meant the pair of older lovers two floors down had the chance at a future without fear. I accepted Mr. Larabee’s handshake and quiet commendation while Vin allowed himself to be hugged by Buck. Even Josiah was exuberant and I came in for one of his famous bearhugs. Plans were made to meet at Inez’ that evening then we broke up to finish our paperwork.

Every time the door opened, I looked up expecting to see Michael Munson but it was two hours later that he finally arrived. The look of peace on his face was just what I was hoping to see. I ushered him into Mr. Larabee’s office and stayed to go over the case with the pair of them.

When Judge Travis called down that he wanted to see Mr. Munson, I volunteered to take him to his offices. Once on the elevator, I found my gaze caught by his. “Just don’t hurt her, Mr. Munson. She’s one of our favorite people and the entire team would be most upset if anything happened to make her unhappy.”

He chuckled. “I wasted twenty years, Mr. Standish. I’m not about to waste the next forty. She’s the reason that I never married. I just moved from one crisis to another, trying to help where I could and all the time wishing she was with me. But it wouldn’t have been fair to her so I convinced myself that it was better this way. That was the coward in me talking. If I hurt her again, you have my permission to come after me.”

I smiled and ushered him into the Judge’s waiting room. It looked like my favorite librarian had finally won the jackpot. Excusing myself, I headed back downstairs. This matchmaking was addictive and I had the urge to practice it on an unsuspecting Buck. With Vin’s help, I thought we could open his eyes to the love of his life who was just waiting for him. This could be fun, I thought, catching Vin’s eye and tilting my head towards the conference room.

Sauntering past the others, I went in and waited for my own dearest love to join me. It had been exactly two hours since I last kissed him and I needed to feed my addiction. My blue-eyed love shut the door behind him before coming into my arms and leaning in for our first kiss that afternoon. His taste and scent filled my senses and I held him hard against me.

If we locked the door, I could fulfill a fantasy that I’d often had about having him on top of the gleaming conference table. I thought that maybe he would indulge me unless he had a fantasy or two of his own we could fulfill. Our matching bulges portended a fast but satisfying afternoon quickie.

I wondered if I could find a recording of ‘Afternoon Delight’ to play on Pegasus’ stereo, but Vin was backing me up towards the table and I concentrated instead on 

. . . driving him

. . . completely 

. . . and totally

. . . insane.

*******************  
Vin, part 16  
******************* 

I knew we shouldn’t be doing this here at work but something about his scent was driving me crazy. Maybe it was seeing him and Michael get along so well that was making me jealous. I didn’t know exactly why but I just knew that I had to erase any other touch but mine. He’d been lit up most of the morning after a phone call that had brought out his biggest smile. All he would say was that it was a surprise and he’d tell me later.

Now wasn’t the time but I needed to remind him that we were going home together. His lips were opening under me and I finally tasted him. I will never get used to his taste or the little sounds he makes when we are locked together like this. I wanted to eat him alive, which flashed a picture into my mind that had my cock all but jumping to attention.

Ezra, naked on the conference table while I took his cock deep inside my mouth and drove him absolutely crazy. 

Or maybe Ezra fully dressed sitting in one of the chairs with just his zipper open so that great big cock of his stood out against his dark gray suit. 

I had him backed up to the table but his hands were busy pulling out my shirttail so his fingers could slide over my skin. I all but came in my pants when he slid a long finger down my crease. He swallowed my groan and pulled just a bit away to look at me. He was all tousled and his eyes twinkled up at me. “Vin, we can’t continue this right now but I promise that one of these days, we’ll come in here, lock the door and make love right on the table.”

Little shivers raced up my spine along with those elegant fingers of his. “Promise, Ez’?”

“I promise, my Angel-Vin. We’d better get back out there or Mr. Larabee will be knocking on that door.” He leaned in and took a deep breath. “I just needed a Vin-fix to get me through the rest of the day.”

“Me, too.” I gently touched my lips to his for one last connection before I stepped away and tucked my shirt back in.

He ran his fingers through his hair and I had an instant urge to do the same thing but I kept my hands to myself with an effort. Ezra seemed to understand, smiling at me and running his hand gently over my cheek. “Soon, my Vin, we’ll be going home soon.”

The day seemed to last forever. But when we went down to the garage, we saw Miss Clover and Michael getting into her old Honda. Her smile lit up the whole garage and I heard Ezra sigh. But when I looked at him, his smile was just as bright. Without another word, we got in Pegasus and drove home. I couldn’t stop touching him and it felt like I’d been hard all afternoon when we pulled into his parking spot.

“Vin, it should take us approximately four minutes to get inside our front door. Can you wait that long?” He had my hand in his and his lips grazed my palm almost making me come right there.

“Barely. Let’s hurry.” I got a good grip on my will power and got out on my side. It felt like my jeans were strangling me and I just knew I was walking funny.

We’d no sooner gotten into the apartment than Ezra pinned me up against the door and kissed me like we’d been apart for a month instead of a few hours. His kiss almost distracted me from the aching relief of having my jeans unzipped, his warm hand fishing my cock out. Then he was dropping to his knees and I thought I’d died and gone to heaven.

Whether its words or action, his mouth is a deadly weapon. I knew I was already leaking and he sucked hard once before deep-throating me. Swallowing around me almost made me come but he pressed that nerve and went back to sliding me in and out of his hot, wet mouth. I was shaking all over and the door was the only thing holding me up, well that and my locked knees. But when he rubbed his tongue over my crown, the roughness was all I needed to let go.

I pulsed out my seed forever. When he finally let me go, I slid down the door and hit the floor with a plop. He pulled me close and kissed me gently, sharing my taste with me. I didn’t taste as good as he did but then nothing did. When I opened my eyes, I started to laugh. 

“What?” His smile was tinged just a bit with uncertainty.

“We haven’t even taken off our coats.” I chuckled and used the green scarf to draw him closer. Kissing him hard, I felt him smile. Letting go for the moment, I looked into his eyes and shook my head. “Fifty years from now, I will still think you’re the sexiest man in the universe.”

He stilled, looking startled and a little disbelieving, then he blushed. “Fifty years is a long time, Vin, but I agree . . . I will always know that I made off with the most beautiful man on the planet.”

I chuckled, pulling him closer for another kiss. But when I felt him shiver, I knew we had to move. Even if it wasn’t a ‘cold’ shiver, I didn’t want him having a relapse. “Ez’, how about we take off our coats and you let me take care of that dangerous . . . weapon I can feel in your pants?”

He blushed again and smiled at me. “That would be a very good first step. But I’ll need something more. I need you to make . . . make love to me tonight. If you don’t mind?”

It took me a moment to figure out what he meant but when I did, I could feel my cock agreeing wholeheartedly. Being inside of him felt better then anything I’d ever felt in my whole life except maybe for him taking me. “I think that sounds like the best idea you’ve had today. We’ll need to eat something real nourishing so’s we’ll both have enough . . . energy to do it right.”

He laughed and stood up, pulling me up with him. “Nourishing, it is.”

I undressed him right there in the foyer, well, the top layers anyway. But I didn’t let him get any further than the couch before I had that nice big cock of his out of the gray suit pants. He’s so beautiful there, tall and thick with a velvet crown that reminded me of a ripe plum. When I took him into my mouth, he shivered all over. I hadn’t yet figured out how to relax those muscles that the Book talked about so’s I could take him all the way in like he had me but I’d figure it out eventually.

He didn’t seem to be feeling the lack if his little moans were any indication. I loved reducing him to sounds instead of words. He told me once that the whole world went away when we loved each other. I liked that thought. Then he quoted some famous poet and I made him promise me that he’d read me the whole poem some day. Maybe tonight would be a good time.

The little pulse in his cock sped up and I knew he was close. He was gripping the couch with a death grip that had me smiling. So I sucked real hard and tongue washed his crown, listening for that keening cry that he always gave before he let go. I pulled back a little when it came so’s I could taste him better. His whole body jerked and I swallowed again and again until he’d gone limp.

He’s real sensitive then and I cradled his cock gently so the cloth and zipper wouldn’t hurt him. “Vin, you were inspired. What were you thinking about?”

“You remember that poem about a room and the world that you quoted to me a while back? I was thinking that maybe you could read it to me tonight.” I kissed the head of his cock before tucking him away in the snow-white boxers he always wore.

“What a good idea, Vin.” He smiled up at me and let me pull him upright. His arms slid around me and I held him close while he nuzzled my neck. “John Donne must have dreamt about you when he was writing the poems to his wife. It’s the only explanation of why they are so perfect for us.”

I thought that was a compliment but wasn’t quite sure. Ezra had told me he’d been dead for centuries so there was no way he could have dreamed me. “Let’s get comfortable and cook dinner. I’m starving.”

His warm breath gusted into my ear, making me shiver. “Yes, let’s. I have an appetite again.”

And that made me feel much better because he’d been a real picky eater while recovering from that drug concoction. “Good, what are we having?”

“Pasta. I’ve got some frozen sauce that will thaw while the noodles are cooking. And if you don’t mind, a salad to start with?” He let me pull him up from the couch and he wrapped an arm around me while we walked back to the bedroom.

“Sure, Ez’, when you make one, it doesn’t taste half bad.” I knew he was trying to get me to eat more healthy-like but I wasn’t lying when I said his salads were good. They made a restaurant one taste like pabulum, all lettuce and no flavor. His were full of unexpected things like almonds and oranges that gave a real different taste to the greens.

We got comfortable in sweats and I almost immediately began to harden again when Ez’ put on a pair of white sweat socks. There’s something about his beautiful long feet in those shapeless socks that made me want to slowly peel them off of him so’s I could taste each toe. I hadn’t told him about that little fetish yet but I thought that maybe tonight I’d just show him.

When we finished cleaning up after dinner, he went to one of his bookshelves and pulled off a real thick, leather bound book with gold-edged pages and a crimson ribbon for a bookmark. It looked real important and the way he handled it told me that it was one of those treasures like the sampler from my family.

“This is one of the few things that Grandmother Eugenia left me.” He smiled at me and held out his hand. “Except for the gift of wonderful summers she gave me until she died.”

“How old were you when she passed on?” We hadn’t talked about that and I took his hand to lead him into the bedroom.

“Thirteen. It was the worst spring of my life. Maude isn’t a very sentimental person and when we went to the funeral, all she saw was the hassle of cleaning out a house and selling it. I took this book down to the librarian and asked her to keep it for me until I could come back to get it. Miss Angle knew Maude from the old days and she took it after shaking my hand and promising to keep it safe.” He lay it on the bedside table with a gentle caress to the worn leather binding. “I’d almost forgotten about it but when I came back to this country after my years in Central America, I visited Tarboro to lay flowers on Grandmother’s grave. Miss Angle was still at the library only a little grayer and she recognized me at once. We had tea that afternoon and she returned this book to me. For a moment, it was like Grandmother was there again, her lips soft at my temple.”

“That’s a good memory, Ezra. I’m glad you shared it with me.” I held him close and ached to take away the echo of old pain. “What did you do after she died? For the summers, I mean.”

His smile was sad. “Maude sent me to summer camps for the next five years until I turned 18 and could make my own plans. Usually, I worked at part time jobs and spent the rest of my time in the university library. It was an even better education than the classes I was taking.”

I had to bite my tongue hard to keep back my opinion of his mother. It had never occurred to me that he’d been passed around like I had been. Funny how we’d ended up together. “You don’t mind that I’m pretty slow when it comes to reading?”

He looked at me as if I was crazy. “Vin, dyslexia isn’t something you chose to have. You’re doing just fine the way you are. Besides, this way I have an appreciative audience since you don’t mind my reading aloud?”

“Heck, no. I’d listen to you read a grocery list. Your voice makes me feel warm inside.” I told him truthfully and he kissed me with a big smile.

“Then I shall enjoy reading even more. Now, I believe you promised me something earlier.” He started sliding his hands under my sweatshirt with a little flirty glance that started hardening me all over again.

“Really? Gosh, I guess I kind of remember. Maybe you could give me a little hint?” I teased him while he pulled off my shirt and I started on his.

We took a long time getting undressed. Partly because he had to hang everything up right away but mostly because we had to touch every little bit of satin skin that was revealed. I love sliding my fingers over his skin and drinking down his little gasps of pleasure. Maybe I’d get used to it but I was betting that he’d still be a turn-on for me when we were old and gray.

I’d been having those thoughts for a while now but I was still going slow so’s I didn’t spook Ezra. He was more comfortable around me but he was still real skittish and I could tell that some more gentling was needed. When we were both naked except for his socks, which I kind of forgot to take off, I pulled him close and kissed him hard. We were both getting aroused but I pulled back just far enough to ask him a question.

“Bath first or after?”

He opened his eyes dreamily and gazed into my eyes. “Your choice, Vin.”

So, I pushed him onto the bed and crawled over him. “Later. Much, much later.”

We took our time and I learned a new hot spot when I tongued his navel and he damn near came off the bed. I filed that away for later, too intent on driving him nuts at that moment. It still seemed like a real intimate thing to do, sinking a finger inside of his hot tight channel. His muscles there seemed to pull me in and it wasn’t long before he was pleading with me to take him.

Sinking into him felt better than anything ever had in my misspent life. He was so hot around me and with those inner muscles of his already rippling around me, I was afraid that I’d come too soon. So, I leaned in real close and kissed him while he shuddered around me. He was already leaking big time and I knew that I needed to take it slow and sure so he’d enjoy it.

The rhythm I set soon echoed in his body as well. His hands gripped my shoulders while his legs wrapped around my waist. Those little moans were back and I knew that we were both going to explode any moment. If anything, I got harder and he got tighter. My strokes were hitting that gland of his over and over. He was shaking again and the moment he began to keen, I sped up and volleyed hard over his magic spot until he clenched hard around me and began to spurt between our stomachs.

And that was all she wrote for me, too.

We finally stopped shaking and I rolled us to our sides to take some of my weight off of him. His lips were gentle on the pulse in my throat while his hands stroked my spine. I loved the gentleness of him and the way he filled my arms with his heat, not to mention the soft curly hair on his chest that tickled me. There just wasn’t anything about him that I didn’t love and I needed to tell him that.

“Ezra, I love you.” It didn’t seem like enough to say but his eyes lit up and that bright smile was back. 

“I love you, too. I never thought I would get so lucky, Vin. You are such a miracle to me.” Those beautiful green eyes shimmered with tears and I leaned closer to kiss them gently. “I’ve never felt so happy and that frightens me a little.”

“Don’t ever be scared of me, Ez’.” I lifted his chin so I could his eyes. “Although I do need to tell you about a little kink that I seem to have picked up recently.”

“Really?” He started to grin. “What kind of kink?”

So I pulled back far enough so’s I could slide down his legs, slowly peeling the right sock off that elegant foot of his. I kissed each of his toes real gentle like before licking his high arch. His laughter turned to little gasps of pleasure and I made sure that every square inch of skin was licked or kissed before laying that one down and tending to his other foot. I could see him start to harden again just from that little bit of loving and I grinned at the thought of taking him inside of me.

“Oh god, Vin, that’s the sexiest thing anyone has ever done to me.” His voice was husky and a little breathless, which made me feel real good.

Sliding up the bed between his legs, I leaned in to kiss my way up from his belly button to his lips. Taking my time, I moved in for his mouth and he opened to me instantly. There was a hint of sauce from dinner and a little orange from the salad. All of him tasted good to me. When we broke apart to breathe, his hand came up to stroke my cheek.

“You’re real.” It was what he’d said while we were still in the hospital the first time and the note of wonder was still there.

“We’re real, Ezra, both of us are just as real as real can be. Now we’d better take a hot bath so’s you can bring me back here and make love to me. If’n you want to?” I made it a faint question just so I could see him light up.

“Really? I think that can be arranged, Vin.” That shy look was definitely getting a reaction out of me.

“Bath. Now.” I rolled off the bed and held out my hand to him. He chuckled at my demanding tone and joined me.

“Your wish is my command, O Masterful One.” He pulled me towards the bathroom while I was still snickering. 

He’s got a vocabulary on him that can stop a whole room of bad guys while they figure out what it was he said. Honest, I’d seen him do it a while back when the rest of the Team was a little late getting in position. I thought on that while the water filled the tub and Ezra got out two clean towels for us. It was real handy having a washing machine right there in the apartment.

“Ezra, if we find a place together, I think it better have a laundry like this here. I hate having to find quarters so’s I can head to the Laundromat with all those ladies there, snickering at my underwear.” I got in at one end while he was sliding into the other. When I opened my eyes, he was looking real spooked and I wondered what I’d said to scare him.

“Well, Vin, I . . . have some good news. At least, I hope you think it’s good news.” And he stopped just like that, looking all over the bathroom except at me.

“Ezra, I love you and there’s nothing you could tell me that would make me stop loving you. So, just take your time and let me in on it.” I spoke real slow and gentle, scooting up until my legs slid under his and I could pull him into my lap.  
And he did. He was real hesitant at first but pretty soon it all spilled out of him. How he’d sold the Atlanta property, bought the warehouse we’d looked at and hired an architect to start designing the interior space. I was shocked silent with the vast sums he was talking about and when I came back from the little place I go to think, he was shaking in my arms. His eyes were down and his mouth trembled with fear. And that just wasn’t right for him to be afraid of me, when all he’d been doing was trying to take care of us.

“Ezra.” I waited until those big green eyes of his raised up to mine. “I love you.” I kissed him real gentle like before pulling back so he could see my eyes. “And I love the way you take care of me. Are you sure that you want to take this step right now? You may find that I can be hell to live with. I’ve only got one kink right now but you just never know when another will appear.”

He was slowly relaxing. I could feel his back muscles begin to loosen. “Vin, I love you and I never thought I’d get to say that to anybody. I should have talked to you first but everything moved so quickly that before I knew it, I was getting the lawyer’s call telling me that we had it.”

“Sure you want to use your money that way?” I had to be sure that I wasn’t forcing him into anything. Millions, he’d talked about millions.

And that smile broke free, the one that made my heart glad. “Oh Vin, I can’t think of anything I’d rather buy. It’s a place where we can be together. Live . . .” he kissed me once for each word, “love . . . cook . . . and yes, do laundry. Together.”

That sounded pretty damn good to me. “Then that’s what we’ll do. I won’t be contributing much to this arrangement but maybe I can do some of the work refinishing the floors and such.”

“Vin, you bring yourself into this arrangement and that’s worth everything to me.” Ezra’s eyes were flashing green sparks at me and I had to smile when his hands gave my shoulders a little shake. “Don’t ever think that we aren’t equal partners in this relationship, because we are.”

“Got it, partner.” I leaned in and kissed him not at all gently. When we finally had to breathe, our cocks were dueling for space between us. “I promise to be there for every decision and every step of the whole building process. We’ll build something so nice, the guys will want to always come to our place.”

He smiled finally. “Our place. That sounds so very, very good.”

“Yes, it does, Ezra. Is there enough money left over to have the rooftop garden?” I grabbed the soap and began to lather his chest.

“Indeed there is, my Angel-Vin. It’s when I saw you on the roof, outlined against the sky that I knew we needed to buy that warehouse.” He took the soap from me and began to wash me. 

We traded back and forth until we were both squeaky clean. His surprise was still meandering through my brain and every once in a while I just stopped dead and wondered at the vast sums he’d mentioned. But he needed me to share the commitment to our love that he’d just made and most of me was ready for that, because losing him over something as trivial as money just wasn’t going to happen.

“Vin, what’s wrong?” He was still holding up the corner of the duvet for me and I shook my head free of the cobwebs and slid in beside him.

“Just thinking that I’d really like to hear you read that poem to me.” I gave him my best pleading look and he chuckled.

“Very well, my Vin, I shall read it just for you.” He reached a long arm over me to the table and grabbed his grandmother’s book. “It’s called ‘Good Morrow’.”

“I wonder by my troth, what thou and I  
Did, till we loved? Were we not weaned till then?  
But sucked on country pleasures, childishly?  
O snorted we in the seven sleepers den?  
T’was so; But this, all pleasures fancies be.  
If ever any beauty I did see,  
Which I desired and got, t’was but a dream of thee.

And now good morrow to our waking souls,  
Which watch not one another out of fear;  
For love, all love of other sights controls,  
And makes one little room, an everywhere.  
Let sea-discoverers to new worlds have gone,  
Let maps to others, worlds on worlds have shown,  
Let us possess one world, each hath one and is one.

My face in thine eye, thine in mine appears,  
And true plain hearts do in the faces rest,  
Where can we find two better hemispheres  
Without sharp North, without declining West?  
Whatever dies, was not mixed equally;  
If our two loves be one or thou and I  
Love so alike, that non do slacken, none can die.”  
(John Donne 1572-1631) 

****************


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The infamous conference room scene.

***************   
Ezra, part 17  
*************** 

Vin had taken the news much better than I could have ever hoped. Once again, it pointed up the differences between us. He’d have been just as happy with a smaller place but once I told him about the warehouse and he’d taken in the amounts involved, he accepted it. Just like that. I was very glad that I’d told him all of it, up front as it were. Maude would have been aghast at my candor.

He deserved nothing but the truth from me. I just hoped that I could manage it. I was trying very hard to go against my early programming. Vin was being a good influence on me already. I’d made very sure that both our names were on the deed, shocking my lawyer I’m afraid. It might be time to bring my business out to Denver. I’d get a recommendation from Judge Travis.

That wily old man was sure to know a good lawyer or two.

Of course, Mr. Kennedy would be on the phone to Maude within a day or so. He would have to find her first. The last I’d heard, she was in South Africa with her fifth husband. At least, I thought she was still married to that one. I’d met him briefly at their reception two years ago. He seemed very nice but a little shell-shocked. Maude tended to have that influence on men. Even Josiah had fallen briefly under her spell. 

But then Maude has always been one of those ‘forces of nature’ they talk about on the news. Oddly enough, the older I grew, the more tolerant of her I became. She was who she was and nothing I could ever do would change her. And she seemed to be trying to change me less and less as time passed. Maybe, she too, was growing more tolerant.

These thoughts occupied my time while I admired Vin’s profile. It was his turn to drive and he dearly loved driving the Jag. I had to figure out a way to get him a new vehicle without him thinking I was trying to keep him. If worse came to worse, I’d hire someone to steal it and take it far, far away from Denver.

“What in the world are you thinking about, Ez? That’s an awful silly grin you’re sporting.” His voice brought me back to the here and now.

“Silly? I’ll have you know that my thoughts were weighty, very weighty.” I sniffed in my best supercilious manner.

“Silly, Ez’. But if you don’t want to tell me, I can take a hint.” He pouted just a little and shot me a sultry side-glance that curled my toes.

“I think we will have to go into the conference room the moment we reach the offices.” I licked my lips and listened to him groan. It’s amazing that I got to this age without realizing that love could be fun. And suddenly, I needed to touch him and make sure that he was real. He grasped my hand immediately and shot me a look that seemed to read deeply of my soul. Then he smiled sweetly and raised my fingers to his cheek. 

“I love you, Ez’.” That was all he said but the touch told me so much more. It told me that he could read my mind and emotions the way as a tracker, he could read signs in the snow. 

Thank goodness.

However, once we arrived on the seventh floor, we were swept up into an urgent mission to help out Team Four. Vin was co-opted to work with Valerie to provide backup and I was assigned to work the van surveillance with Josiah. It was the first time we’d been separated on an assignment and I felt a twinge of unease at his going into danger without me. I knew that he could take care of himself but for some reason listening to him on band three was making me twitchy.

“Brother Ezra, you seem to be feeling some anxiety. Brother Vin is being his normal careful self.” Josiah’s wise eyes met mine and I couldn’t help a smile at his insight.

“I know he is, Josiah. But I find that I am no longer able to view the likelihood of anything happening to him with any equanimity.” I wondered for a moment why he was grinning at me then I realized that I’d used his first name instead of my normal formality.

“My petitions to the good Lord seem to have taken care of all of us for some time now. I’ll be sure to keep you both in my prayers.” He touched my shoulder gently and I smiled at him, wondering not for the first time why his concern made me feel so cherished.

“Thank you, Josiah, I appreciate it. I never before had anyone to lose but being posted to Team Seven has given me a . . . a family of men for whom I have great . . . affection.”

“And love, Ezra?” His eyes gleamed with good humor and I blushed.

It seemed to be such a huge admission to make but of them all, Josiah was the one who would most understand. “I never expected to ever love the way I love Vin. It still has the power to astonish me that he . . . loves me in return.”

“You are both good men who deserve only the very best, Ezra. And I think you’ve found that with each other. I’m very happy for you both.” And he patted my shoulder again.

“Yo, Val. Movement at 11 o’clock.” Vin’s voice came over the radio.

“Got it.” Her soprano accents were calm and steady. The air seemed to hum with tension then the ping of distant gunfire filled the air. 

It sounded like a small war zone while I counted the different kind of munitions by their distinctive sounds. My thoughts were fragmented prayers for all of my family but most assuredly for my lover. However it wasn’t really all that long before the sounds dissipated and the team members began to call in. Hearing Vin’s voice report that his area was clear made me finally relax my shoulders. But it was almost three hours later before I could see him for myself and truly know that he was all right.

Larabee and Buck had worked most closely with Team Four and they went upstairs to the debriefing with Judge Travis while the rest of us sat down to finish our reports to add to the final package. It appeared to be a corollary operation to Munson’s empire building and I wondered if Michael had had input into this part of the investigation. But that was only the outer part of my mind. 

The greater portion was plotting a way to get Vin into the conference room.

I finished the bare facts of my part of the operation without any of the detail that I might normally include. I had a different scenario to plan and I thought I could pull it off with just a touch of luck. Printing out the two pages, I checked it for accuracy and signed it before heading into Mr. Larabee’s office to place it on his desk. J.D. was done about the same time and I co-opted his help in my little seduction.

He was so wistful that I made a new resolve to work on that situation. After . . . after I made one of my fantasies real. What an astonishing thing that was for me to even think after all this time. J. D. began to smile when I outlined my plan and he even threw in a suggestion that enhanced my original scheme. We were going to need a distraction and he had just the thing.

I slipped down the hall to the semi-private bathroom with the shower and made sure that I smoothed enough of the gently scented cream that Vin seemed to like the most inside of me so his way was ready. If I were very lucky, I’d be taken right on the table where we met every few days. It would certainly present us both with a different memory for some of the boring meetings we attended.

At the very least, it would provide us with a slightly dangerous use of furniture. That necking on the couch had freed a need in me that I hadn’t even known existed. I now had plans to christen every place we met regularly. The Jag would be a challenge but I was working on it. When the weather grew nicer, I had plans for Mr. Larabee’s upper meadow near the small mountain lake where we’d picnicked last year. 

Vin blossomed in the open air and I’d long cherished the picture of him standing on the shore of the blue, blue water, watching a hawk fly high overhead. If it were at all possible, I would someday be able to give him the same freedom that he’d granted me with the gift of his love. Hopefully, I would have enough time to work on that miracle.  
A lifetime might just be enough.

For now, I made sure that I was ready before making my way down the hall to the darkened conference room. Shutting the door behind me, I debated what chair to take before deciding on the one farthest from the entrance. That it was Mr. Larabee’s usual seat was entirely serendipitous. I sat down, undid my belt, slid my zipper down and let my cock free.

Half-hard from just thinking about Vin coming in and finding me like this, I pondered the light and if it would be enough to light our encounter. Soft slats of light came through the cracks of the blinds and I decided that it would be enough. I slowly stroked myself after pushing back from the polished cherry wood table. If someone else came in, I could slide under its protection.

J. D.’s excited voice came to me through the muffling walls. I leaned my head against the tall seat back and thought of Vin’s reaction when he came through the entrance. But my musings were interrupted by the quietly opening door, the hall light shone on his fair hair and the click of the lock echoed about the room. 

Our eyes met and he stalked towards me like the cat to which I compared him. Putting his hands on each chair arm, he leaned in and took a deep breath. “Mine.”

“Yours,” was all I could say before his lips took mine in a searing kiss.

He mapped my mouth slowly with his tongue, saving the tickle of my palate for last so he could savor my shiver. Then he pulled away and slid to his knees between my legs, removing my hands and replacing them with his own. But when he wrapped his tongue around me, I shivered right down to my toes. He seemed determined to send me right out of my mind. I was already leaking salty tears, which he sucked lightly away with a bit of a slurp.

Far from being a turn-off, his obvious enjoyment of my taste hardened me further. My hands dropped lightly onto his hair, my fingers combing through the silken strands while he pleasured me into climax. I released endlessly into his hot, wet mouth, jerking a little while trying to stay quiet. A soft, “Vin”, was all I allowed myself.

Kissing the depleted cock in his hand, Vin looked up at me with a soft smile. “Ezra, you sure know how to give a good meeting. Why do you smell of magnolias?”

I chuckled silently. “Ah, but this meeting isn’t done, my love. I believe that I have just the place for that hidden weapon that you’re carrying.”

His eyes lit up and he sprang to his feet, pulling me up with him. Hands quickly slid my pants and boxers down while a finger slid into the heart of me. “Ezra! I think that this calls for some investigation.”

“Yes, indeed, Vin. I believe that a solid . . . probe is called for.” I leaned against the table and spread my legs as far apart as I could. 

His body was a furnace of warmth, searing me with his heat. He soon had two fingers stretching me and my cock tried to come to life with the first soft push of the large intruder against my muscle. We both groaned when he slid inside of me, the sounds echoing softly in the still air.

Deep, was all I could think coherently, he’d never felt so deep before. The long slow slide out and the slightly quicker thrust back in felt better than anything I’d ever felt before. The location may have had something to do with it but I think it was just the fact that it was my beloved Vin taking me as his. And heaven knows that I was his in all ways. 

He was speeding up his thrusts now, a slight grunt joining the sound of his balls hitting my cheeks. I was completely at his mercy for the polished surface gave me nothing to hold onto. His hands held my hips still as if he thought I would try to get away while he pounded into me with all his strength. The friction was extreme and I knew he was close when he gave a little gasp.

I rippled my inner muscles around him and he managed one more volley before jerking into climax. The hot liquid flooded me at the same moment that he slumped atop my body. His solid weight was comforting and warming although I could already feel the sharp edge of the table pressing against my abdomen.

“Ezra.” He nuzzled at the back of my neck. “This is the best meeting I’ve even been to.”

“Oh, the feeling is mutual, my Vin. It gives new meaning to the phrase ‘I took a meeting’.”

“Kind of like ‘doing lunch’?” He snickered. “I’d say this was like a whole meal.”

“A banquet of the senses, my angel-Vin, that’s what you are to me.” I stretched a little and he immediately stood up.

“That can’t be too comfortable, Ezra. Hold on while I make sure I didn’t hurt you.” He began the slow rocking that let him ease out without doing damage. “How does it feel?”

“Like I’ve been loved, Vin, that’s how it always feels when you love me.” I let him go with a sigh and wondered how I could mop up without staining my suit pants. For some reason, I hadn’t thought that far ahead. Or as Mother would say - I’d let my other head do the thinking for me. 

“You’re a little red, Ez’. You sure it’s okay?” He was wiping me with something soft and I twisted a little to see what it was. A handkerchief, how appropriate and how very farsighted of him to be so prepared.

“I’m quite sure that I’m more than fine.” I stood up and stretched a little, popping several of my vertebras back into position. “However, I may need the loan of your handkerchief until this evening.”

“Sure, Ez’,” he layered it several times between my cheeks before pulling up my boxers and possessively easing my cock into the silk. “I love the way these feel on you.”

And suddenly, I realized another fantasy had been born. Vin, in our apartment, wearing nothing but a pair of white silk boxers and the anal plug. I shivered and he hurried pulling up my pants, thinking that I was chilly. I let him zip and button me while my hands rested lightly on his shoulders and I told him of my fantasy.

“Ezra Standish, that’s a real evil picture and I can hardly wait to make it come true.” He kissed me softly and I hugged him close.

The sound of the others returning broke into this enchanted conference room and we separated regretfully for our return to the ‘real world’. I trailed a hand down his cheek and he turned just enough to kiss my palm. “Vin, next time, I believe we shall see how quiet you can be while I swallow you whole.”

It was his turn to shiver but he strode to the door while his eyes laughed over his shoulder at me. “I was thinking that our sofa back is high enough for you to take me over it.”

That picture was the one I took out into the common room. Vin was proving to be just the playful lover that I’d always fantasized existed. I was one lucky ATF agent. A phone call from the architect brightened an otherwise dull afternoon. We agreed to meet at the warehouse right after work. I was looking forward to his ideas but I was determined that the space would reflect Vin’s and my needs. 

Luckily, the rest of the day went quickly and I was even able to give Buck something to think about. With him near by, I casually asked J. D. about the web address to one of the gay sites that needed registration. He matter-of-factly gave it to me and mentioned another one for stories. He laughed when I asked him about the author and said that she was one of his favorite slash writers. I had him explain slash while Buck listened in with wide eyes.

Hopefully, that gave our tall Lothario something to think about.

I was so happy that I wanted the entire Team to be happy, too. 

While we were riding down in the elevator, most of team four joined us on the second floor and Valerie asked us to join them for a drink to celebrate the conclusion of their case. I had a moment of outright panic when I saw Vin smile at her. But when I finally got control of myself, he was gracefully taking a rain check for both of us. He told her that he was looking for a new place to live and I was helping him.

I couldn’t have done better myself. But now I had a new fear to overcome. Sooner or later, our fellow agents were going to notice that we were still living and commuting together. And what would they think when we moved into our new building? And what if Vin wanted to date someone, especially a nice woman like Valerie? Panic was the least of what I was feeling when we got in the Jag. I should have known that Vin would notice.

“Ezra, I am not going to leave you for Valerie. I like her but I love you. I belong to you just the way that you belong to me.” My psychic lover told me calmly.

“We’re still so new, Vin. I guess I panicked.” I smiled sheepishly at him and he reached over and took my hand.

“There is no one who compares to you, Ez’. You make me happier than I’ve ever been in my life. Eventually, someone will find out about us but we’ll deal with that when it happens.” His blue eyes glowed passionately and I gripped his hand tightly.

“I love you, Vin. I still have some insecurities with which to deal.” I risked a quick kiss to his knuckles. “But never doubt that I will do whatever it takes to keep us safe and together.”

“Good. Now get Pegasus in gear so we can go meet this guy.” He settled in and waved his hand while I chuckled at his lordly gesture.

Driving us to Adams Street, I coaxed him to tell me what he might like in the perfect living space. Vin wanted light and lots of it. He also wanted space to move in and a lockable gun safe for his weapons. And that brought the first real show of emotion about his apartment that I’d seen. His favorite 9mm Glock had perished in the blaze and he sighed wistfully when he spoke of its seasoned leather grip.

I immediately put it on my Vin-list along with a new vehicle and a leather jacket to replace his scruffy brown one lost in the fire. Although I was practicing some of his detachment when it came to things, I still wanted to give him those few items that he would allow me to. Perhaps we could go gun shopping together or maybe I could get a pair of Glocks so that he could teach me how to shoot one?

That might work, I decided and put the scheme into my mental file cabinet. Pulling up at 221 Adams St., we met Jason Arnold and his partner, Leland White, leaning against an old pickup. I’d met him during an investigation almost a year ago and we’d stayed friendly acquaintances. I’d thought of him at once when I knew that I had the property. Introducing Vin to them, we had them open the delivery door so we could drive in and leave our vehicles in safety.

Two hours later, we had walked from top to bottom and the two of them had filled one notebook apiece. We adjourned to Miss Daisy’s and ate heartily while still talking about the spaces that would become our home. I especially enjoyed sitting next to Vin instead of across from him. It was over dessert that we discovered that Jason and Leland were life-partners and had been for almost ten years. I was envious of their comfortable ease with each other but hopeful that some of their contentment would grace us.

When we left them outside of the restaurant, we drove home in a contented silence. I had hopes that our visions would coincide in livable spaces on all four floors. Vin was still silent when we came into the apartment, but he was thinking, I could tell. Hanging up our coats, he wandered into the kitchen for some cold water and finally told me what he was ‘studying’, as he was wont to say.

“Ezra, you think that someday we’ll be like them?”

“I hope so, Vin. They are both different just like we are but they work together in a seamless whole. That’s what I’d like for us, ten years from now.” I took a sip from his glass and watched his smile light his face.

“Yeah, that’s what I liked about ‘em too. Different but kind of like that yin and yang you were telling me about a few months back.” He pulled me closer and drank from the same spot from which I’d just sipped.

That had to be the most erotic thing I’d seen him do today. Of course, I thought he was erotic just stretching. And the small ache inside of me reminded me that he was also the sexiest man on earth. I tugged him closer and watched his eyes go sultry when our groins matched. Water was forgotten while we kissed slowly, tasting dinner’s spices again.

We showered since it was so late and I sucked Vin into release before the hot water ran out. When we snuggled into bed, he lazily brought me to climax with hand and tongue. I fell asleep in his arms and slept like the dead. The next day brought us a new case and we settled into the routine of work, warehouse and home. Luckily, I didn’t have to go undercover this time.

I wasn’t sure that I ever wanted to go undercover again. 

And that was something that I would have to think about.

****************  
Vin, part 18  
**************** 

This renovation business was fun. It was hard work but watching cold, neglected spaces begin to take on warmth and life was fascinating. Ezra had been real supportive when I asked if some of the kids from Purgatorio could help out on the project. I’d been coaching them on acting as a team when playing basketball but now I wanted to show them how to build something good and strong. He even got them t-shirts in black with gold lettering that read ‘Vin’s Wrecking Crew’.

He tells me that he’s afraid of kids but I think it’s just his natural reserve ‘cause he’s real good with them one on one. He’d even supplied all of them with their own toolbelt and enough tools to give them a sense of responsibility. The construction crew was real patient with them too and some of the boys showed they were really taking the lessons to heart.

Sister Ernestine said that the fifteen year old Gomez twins were bringing their tools after school and helping the Sisters repair the house next to the mission. They wanted to get their mom and sisters into a nice place and their pride in each project finished was real good to see. But I was learning a lot, too. One of my projects was sanding those oak floors to bring them back to life. The sander was big and bulky with a real mind of its own. Ezra got really good at giving my sore muscles a massage of an evening.

The warehouse was a mess from top to bottom. Sometimes, I just had to get away from all the noise and vibrations. I’d escape up the spiral staircase and onto the roof. Except for the elevator housing, it was empty of everything but snow and birds. Sounds melted away up there and I breathed deep even though the air was cold. The wind would whip over the brick parapets and whisper of the coming spring.

Every once in a while, I would coax Ezra to go up with me and he’d come, muttering of my strange predilection for freezing spaces. But he always enjoyed it, hugging me close and breathing just as deep as I was. When the sun came out, I could definitely see the possibilities of the wide, open space. My little pot of lavender was growing in the office and I could hardly wait to bring it up here for some sunshine.

Miss Clover had given me advice and promised me one of her rose bushes when we got serious about the rooftop garden. She and Michael had married in a private ceremony at the old chapel that had seen most of the Munsons births and deaths and everything in between. Ezra and I were their witnesses. They’d moved back into the mansion and cleansed it from the basement to the attic. Michael had adopted three children over the course of the last twenty years so Miss Clover became a mother at the same time she became a wife.

Luckily, they were mostly grown already. When we saw her these days in the library, she always had a little wrinkle between her eyes and it was like she had to come back to us from where ever her thoughts had led her. I was worried a bit that it was all too much for her. Ezra though, he told me that he’d taken Michael aside to tell him to be sure that she got some alone time every day or answer to us for the consequences.

It got better after that. But that reminded me that Ezra was struggling with something, too. When I asked him about why those heavy thoughts came and went, he smiled and told me that he would share it when he got it into focus. I nodded and watched him extra close for a few weeks. What ever it was, it didn’t effect our loving. That just kept getting better and better.

I’d never been so well-loved, not ever, except maybe by my Ma when I was a baby. Ezra took real good care of me and I was learning how to take care of him, too. I guess everything was going so well that it never occurred to me that it wouldn’t just keep on. Then the Henderson case was given to us and all hell broke loose.

On the surface it was a very simple case. An insurance salesman named Arthur Henderson was found dead in Boulder with half a kilo of pure cocaine in his briefcase. The local police were pretty much scratching their heads when their Narcotics Bureau finally called us in. Chris brought us all in on it but it was a foregone conclusion that Ezra would go in and play a replacement insurance agent.

It was the first time we would be separated by a case since we’d loved each other. I was uneasy but he seemed resigned to his new role. For three days, I watched him sink deeper and deeper into what he called his Edmund Street persona. The night before he was to fly out to Seattle and the home office of Global Assurance, Inc., he made love to me slowly and tenderly.

I’d never felt so cherished. But when he woke me up Tuesday morning, he enticed me inside of him. He was wild and I caught fire, too. I was afraid I’d hurt him but his smile was relaxed and he hugged me close, telling me that it would have to last him for several weeks. I wasn’t exactly worried but I did fret a bit until he got transferred back to Boulder after two long weeks.

We talked whenever he could get to a pay phone and call me collect. I told him about the work on the warehouse, Buck’s gradual waking up to J.D.’s preferences and how much I missed him. He mostly listened not having much to say about the case but he always said ‘I love you’ before we hung up. I needed to touch him in the worst way but he’d already picked up the scent and been approached to take over where Henderson had left off.

He sounded real tired when he called late one night about five weeks into the investigation. He didn’t want to talk about the case, only about the warehouse and the progress going on there. I could hear the strain in his voice and when I told him how much I missed him, I thought I heard a sob in his voice. And just like that, I suddenly knew what he was struggling with. 

How could I’ve been so stupid? Ezra left a little part of himself in every role he played. How long could a man keep giving away pieces of his soul before he had nothing left to give? And how did I let him know that I understood? While I was still reeling from that realization, he had to hang up to go back to the party he’d ducked away from. He said goodbye with a last ‘love you’ before I could tell him I understood.

The next day, I went to Chris and told him that I had to see Ezra. Right now if not sooner. He took a good look at me and saw how serious I was. With a nod, he told me that he’d see what he could do. I went back to the classes I was teaching to some of the new agents, sending all the energy I could spare to my absent lover. But the link between us had never seemed so muted and fear began to get a toehold.

I’m afraid I was real absentminded and the students could tell it. Finally, I let them go early before I accidentally shot one of them. I felt so cold that I wondered if I was coming down with something. I even took the elevator up to seventh. The rest of the team was standing there like they were waiting for me and I knew something was wrong.

Chris told me that Ezra had gone missing.

Missing.

Missing for almost sixteen hours.

Missing since about a half an hour of our phone call.

I knew he wasn’t dead. I’d be able to feel that and so I told the rest of the team. Josiah nodded and told me to keep faith in Ezra. Ezra wasn’t the problem, as he well knew. The problem was the rabid drug dealers who might have him in their hands. J.D. was already working on tracking him electronically while Josiah and I sat down and went over every phone call from Ezra.

Chris had insisted that all my phone calls be taped and now I was hoping that something in our conversations might give a clue to Josiah. It was hard to see through the tears in my eyes while I listened to his voice on the tape. I needed him so desperately right then that I’d have traded my family sampler for one sight of him. But Josiah lent me his strength and I tried to stay calm.

It was still a long afternoon and one I never want to repeat. I kept praying to that goddess of his, Kwan Yin, the goddess of mercy and compassion. The hours crept by and the other guys beat the bushes for any sign of our absent team member. Judge Travis even came down to give us his support. I didn’t know if he knew about Ezra and me but he was real gentle when he clasped my shoulder and told me to take heart.

Miss Clover came up with some files and took me into the conference room, sitting me down and giving me a stern talking to. Her brisk no-nonsense talk even made me smile a little until I saw the tears in her eyes. And that’s when I crumbled to my knees and buried my head in her lap while her strong arms held me safe. She rocked me just a little, like I remember my Ma doing. 

I couldn’t understand the words but her soft croon soothed my aching heart and I gradually got myself back under control. The guys left us alone for almost a half-hour before tapping on the door and bringing us some good news for a change. Ezra had been seen in the little town of Eldora, southwest of Boulder. The bad news was the company he was keeping. Gilmore Whittaker was an East Coast drug dealer with a reputation for leaving no loose ends.

Was Ezra still in character or had he been found out?

That was the thought that kept going through my mind while the whole team crowded aboard the OH-58 Kiowa helicopter to fly closer to Eldora. I had my sniper’s rifle with me but I was hoping that I didn’t have to use it. I didn’t want bullets anywhere near Ezra. A friend had told me once that protection was all in the mind. And right then, I was surrounding Ezra with as much white light as I could muster.

Nothing mattered but him, not the case, not justice, not anything at all.

It was the quietest flight I’d ever flown. Even the pilot from our mobile force seemed to sense that conversation wasn’t on the agenda. I think we were all too busy praying. An update came from our ground forces. They were on the move towards Boulder. It appeared that Ezra was moving freely, a part of Whittaker’s party. I hoped they were right.

We kept out of sight and sound of the drug dealers. I just hoped that Ezra knew I was near by. Another call from the ground said that they appeared to be headed for a small airfield that was only sanctioned for single prop aircraft. However, we’d flown over it earlier and a small Learjet was sitting there. There was no way that Ezra was getting on that plane.

No way in hell.

We set down in a field and I jumped out with my rifle, Buck right on my heels. We were maybe twelve city blocks from the field and I was in a hurry. The Kiowa took off again and circled around to approach the airfield from the other side. This way we had a pincer movement with our quarry between us. I took the field at a dead run, vaulting the rickety fence and keeping going with Buck panting behind me. Fear gave me wings and I was soon within sight of the landing field.

I wasn’t so lost that I didn’t take a moment to find out from Buck where he would be in the coming confrontation. I didn’t want to hurt anybody but bad guys. He gave me a boost into the most likely tree and waited a moment to be sure I could keep going higher before melting into the underbrush near the airfield. For such a big man, he can surely hide better than anyone I’ve ever met.

Picking a good sturdy branch, I got comfortable and made sure that I was loaded and primed. Ezra was going to come out of this alive if I had to shoot every other person there. I would think about the right and wrong of it later, now was the time to focus on my targets. And pray that Ezra was all right.

The limo purred onto the packed earth runway and men began to emerge from it. Ezra was next to the last out and he wasn’t smiling. In fact, the man who was holding him had a semi-automatic jammed into his ribs. Something had changed from Eldora to here but the only thing that mattered was that he was still alive. And if I had anything to say about it, he’d stay that way.

“Hold on, Ezra. I’m here.” I whispered into the wind and sent my love to him the same way.

The head guy was jawing away at Ezra and the smile on his face was one of those sneering ones. I eased off on the trigger, deciding which of the men I would shoot and in what order. That kept me from firing prematurely. A calm settled over me when Whittaker slapped Ezra and took the gun from his minion to hold at Ezra’s temple. Time slowed and when the chopper came into view, I already had my target.

The bullhorn threw Chris’ voice into the men who froze for a moment before erupting in a firestorm of bullets. But I’d already shot the gun away from Ezra, hit Whittaker in the chest and killed the man who’d been holding my lover. Ez’ ducked and rolled behind one of the limo doors and I lost sight of him. It didn’t really take long after that to mop them up.

I was down on the ground and running for the limo before the last shot was fired. When I got there, I saw Buck looking at me with anguish on his face. But then I saw Nathan on the ground; his hands bloody while he tried to stop the crimson flow from Ezra’s chest. Time slowed on me again and it seemed to take forever to get to his side. Chris was trying to tell me something but I couldn’t see him, only Ezra’s white face.

Then we were in the chopper and Nathan had me applying pressure to the gaping chest wound. I’ve never prayed so hard in my life. Ezra’s face was calm but so very white that he looked like marble. His skin was cool to the touch and I could feel him slipping away from us with every moment. When we landed on the hospital roof, I got crowded aside by the doctors and nurses. Nathan and I watched while they wheeled him right into surgery.

And that’s when I passed out.

***

_It was a quiet place where everything was white and clean. The only sound was a heartbeat that seemed to be slowing. Ezra lay on a table, quiet and still but faintly glowing with a golden halo around his entire body. Ma was by his side and her blue eyes so like mine were real grave when they rose._

_“He’s ready to leave, little angel. You’re the only one who can sway his decision, Vin.”_

_“I love him, Ma. I don’t want him to go.”_

_“He loves you too, little one. If he stays, he may be physically impaired.”_

_“That doesn’t matter. Nothing matters but him. There are so many things he could do. It’s his spirit that glows so bright, not his body.”_

_“Yes, it does. Tell him why he needs to stay. Remind him of love, my little angel.”_

_I took his right hand in mine and held it to my heart while I caressed his white face with my left. Leaning in, I whispered in his ear. “I love you, Ezra. You’re my heart and soul. You promised me forever and I’m holding you to that promise. Don’t leave me alone and lonely. Listen to my heart and remember that it beats for you.”_

_The sound of that heartbeat was louder now. I threw all of my strength and love into him. And everywhere was an explosion of white light coruscating into a rainbow of bright colors that sparkled golden and so bright that I had to close my eyes against the glitter._

*** 

“Vin, Vin, come on, buddy. You’re scaring me here.” Nathan sounded real anxious and I opened my eyes to find him kneeling by my side on the cold tiles of the hospital corridor.

“Nathan?” I was cold, so very cold.

“Come on, Vin. Sit up for me. Let’s get us cleaned up while they operate on Ezra.” He helped me up and steadied me against the wall. “He’s going to be okay, Vin. I have faith in Dr. Schoonover. He’ll bring Ezra through.”

“You sure, Nathan?” I wanted to believe him, I really did. But all I could see was the blood that covered both of us. His blood.

“It’s in the good Lord’s hands, Vin. Come on and let’s get cleaned up. We’re scaring the staff, my friend. Let’s get washed up.” He guided me down the hall and into one of the bathrooms.

The blood was everywhere and not even the hottest water seemed to warm me up any. I was shivering pretty much continuously and I know that Nathan was worried. He found a blanket from somewhere and wrapped me in it before steering me into the waiting room nearest the operating theaters.

We waited for hours. The others showed up eventually and I acknowledged them absentmindedly, my eyes never leaving the swinging doors where I’d last seen Ezra. I wasn’t sure if my vision had been a dream or just wishful thinking but all my hopes were pinned on that last bright rainbow that had felt so joyful.

They came and went but I stayed put, drinking coffee that someone brought me and eating some stale crackers from a vending machine down the hall. I felt real calm and clear headed, sitting there. Ezra couldn’t leave me. He just couldn’t. He was a man of his word and he’d promised to always love me.

J.D. was by my side when they wheeled him out and down the hall. He looked like a waxen image; still and whiter than the sheets he lay on. But they had machines hooked to him and one of them showed a reassuring beep that had to be his heart. J.D. held me up when my legs went all wobbly. Nathan was already talking to the tired looking doctor but I followed Ezra as if I was on an invisible leash. An intern barred us from the ICU and J.D. kept me from hurting him.

Nathan explained that Ezra would need a sterile environment for awhile until he was a little further along the road to recovery. And that got through to me.

“He’s going to be okay, Nathan?” I willed it to be true.

“He made it through surgery and he’s got a good chance to make it all the way, Vin. I won’t say that he’s going to be a hundred percent. Dr. Schoonover wasn’t able to get the last bullet out.” Nathan scrubbed at his face, his eyes tired and bloodshot. “It was too close to the spine. We’ll know more when he comes to and starts his physical therapy.”

“Wait a minute, Nate. Are you saying that he might be paralyzed?”

“It’s a possibility only. We’ll have to wait and see. The important thing is that he’s getting better with every breath he takes.” Nathan almost shook me in his fervor and I nodded silently, agreeing with him.

“Vin, you need to get cleaned up. He’s going to need you when he wakes up and right now, you look pretty bad.” Chris’ voice came from over my shoulder, his hand warm on my back.

“I can’t leave him, Chris.” I was swaying with weariness but determined to stay close to Ezra.

“He’s not going to wake up for about twelve hours so you have plenty of time to clean up and change clothes. The nurses said that you could use their shower and Buck went to get you some clean clothes.” Chris glared at me but I could see the concern that he hid under his gruff tones. “Josiah is bringing in a cot so you can catch a nap until Ezra comes to. Don’t give me any trouble now.”

I shook my head and let him lead me to the shower. My clothes were stiff with dried blood, Ezra’s blood that had soaked deep. The hot water felt good but it reminded me of the last shower that we’d shared. I could still feel his hands sliding over my skin and his mouth pleasuring me right into climax. I was crying when I finally turned off the water. I leaned against the cold tiles and shook with silent sobs. 

Strong arms gathered me up and wrapped a towel around me. Buck rocked me gently and murmured little nonsense words to calm me. I tried to stop but the pain was too deep. He dried me off and I felt other hands dress me in soft warmth while I hiccuped and tried again to stop crying. A sharp prick startled me and I saw Nathan’s face grim and set.

“You’re going to sleep now, Vin. When you wake up, you can see Ezra, until then we’ll keep you both safe.”

I managed a nod before falling fathoms deep. A heartbeat haunted my dreams until I went beyond dreams to a healing sleep.

*******************


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The healing begins. An old friend brings some help (xover with Kung Fu, the Legend Continues).

*****************  
Ezra, part 19  
*****************

That repetitious beep was really beginning to annoy me.

And I was freezing. Where had all the blankets gone?

Why didn’t Vin turn off that damn alarm?

Had we gotten a new alarm clock?

“Ezra, can you open those pretty green eyes for me?” Vin sounded tired.

Well, of course, I could. My eyelids are just really heavy this morning for some reason.

And why did my chest feel like an elephant was sitting on it?

*** 

Why is it still cold?

“Please, Ezra? Please wake up, Ez’.”

Why did Vin sound so upset? Had we overslept again?

I felt a drop of warmth land on my cheek then another and I realized that something was making my Vin sad. I had to find out what was wrong. Which meant I needed to open my eyes and for some reason, I was having an extremely hard time doing that.

But with a supreme effort, I forced them open briefly before they slammed shut again.

“Ezra!” Vin’s voice sounded hoarse and now I knew there was really something wrong.

Could that croak be my voice?

“Stay calm, Ezra. I’m calling the nurse.” 

Nurse? What the hell was going on here?

But Vin was wiping my lips with something cool and wet. That felt wonderful and I tried to suck in some of the moisture. But my lips seemed as gummy as my eyes.

“Well now, Mr. Standish, how nice of you to finally wake up.” The brisk voice went along with the cool fingers taking my pulse. “I called for Dr. Schoonover to come and see you, so I’d like you to try and stay awake for us. Thirsty?”

I guess that croak really was what passed for my voice.

Vin was brushing more water across my lips and the small trickle between my lips felt like a little bit of heaven to me.

I was beginning to get the picture. Something had gone wrong with an investigation and I’d ended up in the hospital again. I hate it when that happens.

“V-v-v-in?” Well, that was better.

“I’m right here, Ezra. Can you feel my hand?” His voice still didn’t sound right.

“Y-y-yes.” I could feel his warm fingers holding mine.

“Mr. Standish, how nice to finally meet you. My name is Dr. Schoonover and I’m glad to see that my winning streak will continue unabated for the near future.” The prim voice sounded like my third grade teacher, Mr. Hathaway. 

He then proceeded to put me through a series of exercises that told me faster than anything else could have that I was definitely on the disabled list.

“Very good, Mr. Standish. Is there any pain when I press here?”

Why do doctors always do that? Press a sore spot with a smile and ask you smugly if that hurts?

Of course, it bloody well hurts, I groaned.

“Good, good. Nurse, I think we’ll add a little Demerol to his IV. The pain will continue for a while yet, Mr. Standish. However, even though it doesn’t feel like it, you are getting better. Do you have any questions for me?”

Sadistic little man, I thought grumpily. Just you wait until I get my voice back.

Then the sleepiness crept in again and I fell back to sleep, still holding tight to Vin’s hand.

*** 

This time I was determined to stay awake. Really awake, not the two-minute yawn that passed for waking in my current condition.

Forcing my eyes open, I found Vin sound asleep beside me. His hair was a tangled mess and looked like he hadn’t washed it in a week. Even in his sleep, he was clenching his jaw and frowning.

Something was terribly wrong and there was no one I could ask. I didn’t want to wake him from what was obviously a much-needed rest. 

But my famous luck seemed to be holding when Buck stuck his head in with a worried look that changed to a relieved smile when I managed my own smile. He came on in and crossed to my other side, leaning over the bed so he could ask me how I was.

I swallowed a couple of times and he held a straw to my lips so I could drink some room temperature water. I’d never tasted anything so good.

Never letting my voice rise above a whisper, I asked my question. He looked startled but when he asked me what I remembered, I had to admit that my immediate past was a complete blank. Being in Seattle and seeing the Space Needle was the extent of my memories. I vaguely remembered being someone different but I couldn’t think of my alter persona’s name. 

He thought for a long moment then gave me just enough information to tell me why I was in the hospital. The list of my injuries was extensive and for the first time I realized just why Vin looked so worn out. It had been ten days and I was still in ICU. The remaining bullet and its proximity to my spine worried me just a little and I was sure the Vin was worried too. Buck told me that my lover hadn’t moved since he was first let in, except to shower a couple of times and eat a meal or two.

All his energy had gone into willing me to live. 

I was truly blessed that this greathearted man loved me.

Buck’s voice trailed off and I realized that Vin’s eyes were open. Those azure blue eyes of his caught mine and the rest of the world went away. His fingers caressed mine and when he kissed each finger one at a time, I shivered at the intensity of his gaze. Then he was leaning over me and I finally had his lips on mine.

He tasted of coffee and toothpaste and something that was quintessentially Vin. I sighed and he lazily stroked his tongue between my chapped lips to touch mine. This was what had been missing, his taste and his scent and his touch. Now, I could begin to heal. So long as he loved me, I could face anything.

Even never being able to walk again.

My brain refused to look further ahead then the next few moments.

The rest of the world would just have to go away while Vin loved me.

He moved from my lips to scatter kisses over my face, his long hair stroking my starved flesh with tantalizing caresses. Buck must have left because the only sound in the room was my raspy breath and his almost silent repetition of my name.

Finally, he rested his forehead lightly against mine, sharing his breath with me. “I love you, Ezra. Don’t you ever try to leave me again.”

I could hardly talk above a whisper. “Love . . . you . . . Vin.”

His eyes filled with tears but his smile was radiant when he brushed his lips across mine again. “I promise you that we will grow old together, Ezra, still just as much in love as we are right now.”

“If . . . not . . . more.” I was growing tired and he could tell that.

“Rest now, Ez’. I’ll be right here when you wake up.” He scattered a few more kisses down my throat to the hollow that always warmed me.

“Wash . . . your . . . hair . . . herbs,” was all I could manage before those damn eyelids of mine closed on me.

His chuckle followed me into sleep.

*** 

It felt like I’d been asleep forever.

But it wasn’t as difficult to open my eyes this time. I already knew that Vin was here but he was whispering to someone else so I turned my head to see who it was.

“Josiah.” I smiled at the gentle man who prayed for us so diligently.

“Son!” He beamed at me. “Thank the good Lord that you’re getting better.”

“Yes. Better.” My energy levels were still low and my voice a mere rasp.

“Water, Ezra?” It wasn’t really a question and Vin was already sliding the straw into my mouth so I could drink.

Really, we don’t appreciate water the way we should. I was reminded that it was called the staff of life in the Bible. Or was that bread? As soon as I was done drinking, I’d ask Josiah. He’d know.

But closing my eyes to savor the water was a mistake.

*** 

This time I was damn well going to stay awake for more than a few moments. I set my will and opened my eyes to find Vin asleep by my side again. The window blind was open and the stars shone brightly in the black sky of night.

Vin’s hair was tangle free and smelled of his shampoo. I took a deep breath, filling my lungs with his scent. My chest didn’t hurt quite as badly as it had before. I wondered how many more days had passed since I’d first awakened but really didn’t care. I’d never felt so disinclined to do anything in my life.

This limbo between waking and sleeping was very comfortable and I wanted to enjoy it. I had the feeling that I’d have to come to terms with my wounds sooner rather than later but not now. 

Not right now. Now was for star watching and listening to Vin breathe. I took another deep breath, then another and let my eyes drift shut again.

Maybe a little more sleep was called for.

***

The dulcet tones of Mr. Larabee woke me this time. He sounded quietly heated and Vin was giving him back as good as he got. Funny how an argument in whispers sounds funny instead of serious.

“Vin.”

His head whipped around and he smiled down at me. “Ezra, you’re awake.”

“Mr. Larabee . . . what?” I was not up to long conversations.

“I need a statement, Ezra. Even if it’s just that you don’t remember anything.” He looked drawn and tense.

I could just imagine how hard he was working with one agent down and most of the bad guys dead. I had no problem with the fact that Vin and the others had probably done their lethal best.

“Space Needle. Meeting. Blond. Surfer build.” I couldn’t think of his name.

“Okay, how about Bob White or Sam Biltmore or Sydney Anderson?” He leaned in and waited impatiently while Vin let me drink.  
And part of my brain began to work. “Sydney. Said that he had . . . a sweet deal.”

“Good.” A smile finally replaced the scowl on his face. “Thank you, Ezra. Now, just rest and get better. We miss you.” He touched Vin’s arm briefly. “Take care of him, Vin.”

“Always.” Vin gave him a brief smile before turning his attention to me. “More water, Ezra?”

I nodded. “Please.”

Vin held the water for me and let me drink my fill before setting it aside. “Love you, Ezra, more than anything.”

“Me, too. How bad . . . is it?” I managed to squeeze his hand a little.

“Not as bad as it could have been.” He looked so tired. “They removed four bullets, ripped out your spleen, reinflated your left lung, repaired your pulmonary artery and cleaned you up.”

“Last bullet.” I reminded him of what the doctor had said.

He held my hand to his cheek and closed his eyes. “It’s too near your spine for them to go in and get it. Dr. Schoonover says that the current inflammation around the wound site is the source of your current . . . um,”

“Paralysis.” I’d already tried to wiggle my toes and not seen the sheets move at all.

He nodded. “But when the inflammation goes down, he thinks that you’ll have full use of your legs again.”

“How long?” I knew he’d know what I meant.

“However long it takes.” Vin had that stubborn look on his face that I knew meant he wouldn’t listen to any other opinion.

And at the moment, I was selfish enough to take everything he was willing to give. “I’m glad you’re here.”

That bright smile lit his whole face. “It’s just a good thing that you’re so docile right now, Ez’. ‘Cause I’m not moving from your side and you’re not getting rid of me, no matter what.”

“I should but I won’t.” I sighed and felt my energy begin to flag. “Love you too much, Vin.”

“There’s no such thing as too much when it comes to us loving each other.” He still had hold of my hand but his other began to soothe little circles at my temple. “Sleep now, Ezra. Heal and get stronger.”

I smiled while falling asleep.

*** 

The next day, I met Dr. Schoonover and felt that my original opinion was correct. He was a petty little man who just happened to be the reason that I was still alive. I was polite since it didn’t hurt to have a doctor on my side but I reserved my options. I couldn’t help but see that he considered Vin nothing more than a necessary nuisance and that prejudiced me against him.

And he was still asking me with a smile if it hurt when he pressed on every bruise I had.

So, I gritted my teeth and gave him the answers he wanted. I was flipping through my mental address book for orthopedic surgeons who might be able to give me a second opinion when I remembered Mother’s second husband, a doctor in cancer research. I’d get J.D. to track him down for me. His brother had been a rather brilliant surgeon whom I had always admired.

I was exhausted when he and his entourage left. Vin was right there to rub soothing circles at my temples and give me a drink. Moving my arm took all my strength but I was determined to show some improvement every day. Odd how your goals change when you hurt everywhere. I’d made Vin promise to tell them that I didn’t want further pain medication but the most they would allow is a diminution of the dose.

The pain was bearable and it gave me back a little more time with Vin and the others. Everyone stopped by at least once a day. Josiah gave me a running commentary on the hockey games that were playing. Buck kept me up on the gossip and the local betting pool. Nathan shared his research on forms of physical therapy to which I listened most intently. J.D. brought his laptop with him and looked things up for us. Mr. Larabee kept us up to date on the investigation.

But Vin and I seemed to be part of another world. I made him go home two weeks into my recovery when I’d been moved out of ICU and into a private room one floor down. I was awake most of the day and we celebrated my moving a toe with a series of kisses that had my groin twitching for the first time since I’d been shot. But neither of us had the energy to do any more than kiss.

He was exhausted with sitting by my side and sleeping half upright for days on end. So, I sent him home with Buck to sleep. I was a little restless and kept waking up to find him gone. But eventually, I fell to sleep and dreamt of us sitting on the roof of the warehouse under a simple pergola with some kind of fragrant vine growing up and over us. A hawk flew up and soared above us, drawing us both to our feet and out into the sunlight.

And when I awoke, I knew that I would walk again, eventually. But I also knew that my days as an undercover agent were over. When Vin came in looking rested, I asked him if he had dreamed anything the night before. He smiled and repeated my dream back to me. Piece by piece, he fed me a freshly baked croissant, light and buttery. I told him of my decision and he nodded.

“I always knew that this would be your last time, Ez’.” He kissed my lips clean of breakfast and I smiled into the caress. Sitting back, he held my hand in his and played with my fingers. “You give up a piece of your soul each time you go undercover. I’m real selfish, Ezra, I want all of you. The Team needs your expertise and your contacts but I think that you’d be a real good teacher to the younger agents.”

I thought about that. I hadn’t gotten that far in my decision but I could vaguely see myself as a teacher. Perhaps I could teach others how to do what I had done. It was something to think about. In answer, I pulled him back down to my lips. Tasting Vin was always a delight but after the sterile air of ICU, he was a veritable banquet of tastes and scents.

His chuckle told me that I’d been caught out but I didn’t care. I was alive and so was he. My work future might be uncertain but the rest of my life was positively copacetic. So, just for the hell of it, I moved both of my big toes. Then I did it again while Vin began gently massaging my feet, one at a time. When I got full mobility back, my muscles wouldn’t be completely atrophied.

I would be a long time healing but heal I would. I had too much to live for to give up now. And the main reason for my optimism was quietly intent on rubbing my toes into ecstasy. Vin was my guardian angel and with him, I could overcome anything.

Anything at all.

*****************  
Vin, part twenty  
******************* 

Ezra was getting better every day. I hated leaving him each evening but my back was about to break in those hospital chairs and that dinky cot they finally let me set up. His toes were moving better and he could feel my hands when I massaged up his legs. Nathan was real good at massage and I learned a lot from him. Some days, he’d work on one leg while I copied him on Ezra’s other leg. 

I was determined that he’d be back on his feet by spring. That was April 21st according to my calendar and we had our work cut out for us. Chris had dropped by with Chinese takeout towards the end of the third week and the three of us had a serious talk about our options. Ezra was on disability leave but I was out of comp time and I didn’t want to take any vacation because I wanted to be home when he finally got out of the hospital.

Chris suggested that I come back to work but only half days for a week then start back on a full schedule on March 15th. Ezra nodded real slow-like and I could see him agree. Our eyes met and I could see the regret in his gaze. It would be hard to be apart but he would be starting physical therapy every morning and I knew that he wanted to do that on his own.

That would be really hard for me to miss but I already knew that I wouldn’t be able to watch some guy hurt Ezra, even if it was for his own good. So, I agreed and told Chris that I’d be at work on Monday. He smiled, leaving us alone with our lemon chicken and Mongolian beef. I fed Ezra each bite while he fed me with kind of a shaky hand. He was slowly but surely working on exercising different parts.

I had to stop from doing everything for him so he could get used to doing it instead. I held my tongue and my offer of help until he got too tired. Then I would finish the chore while he took deep breaths and let go of the strain. I’d have been nuts by now but he just seemed to cope no matter what happened. I finally asked him how he did it and he smiled at me.

“One of the things that I learned in the Orient was a form of meditation along with my martial arts.” He was tired but still trying to stake awake for me. I leaned closer and stroked his hair, making him smile and relax a little more. “When the pain gets too bad, I go into whatever hurts and rest there until some of the pain subsides.”

“Inside the pain?” I couldn’t see how that would help.

“Hm-m-m, it’s usually a muscle or ligament that’s been stressed so going inside of the muscle means that part of the strain is gone. It takes energy to hurt so I relieve some of that energy by slipping onto the other side of the pain.” His eyes were almost shut now, just a gleam of green under his dark lashes. It kind of made sense to me but I was still wondering how he did it when he yawned real big. “Love you, angel-Vin.”

“I love you too, Ezra. Sweet dreams.” I kept on stroking his hair until I knew he was sound asleep. He was getting better and that was all that mattered. But I was so tired and I was scared that I wouldn’t be strong enough for him while he was healing. There was so little that I could do for him. 

He was the one in pain, the one who couldn’t walk . . . might never walk again. I rested my head on my arm and felt like crying, wishing that I could get onto the other side of this pain. A hand on my shoulder like to scared me to death but it was just Buck. I could see J.D. hovering in the doorway and I decided right there and then to resolve that situation.

Getting up, I gently kissed Ezra’s temple and motioned them out ahead of me. Shutting the door behind us, I smiled at Terry, the night nurse on duty. “He’s asleep, Terry.”

“Best thing for him, Vin. Gentlemen.” She grinned at the three of us and went on her way. She was a real sweetie and had taken good care of me when I was still sitting up with him. I don’t know if she knew we were lovers or not but if she did, it sure didn’t affect her care of both of us.

“Buck, there’s something I need to have you and J.D. do for us.” I sighed and led them around the corner to a little waiting room at the end of the hall. “I hate to ask you but Ezra’s real worried about it and I don’t want him to worry about anything but getting well.”

“Sure, Vin. Just tell me and I’ll do it.” He looked real serious and J.D. nodded too.

“Good, that’s a real relief.” I sighed again and ran a shaky hand through my hair. That reminded me of Ezra’s first request to me when he came out of that coma that had scared me so. He really liked the shampoo I used and I hated to tell him that I used it because it was cheap.

“Vin, it’s okay. You can ask us anything.” Buck looked serious and J.D. nodded firmly.

“I know but it’s kind of personal.” I acted real hesitant and put my left arm around J.D. then looped my right arm around Buck. “Ezra told me to tell you, Buck.” I took a deep breath and brought them together, chest to chest. “Quit foolin’ around and just love each other.”

You could have heard a pin drop while J.D. looked up at his roommate with such yearning that it brought tears to my eyes. And finally, Buck saw what Ezra had seen so long ago. He lifted a hand to J.D.’s cheek and our computer expert lifted a hand to bring him down to his level. Their first kiss was slow and light, kind of like Ezra’s and my first kiss.

Buck looked shell-shocked when he raised his head but J.D. was glowing brighter than the hall light. “I’ve loved you for a long time, Buck. But I didn’t think that you’d ever see me as anything more than a kid.”

“You are a kid.” He sighed but didn’t let go of him. “Compared to me, anyway. But I didn’t want to take advantage of you so I played it safe with the ladies.”

J.D.’s grin went sultry and he tugged Buck down again. “Then I guess I’ll have to take advantage of you.”

That kiss was powerful and real good to see. I walked around them and watched the hall so they didn’t get interrupted. More than anything, I wished that I had Ezra home. It seemed like forever since I’d been able to hold him the way those two were holding each other. Even though I’d gotten them together, I was jealous of them, too.

“Thanks, Vin.” Buck had an arm around J.D. and still looked kind of shocked but I figured that was a good look for him. 

J.D. agreed with me. “We’ll thank Ezra tomorrow. Right now, I’m going to take Buck home and molest him.”

I tried to sound serious. “Be gentle with him, J.D. You know that older men need real careful treatment so you don’t break them.”

“Hey!” Buck protested but J.D. and I were too busy laughing. He finally grinned sheepishly and I waved goodbye to them when they disappeared down the back stairs.

I wished them luck with all my heart and I took one last peek in at Ezra before I headed home to sleep.

***** 

A week later, Ezra was tired and hurting. The physical therapist was real regimental and harsh although he never once complained. I could feel the pain he tried to hide from me. He’d flinch from my touch at first but when I brushed his skin with just the tips of my fingers, he’d finally relax. I’d talk about work and slowly let my touch grow more massaging.

I’d had a flash of intuition and brought along some of that oil that smelled of magnolias. Just the scent would sometimes start him relaxing and soon he’d be a little puddle in the bed while I tenderly soothed his spasming muscles. I’d spoken to Nathan but he’d told me that the guy was the best. I held my tongue but I started reading up on it to see if I could find an alternative.

Friday afternoon, I was pouring him a cup of chrysanthemum tea that Miss Clover had left earlier when the door swung open and I saw a real surprised look on his face. Turning, I saw a short guy wearing a nice suit and green sunglasses along with a guy who looked like a leftover hippie from the sixties.

“Griffin?” Ezra sounded happy so I smiled at them.

“In the flesh, Ace. I heard through the grapevine that you forgot to duck.” The man in the sunglasses waved the other man to Ezra’s other side. “I brought my father-in-law to help you heal a little faster. Ezra Standish meet Kwai Chang Caine.”

“You’re a Shaolin.” Ezra’s eyes were looking at a jade disk that hung around the other guy’s neck.

“Correct. Kermit and Peter were coming out for a police conference and I . . .” he shrugged gracefully, “hitched a ride with them. I see a disturbance in your chi. Would you permit me to help you balance the energy within you?”

Ezra sighed and I could see him relax all over. “Please. I can’t read myself any longer.”

I didn’t know what that meant but the Shaolin seemed to. “The drugs do not help. But I see that your friend has the right idea.” He pointed to the small teapot and the cup of tea I’d just poured.

“Vin, meet Kermit Griffin, a . . . gentleman whom I met over a card table in Guatemala. Kermit, this is Vin Tanner, my partner.” Ezra introduced us and we all bowed to each other. “Caine, I would very much appreciate what help you can give.”

“You have over-stressed your muscles.” The Shaolin’s hands were slowly shaping Ezra’s body from two inches away. I’d never seen anything like it but by the time he got down to his feet, I could have sworn that I saw a golden haze around Ezra’s body again, like I had in the dream.

Ezra’s face had smoothed out, only then showing what a strain he’d been under. “The physical therapist believes in taking it to the point of pain before stopping.”

“They . . . often . . . do.” Caine brought his hands back up his body again and ended over Ezra’s forehead. “But I think we can help your body learn the way again without such pain. Perhaps Vin,” those wise eyes looked deep into mine as if he could read my mind and heart, “would be willing to help me?”

“Anything, if it helps Ezra.”

“Congratulations, Ace, it looks like you picked a winner.” Griffin smiled at both of us. “I’ll go back to the hotel, Caine. Vin can drop you off when you get finished. I don’t trust Peter alone with those pool side floozies.” 

Caine’s grin surprised me. “I believe it is the pool side Adonis who was eyeing him when we left.”

“Oh, yeah.” Griffin returned the smile and tossed a wave over his shoulder before leaving us alone.

“How long have those two been together?” Ezra asked the question I was thinking.

“Two years now as lovers and committed partners, although Kermit has retired from the police force and is now writing novels.” Caine took another pass over Ezra’s body before shaking his hands to one side. “Now, we will drink a cup of tea and then we shall begin.”

The next two hours ranked right up there with kissing Ezra for the first time. I learned things about the human body that I’d never known before. Caine explained ‘chi’ to me and how the nerves sometimes war against themselves when conflicting messages confuse them. Everything was interconnected and Ezra’s chi had been confused by all the different signals that started with getting shot and really got bad when the physical therapy started.

I’d had a hunch all along that something was wrong but like too many people, I trusted the medical people to know what was best. Caine showed me how to use friction to warm an entire muscle group after first getting permission from the nerves that bordered them. The doctors might say that it was all mumbo jumbo but it felt right to me and Ezra was practically purring when we finished.

The sleepy contented look in his eyes had been missing for too long. Caine left us alone for our good-byes and we kissed tenderly until we were breathless. I promised him that I’d be back early the next morning with a croissant fresh from the bakery. Just as I was leaving, I met Josiah coming in with dinner for us. I told him that I had an errand and I’d really appreciate it if he’d stay and eat with Ezra.

He lit up like a Christmas tree and agreed eagerly. The others didn’t like to break into our ‘together’ time but Ezra always enjoyed being with Josiah. I joined Caine near the elevators and we rode down together in contented silence. When we were in the Jag, I turned to him before starting the car.

“Can you stay for a few days and show me some more about helping Ezra?”

“Certainly. The bullet that remains needs to be coaxed into a safer position. Together, we can accomplish that.” He spoke so calmly that at first I didn’t understand what he was saying.

“You can do that?” I wanted to believe that, I really did.

“Yes. His body will work with us since the metal is a foreign body. By the time Monday arrives, he will be much improved.” He smiled that little half smile that I was beginning to recognize. “The doctors will be amazed.”

I couldn’t say a word. He was offering everything I could have possibly wanted short of getting that damn bullet totally out of Ezra. I had to clench my jaw and close my eyes hard to keep from breaking down totally in front of this man I’d just met but already trusted more than I did some of the men I’d known for years. His calm finally reached me and I started to relax again.

“I think I will ask you to pick out a restaurant for our first dinner here in Denver.” He said calmly and I started to laugh.

“I’d be glad to . . . um, what should I call you?” I started the car.

“Caine is fine.”

That evening ranks right up there with my first meal with Ezra, because I chose Miss Daisy’s and she fed us until we like to burst. She asked after Ezra and when I told her about the hospital, she gasped and scolded me for not telling her sooner. Josiah had picked up some of her food for us on several occasions but hadn’t known to tell her who it was for. I think she was planning meals for Ez’ before she bustled away to get our cornbread.

If anything could tempt him to eat, it was her cooking. 

Peter Caine was a tall, intense man who was probably a real good cop but I could see a duel going on inside of him. I’d have to know more about him but I was willing to bet that the path of the Shaolin was calling. Hell, I could hear it myself. To be able to heal instead of wound, even for a man who loves guns and shooting, that was a real seductive call. Especially now, when I was so sick of violence and the pain it brings.

Kermit Griffin radiated contentment with his writing and his lover. It was real good to see that his dad accepted the two of them so well. I still had no idea what Maude would say since we couldn’t find her to tell her about Ezra and me. The lawyer, Mr. Kennedy, had been beating the bushes for her but she was nowhere to be found. We’d left messages at all the usual haunts of the rich and famous but as far as I knew, she still didn’t even know about Ezra’s getting shot.

And I wasn’t looking forward to telling her that I was his significant other. He’d surprised the hell out of me by putting my name with his on the property deed. The lawyer had informed me of that when it came time to okay some of the medical procedures. Ezra had named me as his medical power of attorney but hadn’t told me ahead of time.

That still amazed me . . . the trust he had in me.

The others noticed my abstraction and let me alone until I could put those thoughts aside and finish my meal. We made an appointment to meet at Ezra’s room at 0900 and they drove back to the hotel while I drove back to the apartment. I changed Ezra’s pillow every day so I always had one with his scent on it to sleep with. I’d gone back to showers because hot baths weren’t any fun without Ezra in them.

And that night I dreamed again. 

***** 

Ezra was sitting in my old rocking chair under the pergola while I got my hands dirty potting a rose bush. It was a beautiful plant with one red and one white rose just blooming. The sun was hot on the back of my neck and when the shadow hit me, it felt good. Ezra stroked his fingers across my sweaty neck before kneeling and licking behind my ear.

His hands ran down my naked back into the back of my ragged denim shorts. I arched into him with my hands still full of plant and earth. “Angel-Vin, I believe that we need to fertilize that lovely rose bush. Hold still while I coax out a little moisture.”

I was unzipped in a heartbeat and those clever fingers of his had my cock out, stroking it with just enough pressure to bring me to aching hardness. “Ezra!”

“Yes, angel?” He kissed the back of my neck. I shivered although we were surrounded by heat and light. “Just relax, Vin and let me take care of you.”

“Always.” I promised him. “But you need to let me take care of you too.”

“Indeed yes, my love.” Those elegant fingers of his tightened a little more around me and the friction began to burn all my nerve endings. “I love touching you, feeling your beautiful cock harden for me.” His other hand rolled my balls and I arched into him. “That’s right, Vin, show me how much you like this.”

“Love you, Ezra. Always and all ways.” Turning my head a little, I got his lips on mine, his tongue tracing my mouth before dipping inside.

He was heat and lightning and love.

Twining my tongue around his, I tasted tea and croissants. And something that was just Ezra. The cry of a hawk overhead came to me at the same moment I burst and watered the roses with my seed. When I went boneless, Ezra held me tight against him. “I’ll always love you, Vin, in all ways.”

And I rested in his arms, content to love and be loved.

*****

The next morning, I awoke refreshed as I hadn’t been since the last time we had shared a dream. I could hardly wait to see what he had dreamed. Cleaning up, I headed for the bakery on the way to the hospital. Ezra surely did like their croissants. At the hospital, I smiled at Nancy, the morning nurse on his ward. She told me that he’d had a peaceful night and that was good news.

When I knocked and entered, he was just finishing shaving himself with the electric razor. His smile was bright and he kissed me with fervor, telling me of his dream with a gleam in his eye. I just laughed and started feeding him his breakfast. He ate it all then told me to take the covers off of him.

And that’s when he surprised the hell out of me.

He raised his whole left leg off the bed a good inch. Laying it down, he repeated it with his right leg. Then he wiggled all his toes and flexed both feet for me. He was beaming the whole time and I couldn’t see any of the strain that such a movement would have cost him two days before.

I hugged him close and silently thanked his goddess, Kwan Yin, for giving me back my Ezra. For the first time since this whole mess had started, I really thought that he’d get completely well. And Caine had said that we could move that damn bullet away from the danger zone of his spine. That was something that I would work hard for.

After all, we had a garden to plant.

******************


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ezra comes home.

*****************   
Ezra, part 21  
***************** 

I was on my feet and walking once again across the room, stopping and looking out the sealed window before turning to walk slowly back to my Vin. He was beaming from ear to ear and even Dr. Schoonover had to admit that my progress was good enough for me to go home.

Finally, after six weeks and two days, I was going home.

And I owed it all to a Shaolin priest and my lover.

Caine came every day for the next five and my Vin soaked up his teachings like a sponge. I felt like a new man by the time they were done with me. Monday morning had come and gone without the torture of physical therapy from the man I’d come to fear. I’d tried not to but he seemed to enjoy pushing me past my limits of pain. Each day had been worse until I was ready to break down completely.

I held on by the skin of my teeth, denying him his pleasure. But I shook like a leaf when he finally left trying desperately to calm down before Vin came. Whether he hated the ATF or just southerners, I had no idea but I definitely brought out his sadistic streak. Nathan had assured us that he was the best physical therapist there was but you couldn’t have proved it by me. 

But I told him I had no further need of his services with Caine at my left and Vin at my right that Monday morning. He’d blustered with cutting denunciations of eastern claptrap and weak-willed patients who weren’t capable of committing to real work. Vin had gone so still that I knew he was ready to go for the idiot’s throat but Nathan had come in right behind him and heard it all.

Unprofessional was the least of what he called the bully who had made my life hell. Vin relaxed and I rather enjoyed the tongue-lashing that our team healer gave him before ordering him out. When I introduced Nathan to Caine, I was afraid that he might share the same opinion of eastern medicine but he’d been quite respectful and even interested in some of the massage techniques that the Shaolin was showing Vin. In fact, he’d stayed and done some learning himself.

And now, I was soon to be free to go outside, breathe fresh air, ride home and hold Vin close. Not to mention soaking for a day or so in a nice, hot bath.

The paperwork was never-ending and it seemed that Dr. Schoonover wouldn’t be satisfied until he’d personally examined every square inch of my skin. And he still couldn’t explain the latest x-ray that showed the bullet had moved over three inches away from my spine. Vin had waited until after the good doctor had left still muttering before telling me what Caine had told him.

My life had received so many miracles lately that I wasn’t even surprised. But Vin was still my greatest gift from a benign deity. He told me that he’d taken to talking to Kwan Yin and asking for her help. Poor Lady had been listening to both of us for quite long enough. It was time we went home.

And finally, Nancy was wheeling me out to the curb while Vin carried my suitcase. But Pegasus was no where to be seen, instead he directed my nurse to a forest green Chevy pick-up near the emergency room entrance. 

“Vin?” I looked from the truck to him, to find that he was grinning ear to ear.

“Well, since I didn’t have to pay rent for the last two months, I went ahead and got my new truck. She’s real comfortable and this way, we’ve got plenty of cargo space for when we’re working on the warehouse.” He opened the passenger door and stowed the suitcase behind the seat. “Plus, she’ll be easier for you to get in and out of while you finish healing up.”

I rose a little shakily from the wheelchair while Nancy steadied me. “She’s beautiful, Vin. And you’re quite right, it will be easier with that nice runner at just the right height.” I turned to Nancy and accepted her hug. “Ma’am, you are a queen among women. Thank you for all your care.”

“Ezra, you were the best patient I’ve ever tended.” She kissed my cheek and winked at me. “And if you weren’t taken, I’d have made such a play for you. Take care of each other.”

Vin got his own hug and then she was wheeling the chair away while he helped me up into the cab. And if he got a few caresses in, well, that was just a small down payment on all the caresses that we’d not been able to exchange in that cold little room. I really was looking forward to going home.

“Okay?” Vin looked up at me and took my nod for a yes. “We’ll be home before you know it. And there’s a bath with your name on it, just a’waitin’.”

“Oh, yes.” I’d been dreaming of a long hot bath for weeks. But more importantly, I needed Vin. Beside me, behind me, holding me so close I could no longer tell which body was his and which was mine. 

“Fifteen minute, green eyes.” He was behind the wheel and the motor started with a purr.

“And what happened to Betsy?” I settled back against the comfortable seat and rested my head against the cloth headrest. Instead of a bench seat, there were two extremely comfortable bucket seats in a light tan that matched the rest of the interior.

“I donated her to the Sisters of Mercy.” He looked both ways at the light and pulled out into traffic. “Turns out that Sister Ernestine was a mechanic in the Army before she became a nun. She’s started a automotive class and the kids are going to learn how a car works piece by piece.”

“Goodness,” I blinked. “Rather like donating your body to science. I like it.”

“Me, too.” He grinned at me. “I didn’t like to think of her just going to the scrap heap. How does Isabella, Bella for short, feel to you?”

“Bella feels just fine, Vin, smooth and more comfortable than that damn hospital bed.” I was watching the scenery go by with a smile. There were little hints of green here and there, showing that Spring couldn’t be far away. “Tomorrow, may we go see the warehouse?”

“Sure. We’ve got a lot done, Ez’. I think you’ll like what you see.” He seemed to be trying to hide his grin and I wondered what kind of surprise he had in store for me.

“I love you, Vin.” I hadn’t told him that today.

He shot a glance at me that was so sultry I felt myself begin to harden just a little. “I love you, too. And as soon as I get you home, I’ll show you.”

“Yes, please.” I held out my hand and he took it, bringing it to his lips and kissing it gently. “Are we seeing the others later?”

“Tomorrow, Ez’. Today is just for the two of us. Tomorrow we’re meeting at Miss Daisy’s where she’s busy cooking up all your favorites.” He chuckled. “We may have to haul you home in the back of the truck if you eat everything she’s got planned.”

I smiled at the thought of the brisk little woman who’d come to the hospital, taken one look at my lunch and thrown it out. She’d then begun taking out dish after dish from her canvas carryall. I thought I’d died and gone to heaven at the first taste of her coleslaw and the finely minced ham was true ambrosia. Vin came in and got his share but I made sure that Nancy got her taste before she went off duty.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned over the course of the years, it is to be very, very nice to the people who have your life in their hands. After that taste of Miss Daisy’s cooking, Nancy was a co-conspirator who gladly helped Vin smuggle in her tasty lunches. I firmly believe that good food, great massages and all the tender loving care that Vin lavished on me were the reasons that I’d cut a good two weeks off my hospital stay.

My apartment building had never looked so good to me before. Vin parked out front and told me sternly to stay put until he came around to get me. He’s so cute when he’s being a mother hen. But the trip, even though the ride had been quite comfortable, had tired me to the point that I was grateful for his helping hands. The running board came in very handy when it looked like a six-foot drop to the ground.

I still jarred myself a little and I knew that Vin had caught my gasp when his eyes narrowed. “Slow and easy, Ez’. I’ll come back for the suitcase in a bit.”

Nodding, I accepted his strong arm and concentrated on walking slowly to the entrance and into the elevator. The ride up was short and Vin had the door unlocked before I could truly savor the anticipation of being home. The place looked just the same except for the addition of a rocking chair.

“Surprise, Ezra!” Vin shut the door behind us and guided me to the chair. “Sit down and test rock her.”

“Is it that battered old thing you rescued?” I sat down and tried an experimental rock or two. It felt just fine, the broad arms at just the right height for resting my hands and the seat seemingly curved to just fit me.

“Sure could. Buck and J.D. finished stripping, sanding and staining her for us as a kind of thank you for getting them together.” He grinned up at me from where he knelt at my feet; his hands busy untying my shoes. “I liked the kind of yellow pine look. It feels happy to me.”

“It’s very, very comfortable. We may have to take turns rocking in her.” I leaned my head back and took a deep breath just because I could.

“Good,” he removed my shoes and gave me a short foot massage that had me purring for him. “Just rest here, Ez’ while I go bring in your suitcase. You need anything before I go?”

Opening my eyes, I looked at him. “Just you, Vin. All I ever need is you.”

He stood and leaned into me, kissing me again but a little harder this time. I feasted on his lips while my hands reached up to bring him closer. But he broke away with a groan. “Ez’, behave now. I need to finish the outdoor chores so’s I can come in and ravish you in the bathtub.”

“And the bedroom.” I reminded him.

“And most definitely the bedroom.” He grinned and kissed both my hands before leaving. 

I knew that he’d hurry and I was determined to help in my own seduction so I got up and walked slowly to the bathroom. He’d laid out some bright yellow towels that I’d forgotten I had and I relaxed a little more. It would be a long time before I could see white towels, white sheets and white blankets without shivering. This was just another instance of how well he knew me. I turned on the water and poured in some of my scented oil. The sweet smell of magnolias made me relax all over and I unhurriedly began to undress.

“Somehow, I just knew that you wouldn’t wait for me.” Vin’s arms came around me and I rested against his strong body.

“Nope, I’ve been looking forward too much to this.” I let him unbutton my shirt. Then he turned me so I could undress him. “And I have definitely been fantasizing about doing this.” I slipped his shirt off and immediately started unzipping my favorite jeans. 

“Me too,” he had me unzipped and we were both in a hurry when we pushed off pants and boxers. The sight of that long, lean body never fails to move me. He’s so very beautiful everywhere. “Oh, Ezra, I’ve missed seeing all of you.”

“Yes, indeed, your massages were wonderful but I missed touching you all over.” I let him help me into the tub, feeling awkward and clumsy with my still sore muscles. But the hot water felt heavenly and I relaxed against the back of the tub with a blissful sigh.

“I swear you’re more and more like that old cat Clancy that you told be about.” He chuckled and joined me in the tub. 

Opening my eyes, I agreed with him. “Indeed, I feel boneless and very lazy. I guess that you’ll just have to bathe me.”

“You bet I will, Ezra.” His gaze was hotter than the water and his soft caresses left fire in their wake. “Why look, it appears that you’ve got a swelling problem. Would you like me to take care of it?”

I batted my eyelashes at him. “If you would be so kind, Vin? I can’t imagine why I’d be swelling like this.”

“Really?” His eyes shot a wicked glance at me before he moved between my legs and brought my hips up slowly so my cock bobbed underneath his chin. “Well, this looks mighty dangerous, Ez’. I’d better see if a little massage will make it go away.”

I had to close my eyes when he started licking me from root to crown. Nothing had ever felt so good. I knew that this time would be fast because it had been so long since I’d been touched with such love. I felt painfully swollen and he must have sensed that because without warning, he sucked me in and began tickling my crease with those long elegant fingers of his.

Tightening all over, I panted through his teasing before releasing into his care. And that’s when I really relaxed all over. His hands were the only reason that I didn’t slide right under the water. He was crooning something but the roaring in my ears blocked out everything but the sound. I was safe with Vin and I always would be. I was vaguely aware that he had moved us so he could cradle me against his chest. Breathing was all I was capable of doing right then.

When I came back after my little nap, he was lazily washing my chest and swirling patterns around my nipples. “Vin. Thank you. What about you?”

He chuckled. “Shoot, Ezra, watching you come made me come too. You’re the sexiest man in the world when you release like that.”

I took the soap from him and began to wash that satin skin I love to touch. His muscles rippled under my fingers and I swear his cock lifted towards me again as if I was true north and he was a lodestone. But I grew tired so quickly that all too soon we had to leave our warm bath for bed.

He dried me all over, gently blotting the water from the ugly scar above my heart. Then he led me to the bedroom and pulled back the silk duvet to show me the new deep green sheets. I slid into bed with a sigh and he tucked me in with a kiss and a soft admonition to take a little nap while he got lunch ready. I was asleep before he left the room.

A half-hour later, I woke to the smell of Miss Daisy’s black bean soup. I stretched all over and opened my eyes to see Vin carrying in a tray full of food. And for the first time in quite a while, I felt hungry. Pulling myself up, I accepted the tray from him so he could stuff both pillows behind me. Leaning back, I waited until he joined me.

“Did you freeze this earlier or does Miss Daisy deliver now?” I teased him and he grinned at me cross-legged by my side. 

“Froze it yesterday and followed her directions exactly for warming it up. She was pretty stern about that.” He accepted the first spoonful before taking it from me and feeding me one. I felt surrounded by his love and caring.

“Well, you did a great job and so I shall tell her tomorrow. Oh, that is good.” I savored the rich flavor then leaned over and kissed him. “And it tastes even better from your lips, Vin.”

He chuckled and we finished our meal of soup and kisses very slowly. I felt truly relaxed and almost euphoric. It just felt so good to be home. Vin took the tray back to the kitchen and almost at once, I heard the strains of Rimsky-Korsakov’s Scheherazade from the living room speakers. I’d had a radio in the hospital but the classic station had come and gone fitfully. I disliked the portable players that used batteries because they’re so bad for the environment but I’d used one the week of physical therapy to try and get my composure back.

But here I didn’t have to listen to tinny earphones, just the glorious swell of music. With a sigh, I fell back to sleep to the strains of Scheherazade’s violins. When I awoke again, Vin was reading by my side and I lay there for a long moment watching him. He was such an amazing man. Even with his dyslexia diagnosed, he still had a hard time reading but he persevered and was slowly reading his way through my collection of poetry.

I thought I recognized my Shakespeare book of sonnets but I was willing to wait for him to notice I was awake. It felt good to just watch him propped against the doubled pillow, his lips sometimes silently sounding out the words that puzzled him. His beautiful light brown hair gleamed in the sunshine that filtered through the west windows. It must be later than I thought if the sun was so far advanced.

Time really didn’t matter just now. We had all the time in the world. It felt so strange to know that I wouldn’t have to go undercover again. The doctors had told me that it would be six months before I could leave the office and not even the prospect of all that paperwork could make me tense. But Mr. Larabee had listened to my halting request to no longer perform undercover and agreed quietly.

At first, I’d been afraid that I’d no longer have a place on the team but Larabee had reassured me that the entire team would be taking on a slightly new assignment. Our record had been so good that we were about to become the official mentors to some of the younger teams. Josiah’s profiling had often been loaned out to other teams and Vin routinely coached other team shooters. J.D. was the acknowledged computer expert of the entire ATF building.

Notice had been taken of our success and work ethic, especially the seamless whole that we became in an investigation. The head office in Washington, D. C. had decided that it could be learned by some of the other teams. I wasn’t sure about that since I thought of my team as more family than work team. But I was too relieved to still have a place among my fellow agents.

Now, I watched Vin turn a page and just luxuriated in the ability to look at him.

“You just goin’ to watch me read?” His gaze caught mine.

“Yep.” I smiled, turning onto my side and letting my hand beneath the duvet wander over to his stomach to stroke those firm muscles.

“You wouldn’t be getting all frisky on me, now, would you.” He laid the book aside and pushed the covers back, baring himself to my admiring gaze.

“I believe that a little afternoon snack would be appreciated, Vin. And I see something that I’d like to . . . nibble on.” Inching down, I let my fingers graze his cock and it lifted to me like a bird to its nest. He was hard and smooth, his velvet crown a delicate shade of rose that drew my lips to taste him after such a long time without him.

He groaned and let his fingers card through my hair. “I hope you don’t want to cut your hair, Ez’. I like having these curls tickling me.”

I let him go for a moment, letting my fingers delicately roll his balls. “Only until I return to work, Vin. I look more like a shaggy dog instead of a wild hawk like you.”

Chuckling, he kept on caressing my hair while I went back to feasting on his cock. I’d missed his taste intensely and he was leaking steadily for me. Relaxing my throat muscles, I took him all the way in and swallowed around him while he whimpered. I loved that sound and tried to provoke it whenever I could.

“Ezra, I’m close.” His strangled whisper made me smile around him and I hummed along with Rimsky-Korsakov. That sent him right over the edge and he pulsed out his seed into my waiting mouth. He tasted better than black bean soup although I would never tell Miss Daisy that.

He sighed and massaged the back of my neck while I made sure that I didn’t miss anything. “I missed you so much, Ez’. Thank God you’re all right.”

I slid up and into his arms, resting my head over his heart to listen to the beat that was my lullaby. “I’ll be fine, Vin. All I need to heal is you.”

Kissing the top of my head, he held me close. “And all I need is you. Rest now and I’ll return the favor a little later.”

With a sleepy murmur, I let his heartbeat lull me to sleep. I dreamed of the rooftop garden, the sun shining on my face while a cool breeze flowed around me where I sat in the rocker under the pergola. And Vin was by my side, reading a poem that he’d written for me. It was the closest thing to heaven I’d ever felt. I was truly the luckiest man in the world.

And tomorrow, the team would welcome me back. I could hardly wait.

***********************   
Vin, part 22  
******************* 

I love watching Ezra sleep and it sure did seem like I’d been doing that a lot lately. But he was getting better and that was all that mattered. The scar above his heart was still ugly and sore but Caine had sent him some herbal salve that I was to rub gently onto it. He wrote that it would help the healing process and I thought that maybe I could see a little improvement already.

He still tired so easily that I was a little afraid of letting him make love to me. But he seemed to need my touch and the good Lord knows that I needed his. My right hand had been busy while he was in the hospital and I knew that he hadn’t even had that relief. It would have placed a strain on his heart that neither of us wanted. And truth to tell, I was still scared of hurting him.

He’d just kept getting thinner and paler every day he was there. Until Caine came. I’d known that something was wrong with the physical therapist but when Ezra fired him and he sneered at us, I like to lost my temper in a big way. But Nathan had heard too and he laid into him with a vengeance. I was still angry with the man but J.D. had shown me a better way to make sure he didn’t hurt anyone else.

We sicced the IRS onto him via an anonymous email about under the table cash payments that he’d taken during the last two years.

I let go of my anger when I noticed that Ezra was waking up. There would never be anything but pleasure in our bed. It was about six o’clock and I was hungry again. I hoped that he was too. He stretched a little and wiggled a bit before those beautiful green eyes opened to see me. I love the way he lights up then, like I’m an ice cream sundae with chocolate sprinkles on top.

“I’m hungry.” He said with a real surprised look on his face.

“Good. We got more Miss Daisy treats just waitin’ to be heated up.” I sat up and he did too. “How do you feel?”

“Lazy, sated but hungry for food and you.” He leaned against my shoulder, nuzzling my neck with a lick. “And maybe another bath.”

“Our water bill is going to go right through the roof.” I chuckled and kissed his cheek, which was all I could reach of him. Pouting, he looked at me and I caved immediately. “But I’m looking forward to washing your hair.”

“Yes, please!” Ezra lit up and kissed me sweetly. “I missed that more than almost anything else.”

“Good, after we eat then I’ll wash you.” I promised him and rolled out of bed. “You want to help or nap some more?”

“Help.” He came out of bed on his own while I watched him without seeming to. I held out his robe and he slipped it on.

“She made you sweet potatoes and ham so I know that you’re going to love it.” I slid my arm around him in case he needed it but left it loose if he didn’t.

He leaned into me and threaded his arm around me. “I will enjoy it if only because of where we are eating it. Perhaps on the sofa?”

“Ezra P. Standish!” I pretended to be shocked. “Eating on the sofa is one of those things that I never thought you’d do.”

“Don’t care, I want to put my feet on the coffee table, too.” He smiled sweetly at me and I had to laugh.

“Then that’s what we’ll do, Ez’. We can even watch the hockey game from last night because I taped it just for you.” I hugged him close and only let go when we reached the kitchen. “Now, I’ll get out the food, while you read Miss Daisy’s directions to me.”

We got dinner ready and went in to the living room to eat it. The hockey game was real exciting and I kept an unobtrusive eye on him. Ezra ate real hearty for a few moments then his appetite failed him like it had for the last few weeks. That had me a little worried but Caine had said that it would be a while before he remembered the urge to eat.

He dozed off during the first intermission and I fast forwarded it to the next period but left it frozen there until he woke up. I watched him slide towards me and slid an arm around him so he’d land safely against my shoulder. He murmured my name and I felt tears well. I’d come so close to losing him when we’d had so little time together. Part of me wanted to wrap him up and never let him go outside again. 

But most of me just wanted to love him senseless and keep him close.

“Vin?” His sleepy murmur brought me back from my thoughts.

“Ready for the next period?” When he nodded, I clicked the video back on.

He snuggled real close and watched the game while teasing me with one hand between the folds of my robe. I rested my head on his hair and just thanked God for him. His team won and he was grinnin’ like to bust at that, telling me real sassy like that they were going to win it all this year. But I could see his eyes drooping again so I agreed with him and got him up on his feet.

Swaying a bit, he let me hold him up all the way back into our bedroom. I promised him another bath in the morning if he’d go to sleep now and he agreed sleepily, letting me tuck him in before I left him for a few moments to take care of lights and such. When I got back, he was sound asleep and I slipped between the sheets only to have him move into my arms with a murmur of my name that made my eyes tear up again.

Too close. I’d almost lost him and I vowed silently that he’d never be in danger. Not if I could prevent it. I fell asleep with that thought firmly implanted in my mind.

*** 

But I awoke to my Ezra pleasuring my morning erection right into a gentle climax. I was shaking when he shared my taste with me. “Good morning, Vin. You are much nicer to wake up to than a nurse come to check my temperature.”

I held him real close and kissed him back. “Well, that all depends on how I . . . check your temp, doesn’t it?” 

He chuckled and wiggled just a little on top of me and damned if my cock didn’t try to come back to life. Only with Ezra was I so insatiable. Tipping him onto his back, I took in that big cock of his and sucked him right into release. Watching him relax, I thanked God that he was getting better everyday.

Those bright green eyes of his were sparkling when they finally opened. “Breakfast then the warehouse?”

I smiled at the thought of all the surprises the guys and I had for him. “Yep, breakfast, a bath and then we’ll head over to the warehouse.”

“Good.” He smiled at me and got slowly up from the bed.

I kept an eye on him but let him putter around at his own speed. We had no schedule and the guys would be at the warehouse from 10 o’clock on. We’d be eating lunch at Miss Daisy’s and then I’d bring him home so he could take a nap. That would be enough for his first day out.

He asked me no questions, seemingly content to just be with me and let things happen as they would. I was pretty sure that he hadn’t quite rejoined the real world yet but I didn’t want him to feel like he had to any time soon. I’d be home with him for a week before I had to go back to work and I figured it was the best vacation of my whole life. Spring was in the air and Ezra was out of that damn hospital.

It just didn’t get any better than this.

He finished his bowl of oatmeal and an entire cup of tea while I mopped up my eggs with the toast. I tried not to keep looking at him but I just couldn’t help myself. He had a little trouble with his socks because he got dizzy when he leaned down. I held back with all my willpower not to jump in and do it for him. Caine had said that he needed to slowly start doing normal things again.

But it was hard to watch him turn white and rest his head on his knees for a long moment before finishing with his socks. I was dressed long before he was so I went down to bring the truck around and check on the weather. The sun was out and the breeze was fresh instead of cold. I could hardly wait to show Ezra what we’d done in the warehouse.

He met me at the front door and I bit my tongue hard to keep from nagging at him. His scarf was around his neck but he’d put on the leather jacket that made him look so sexy. It was all I could do not to pull him into my arms and kiss him right there on the front step with all the neighbors watching. He looked so proud of himself.

But I noticed that his hands were shaking a little when he pulled the seatbelt around him and clicked it tight. His eyes were gentle when he caught me sneaking a peek at him. “I’m fine, Vin. A little unsteady perhaps but so long as I have your strong arm there to hang onto when I need it, I’ll be just fine.”

“You’ve got my arm and anything else you want of mine, Ezra. I love you.” It wasn’t very flowery but it made his eyes tear up for a moment.

“I love you, too, Vin. Now, let’s go see all your hard work.” He rested his head back against the headrest and I put her in gear. “And how did your truck come to be named, Isabella?”

So I told him about Inez taking one look at her and saying how ‘bella’ she was. Isabella just came naturally after that. He laughed and I smiled to myself. But the closer we came to the warehouse, the more anxious I suddenly felt. What if he hated what we’d done to her? His plans had just been little sketches that I’d found in his desk after he went undercover. What if they were doodles and not what he really wanted?

“Vin, I will love whatever you’ve done with the warehouse.” His hand rested on my arm and his eyes were warm with the same affection he always had for me. 

“We used some of your sketches. Jase and Lee liked them and kind of worked out what it would take to make them possible.” We were still two blocks from Adams Street and my palms were sweating.

“My sketches?” He sounded real puzzled and I risked a look to see his eyebrows wrinkle up. Then it cleared and he grinned. “In the bottom desk drawer?”

“Un-uh.” Oh, that was real professional, Vin. 

“I’ve had those for years, Vin. Back when I was taking some courses at UCLA, I fooled around with energy efficient plans. I’ve always wanted to make them come to life. I can hardly wait to see how they turned out.” He sounded real excited and I felt myself relax.

Pulling up to the alley garage door, I pressed the door opener and waited for it to go all the way up before driving Isabella inside. The guys were waiting by the workbenches and I saw Jase and Lee with them before Ezra did. Saying a quick prayer, I parked Bella and watched J.D. rush over to open Ezra’s door. I wasn’t the only one who was glad that my Ezra was out of that damn hospital.

I stayed out of the way while they all greeted him. He had that beaming smile on that I loved to see and I could see his eyes busy taking in all the changes on the ground level. We’d made it the basis of our operations and who ever got the other floors would have off the street parking too. We’d fixed up six parking stalls along one side and the opposite side had storage partitions that could lock. The third side had workbenches with pegboards above holding all the tools that we were using on this project and below the toolboxes we checked out each day.

We all crowded on the freight elevator and Ezra exclaimed at how quiet it was when it began to rise. The second floor was still a big echoing room but at the touch of a switch, the lights bloomed over the polished oak floors. I knew that Nathan had started taking an interest in this space and even brought Rain to come and see it. I thought that Ezra would enjoy having team members as tenants because he’d spoken of Buck and J.D. taking the floor beneath ours.

Leaving those lights on, we went on up to the floor that I’d started to think of as Buck’s. Rooms had been created on this level with studs and drywall. The kitchen was in and semi-working along with the bathroom. All the plumbing had been roughed in along with the electric service but most of the counters and appliances were missing. Ezra listened closely to Jase and Buck while they explained in tandem some of the things that differed from his drawings.

I was practically dancing with impatience by the time we’d toured the whole space and got all the questions answered. I’d of hyperventilated but Chris was doing his best to keep me from passing out and I appreciated his efforts. What if Ezra hated what we’d done on our floor? I found myself by his side when we got back on the elevator. He was leaning on my arm a little and I could see the little tired lines between his eyes.

Jase and Lee came too and the elevator had never seemed so big with just the four of us. Then the door opened and I saw Ezra’s eyes get real big. The other two were watching him too and we exchanged questioning looks when he didn’t say anything. He walked into the living room and slowly approached the dark-green granite counter. Running his hands over it, he moved around one end and into the kitchen proper. The refrigerator was the most energy efficient one made by a company out in California.

The under-the-counter washer and dryer at one end were also energy efficient and supposedly would only cost $26 a year to run. The sink was stainless steel with an arching faucet that reminded me of a dolphin. The cupboards were light oak that matched the floors I’d sanded. I finally remembered to flip the light switch on and the twelve bulbs scattered all over the space made everything shine.

“It’s magnificent.” He leaned against the counter and looked at us. “I love it.”

I thought for a moment that I’d pass out from relief. He liked it. The colors and everything were okay. He had questions but Jase and Lee took turns explaining why we’d used the materials we had. Then he wanted to see the rest of it and I leant him my arm again. He was shaking just a little but then he’d been on his feet for almost an hour and I knew he’d need to sit soon.

But first we had to show him the second bedroom with its three-quarter bath. It was painted in soft yellow and the south clerestory windows gave it kind of a glowing look. I had already bought a double bed with a bookcase headboard and the Sisters had found me a beautiful star quilt that really dressed it up. He smiled when he saw it and touched it gently. The fixtures in the bathroom were white with a green tile floor and splash-board. He nodded his approval and then asked to see the master bedroom. Jase and Lee waited in the kitchen while I guided him to the door.

He just stood there while I watched his eyes move around the room that was almost twice the size of the other bedroom. It was cooler here but the east windows flooded the room with morning light, splashing up onto the cream colored walls. By the walk-in closet, a green leather chair with footstool sat, looking real inviting. He sighed a little and I felt him lean hard into my side.

“Vin, I love you. Will you like living here?” He urged me towards the bathroom door.

“As long as you’re here, it’s home, Ez’.” I felt better about what we’d picked out and now I could hardly wait for him to see our new bathroom.

“So very true, my love. Oh,” he stopped dead in the doorway and looked from one side to the other. We’d put in two cream colored Corian sinks on the east wall with storage underneath. The south wall had the big tub on it with steps up the side. It looked bigger than the one in our apartment but it wasn’t. You couldn’t see the whirlpool jets from here but they were installed and ready to go.

The west wall had the shower unit walled in by the toilet in its own alcove. Then the linen closet filled up the rest of the space. The tiles were green and cream with little gold diamonds set in the middle of each four tiles. It looked real clean and welcoming, I thought. The clerestory windows here let in the morning light but kept it real private. With the great big closet on the north wall, both rooms were as energy efficient as we could make them.

“Vin, it’s beautiful. You must have worked day and night to get so much done.” He leaned in and kissed me gently. “I couldn’t have done better myself. I love the way you read my mind. Are we ready to move in?”

I blushed at the compliments but got worried at his paleness. “Why don’t you try out our new chair while I get Jase and Lee in to bring you up to speed?”

He nodded and let me help him over to the new furniture. Sinking into it with a sigh, he repositioned the pillow and I pulled his feet up and onto the over-sized footstool. “Oh, that feels wonderful, Vin. I love the way you take care of me.”

“Taking care of you is my favorite thing to do.” I leaned in and kissed him tenderly, thanking God again that he liked what we’d done.

“Angel-Vin.” He sighed against my lips and stroked my cheek until I wanted to purr for him. He chuckled and leaned back against the chair. “Before we christen this chair, I think we’d better have Jase and Lee in.”

I pouted a little but called for them to come in. Ezra praised them and they pulled out their notebooks to fill him in on what still needed to be done. The punch list for our floor still had fifteen things on it but most of them were back ordered items that should come within the next month. I sat on the footstool and watched Jase think while pacing from one side of the room to the other while Lee sat cross-legged on the floor taking notes.

It took almost half an hour to go over everything about our floor and I called a halt when I saw how tired Ezra looked. But the important decisions were made and I was excited about moving into our new place. Jace used his cell phone to call a friend of his who ran a small moving company and we were soon set to be packed up on Monday and moved on Tuesday. The guys had already volunteered to take enough of our stuff over on Sunday so Ezra would have a place to nap when he needed to.

I was hoping that the whole bedroom and bathroom could be set up so we’d both have a place to retreat. Then again, we could always christen the guest bed, I grinned to myself. We took a quick look around the rest of the big open area where the bookcases edged the length of the whole north wall and a home office would be set up. We started down in the elevator and on third floor, my smile must have given us away because Buck whooped when he saw us and hugged Ezra real gentle like. We got sorted out and left in a group for Miss Daisy’s.

Ezra closed his eyes and rested while holding my hand. I drove slow and steady to give him a little time to recoup his energy before we had to eat. If I could have given him a jolt of my own, I would have but not even Caine had told me how to do that. The food would help and the friend vibes would go a long way to making him feel part of the team again.

Miss Daisy had a big table all set up for us and Ezra was no more sat down before she had a glass of sweet tea in his hand and a basket of her cornbread in front of him. He took a long drink and sighed happily while the rest of us got seated and our server quickly distributed more cornbread. Josiah was the only one who’d been here before so Ezra and I were kept busy explaining the menu. Not that we had choices today since she’d already informed us what we’d be having.

Nathan was practically moaning over the cornbread and when his mouth was empty, he made a fervent promise to bring Rain here within the week. I liked the idea that Miss Daisy’s might become a place where we could meet outside of work and I caught Ezra’s wink at me, which told me that he’d probably read my mind again. With anyone else that might have been scary but I’d bound my heart to his and he to me so it just seemed right.

Her pickled okra and coleslaw came out first then tender roast beef with new potatoes in a butter dill sauce that made Ezra sigh real contented like and eat almost all of them on his plate. I could see that he was making an effort but all too soon he was just playing rather than eating. I helped him out by making sure that it all disappeared and he rubbed my knee beneath the table in thanks.

But he made room for her apple-rhubarb tart with cinnamon ice cream melting slowly over the crispy crust. The whole table went silent in appreciation and she just smiled and nodded her head in approval. There wasn’t anything left on the table and we’d pretty much polished our plates when we sat back, replete at last.

Ezra wasn’t the only one who looked like he needed a nap. Josiah had been watching him closely and he sent me a worried look when Ezra sighed again. I nodded and asked everybody if they’d be willing to help on Sunday afternoon so we could get some stuff over to the place ahead of the movers. They all agreed that they thought it would be fun and I promised that we’d provide dinner.

We left for home and I quick put Ezra to bed, lying down with him until he fell asleep. His pulse was a little fast but he was breathing easily and I didn’t think that he’d done harm to himself. He’d just tired himself out with all the walking. Slowly, I eased out of the bed and shut the door behind me so my noise wouldn’t bother him. I’d already picked up some boxes from a rental place and I put them together so I had something to put the linens from the hall closet in.

Another box took care of all the stuff in the drawers of the bathroom sink. I left out our soap, shampoo and oil. Ezra would want another bath tonight and so would I. I kept filling boxes until I ran out of them. But I labeled each one so we’d be able to find things later. I hadn’t done that the last time I moved and I regretted it with every box I opened trying to find my coffee mugs.

“Vin.” Ezra had gotten up and come to find me.

I stopped what I was doing and went to give him a hug. He rested his head on my shoulder while I rubbed his back. “Another bath, Ezra? I don’t expect you want to eat anymore.”

He shuddered. “Tomorrow will be soon enough for that, Vin. I feel stuffed to the gills. Some tea would be nice though.”

“Tea it is. Why don’t you chose something to play on the stereo while I get it ready?” I suggested and he kissed me softly in agreement. He went off to pick out one of his classics and I went smiling into the kitchen to brew some tea. Tomorrow would be a good day and for the first time, we would be sleeping in our own home.

I could hardly wait.

*****************


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's moving day.

*****************   
Ezra, part 23  
***************** 

I awoke with a feeling of anticipation that rivaled any I had ever felt before. Vin and I would be moving into our home today. Our home – what an amazing event and one that made me catch my breath in disbelief. After the hell of undercover and hospital life, I was finally going to live a normal life with the person I loved more than any other.

Who was just now coming in with a tea tray filled with all kinds of things to tempt me. I knew that my lack of appetite worried him but time would allow my stomach to rejoin the real world, the way that I had. The smell of fresh oranges made me sit up rather rapidly and I bit my lip at the small pain in my chest. Those muscles still needed waking up.

“Ezra?” Worried blue eyes met mine and Vin put the tray on my lap before reaching over to pull his pillow over to join mine behind me. 

“Good morning, Vin. It’s nothing but a sore muscle.” I pulled him down for my wake-up kiss and he cupped my head tenderly before opening to my questing tongue. Nothing ever tasted as good as my Vin. And nothing ever would.

We separated finally and he shook his head. “I’ll put more of Caine’s salve on the incision in a bit.”

“That will help but starting my tai chi exercises again will take care of all the sore muscles.” I poured a cup of tea and breathed in the delicate aroma of chrysanthemum tea. “You’re spoiling me, Vin.”

He had crawled back into the other side of the bed to recline by my side. “Not possible, Ez’. I’m just taking care of my other self, besides you take care of me, too.”

“We make a very good couple.” I savored a segment of orange. Its strong tartness would overpower the tea but I suddenly wanted to eat some of everything on the tray. Even the toast finally looked good. I knew the doctor wanted me to start gaining back the weight I’d lost but literally nothing had tasted good except for Vin.

Vin watched me eat with a smile and I made sure that I fed him bites too. It was one of the only intimacies allowed in the hospital except for the rare kiss when someone was watching the door for us. I craved his touches, even the non-sexual ones that reminded me that I was something other than a patient. With a start, I realized that I’d finished almost everything on the tray. And Vin’s grin told me how pleased he was.

“I knew you could do it, Ezra. You ready for another bath?”

“No, I think we should shower and save our bath for tonight when we can christen our brand new bathtub.” I handed him the tray and slowly got out of bed while he watched me without being too obvious. “You said that it has a whirlpool?”

“Yep, Jase says that it’s the best one on the market and it won’t leak like some of the old ones did in the eighties.” Vin walked with me, leaving the tray on the dining room table so he could join me in the bathroom.

It was still a bit of a shock to see the bathroom stripped of everything but the bare essentials. For some reason, it looked colder to me or maybe that was just a side effect of the medication that I was still on. They’d had me on several drugs to help my body adjust to what basically was open-heart surgery when they repaired the artery that one of the bullets had opened.

In time, I would be able to stop taking everything although an aspirin a day might just become a new habit. That one I could live with. Vin took the brunt of the initial chill water before letting me in with him so we could play with the soap. I felt like purring as his soap slick hands gently slid over my skin from my shoulders down to my feet. While he was there, he nuzzled my cock with his chin and I felt myself begin to harden just a little.

For a while, I’d been afraid that I’d become impotent but Caine had delicately explained that the . . . connections would take time to remember what they were supposed to be doing. But now, I could feel myself begin to grow again. All the different textures were reminding my body how very good it felt to be alive and in love with the most wonderful man in the world.

“I missed this more than anything, the taste of you and your silky skin.” He was worshiping my body with his hands and I leaned against the tiles, suddenly short of breath. “But this can wait until I’ve got you safely back in bed.” He got to his feet and mock glared at me when I would have pouted.

“Missed your taste, too, my angel-Vin. And I shall be reminding you of that promise when we get dry.” It was my turn to soap my hands and spread the creamy bubbles over his body. The sculpted shoulders, the deceptively soft skin and pert nipples, the rock hard abdominal muscles, all teased my fingers to touch again and again.

“I think that spot is clean, Ezra.” He chuckled and took the soap away before I could do more than glove his beautiful cock. “You can have that bath toy back once you’re in bed.”

“Meany.” I pouted a bit but gave in at his stern look. Rinsing off, we stepped out and began to dry each other. We got in each other’s way but that was part of the fun. I’d never known how much pleasure could be gotten from such a simple act of loving care. Each caress told me of his love and I was surely trying to give him back all that great affection with which he showered me.

But I was once again tired and any hardness I might have had disappeared along with my strength. Vin was watching though and with an arm around my waist, he walked me back into the bedroom. This time he laid me on his side of the bed. “I’m going to get out those real comfortable sweats of yours and feed my foot fetish by making you wear some of my favorite socks.”

I chuckled and acquiesced. “Oh, indeed, get out the white socks. When are the others coming?”

“It’s almost 10:30 so they should be showing up about eleven.” He laid out the wine colored sweats that he swore made me look even more sexy than usual. “God, Ezra, you have the sexiest feet.”

And he proceeded to kiss them each into ecstasy. I was the luckiest man in the world to have a lover with such an interesting fetish. All too soon he finished pulling on the socks and my sweatpants. Then the top and I was ready for company while he was still naked. I’d never known that it was so much fun to dress someone rather than undress him but then, I was learning a lot from my sweet love. 

He let me pick out his shirt and I chose the blue chambray that turned his eyes even more blue than normal. From the bottom up, I buttoned each button with a kiss to his stomach, chest and throat. Poor Vin seemed to be having trouble zipping his jeans so I sat on the edge of the bed and took him deep into my relaxed throat. He still tasted of ambrosia to me and he’d been on edge most of the morning so his release was quick and copious.

Just the way I like it.

Zipping him up, I patted the slight budge to the left of his zipper. “There, Vin, that should take care of you for a couple of hours. Then I plan on making you scream.”

He chuckled and kissed me thoroughly, scouring my mouth of any stray seed. Finally, we had to breathe and he rested his forehead against mine. “I can hardly wait, Ezra.”

The doorbell broke us apart and he finger combed my hair tenderly. “You ready to move?”

“Yes, to our first real home together.” I knew I was smiling and his smile matched mine.

“Yeah, together. Come on, big guy, we’ve got some people to boss around.” He pulled me up and we went to answer the bell.

******** 

Our team has never worked so well together. They all brought boxes and several magic markers for labeling. Josiah and Nathan took the kitchen. Buck and J.D. took the study. Chris boxed up the books and CDs in the living room while Vin and I packed clothes. Within two hours we were finished with the entire apartment since Vin had already done the bathroom and linen closet. 

It’s amazing what a good team can do. We took two boxes from the kitchen, which held cups, plates, glasses and silverware along with the coffee maker and teakettle. All the boxes from the bathroom and linen closet were next. They took apart the bed and dresser, leaving the clothes in the drawers and carrying them down to Vin’s new truck. Then the six suitcases packed with our clothes along with the boxes of the rest of my wardrobe were carried out and dispersed among our vehicles.

The only thing they would let me carry was Vin’s sampler from over our bed. I will admit to being a little tired and ready for a nap but mostly I just felt greatly cherished by the men I can truthfully call friends. Leaning my head against the back of the seat, I closed my eyes and thought about the big, beautiful space that Vin had created for us.

“Tired, Ez?” Vin’s warm hand stroked mine where it lay atop the towel wrapped sampler. “Soon as we get home, you need to take a little nap on the guest bed. Buck is calling for pizza from Mario’s and it won’t take long to get the trucks emptied of stuff. The freight elevator will be a lot better to use than that dinky thing in the old place.”

I chuckled at the memory of the surprised look on Buck’s face when he tried to get the headboard of my sleigh bed in the elevator after J.D. patiently told him twice that it wouldn’t fit. That pairing was progressing quite nicely while they worked out the new dynamics of their relationship. Buck still flirted with the ladies and he probably always would but J.D. had such a hold on his heart that I could see it plainly written in his eyes.

J.D. was more sure of himself now and spoke quietly but firmly to the other members of the team. He was coming into his own and I was hoping that in the mentoring our team would be doing, he would finally receive the respect that he deserved for his knowledge of the technical world.

My thoughts were interrupted by our arrival at our new home. The door opener would be extremely handy in bad weather. We let J.D. go in first with the Jag and I watched him park Pegasus with a sigh of relief, one less thing to worry about. Vin parked in the stall next to him followed by Chris’ truck, Josiah’s van and Buck’s SUV. Opening the door and stepping out of Bella, I nodded with satisfaction. We still had plenty of room to maneuver.

Loading up the elevator with the bed and dresser first, we moved upward towards home. I was almost as excited as the day before when I saw it all for the first time. Home. I finally had a home. Vin’s arm was around my waist and I leaned into him with a sigh. But more importantly, I had the man who owned my heart. That was such a blessing to me and worth any amount of pain. Surrounded by friends, I felt an emotion rise up that I hadn’t felt in a very long time.

Happiness.

But my sigh had alarmed Vin and he propelled me straight into the guest bedroom, taking off my shoes and tucking me under the bright quilt. Kissing me gently, he held my hand while I dozed off. When I awoke, there was silence everywhere and I wondered where everyone was. The sun must have been directly overhead because the east windows no longer cast bright patches of sun into the room. The door opened silently and Vin peeked in to check on me.

“I’m awake, angel. This is a very good mattress.” I held out my hand and he swooped to my side, kissing me instantly. I closed my eyes and savored the spices of the pizza he’d eaten.

Breaking the kiss, he licked his lips. “You taste good, Ez’. Are you hungry? Josiah brought the boxes with all the refrigerator stuff so you don’t have to eat pizza if something else sounds better.”

“I think some of the black bean soup from Miss Daisy would hit the spot.” I slowly sat up with his help and waited for the room to stop spinning. He could tell something was wrong but he waited patiently until I could let go of his arms. “I’m dizzy, that’s all, Vin. I’m getting better every day and living here will be just the medicine I need to recover completely.”

“Love you, Ez’. Tell me when you need to rest or sit down or if you just need a hug.” He kissed me sweetly again and I smiled at his soft nips to my lower lip. That was a sensitive spot for me and he loved teasing me there. “Now, let’s go out and see if you like where we put everything.”

I let him help me out of bed and I walked out in my stocking feet while he whispered that his white sock fetish had returned and I should be prepared to have my toes nibbled as soon as he got me alone. I could hardly wait. But the team members were sitting on the barstools on the living room side of the kitchen median listening to the radio commentary of some soccer match. I got a couple of waves but Vin just kept me moving towards our bedroom.

Opening the door, I stepped inside our own small bit of Paradise. The bed entered on the east wall beneath the high windows. It was dressed with the deep green sheets and the silk duvet with at least six colorful pillows of varied shapes and sizes scattered over our sleeping pillows. The green chair had a cushion placed right where it would fit the hollow of a sore back.

But Vin was sliding open the mirrored door to the walk-in closet and I followed his bright smile into a room that held all of our clothes with even some room to spare. The plastic boxes that held my undercover clothes sat neatly arranged on the high shelves that circled the closet. Our shoes had their own rack beneath the hanging poles while his everyday boots sat to one side. That reminded me that he needed a new pair of boots for special occasions. His black pair had burned with his apartment.

Coming back out into the room, I saw how well the dresser fit between the door and the bathroom wall with the large mirror tilted ever so slightly towards the bed. But I had to keep going to the bathroom. Evergreen towels hung on the oak dowels while our toothbrushes hung in the cup holder on the wall above the sinks. A basket on the counter held dried magnolia potpourri that filled the air with its delicate scent and my eyes spotted the bottle of bath oil on the broad lip of the oval tub.

“All right?” Vin was watching me like the hawk to which I’d compared him.

“Paradise, my Vin, you’ve created a paradise for the two of us.” I leaned into his arms and felt them come up around me instantly. “I think I need to thank everyone so we can send them home.”

He started to laugh, hugging me close and rubbing his hands over my back down to my ass. “I think . . . that’s the . . . best idea you’ve had today.”

I smiled into his neck and licked a small patch of skin for his salty taste. He hiccuped and stopped laughing with a little moan. He pulled a little away and the spark in his eyes lit an answering fire in mine. We both breathed in the other before breaking apart to go out and thank our friends for all they’d done.

But when we got to the kitchen, they were gone along with the empty pizza boxes. A note was taped to the faucet, fluttering a little under the slowly moving ceiling fans.

_Guys,_

_Time for us to go. Call if you need us.  
Otherwise, we’ll see you a week from   
today for the hockey game._

_Chris, Josiah, Nathan, Buck and J.D._

They’d all signed it and Vin smiled at the little squiggle under Buck’s name. “We have very good friends. I’m glad that I gave one of the garage door openers to Buck.”

“We need to talk to the two of them about the third floor.” I said while pulling Vin back towards the bedroom. “Later, much . . . much later.”

He agreed, steering me around the bed and straight into the bathroom. “Later.”

We slowly undressed each other, leaving our clothes on the floor while the tub began to fill. The handles and faucet were centered in the middle of the oval so both of us could have a slanted back to rest against. Vin poured in some oil and I took a deep breath from the side of the tub before sliding on in. With a little splash, he joined me while the water rose higher and higher, past the jets on the side. I could also feel one at the small of my back and I could hardly wait for the water to get high enough.

“Ready?” He said with a grin and I nodded. He turned off the water then pressed three switches in quick succession. The water began slowly to churn around us, bubbles breaking the surface while fizzing over my skin like a champagne bath.

“Oh, Lord, I’ve died and gone to heaven.” I could feel my muscles quiver with each pulse of jet propelled water against my back. 

“No dying allowed, Ezra.” Vin’s hands ran up my legs while he moved between them.

“Of course not, my angel. I’ll never leave you if I have any say in the matter.” I told him quite truthfully. I was the most committed man I knew of in the world.

“Good.” He nodded once then began to rub the soap between his hands with a lusty look.

“I doubt that I got dirty carrying your sampler up in the elevator.” I teased him.

“Probably not, Ez’ but I think I’ll just make real sure.” He assured me before working his soapy hands over my chest. Very, very gently, he stroked the scar above my heart, his gaze intent on the ugly thing. After rinsing it, he leaned in and kissed it tenderly, taking the ugliness away with his love.

“My Vin, how very lucky I am that you love me.” I stroked his cheek and he leaned into my palm with a sigh.

“I’m the lucky one, Ezra. You stayed with me when it would have been easier to leave.” His eyes shimmered with tears, turning them a deep shade of blue like the summer sky. “Everyone I loved always left me, Ez’. You’re the only one who stayed.”

“Oh, Vin, I could never leave you.” I pulled him in the rest of the way so he partially lay against my chest with his head on my shoulder. “You have my heart, remember?”

He sniffed and smiled a rather watery smile. “Oh yeah, I forgot. And you have mine so we’ll both have to be careful.”

“Indeed we will.” I closed my eyes and rested my cheek on his silky hair. “For the next week, we will forget the rest of the world exists.” What a lovely thought. “Except for the movers. And Jase and Lee. And my checkup at the clinic.”

Vin snickered. “And dinner with the guys at Miss Daisy’s on Wednesday . . . and the consultation with the landscapers on Thursday . . .and the Friday afternoon class with Vin’s wrecking crew on the second floor.”

I had a smile on my face by now as well. “Well, with a few exceptions, I plan on taking you to bed and not getting out for anything but a very good reason.”

“Right!” His chuckled vibrated very nicely against my throat. Then he was kissing up to that hot spot behind my ear while I shivered in his arms. “Five more minutes, Ez’, then we’re getting out so you can have that soup that I forgot about.”

“Oh, good. A picnic in bed would be very nice.” I idly ran a soapy hand down his arm. “I’ll just have to make sure that you’re all clean before I let you into our bed.”

He was snickering again but obligingly moved so I could reach his back before turning so I could slide my hands all over his satin smooth chest. His nipples peaked for me and I pinched them gently, making him groan. His cock bobbed in the heated water, pointing straight at me and I couldn’t forbear a quick slide of fingers over him.

“Ezra, no teasing.” He pouted at my abandoning his shaft in favor of his inner thighs.

“I don’t believe that I know that rule, Vin. Is there something you’re not telling me?” I came back to his chest, rinsing away the suds so I could lean in to taste his beautiful nipples. The muscles in my chest caught and I had to catch my breath at the sudden pain.

“That’s it, Ezra, too much movement.” He told me sternly. “I’m going to get out first then I’ll help you out.”

“I’m fine, Vin.” But I did as he asked and felt the muscle spasm ease in the liquid heat.

“That’s what I intend to make very sure of, my Ezra, for the rest of our lives.” His kiss was tender and I basked in his love. 

Five minutes later, we were out of the tub and slowly drying ourselves off. The water had made me sleepy again and I crawled into bed gratefully while Vin went to get the soup. I just hoped that I’d be able to stay awake long enough to eat. Needing to sleep all the time was getting to be frustrating. But the next time I woke up, I was going to nail Vin to the bed or know the reason why.

His humming from the kitchen followed me into sleep.

Later.

********************   
Vin, last part  
***************** 

Ezra had fallen asleep again and I quietly put the soup back in the fridge. It could be heated up again if he didn’t wake up in a few moments. I leaned in the doorway and looked my fill. I loved watching him and I kind of thought that I always would. Since the first time I met him when he joined the team, I’d found my eyes returning to him over and over. He was beautiful and now I knew that his beauty was more than skin deep. It went all the way into his mind, heart and soul.

“Vin, ya’ll are staring at me again.” His sleepy voice was always more Southern.

“Hold that thought, Ez’, while I go get your soup.” I dashed back and nuked the soup for another forty seconds before putting it on the tray that I’d gotten ready. He liked the oranges so much that I’d peeled another one and segmented it on a little plate. I added a glass of cold water and his tray was ready.

I carried it in and he’d already stuffed a couple of pillows behind him so he was sitting up and ready for lunch. Or maybe it was dinner since it was almost four o’clock. Setting it on his lap, I sat on the edge of the bed to watch him eat. I loved it when he closed his eyes and moaned just a little. He really did love Miss Daisy’s black bean soup.

“Vin, I do believe that once I’ve finished this magnificent repast, there’s something I rather crave for dessert.” He licked his lips and I found myself staring at them as if I’d never seen them before.

“What would that be, Ez’?” I said a little absentmindedly while I pondered leaning in to lick off a speck of soup at the corner of his mouth.

He chuckled and set the tray on the bedside table. “You, my love.”

Then he grabbed my shoulder and pulled me into his arms. I thought I’d lose my mind when he scattered kisses all over my face but avoided my lips. I’m pretty sure that I was pouting when he finally laid his lips on mine, parting them so his tongue could surge into my mouth.

Now, I was the one groaning and pretty soon I was panting. “Vin, my sweet angel, you are such a tasty treat. And I appreciate how you presented yourself for my delectation.”

His warm fingers slid down my cock and at the first touch of his mouth at my crown I almost came. But he just chuckled and shifted me off his lap so he could get closer to me. I caught sight of myself in the mirror above the dresser and once I saw him take me in, I couldn’t move my gaze. He was so beautiful and the look on his face was so intent on giving me pleasure. It kind of felt like watching someone else.

So, I quit looking and closed my eyes to pay attention only to the love he was giving me. ‘A caring touch’ he’d called it when still in the hospital and we were both hungry for each other. When he pinched my left nipple gently, I could have come again just from that. I never knew that men could be pleasured that way but then Ezra was teaching me so many things.

He was sucking strongly now and my hips kept trying to leave the bed. But he held them down and rolled my balls like they were a pair of dice. Suddenly, I had a picture of myself, naked on a gambling table while he dealt the cards to the rest of the team members to see who would get to suck me next. That was so unexpected that I jerked and came all at once.

Drinking me down, he chuckled around my cock and I spasmed again, pouring my seed down his throat. When I had nothing left to give, he tenderly let me slip from between his lips, licking them in satisfaction. “Delicious, as always, my Vin. Are you going to tell me what thought made you erupt?”

I blushed hard all the way down to my toes. “Um, it was kind of kinky, Ezra.”

“All the better, angel, some fantasies are fun to think about.” He leaned over me and rested his folded arms on my chest. “Don’t worry about it being inappropriate. Those are just fantasies that don’t need to be acted out.”

“Okay. I had this picture of me sprawled out on the dining room table while you dealt the cards to the guys to see who got to suck me off next.” I was still blushing but he kissed me gently and slowly the embarrassment went away.

“I don’t share, angel-Vin, so that’s going to have to be one of those fantasies that doesn’t get acted out. However, a lively game of strip poker some night just between the two of us could definitely be arranged.” He smiled down at me and I hugged him close, only then feeling his cock hard against my groin.

“That would be good on a hot summer day in the gazebo on the roof.” I loved seeing him laugh like that. Snaking a hand down to his cock, I stroked him slowly. “Make love to me, Ezra. Remind me that I belong to you.”

His eyes blazed with emerald green fire. “What a good idea, Vin. But we’ll need some lubricant.”

“Side table along with our toys. I carried it up myself.” I snickered when I thought about how I’d almost dumped it in front of J.D. ‘Course, he probably already knows about toys and such like but in case he didn’t, I wasn’t going to be the one who showed him. 

Ezra moved carefully off of me and I realized that he probably shouldn’t be moving so much. But there was one position that I hadn’t tried yet and I thought he might like the idea. So, I waited until he was back by my side before grinning at him.

“That’s entirely too evil a grin, young man. Just what are you planning?” He asked me sternly but with a little quiver of his lip that told me he was teasing.

“I’m thinking that I’d like to ride you the way you rode me when I first came inside of you.” I said tentatively and watched his face light up.

“You’re always thinking of me, love. I think that’s just what I’d like, too.” He opened the tube of lubricant and I turned over so he could get it where it would do the most good.

I loved this part when his fingers slide inside of me and slick me all up for him. He was still big even though he was slower to turn on these days. Once all the medication was over with, he’d be back to normal. But right now, he was stretching me slowly and the burn was making me want to move. Then he sparked my gland and I shivered all the way down to my toes.

Pretty soon I was begging him to come inside of me and he kissed my right nether cheek before removing his fingers and lying down. I was straddling him in a heartbeat and he held himself at my entrance until I figured the angle and pushed myself down onto him. We were both groaning. It felt like the first time all over again but this time it was me looking down at him triumphantly when I had all of him.

The look on his face was pure bliss and his hands slid back and forth on my inner thighs, teasing me with the gentle touch. My cock even thought about coming back to life while I adjusted to having that big cock inside of me. It felt like I was stretched around one of those nightsticks that the old beat cops used to carry. But slowly I felt better and finally I moved forward so I could lean down and kiss him.

He must have moved over my gland because I felt a spark light deep inside of me where only he could reach. After kissing him, I experimented with a slow up and down movement that soon had him thrusting up just a little. He showed me how to lock hands with him so I could use them to steady myself while I was moving up. Gravity took care of my down thrusts. 

Pretty soon we were rocking pretty good and he was biting his lip to keep from coming. But I was still a mite worried about over-stressing him so I started squeezing those inner muscles around him and he came with an almost silent scream. I felt his seed shoot deep inside of me and I even pulsed out a little onto his stomach. He was shaking all over and I took his pulse with my finger on his wrist, which I hoped he wouldn’t notice.

“I’m fine, Vin.” That husky drawl always touched my heart. “I feel incredible.” His eyes opened and the look in them would have made me blush except that I knew my eyes were looking at him the same way. “Thank you, my angel-Vin, for loving me.”

“Loving you is the best thing I’ve ever done, Ezra. And I love you more every day.” I could feel him start to soften and I started rocking again just a little to help him come out without hurting me.

He sighed and finally came out with a little pop. Luckily, I’d thrown a washcloth on the side table so I didn’t leak all over the clean sheets. After a quick cleanup, I snuggled into his side and pulled the duvet over us. His arms came up around me and I heard him sigh again but this time it was a satisfied sigh.

“You are a remarkable man, Vin Tanner. I am truly blessed that you love me.” He smiled against my temple and I felt his lips move softly over the tender skin there. “And this home that you’ve built for us is everything I ever wanted. Thank you.”

I hugged him tight to me and wondered how to tell him that what I’d helped build was the most selfish thing I’d ever done. “Ezra, I was building for us and just having an ‘us’ was everything I ever wanted. Knowing that you love me makes me feel ten feet tall.”

He chuckled a little. “Very true, Vin. When I look up and see you smiling at me, I want to shout ‘he loves me’ to the whole universe.”

“Well, I don’t know if Judge Travis is ready to hear it but I like not having to keep it from the rest of the team and Miss Clover.” I found myself rubbing little circles onto his stomach and he hummed contentedly.

We rested for about a half an hour before getting up and putting on our robes and slippers. He had me take him around the big room that served as living, dining and study space. Jase was real big on ceiling fans and since the ceiling was 11 feet high, it sure did help to keep the warm air down where we needed it. He paced off from the short end of the ‘L’ where I thought the study could go.

He really liked the wiring for speakers all over the big room. The entire north wall was heavy steel shelving that Miss Clover had recommended from a library supplier. The shelves were all twelve-inches deep so we could put books or CDs or equipment on them and a creamy tan a little darker than the walls and ceiling. He walked around where his roll-top desk would go then paced off about six feet where the armoire that held the stereo equipment might work.

It was fun to watch his mind place items then move them. I swear I could practically see them come to life. I could hardly wait for Monday and the movers. We planned the day carefully, neither of us wanting to be alone just yet. So we set the alarm for seven am and went to bed early, Ezra complaining that I was giving him bad habits. 

Oh yeah, I thought with a smile.

****** 

Monday dawned bright and sunny. Ezra didn’t even complain when the alarm went off. I think he was more excited than I was and that was going some. We ate breakfast at a little neighborhood café about two blocks from Adams street. It was real clean and nice and Ezra finished his oatmeal before stealing one of my strips of bacon. He finished it and his orange juice with a real pleased look.

We got to the apartment about fifteen minutes before the movers. Since we were already boxed up and ready to go, they took a good look around and decided to move us today rather than waiting for tomorrow. The head guy was real nice and he appreciated the nice antique desk that Ezra said was the first piece of furniture he’d ever bought. He and Ez’ hit it off right away and I could see some of the tension ease in my lover.

It had to be kind of hard to let others handle your stuff when you couldn’t. But these guys were real pros and it only took them three hours to take everything out of the apartment. It looked real empty when they were done and I watched Ezra look around the rooms where he’d lived for just over a year.

“This was a nice place, Vin, but I won’t miss it at all.” He leaned into my arm and I threaded it around his waist. “Home is waiting for us, my angel. Let’s go.”

“You got it, Ezra. Let’s go home.” I hugged him tight then let him go.

The movers followed us back to the warehouse but the truck wouldn’t fit through the garage door so we had to leave it open although their truck kept it pretty well closed off. Two hours later they were done. Ezra wrote them a check and I made sure that everything was secure on the ground floor, waving them off. 

Nice guys and I’d be sure to recommend them to anybody moving. They’d left their cards with us and I thought I’d put one up on the bulletin board in the third floor cafeteria. That was kind of command central for most of the teams. Taking a last look around, I started towards the elevator.

_Squeak._

I stopped and looked around. Nothing. Two more steps and there it was again.

_Squeak._

I turned in a circle trying to figure out where the odd sound was coming from. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw something move in the corner where the filled trash bags sat, waiting for garbage day. Moving quietly across the concrete floor, I soft footed it over to where one of the bags of sawdust sat.

_Squeak._

And sure enough, I found the noisemaker. A gray-striped mama cat and four kittens were curled up on the bag of sawdust. She watched me warily and her tail thrashed a bit but I just settled back on my heels and waited her out. The kittens were nursing but one of them decided to investigate me instead. His fur was all gray from the tips of his little ears to the end of his fluffy tail.

I held out my hand and he sniffed it real good before deciding that it needed cleaning. His raspy little tongue tickled and when he decided to gnaw on my index finger, he could hardly get his little jaws open wide enough. I chuckled real quiet like and he jumped a foot before deciding it wasn’t bad.

“Vin? Everything all right?” Ezra’s voice came from the intercom that we’d set up between all the floors.

“Ez’, come on down and see a little surprise that just appeared.” I called out, hoping he’d hear me from where I knelt.

“Coming.” The little click told me that he’d be right down. Ezra has a bump of curiosity almost as big as mine.

The little gray decided that I deserved a closer look and he jumped up on my hand before picking his way carefully up my arm to my shoulder. He peeked through my hair at the sound of the elevator then went back to exploring me. Tiny kitten claws felt like little needles through my shirt and I was glad I had on heavy denim instead of my usual t-shirt.

The elevator opened and Ezra came out, looking around for me before spying me crouched by the garbage. Gray peeked out again from behind the curtain of my hair and Ezra started laughing from halfway across the floor.

“Dear heaven, don’t tell me that the movers left us a present.” He joined me, sitting down on the hard floor and bringing his hand up so Gray could sniff him.

“Nah, probably she snuck in while the door was up and brought the rest of the kittens with her.” I watched him smile real sweet at the mother and another of the kits left her to investigate the big humans.

“Well, aren’t you the feisty one?” Ezra held out his hand and the yellow-striped kitten pounced on it with a little squeak, trying to wrestle him to the ground.

“Ezra, I think we may have found our watch-cats. What do you think?” I watched him cradle the little tiger to his chest.

“I think you’re right, Vin. They look to be about six or seven weeks old, don’t you think?” A tiny paw was batting at his chin and he was grinning down at him with the kind of carefree grin that I hadn’t seen in too long.

“I think so, Ez’. We probably need to get them tested and get all their shots going. And Mama here needs to be neutered so she doesn’t have any more kittens.” I firmly believed that it was everyone’s responsibility to make sure that cats and dogs are taken care of instead of being raised to be throw-aways.

Animal abuse gets me hotter than a pistol and I could see that the mother cat was gaunt and tired. It had probably been a while since her last good meal, which meant the kittens weren’t getting the complete nutrition they needed. “Ez’, I’m going to call Buck and see if he and J.D. would stop and pick up some food and litter and stuff for them.”

“Good idea. Mama looks like she could use some better rations.” Ezra read my mind like he does sometimes. “We’ve got some tuna upstairs that would probably hit the spot. And if we use one of the roller paint pans with some sawdust in it that would make a litter box for them for now.”

“Yeah, let’s use one of the boxes that we emptied yesterday.” I stood up and shook out my legs from their cramped state. Mama meowed at me and Gray answered her right back kind of sassy like. I could see that they were going to be a handful. He clung to my shoulder and I talked to him while I got one of the boxes and lined it with a towel that Ezra kept for drying the Jag after he got it washed.

Gray was still clinging to me when we rejoined his brothers and sisters. I reminded myself that I needed to check and see if he was a girl or a boy. Ezra was humming to the little tiger in his hands and I could see that the mother cat was listening to him, too. He really could charm a person with that soft voice of his. Whether you had two legs or four, he really could mesmerize a body.

Setting the box down between us, I grabbed Gray and set him inside his new playground. He squeaked loudly and Ezra put Tiger in with him so they wouldn’t be scared. They immediately pounced on each other, mock fighting with little nips and growls. Mama cat got up to peer over the side of the box, the other two kittens coming with her. Ezra scooped them up and put them inside while Mama thought about it.

She looked at both of us then at the kittens then back at us again. Ezra crooned at her and she made up her mind just like that, leaping in lightly. It looked like we had our watch- cats, enough for all four floors. I carried the box up in the elevator while Ezra kept up a soft nonsense dialog to keep them calm. Once in the loft, I set them down near the kitchen while he hurried to open a can of tuna for Mama.

Leaving the kittens in the box, she jumped out and headed right for the bowl he’d set up on the floor. She was a real neat eater even though she must have been starving. I could hear her purr from where I was sitting on the floor by the box. It like to shook her whole body and I could see Ezra melting into a little puddle of goo right there on the floor. He was such a softy and I loved watching him go all dewy-eyed at the sight of a mangy cat enjoying her first real meal in too long.

Which reminded me to check for fleas while she was eating. The kittens seemed free of vermin but I made a mental note to have Buck get some flea bath also. Just to be on the safe side. I’d only been flea bit a couple of times but they itch like hell and I hate what you have to do to get rid of them. Those flea bombs are bad on the environment and just plain nasty to clean up after.

Ezra was talking on his cell phone and the list included flea dip. I chuckled at his reading my mind again. We were a real pair. Ezra was laughing at something Buck said and I watched him with a big smile. Somehow, out of all the people in the world, we’d come together to complete each other. I’d only been existing until I joined the team. And I definitely had only been playing at love until I realized that I loved him.

The good Lord had really been working overtime when he plotted to get us together. Then again, Kwan Yin had a real big hand in bringing Ezra back to me. So, I guess that I’ll just have to thank them both every night as long as I live. It wouldn’t be enough but then nothing could ever be enough for the gift of his love.

“Deep thoughts, angel.” Ezra had scooted across the floor to me and his hand on my knee brought me back to him.

“Just thanking all the deities I know for bringing us together. I love you, Ezra P. Standish.” I leaned in and kissed him with all my heart.

He slid a hand around my neck and pulled me in closer, taking me deeper into that hot mouth of his. We slid back and forth, entwining our tongues until we couldn’t tell whose was whose. Finally, when we had to breathe, he pulled just far enough away to look into my eyes.

“I thank God for you everyday, Vin. I never really loved before you came into my life. I may have played at that emotion but nothing was real until you loved me.” He rested his forehead against mine and I felt him tremble just a little. “Sometimes I would wake up in the hospital and think that you were a dream and I was alone again. But then you’d come in and my whole world would turn golden.”

“Oh, Ezra, we’re real and together and nothing will ever part us. I promise.” I teared up and had to sniff hard. His thumb brushed away a tear and he sighed before kissing me again.

I held onto him and asked the universe for nothing to ever come between us. Not now, not when we both loved with all our hearts. Forever.

*********************   
The End of Matchmaker


End file.
